Everybody always talks about their “desert island” picks – you know, the whatever-certain-number of entertainment products you could take with you if you were gonna be stranded on a desert island. The implication, of course, being that these would be the only entertainment you’d have access to ever again, so you better pick something you really like.

This scenario doesn’t really hold water when you stop and think about it, especially when it comes to video games. Ignoring, for the moment, the fact that you’d have no idea you were about to be indefinitely marooned (and therefore have no reason to pack your ultimate entertainment package), there’s the little matter of electricity to consider. What, are you gonna be powering your games with coconut juice?



So, as an alternative, slightly more realistic set-up for what is really just a way to force people to pick an arbitrary number of their favorite things, I’m going with the post-apocalyptic underground vault instead. This handily solves both logistical problems (if you’re planning well enough to have an underground vault you obviously have advanced warning, and you’d better have electricity unless you plan on devolving into a bat-like creature) and is video-game-appropriate, as the Fallout series has kept bomb shelters pop-culturally relevant.



Still, this isn’t any fun without any pointless rules and stipulations, so here goes:

1. Only one (1) console allowed. You can bring all necessary cords, controllers, etc, but no more than one system. This includes handhelds.
2. Only five (5) physical games are allowed. You can count multiple discs as one, but only if they originally came in one case, sold as one product.
3. As a concession to the modern age of digital distribution, you can pick one downloadable game as a bonus freebie, on the assumption that it was already on the hard drive when Skynet fought back.

With the ground rules established, it becomes a question of what do we pick, and why. Obviously we want games with plenty of replay value, as these are going to keep us entertained for the rest of our lives. You’d also want your picks to be diverse, genre-wise, so you’d be covered no matter what type of gameplay you were wanting.

So, without further ado, here are my Post-Apocalyptic Vault video game picks.

System:
60 Gb PlayStation 3

In real life I’m not a PS3 owner, but for purposes of this question, it’s the only system that lets me take both current-gen titles and my much-beloved PS2 games. Plus, there’s bound to be a lot of dust and grit in a bomb shelter, so the incredible durability of Blu-Ray discs will definitely come in handy.

Games:
1. Fallout 3
This might seem like a cheap choice given the vault thing, but taking Fallout 3 would actually make sense for a couple of reasons. First, the amount of time you can put into this game is truly ridiculous (especially if you grant that the nuclear war won’t come between now and October, and let this be the GOTY edition with all DLC included), so it’s definitely going to keep you busy for a while.

Second, the gruesome slow-mo kills of the VATS system would give me a safe way to get out all the anger and frustration that’s bound to arise from being stuck in a concrete basement from now till Judgement Day.

Third, and most importantly, everyone knows that Fallout 3 is an intricately researched, infallibly accurate, almost documentary-esque depiction of exactly what would happen in the aftermath of a nuclear exchange. Having the game in the vault with me would give me the ultimate “cheat sheet” to living in the irradiated wastes, so I could practice and plan to my heart’s content before venturing out into the danger first-hand.



2. The Orange Box
Orange Box gets picked just on sheer diversity alone. For starters, you’ve got Portal, one of the cleverest, most-replayable games of all time. The fact that most of the game’s puzzles have multiple solutions will keep it from getting as old, and worse comes to worst we could just play around with the mind-bending portal physics. Plus, you can’t over-estimate the humor value, as I bet laughs will be few and far between down there.



Half-Life 2 and its Episodes deliver some of the best story-based shooter action ever, so it’s hard to discount them. They also change up the gameplay style so often that I can count it as covering multiple genres at once: survival horror (Ravenholm), squad tactics (Follow Freeman), and physics-based sandbox fun (pretty much the whole thing, but especially once your Gravity Gun can pick up people).

Team Fortress 2 is kind of dead weight in a scenario that precludes an internet connection, but the value the other four games on the disc bring to the table cements a place for Orange Box in my picks.

3. Rock Band 2
Life’s gonna be hard after the bombs fall. Stuck down in our concrete home, I’m sure there’ll be times when it all feels futile, like life’s just too depressing to go on. At times like these, there’s nothing like cranking Motley Crue’s “Kickstart My Heart” up to maximum volume and nailing the solo on Expert.



It’s a social game that’ll keep my neighbors happy too (remember, I said you could bring all the controllers you needed – even if they’re drum kit-shaped), and more importantly, it’ll remind us of the power of music when life seems as bleak as possible. And perhaps most importantly, far in the future, when mankind’s very continuation seems in question, this might be the only way to preserve The Presidents’ “Lump” for future generations, and if that’s not a goal worth fighting for then I don’t know what is.

4. We <3 Katamari
This was a tough choice: the original Katamari Damacy, or the sequel, We <3 Katamari? Both would deliver a lifetime supply of bright, colorful, Japanese-style wackiness, which you’d definitely want as the days, months, and years started to blur together into a slate-grey waking nightmare.

While the first one was more unique and definitely wins in the soundtrack department (which almost clinched it), in the end I went with the sequel, for its much more diverse levels and objectives. Plus, the game’s snowy stage will be crucial for teaching our children the difference between regular winter and nuclear winter.



5. Persona 4
So far my genre diversity is pretty good, at least as far as my personal favorite genres are concerned. I’ve got FPS, horror, puzzle, rhythm, Japanese insanity, and morally-ambiguous Western-style RPGs all covered. The only real gaping hole there is the good old fashioned JRPG, and I can’t think of one I’d rather play forever than Persona 4.

It’s a great game on so many levels (combat, story, music), but the biggest factor that made me pick it is the huge amount of freedom the game allows in terms of developing your character’s personality and relationships. I could easily play through the game a dozen times or more, with different choices and different outcomes each time. Bonus: the game would remind me what it was like to meet new people and slowly develop a close bond with them, instead of having to deal with the same handful of people I’ve lived with since the vault sealed.



Bonus: Final Fantasy VII
If there’s one thing I anticipate being in short supply in the vault, it’s comfort. All these games will fight off the melancholy that’s bound to arise sooner or later, but sometimes you want to play a game that feels like wrapping up in a thick warm blanket. A game that’s so buried in the nostalgia centers of your brain that just seeing the opening cinematic is like getting a hug from your mom. That game is, of course, FFVII.

Never mind the fact that it’s been beaten to death by the industry, both by Square themselves (with the disastrously-received “Anthology of FFVII”) and by the legion of fans, journalists, and industry insiders who have discussed it ad naseum over dozen years since it first released.

Despite all this, it still gives me the deep-down tinglies to boot up and run through the adventures of Cloud and Co. Any game that can give me that feeling in the face of the apocalypse is worth having on the hard drive.



So there it is, the game collection I’d be grabbing for when I heard the air-raid sirens start going off (Ooh, air raid sirens! I forgot Silent Hill! Oh well, too late now). Now I put the challenge to you, good Destructoidians: what games would you want to play for the rest of your lives?