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Hello there! I'm Jed. I've been "in the gaming journalism industry" sort of, kind of, for some time. Be it here in the cblogs, Tomodom (a site I made for underrepresented voices in games journalism), Girls Entertainment Network, and on the YouTubes and Twitches.

My reintro blog (2014)

OLD Blogs of mine you might consider reading:

My (outdated) intro blog

CATstlevania Episode 1

CATstlevania Episode 2

Aben Hawkins & The 1000 Spikes Review

Bulletstorm Review

Favorite Games / Series:

The Legend of Zelda
Super Smash Bros.
Bubble Bobble
Final Fight
Mario Kart 64
Dig Dug
River City Ransom

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My Gaming Channel

My "characters / troll" channel
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Ah Electronic Entertainment Expo, how I love you so much. I've dreamed of being deep inside of you, putting my hands on things not ready to be exposed to the public, pressing buttons, playing with joysticks and filling you full of my big, massive, sweaty ass. Running gleefully from booth to booth, exploring every up and coming game, but alas, I haven't been able to go, but with SQUIDBEAR AS MY WITNESS, I WILL BE INSIDE OF YOU ONE DAY...

...eh hem... Without further adieu, my E3 predictions.

Microsoft: Will Microsoft come hard, or will they be Micro soft?

Microsoft, in recent years, have been the absolute worst at keeping nearly every announcement from leaking prior to E3, yet this year we have heard nothing, zilch, zip. Why? My theory is that you only hear leaks when they are worth leaking, which means this years presser will suck major ass. Last year Microsoft announced Kinect and launched it as if it were an entirely new console and just like when they launched the 360, had a rather shitty line-up of games with very few releasing in the first year prior to the next E3.

So since Microsoft released their "new console" Kinect last year, I suspect this year they will focus mostly on software for it, as well as a few sequels for their hardcore players. Some easy bets will be the long rumored Halo: CE remake from the ground up with Live support, perhaps another unannounced Halo game, timed exclusive maps for Modern Warfare 3 and lots of numbers being thrown about for Kinect and their online services they now offer (Netflix, Hulu, Last.fm, etc.) More Kinect enabled features will be enabled on the dashboard, allowing you to control more, more easily. Microsoft will announce Kinect Sports 2, Kinectimals 2 this time with more animals that boys could like or potentially Kinectimonsters, think Kinectimals for boys / with monsters. Obviously they will show off Forza with Kinect as well as Mass Effect 3 with Kinect features to which I'm sure they will get roaring golf claps. As well as showing Avatar Kinect or whatever that pointless app will be called...who gives a fuck really!?

Lets not forget Microsoft's other gaming platform, Phone 7, which will have some games / features show off, and hopefully they announced a next generation Zune that can do all of the above, only without having to have a phone contract. If they don't, I think Microsoft if really not giving their fan base enough options, unlike Apple who will surely have a better press conference than Microsoft on the very same day, (iOS 5 anyone!?).

Overall rating: IDGAF

Nintendo: Caffeine or Decaf?

Nintendo announced the 3DS last year and will surely announce Project Cafe this year, the successor to the Wii, but will anyone care? Better yet, will I? The 3DS was rushed out due to Nintendo not making as much profit as it thought it would the last fiscal year and thus far it hasn't really gotten off the ground. The 3DS is the only console I haven't EVER seen sold out of after launch at Best Buy, so the demand for it must be pretty low, and why wouldn't it be, the console has a lackluster line of software, mostly ports from other consoles with a few added extras. Nintendo will be re-releasing some classic games on the 3DS soon, Zelda, Star Fox, etc, but hopefully they announce a few titles to make me actually want to buy the system. At this point I'll probably buy Ocarina 3D just to get whatever special edition they come out with, and NOT the system, unless of course there is a zelda 3DS.

