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About Me
I'm a recent Master's graduate from Caltech with a degree in Chemistry. I'm currently living in Pasadena, CA, with a degree I don't want to use, trying to break into the game industry. I've been reading Destructoid since June of 2006. I'm a huge Nintendo fanboy, though I spend most of my gaming time on the 360 these days. I've got far too many posts on the forum.

I play all types of games except realistic sports games and real-time strategy games. The former because I think they're boring and the latter because I utterly suck at them.

I've got an Examiner page. That place pays based on hits, comments, and subscriptions, so if you like my stuff, go check that out. If you don't like my stuff, go tell me how awful I am over there!

Games I'm currently playing:
Burnout Paradise (360)
Left 4 Dead 2 (360)
Lego Rock Band (360)
Mass Effect (360)
Modern Warfare 2 (360)
ModNation Racers (PS3)
New Super Mario Bros. Wii (Wii)
Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii)
Valkyria Chronicles (PS3)

Games that are on the back burner:
BioShock (360, need to go back and get the Achievements I missed)
Crush (PSP, I never really think to play my PSP)
Culdcept SAGA (360, the battles just take way too long)
Grand Theft Auto IV (360, it just didn't draw me in like the old games)
Mario Kart Wii (Wii, I just never feel like playing its single player)
Rock Band 2 (360, Just missing one Achievement: Endless Setlist without pausing or failing)
Super Mario Galaxy (Wii, need to complete with Luigi)
Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii, same issue as with Mario Kart)

Games I haven't even touched yet:
Crackdown (360)
de Blob (Wii)
God of War (PS2)
MadWorld (Wii)
Metal Gear Solid 1-3 (PS1, PS2)
Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath (Xbox)
Okami (PS2)
Persona 3: FES (PS2)
Project Gotham Racing 4 (360)
Quantum of Solace (360)
Silent Hill: Shattered Memories (Wii)

Games I have finished 100% during this console generation:
1 vs. 100 (XBLA)
Aegis Wing (XBLA)
Banjo-Kazooie (XBLA)
Bionic Commando: Rearmed (XBLA)
Bomberman Live (XBLA)
Borderlands (360)
Call of Duty 2 (360)
Call of Duty 4 (360)
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (XBLA)
Halo 3 (360)
Fable II: Pub Games (XBLA)
Might & Magic: Clash of Heroes (DS)
Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottom (XBLA)
Modern Warfare 2 (360)
NEVES (DS)
Omega Five (XBLA)
Pac-Man C.E. (XBLA)
Peggle (XBLA)
Penny Arcade Adventures Episode 1 (XBLA)
Penny Arcade Adventures Episode 2 (XBLA)
Picross DS (DS)
Picross 3D (DS)
Professor Layton & the Curious Village (DS)
Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction (PS3)
Ratchet & Clank Future: Quest for Booty (PSN)
Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition (XBLA)
Shadow Complex (XBLA)
skate. (360)
Uno (XBLA)
Worms (XBLA)

Promoted Blogs:
The start of the affair: Earthbound
True stories from Destructoid's E3 Intern Bitch 2008
The FEAR: The Red Ring of Death
Untapped potential: motion control
Checking out Halo 3: ODST through the ODST tour
Improving game communities: gaming together
The wrong thing: the procrastinating protagonist
What will be the last game you ever play?
Teh Bias: The Evolution of Dexter's Bias
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/profil
Battle:
PSN: Dexter345
Mii: 1257 7687 3747 6405
Gamertag: Dexter345
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Three 100-word reviews for free online games
Darren Nakamura | 7:47 PM on 10.25.2009 14 comments




As an application for a writing job elsewhere, I was tasked with playing some free-to-play, pay-for-premium-items games, and then writing up reviews on them. However, in a strange twist, (spurred by, I assume, the potential employer's desire not to spend hours and hours reading reviews) each review was limited to a hundred words.

As it turns out, writing a hundred-word review is tough! For instance, that opening paragraph is already over half the limit. Is it even possible to say everything that needs to be said in a game review in fewer than one hundred words? Read on to see how things turned out.

Pangya Delight
Pangya Delight is the free online version of the popular Japanese golf franchise that marries traditional golf video game timing gameplay with fantastic settings and RPG elements such as character progression, item creation, and guild functionality. It uses the relatively new free-to-play, pay-for-upgrades business model of games popularized by RPGs like Maple Story. As a golf game, it is only slightly more engaging than a more traditional game, where the bizarre courses and obstacles add a bit to the appeal. The most addictive element is definitely the character progression, and for completionists, Pangya Delight would provide hours of play.

Tales of Pirates
Tales of Pirates is a pretty standard MMORPG whose best thing going for it is its relatively unique setting. Rather than the usual knights and wizards, the characters are sailors and pirates. In practice, this doesn’t change much gameplay-wise. Players still click on enemies, watch attacking animations, and collect loot. Tales of Pirates does little to ease the new player into the game. Where other MMORPGs give clear goals, Tales of Pirates presents a very confusing, cluttered HUD, and doesn’t make the tutorial quests obvious. For an MMORPG fan, this game is okay, but for others, it’s not worth it.

Galaxy Online
Galaxy Online is an MMORTS that is simultaneously overly complicated and slow moving. Like the other IGG games, it lacks an intuitive tutorial system for new players, with difficult to find quests and unclear goals. Instructions are very text-heavy and are largely meaningless to anybody but experienced players. Luckily, the online community is relatively strong, and many existing players are willing to help. Regardless, one of the tutorial quests could not be completed, whether due to a bug or user error. The strategy gameplay moves more slowly than more mainstream RTSs, mostly due to the nature of its persistent world.

So as you can see, the answer is no. It's not possible to convey to the reader everything he needs to know about a game. I'll use this space as a bit of an addendum. If you are going to try any of these three games, definitely make it Pangya Delight, unless you are a hardcore MMO fan who is willing to wade through extremely user-unfriendly systems in order to get to the meat of either Tales of Pirates or Galaxy Online. But then, you can't go terribly wrong with any of them, given that they are free. Your only sacrifice for any of the three is download time and hard drive space.

As one final note, isn't it hilarious that apparently the only viable way to advertise your free-to-play online game is with scantily clad anime girls?



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12 comments | showing # 1 to 12
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Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 20:14
Chris Carter
Dexter, who are you applying for, if I may ask?
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 20:24
Darren Nakamura
@Magnalon: It's this semi-shady sounding place called GamesToPlay.tv. Why, do you want to hire me instead?
Atlas's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 20:25
Atlas
I would prefer one hundred three word reviews.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 20:30
Darren Nakamura
@Atlas: "This game sucks." "This game rules." Et cetera.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 21:06
MrSadistic
I never played the first one, but Tales of Pirates is decent. As soon as I booted up Galaxy Online though, I found it to be god-awful.
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2009 21:18
Elsa
Nicely done... it really is much more difficult to write within a short word limit and you did a good job!

... I've not quite acquired that skill yet! :)
Technophile's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2009 00:39
Technophile
Better then I could do that's for sure. I hope they hire you, if that is the job you want.
Atlas's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2009 01:20
Atlas
@ Dex

Amazing cock monsters

Tasty dog soup

Egyptian carpet dancing

etc
Lelio's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2009 06:38
Lelio
Okay so your picture spoiler is the best.
Joseph Leray's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2009 10:18
Joseph Leray
With that much top-boob and under-butt, Galaxy Online is the clear winner.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2009 00:21
Darren Nakamura
Oh Joseph... just try to play the game for ten minutes and see if you still feel the same.
KyleGamgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 02:48
KyleGamgee
Scantily clad!
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