This is the FIRST time I've EVER played Altered Beast on a REAL Sega Genesis. No emulation or re-releases here. The real thing, and that's the only reason I'm writing this because I'm sure everyone and their mother has played this at one point or another. Especially if you're my age and you were a Sega Genesis fan back in the day.

I've had a Genesis on and off since about '93 (yeah yeah shut the f*ck up. I was and still am poor.) and I've NEVER actually OWNED this game. Hell, I've never even PLAYED this game in it's true Genesis form. Sure, I have Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection for the Xbox 360, and there are TWO versions of that game. You could technically say I do own it that way, but to me it doesn't really count. I've played it through emulation countless times, though the only time I've ever beaten it is on the arcade version because you can just keep putting in coins and beat the f*cker because I suck at just about every game I play. But me personally, it feels a lot better when I have to have the cartridge sitting there staring at me begging to be played on a controller that actually f*cking WORKS. Yeah Xbox … I'm looking at you with your useless directional pad.



Let's get started with the box. Now box art to me is mostly a lost art. Remember the art to those old games? Oh man, most of them were great weren't they? And Altered Beast is no exception. There's the awesome painted wolf with all the various monsters surrounding him. Basically saying “Yeah, I'm a bad ass.” Then the title of the game in that kickass font. Then at the bottom which was the magic for 1989 “16-BIT CARTRIDGE For use with the Sega Genesis Video Entertainment System”. Hell yes, and even today that still means something to me because there's something about those 16 bit games that was mostly lost once games started heading into the 32 bit era, but that's neither here nor there right now. You turn the box around to check out the screenshots and whatnot and you read :

“Enter a time when men were warriors and Gods ruled the world. A time of good against evil, a place of danger. Summoned by Zeus to rescue Ahtena, you will infiltrate the Underworld with the power to transform into mythical creatures with supernatural strength.”

Level 1 : Become a savage Werewolf and use teeth and nails to shred your enemies to pieces. Capture three of the elusive Spirit Balls and you'll be transformed into a ferocious, fireball throwing werewolf.

Level 2 and 3 : Take flight as a Weredragon and use fiery force to fry the followers of Neff. Creep across slippery crevasses inside a deep cavern as the crafty Werebear.

Level 4 and 5 : Stalk the gates of the Underworld fortress as a maneating Weretiger, a predator with no pity. Inside the inner-sanctum call on Golden Werewolf's might to demolish Neff, the demon – forever.”

Now to me, that is one hell of a good intro the game if you're staring at it at the store shelves. Especially in 1989. You look at those 3 screenshots on the back, and at the time you didn't see anything like it. Compared to what we were used to from the Nintendo and Sega Master System at the time … this was f*cking incredible. Unless you stood the arcade version and this just from those still shots side by side, there was virtually NO difference.

Now, I'm as passionate about the manuals as I am the box art itself. Manuals used to be so incredible, sometimes I'll pop out the manual for a Genesis or Nintendo game and just read THAT. Even if the game is terrible. Now everything is explained in game for the most part and your manual is 4 or 5 pages just telling you what not to do with the disc and what buttons to push.

The manual for this game is pretty cool. You open it up, and while I'm not going to type it all out here … you get a basic rundown of the game overall story and what you're supposed to do with some small, black and white screenshots to guide you along. Even when I was younger, if I had the manual I would read it before I ever popped the game in because I'm just a dork like that. So these little glimpes of the game are great to me. They go through and explain every aspect of the game and describe every level, every transformation, and every enemy. And each enemy is hand drawn with a little paragraph describing what they are what they do. And the “Helpful hints” part at the very back telling you about a few little tricks like “If the Spirit Balls float off screen, they're gone forever.” … no sh*t.

Now that I'm done reading the manual, I take the cartridge out of the case, pop it in the Genesis, (there's no “digging the Genesis out” for me. It's proudly hooked to my TV more often than my 360 is) and turn it on. Grip my 6 button controller in hand because the 3 button is too bulky in my opinion so I always make the second player use it when I can get a friend to play it with me. I hit start and hear the second most famous line to the game “Rise from your grave”. Zeus is on screen telling me I have to save his daughter, and my tombstone rises out of the Earth. Then my character apparently pissed off that HE has to go and get this chick BEATS his way out of it as if to say “Get off your Godly ass and do it yourself!” and the screen starts to scroll slowly to the right and I start beating up zombies and all sorts of other baddies. I collect all the Spirit Balls I need, then eventually meet Neff in his normal form shooting lightning at me. F*cking wuss. Then I hear the line that I will always remember to the day I die. The horrible, almost Double Dribble-speak “Welcome to your doom!”. Ah yeah, sh*t's on.

I'm not going to go through every level of the game, because to be perfectly honest it doesn't change much. You walk to the right beating up monsters and baddies, and you face the end boss. That's about it.

The gameplay in this game is not fast paced by any stretch of the imagination. Hell, it's not even that GOOD to be honest. What holds it for me is that the enemies are very well drawn in that beautiful pixel art. Sure, the graphics have been beaten out, but there's a certain look to Altered Beast and the original Golden Axe I love for some reason. The end bosses, are large and menacing looking until you realize they all have maybe 5 frames of animation total and run off of a strict script that they would likely do whether you were there or not. And did you remember the description from the back of the box about the first form, the Werewolf? I'm not using teeth and nails to shred enemies to pieces you lying bastard!

The sound consists of a few generic explosions and a sound that is apparently your beefed up character hitting so hard he makes a “woosh” sound with the occasional grunt and scream when I constantly die and whatnot, along with “Power. Up!” when you grab one of the Spirit Balls. The few pieces of speech in this game will plant themselves into your soul and you'll never forget them though. The music on the other hand is awesome. From the start of the game it helps you get into it, from the first few notes when Zeus is on the screen to the upbeat “GO GET 'EM! KILL THE F*CKERS!” music that plays when you morph into one of the different forms throughout the game. I even found myself humming it to myself when I was at a club near me drunkenly trying to make my way through the crowd of college kids listening to a sh*tty 80's cover band. I got quite a few weird looks out of that, but oh well.

I did play the arcade game a few times back in the day, and for the time it was incredible for what it was. Great graphics, great story, great sound. Playing it nowadays when you have excellent games like Golden Axe 3, ANY of the Streets of Rage games, The Punisher, etc etc this game hasn't aged very well at all. You have to use a lot of imagination, which is the best way to play this game to me. Imagine yourself as this warrior going through beating the hell out of zombies, leeches, multi-headed wolves and the awesome huge first boss Aggar and you'll be fine. I just got done playing it a few minutes ago and I got killed off by the second level boss, and I plan on hooking up my trusty Game Genie and going through it again cheating my ass off just to get that f*cker Neff. The strange thing is, fighting HIS final form, the bigass rhino lookin' thing is actually the easiest boss in the game to me.

All in all, if you can get the chance to play this in front of a real Sega Genesis, f*ckin' do it. Especially if you have a friend to play it with you, there's very little weirder than seeing a green Werewolf running around shooting fireballs. ;)