The Cafe will have it's handy dandy new controller with an small LCD in it, which I don't see being very cost effective unless Nintendo plans on losing some money on the hardware at first, as is the usual with console losses except in the case of the Wii. Software wise I predict enhanced HD ports of "Nintendo Classics" as it seems to be the only thing Nintendo can do since Game Boy Advance and Gamecube came out. I can easily name tons of great games from the NES / SNES / N64 that filled my childhood...what games will the kids of today remember from the Gamecube and the Wii? A non console exclusive Zelda? A soulless "NEW" Super Mario Bros? The worst Mario Kart game to date? Boomblox? Mario Sunshine? Luigi's Mansion? I'm just tired of Nintendo riding on it's SNES / N64 days and re-releasing games that I feel were perfect the way they were. I'm all for Ocarina 3DS, but I also want NEW content that doesn't involve those fucking pointless characteristic-less Mii pieces of shit. Who really gives a shit about Mii characters, honestly?

I have a weird feeling that Skyward Sword will release on both consoles at the same time, or at least be forwards compatible. Remember the Kirby game Nintendo quietly announced a while back? Project Cafe exclusive. I can't believe they announced a REAL Kirby game as if it weren't important, but made a huge fucking deal out of Epic Yarn. I remember last year screaming on Twitter over and over ANNOUNCE A NEW KIRBY, ANNOUNCE A NEW FUCKING KIRBY IT HAS BEEN 7 FUCKING YEARS! Then I shat a brick when they announced Epic Yarn, and then I cried painful tears after playing it. Epic Yarn was fun, but I felt like Kirby was tacked on to sell more copies plus the middle 1/2 of the game could have been cut out and the game would have been far more entertaining. Nintendo should also announce a new Mario Party title, for the love of all things good, PLEASE!

The easy bets are a new Pokemon game to fill in the 3 color group of Black and White, a new console Pokemon game, more Professor Layton / Phoenix Wright, new Smash Bros, more Mii bullshit, new Wii Sports bullshit, and lots of other kiddy bullshit that NO...ONE...CARES....ABOUT!

Overall rating: Fuck it, why do I even type anymore, getting more and more disgruntled as this blog goes on and more and more unprofessional, fuck you for reading this.


Ah Sony, you've done SO MUCH in the past year, like get your server pussy fucked up beyond repair, squirting users personal information all over the web for all to see, as well as having your precious PS3 hacked to shreds to pirate all 10 of your decent games. Now you are going to be bringing out a new handheld, since your last one did so well, AMIRIGHT!?!? I can't wait to see the PS Vita, because a fucking touchpad (they work so great on laptops AMIRIGHT!?) on the back of an over prices downloadable only PSP is such a brilliant fucking idea, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT IDEAS YOU HAVE STOLEN FROM NINTENDO / 360, YOU ALWAYS DO SO WELL AT STEALING IDEAS AND HALF ASSING THEM! (See: Move, motion control, online play, xbox 360 exclusive / timed content, video game consoles prior to the PS3). Please make the PS Vagina at least $600, PLEASE! That way it can be the giant electronic dick that every person has to carry around as a status symbol, hey LOOK EVERYONE! I HAVE A PS VAGINA, IT COSTS $600 OMG! I hope you announce a bunch of really cool PSP ports for it, like LocoRoco and...what else was on the PSP?

Sony will also announce that the PS Store is BACK UP...then quietly move on from the PS3, just after showing Resistance 3, which again, will get millions of...ah kewls, and golf claps.

Overall rating: *pulls out gun, shoots self in head* GURGLING BLOOD SOUNDS

Fuck this E3 is going to be depressing...like really depressing. Why do I even consider myself a gamer anymore? For the past few years no one has done something that makes me go, HOLY FUCK! JUST WHAT I WANTED! Or even get a half chub...fuck it.

A few weeks ago I was at work bored out of my mind, so I started checking my Twitter feed. Nothing that great caught my eye until I got to chiptune band Anamanaguchi's feed. It said something along the lines of seeing them in Cleveland that night. I've been trying to see them for YEARS, but every time they are in Ohio I seem to not be. I was supposed to work till 7pm, but doors opened then, so I begged my manager to let me out early since we were slow and I got the go ahead! So after some texting of my ex-fiance / baby momma / roommate / friend (aka Andrea) we found a baby sitter and was on our way to Cleveland.

