Yeah, that picture up there pretty much sums up what I'm doing in the blog. I just feel like I gotta write some shit down, you know? I haven't properly written something in quite some time, and since school has started again, and GT English is hard, I might as well get in the flow of writing again. Plus, I feel like making a blog about video games. Go Figure.

Back To School

This week was the return of school, and I'm a Junior. One more year, and I can say good-by to Texas schooling, and hello to Boston or Califorian learning in college, but enough about that, what's the hype with games?



When I mention Brutal Legend, a lot of people put their fingers on their heads, and go, "Oh wait, that game with Jack Black?", and when I respond that they are in fact correct, most go, "Yeah, that looks hot." