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TruthTalk Episode 666: Violent Videogames and Guns with Guns 2
Destructoid Community Alliance | 11:58 AM on 10.21.2009 6 comments




The following transcription recounts an episode of TruthTalk that had to be scrapped. The topic was an upcoming videogame entitled “Guns with Guns 2.” The episode has been reproduced below in its original, uncensored form for legal reasons. The opinions contained herein do not represent the opinions of TrueNews Media or its advertisers.

[Transcript begins]

Gary Ross:
What hope is there for our world when even the guns have guns? That's the question a new videogame is hoping to answer. Called "Guns with Guns 2," this game has been called by various sources "The most destructive force in the history of entertainment media." Here to talk to us today are Kimberly Sackoff, President of Condoning Ultimately Non-violent Toys, Huck Jennings, State Senator in South Carolina and Chairman of the Youth Outfitting and Killing Education League or “YOKEL Foundation,” and, um, Frank Tallity...it says here that he’s some sort of gaming master and expert with, and I’m just reading the teleprompter here, “more kills than World War II.” Good lord.

Now, it's obvious that you, Kimberly, are the only sane person out of our guests today, so I'll start with you. Feel free to take as much time as you need. Now, why are you here today, Kimberly?

Kimberly Sackoff:
Thank you for having me here Gary. The issue of electronic violence is of the utmost concern to my organization. Video games, or murder simulations as we refer to them, have been statistically proven to increase adrenaline levels in children while simultaneously brainwashing them to embrace violence as an acceptable form of self
expression.

Currently we are targeting games that are part of the so-called “first person shooter” [Transcriber’s note: Ms. Sackoff makes finger quotes while speaking] genre. Clearly these games are meritless pixilated filth with no redeemable qualities whatsoever. It says right in the name, person shooters, these games are designed to teach our children to kill each other, and that is not acceptable in my book.

Frank Tallity:
First off, let me just respond by saying that it's just like you CUNTs [Transcriber’s note: Kimberly is heard off-camera screaming "It's CUNVT!"] to go on talking about something that you know nothing about. Listen...I have played well over 30,000 games in my life, and while I'm not saying that I'm really good at them, I know I could beat most professional gamers out there.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you've already started to toss out lies to further your conservative agenda, but the idea that they're called first-person shooters because you shoot people is fucking stupid. [Moderator attempts to interject unsuccessfully] If you had bothered to learn even a little about games, you'd know that the term talks about a genre where you only control one character. It has nothing to do with killing people. There are, like, tons of first person shooters where you don't even kill anyone. Like, that game Mirror's Edge, which doesn't even have guns in it. You just run on rooftops to save your father from an evil organization. Tell me, how is that violent?

The same goes for Guns with Guns 2. I mean, it's just a game with guns that happen to carry guns. That doesn't mean that they have to shoot each other. You can get through the game without shooting anyone at all. And before you say anything...yes, there's a love scene in it, but it's very tastefully done. The triggers are covered and everything.



Huck Jennings:
Well, I know y'all kids have lost touch with what's important in your fancy cities with your expensive gadgets, but where I come from we know how to entertain ourselves without crossing moral boundaries. I'm not usually one to weigh in on how y'all do things out there in Babylon, but your technology keeps creeping into our towns and offering us the Devil's own poison! I had a Bible salesmen try to sell me a copy of the Good Book on a Kindle yesterday! Stone tablets were good enough for Moses, so I'll be damned appreciative to have paper, thank you very much.

Now, I'm not comfortable with groups of women getting together and speaking their mind, because no good can come of that, but I do agree with Ms. Sackoff that this game needs to be banned…and possibly burned. First of all, it's not that Guns with Guns 2 teaches young men to use guns, it's that it doesn't properly teach our boys to use guns! Just like that damned Guitar Hero keeps kids from learning music, now our kids have no interest in picking up a real 12 gauge or 30-aught or learning how to shoot cans off of broken down cars because of crap like this.

Also, don't try to tell me that the sex scene is "tastefully done", boy. We all know that a wholesome and godly gun relationship is defined as a bond between a man and a firearm, not two firearms! That is both disgusting and logistically improbable! This is an abomination that threatens our moral fiber, our civil liberties, and our ability to defend our good nation.

Gary Ross:
Yes, yes, abomination, I like this, and I hate to interrupt you, but speaking of abominations, I'd like to go against my better judgment and allow Frank Tallity to speak for a very, very brief moment. Now, if you can even follow the discussion with your tiny, game-poisoned brain, I'd like to ask you to tell us why you haven't stopped playing games yet now that they've turned you into an unrepentant, pathetic and childish murderer. Your thoughts?

Frank Tallity:
Oh, I'll show you an abomination. [Transcriber’s note: At this point. Frank leaves his seat briefly and reaches for his trousers before security personnel forcefully place him back in his seat.]

Ahem, OK, fine. Listen, let me answer your question with another question. I have played every Halo game like three times, and I still haven't killed anyone yet. I mean, I could, don't get me wrong...I'd probably be really good at it too, better than most people, I'd say, but I don't want to brag. But, I mean, since Halo basically requires you to find a hiding spot and snipe evil space marines, it's more like a waiting simulator than a game about killing, which is why I don't think those games were very good.

Anyway, it's not like Guns with Guns 2 shows anything that you wouldn't see in real life on the news. Why shouldn't we be able to play a videogame about those situations? If anything, it's just teaching us more about the real world. What's wrong about that? Guns are just people like you and me, even though some of them happen to be stupid. You know what I'm sayin'?