Upon arriving at the venue we were shocked at how tiny and shitty it was. The club could probably fit 100 people tops and the ceiling was a drop ceiling that was falling apart and had water stains from what I could only assume was a leaking roof. Andrea pointed out that she was one of probably under 10 females there, it was a wall to wall sausage fest as you could expect, as Anamanaguchi was opening for a crazy Japanese band, Peelander-Z, whom i'd never heard of. I was starting to think that it was going to be a shitty night and probably get more awkward as it went on.

Once Anamanaguchi took the stage, I thought "Tonight is gonna be a good night" (You just thought of the Black Eyed Peas song) and it was. Anamanaguchi rocked, during their songs I could feel the floor bouncing under my feet, almost trampoline like, as everyone was bouncing and jumping to their songs. Anamanaguchi played all their "hits" ranging from their older CDs to Another Winter from the Scott Pilgrim video game. Sadly, they weren't the head liner so their set was kind of short, but was well worth the $10 ticket price and drive. I hope to see them headline in the future!

The lead "singer" of Anamanaguchi

I was around 2nd or 3rd row from the stage (I didn't take this video) Also, if you look closely you can see everyone slightly bouncing along to the song making the trampoline floor. There are also other videos of the show on Youtube, but this is probably the best sounding one.


As soon as Anamanaguchi finished around 50% of the people left, not even staying to give the headliners a chance! Andrea and I decided to stay to at least see what they were all about. Pulling up Wikipedia on our phones to research them, we found out they do wrestling antics on stage, are from Japan having met each other in New York City and have lots of audience participation. Since a lot of the crowd had left, we pushed to the front of the stage easily, dead center, so close we could reach out and touch the lead singer's microphone.

Peelander-Z took the stage, consiting of Peelander Yellow, Peelander Red, Peelander Green, Peelander Black and occasionally Peelander Pink, each member dressed head to toe in their namesake color. Peelander-Z's lead singer has a haircut similar to Hulk Hogan and is missing a front tooth and he looks like he is old enough to be someones grandpa. Andrea and I keep looking at each other like... WTF is about to happen!?!?!?

Music starts and all the band members start jumping and playing at the same time, the lead singer starts shouting some lyrics that I forget (most of their lyrics are 3 to 4 words in English, over and over and over making up the entirety of the song) and Peelander Red jumps into the crowd with his guitar, and ends up standing on their hands with his head pushing up the drop ceiling while playing! It was the craziest rock antics I'd ever seen, these guys knew how to put on a show!

The show continues, as I continue to lose more and more of my hearing, and Peelander-Z reaches what I assume is one of their bigger hits, Mad Tiger, at which time Peelander Yellow and Red leave the stage and come back wearing tiger colored masks and capes. The lyrics to the song are literally Mad Tiger, Mad Tiger, Mad Tiger over and over. Peelander Pink takes the stage in what looks like a cross between a Power Ranger and a member of Team Rocket and starts handing out pans and drum sticks to everyone in the first two rows (including us.) The lead singer starts blowing a whistle and has us hit our pots and pans to the beat, then he and Red leave the stage and upon returning Red is dressed in a giant squid costume with bass strings on it. Red, Pink and Yellow go into the crowd and reveal a long rope, which spreads from the front of the crowd to the back, under which Red in his squid costume limbos. Then they had the entire crowd limbo as they moved the rope from one side of the club to the other, all while the drummer played and we played our pots and pans. It sounds really stupid, but it was SO MUCH FUN!

We are literally right in front of the lead singer, you can see Andrea, she is the short girl with the ponytail.

At this point I'm covered in sweat and can barely hear and Peelander-Z starts performing a song about Tacos. They repeat the same thing over and over "Taco Taco Taco, Taco..." Something... I have no idea! Then the unthinkable happens, they start holding the microphone to people in the front row, to my left and to my right. I start freaking out inside, I DON'T KNOW THE LYRICS! Yellow holds the microphone to Andrea, she says the lyrics... then the unthinkable happens, he holds the microphone to me...I literally just go "mphhh mphhh mphh" and mumble. I then get a dirty look and get hit with the microphone! I was so embarrassed! They finished the song and started the next song, which was apparently something about how everyone likes their steak medium rare, and Andrea and I turned and ran out of the club while Yellow's back was turned so we didn't get harassed by him.

