“I don’t want to be friends with her anymore.” A statement like that can go one of two ways. It could mean, “I don’t want to be just friends with her anymore. I want us to live happily ever after together once she realizes what a great guy I am and how perfect we’ll be together”. Or it could mean “I don’t want to be friends with her anymore, period.”

I don’t want to be friends with her anymore. Period.

Granted, 6 months ago I may have gone the other route. Back then, I could turn character flaws into cute personality quirks. An unkind word was erased by a soft smile. It was easy because hey, she‘s a beautiful woman...with the grace of a Ferrari plowing though a rose garden, leaving destruction in her wake. For most of us, there are consequences to our actions. This isn’t like the PS3’s latest driving simulation, Gran Turismo 5: Prologue, where you can slam into a wall at 150mph and bounce off of it like nothing happened. Where, in a multicar pileup, only the player gets spun like a top while the others involved just drive merrily away like nothing ever happened. Actually, maybe her world really is like GT5:P, because, no matter what the carnage around her is, she manages to motor through like it wasn’t even there. I used to see that as a virtue. Look how strong and confident she is. Nothing can faze her. But things should faze you. Some things, even little things, should give you pause. Because it shows you care.

I realized a long time ago that I wouldn’t be getting a hug, much less a hand job out of this. I accepted that. You learn to move on. It’s a skill you have to master to make it through life. Everything isn’t going to come out perfect. Ford will never bring back the Crown Victoria. Sony won’t add more than a lobotomized form of online play to Gran Turismo 5:Prologue. There won’t ever be a sequel to ‘Two Lane Blacktop’. These are things you learn to accept. Once that is done, you can open your eyes and see past the pretty surfaces. At some point she’s gone from a fun, smart, beautiful woman, to a bitter, shallow, beautiful woman. And I'm beginning to realize that sometimes, beautiful just isn’t enough.

She tries to offset the snide remarks coming from her lips by reminding you how ‘insecure’ she is. As if putting the right word behind ugly actions makes it ‘ok’. Printing the word ‘Prologue’ on the fifth generation of Sony’s famous racer doesn’t forgive it for lacking even the simplest of car customization options. Adding a Side Salad to a Big Mac combo meal doesn’t make it healthy. Tacking a Mustang II badge on the tail of an overweight Pinto doesn’t make it worthy of the name. Labels don’t excuse what’s there. And they don’t excuse what’s missing.

It’s not possible to be “too good looking”. The problem is, it’s too easy to get swept up in it, for everyone involved. A wise man once said, “If you ever see a beautiful, stunning, drop dead gorgeous woman and she looks way out of your league, just remember that somewhere there’s some guy who’s sick of putting up with her shit.”


Score: 6/10