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I, the Author: Dwarf Fortress Super Happy Fun Time
Dead Movie Star | 9:55 PM on 07.07.2009 5 comments



It is the 6th of Felsite, 203, late spring, and the outpost Nomalozkak is about to be destroyed.

Why? Well, there are a few reasons:

1. Of the surrounding civilizatons, only one of the three are friendly. They are Elves.

2. I do not own a single anvil, meaning I dug all those magma tunnels for nothing.

3. No migrants have arrived, and even if they did there would not be enough resources to sustain them properly.

4. With a pull of a lever I can flood the fortress with magma and I see no reason not to.


But first, preparations. If these dwarves are going down, they are going down with style. As you would imagine the first step to total destruction would be to build a bridge near a staircase, close to the food stockpile. While the architect is tending to that, I shall make sure everything is in place for operation hot scorched dwarf loving.


Here you see the magma pool, currently directed to a grid under where the metal workshops should have been...


... and a lever that opens floodgate to said magma pool. There is also a floodgate below in the living quarters.


To keep the magma from seeping into the lower levels, a floor is to be build over the downward staircase along with some walls to protect all the empty rooms from hot magma.


Uh-oh, my diglett dwarf seems to have gotten traped when I told him to remove all those pesky up staircases. My bad, dwarf.


Looks like the bridge is done. Good work, everyone. The means it is time to order every dwarf inside and to raise the drawbridge.

Very nice, indeed. Now, onto the dwarf atom smasher... I mean the bridge that was just built.


Yay, it works! However, it is not a very effective killing machine. Yet.


Way to get stuck, dwarves, now I am down to three able bodies to help end everyone's life. Have fun starving.


What do you mean I can't put a pressure switch under a bridge? Then how will dwarves get smashed to a pulp?

Fine. Plan B time.

Plan B:




































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5 comments | showing # 1 to 5

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Mr Kite's Destructoid Blog
Fuck yeah, way to stick to them bitches. I have not a clue about Dwarf fortress but could you have lured the enemies into your fortress and then flooded it?

How long did it take for you to learn to play dwarf fortress?
El Nicko's Destructoid Blog
......What?
Tubatic's Destructoid Blog
In my mind, I set that photo montage at the end to the same music from the Behemoth Game 3 trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZ9yTc-x0xs

Bravo.
Dead Movie Star's Destructoid Blog
@Mr. Kite
There were no enemies to kill, only dwarves.

Also, it really takes about a week to learn the basics.

@Tubatic
Amazing.
Solgrim's Destructoid Blog
I need to play this game.


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Game's I've made once or twice in the past:

Chad Punches Old Ladies: in the Face
Chet: Warrior of the Arctic
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