I still have no idea what the hell the last part of the lyrics are...Tacos x3, today?

It was easily the best concert I've ever been to, not necessarily musically, but fun wise it can't be beat. I plan on going to see Peelander-z in Akron in June and plan on redeeming myself from ruining their Taco song! NARP anyone?
Photo Photo Photo

Pretty self explanatory

Monthly Musing: Aaaaaamazing: Nier

It took far longer to make these than you think, as I'm not great at drawing and I wanted them to get viewed. I know this is more of a forum post, but it involves some of my favorite members of the community, so I turned it into a blog. Anywho, I'm about to go play some Xbox 360, probably Halo: Reach, if anyone wants to join me, my name on there is Jed05.
Photo Photo

Hello Destructoid, It's been too long. It feels like forever but it's only been just over a month since my last post, a review of Bulletstorm that I put a ton of time into, that was met with little reaction. I suppose that kind of turned me off, but I have also been dealing with something only a few of you know about...

I'm Bi.

There, I said it. In January actually I admitted to myself that I am bisexual. I've been attracted to other males for years and made many excuses for my feelings. Trying to get myself to believe that it was only a passing feeling, a choice, or that I could somehow change it. When I was struggling to accept it, I had a bit of a nervous breakdown, one that I feel like I'm just now coming out of, in which I moved back home with my mom for 2 days. I was basically running away from myself and telling my fiance that I was bi. I finally returned home, and I told her. Her reaction was crying...because she was worried as to what was going to happen, was I going to run off and sleep with guys? Had I cheated on her?

Well eventually we discussed everything and decided it would be best if we break up, as we both agreed we hadn't been in love for some time and had been staying together for the baby. Currently we are still living together, and are supportive of each other in our search for love. We share details with each other about who we are "talking to" and even show each other pictures. Progressive, I know. Sure we still hurt sometimes thinking about the past or hearing an old song that reminds us of a different time, but we are moving on and doing what is best for our child as well as our happiness.

Coming out bi has been one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life and has been a roller coaster of emotions. I'm pretty sure I've been clinically depressed on and off since coming out, having mood swings, not having an appetite and not enjoying my hobbies (I've missed you Dtoid!). Coming out has also made me feel like I can finally be myself, I just feel free as if some kind of magical chains have been removed ala Majin. I bought my first V-neck, naired my arms/legs/chest, and have a less masculine beard now. Before anyone asks, no...I don't lisp or anything like that.

I've also tested the public waters of me being openly bi, via Xbox Live recently. I've been playing a lot of Full House Poker, and will generally chat with people just about their day and life in general. At times I'll bring up what I've been going through, just to see their reactions. Their reactions are what you could expect, a lot of hatred and nonacceptance, but every now and then you find someone who really is a generally nice person, I know I've found about 2 total. Honestly though, it's not discouraging me at all, everyone can be a loud opinionated jackass behind a microphone, but in person they wouldn't dare open their mouths.

Currently the only people that know I'm bi are my coworkers, my friends, and 2 of my cousins. Neither my family nor my ex-fiance's family know. I've been trying to bring myself to tell my mom, but it's just hard. I just don't want to feel like a disappointment, especially being the last person to pass on my last name on my side of the family. My ex's family didn't like me when we initially started dating, and I feel like when they find out what is going on they will go back to that way of thinking, only ten fold.

I have no idea how to tell my mom...I've considered just texting her and saying something along the lines of "Mom, I'm single, I'm bi, and I'm currently trying to find a nice guy to date." or something along that lines, or telling her over the phone. My mom and I have been close all my life, but we really don't talk about any real emotions or anything really personal. Perhaps if we both still played Animal Crossing I could drop a letter in the mail to her explaining everything, after painstakingly typing it with a GameCube controller. Basically I'm scared to tell her, and I'm not sure how to go about it.

As far as the "dude bro / dude brah" (aka what I like to call guys I'm interested in because it makes me comfortable and doesn't rub friends and coworkers the wrong way) front, I've been trying to find someone with like interests via the internet / phone apps. I've met a few guys that I feel really comfortable talking to but i'm not really sure how to go about things, I've been out of the dating scene for 5 years, and gay guys are pretty different from dating girls.