Kimberly Sackoff:
Excuse me, but I have to interject here. It’s obvious that this young man (gestures at frank) doesn't realize the severity of the situation at hand…or how to fashion a coherent thought. Having actually played any of the games he's mentioned has clearly desensitized him to reality, and therefore his judgment is highly suspect.

I also feel that the Senator has missed the point of my agenda completely. Guns and violence have no place whatsoever in our children's lives. We at the CUNVT have concluded that watching any act of violence inevitably leads to violent acts, always.

Now, I have certainly never subjected myself to participating in so-called "gaming" or even viewing the filth in question, but I don't have to actually play a game to know when it’s a threat to our cause. The CUNVT won't rest until the last gun game has been banned and the last violent toy abolished. It may be too late for Mr. Tallity and his ilk, and indeed it is many years too late for Senator Jennings to renounce his evil ways, but the future generations deserve our utmost scrutiny and security if they are to become productive and passive citizens.

Huck Jennings:
Yes! The future generations do deserve the utmost scrutiny and security! This is why we must introduce our youth to guns, real guns, at as early an age as possible. God will provide the scrutiny for our immortal souls, but God helps those who help themselves. This means we have to give our children the ability to provide for their own security. I don't know if they tell you this on Montel or not, Ms. Sackoff, but we are at war. And we ain't gonna win that war with doilies and book clubs where you all agree with Oprah's latest recommendation.

Letting children play violent shooters at age 13 or 14 means that we can lure, I mean recruit, them into the military in about 5 years. As young Mr. Tallity here proves, when a child is willing to let imaginary people tell him where to go, what to do, and who to kill, they will definitely let a real human tell them. Violent games help breed the perfect soldiers. Just look at him! Single-minded, yet weak willed and moldable. These are the men who will ignore their own moral misgivings and sense of self-preservation to ensure that godless, malcontented soccer-moms like Ms. Sackoff here have the comfort and freedom they need to continue pecking away at the very fabric of their own security.

I still maintain, however, that there's no substitute for the real thing. Guns carrying guns don't kill people…I do…with guns...big ones too… (Transcriber’s note: At this point, Mr. Jennings bows his head and begin to speak very quietly.) The Lord is my Kevlar, I shall not want. He maketh me to use hollow-point shells while hunting because deer are communists.



Gary Ross:
Now, wait a second Mr.—

Frank Tallity:
[cutting in] All right, I've had about enough of your shit, Huck. More like Fuck, am I right? Yeah? [Transcriber’s note: There is silence in the studio for about fifteen seconds.]

But seriously. You may be my elder and all that shit, but you, sir, are, without a doubt, a noob. I mean, honestly, I know more about the world than you do, and you have the shriveled-up sack to call me single-minded? My morals are fine, sir.

It's a fact that no videogame player has ever killed another human being. That's a fact. And Guns with Guns 2 isn't going to change that. Sure, it may make us want to burn down rainforests with a flamethrower, but it's not like we'd be killing anything. People who play video games are harmless, unlike people from your generation. Heh, I bet you're so old that you fought against the French in Napoleon's army. Me? I just played and beat and got all the achievements for all of the Dynasty Warriors games. Same war, only mine didn't kill anyone. It just made my PS3 red ring because those things are pieces of shit. So who’s the asshole now?

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but even though that CUNT lady over here is ignorant, sheltered, idealistic, and kind of a cu—uh, bitch, at least she isn't fucking Abraham Lincoln. I mean, come on, that guy was a total gun-toting asshole, right?

Kimberly Sackoff:
[Addressing Frank] How dare you! You little shit, I'm trying to make the world a safer, better place for horrible little cretins like yourself. I have actual scientific evidence that suggests that violent videogames might potentially influence young minds. This is hard science. You cannot argue with science and morality. What part of "suggests" or "potentially" do you not understand?

The threat is real and unless the guns in Guns with Guns 2 are immediately changed to something else the CUNVT will be boycotting the game and all future games published by the game's maker. I hope for your sake that your parents read the propaganda, uh, pamphlet I sent them before the show and that all parents who care about their children's futures go to our website and pledge to join our cause. As it stands, video games are the single biggest contributor to violence in our society. Statistically nearly every child who has committed a violent act has been found to own a videogame. This is no far fetched coincidence my friends.



[Translator’s note: At this point, Gary motions to the booth to turn the cameras off. The guests begin to shout simultaneously at the cameras.]

Frank Tallity:
Bitches don't know shit! Both of you just need to shut up and pick up a controller. I'll kick all of your asses. You hear me? I'm the motherfucking Mahmoud Ali of gaming, and I...I'm a gaming butterfly and shit! I'll kick all of your asses at home too! Tallity out! [Transcriber’s note: Mr. Tallity knocks over his glass of water and exits the studio quickly, grasping his hand to his chest.]

Kimberly Sackoff:
Remember, if we allow games like this to poison our youth we'll have a nation of degenerates and thugs. Any loving parent will make the right choice and sign up today. Don’t listen to the opinions of idiots! Just listen to me!

Huck Jennings:
I don't want to see violent games removed from our children's lives, but I want to ensure they're also being exposed to other more enriching experiences as well. That's why I've taken $32 million of the taxpayers' money to develop Wii Fit for Heaven: Genuflection, which uses the pressure sensors in the balance board to ensure that you've been on your knees praying for the appropriate amount of time. Buy it today!

[Transcript ends]


Cast of Characters:
Zodiac Eclipse: Kimberly Sackoff
Walkyourpath: Huck Jennings
Kauza: Frank Tallity, Narrator

Do you want to be involved in the next Destructoid Comminity Alliance post? Just get in contact with one of us!

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