Having come out bi, I've found a lot of people telling me that "bi doesn't exist" or "you're in denial" basically trying to convince me that I'm gay. One of my friends is gay, and has a masters in psychology, and he argues the same thing, but also quotes some smart guy as saying that generally people lean one way, to which I'd agree with. I keep a running percentage in my head of my male vs female attraction / want, and it's been pretty solid at 60/40 (male/female). Are their times I'm more attracted to females? Sure, the entire time I was watching Sucker Punch (a great movie, I don't care what anyone says.) Maybe I'll end up gay, but I feel like I'm bi, not gay.

I may have said that in the past, but it's not all about sexuality, even though the world has sexual in it.

That being said, sorry that this wasn't very video game related (at all) but it will help me get back to living my life happily, writing blogs on Dtoid, pursuing my dream as a "game journo" and back to playing video games. This is my first huge step into my new life, and thanks for taking the time to read this and I look forward to reading your opinions and advice as well as meeting the "newbies" that have arrived since I had a hiatus.

People Can Fly are best known for the Painkiller series that features a decent story, settled nicely on top of balls to the wall action and zany guns...Bulletstorm fits this description as well, but is it a hell of a good time like Painkiller, or is there hell to pay?

Bulletstorm (Xbox 360)
Developer: People Can Fly, Epic Games
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Released: February 22, 2011
MSRP: $59.99

Bulletstorm is an FPS centered around killing enemies in creative, gruesome and hilarious ways to earn points which can be used to upgrade a plethora of original weaponry all whilst the main character, Grayson Hunt, is coming up with new swear words...while drunk.

Players control Grayson Hunt, an alcoholic fugitive space pirate with a crew who seems to hate him. Prior to being a fugitive space pirate, Grayson and crew had worked for General Serano (a cross between R. Lee Ermey and Hitler) as a group of assassins killing mass murders, terrorists and all around evil doers...or so they were told. On their last hit they discover that they had actually been killing reporters and innocent people to hide their governments evil doings from the public. From this moment on Grayson's only goal in life is to kill General Serano, even if it means killing a few thousand innocent people on the way.

A majority of the story follows Grayson and his cyborg buddy, Ishi, as they attempt to get off the planet Stygia they crash landed on after attacking General Serano's ship. Stygia is in the middle of a gang war, and neither gang cares for visitors nor do the man eating plants and mutants that also inhabit the planet.

The gameplay is not just about killing enemies to get from point A to B, but about how you kill enemies while going from point A to B. For example, near the start of the game you will have your standard run of the mill machine gun, that you can use to pummel enemies to death with bullets or even blow their heads off, but why would you want to do that when you could shoot your enemies in the balls and then when they cower in pain you kick their heads off!? While Gears of War brought out some of the old ultra-violence, Bulletstorm perfected it.

Throughout the game you will find yourself using a 'leash' device to pull enemies and objects towards you and into the air in slow motion, at which point you will have to decide if you are going to either kick them, generally towards deadly environmental objects, shoot them to death with a variety of weapons which include two forms of firing, or a combination of the two. Once you decide and execute your murder method of the moment, you will be awarded points based on style, which can be used to buy ammo, upgrade weapons and unlock secondary fire for each weapon.

While the game gives you a multitude of ways to kill enemies it seems to get a bit lazy at times, letting you repeatedly kick lines of enemies into near by spikes, killing them instantly with little to no skill, even when playing on very hard mode...which is nothing of the sorts. The first half of the game nearly requires you to be creative as the points you earn are used for ammo and ammo is scarce. Later on in the game you will find yourself killing enemies in the easiest way possible and ammo flowing from your dead enemies, giving you no real incentive to keep being the Mozart of murder.

Cutscenes will help keep you interested and attached to the characters you come into contact on your journey for revenge, and never feel long or drawn out. The voice acting is top notch, the writing is witty and hilarious and you will find yourself just waiting for the next one liner to come out of a character's mouth, such as 'murder boner' for example.

Levels play out vary linear, but are set in giant, colorful set pieces unlike any other FPS on the market in the past few years. Characters in the game will even point out how beautiful the scenery is around them and you will often find your jaw on the floor as you enter an area to find a colossal city or ship that looks as if it had been created by a modern day Picasso. While the graphics and levels are beautiful and colorful, they never distract you from the game and only enhance it's playability. The same can be said about the music, as it is never overpowering, but is easily as good as any of the Halo soundtracks.

Other than campaign mode there is a single player "Echoes" mode that has you rushing through small segments of the campaign with a time limit, with the goal being to rack up the highest score in the shortest amount of time possible. There are a limited number of these Echoes to play, and they serve no real purpose other than bragging rights on leaderboards. Echoes feels tacked on to add longevity or re-playability to the game, but actually doesn't really add anything other than leaderboards and a timer at the top of the screen.

Anarchy is the only multiplayer mode (why not just call it Multiplayer Mode?) which lets you and three others go through wave after wave of enemies where the goal is to reach a par score by killing them in the most creative, gruesome ways possible. Between each wave you are given a results screen where you are compared to the other players in your game, so you can see who is killing with style and who is just mashing buttons. At the start of each wave you can use your points earned to buy ammo, unlock guns and buy secondary charged shots, allowing you to make even more creative kills. While the multiplayer is fun with friends who want to work together, random players online seem to just mash buttons and kill everything as fast as they can, which causes you to repeat the round over and over until you hit the par score. Having the only mutliplayer mode being focused purely on teamwork feels like a bad decision, especially with no co-op campaign to speak of, as the developers are assuming you will easily transition from "kill everything that moves" mode to "I like to share kills" mode. Most matches just turn into everyone leashing enemies away from each other, and kicking them into nearby traps. In other words, it's about as fun as a game of tug of war only with less rope and more blood.

Bulletstorm may have a few minor problems, such as the tacked on Echoes mode and multiplayer that requires strong team work (read: friends), but is one of the best single player campaigns in an FPS that has released in a long time. Easily recommendable for FPS fans, especially if you enjoy a hilarious journey mixed with some good swearing and a giant helping of boots to the face. On the other hand, if you are looking for the next great multiplayer experience, look elsewhere, or at least until the sequel comes out.

Score: 8 -- Great (8s are impressive efforts with a few noticeable problems holding them back. Won't astound everyone, but is worth your time and cash.)

11:39 PM on 02.16.2011

Earlier in the day Hamza himself posted a blog about making the community blogs a better place, and one line really stuck with me, 'Go for quality instead of quantity -- that makes *all* the difference.'

So i tweeted @ him on ye olde Twitter, and asked if he thought my daily blogging was a bit too much, and if I should cut it back? His response was "Go with what the community says. If they seem to like it, cool. If you're getting a lot of negative feedback, evolve your shits"

I've decided to end my quest of blogging daily, not just because of Hamza and his inspiring blog, but because I really feel it's the right thing to do. For one, a few community members have stated multiple times a similar call for quality over quantity, and it fell upon deaf ears. I've been very self centered, thinking about how my community blog could benefit me, but not about how the community sees it or if they ever CARE to see it. I've also made posts being a bit upset by lack of views I get, to which some of ye olde timers replied that they just didn't read my blogs as they weren't on all the time, and with such often blogs they were easy to miss (looking at you Elsa.) And on top of all that my blogs as of late have been very lackluster, short and without passion.

So does this mean an end to DimmuJed, or that I'm "quitting or giving up?" Certainly not, writing a blog a day was a bold goal and I did do it for an entire month, but some...most...of the blogs could have been better. Thank you to the people who read them everyday, I know there are one or two of you, even if you didn't always comment. I plan on blogging now at least once or twice a week with blogs that people hopefully will want to read, and comment on. And I'll also be starting up The Music of Video Games again in March sometime, so that will be taking some of my time up.

Thank you for reading, and I hope to blog with you again very soon! Perhaps a review of Catherine when my import copy gets here? Or maybe I'll finally figure out a contest to give away that sweet signed print of The Maw I've been holding onto for far too long...who knows!?!?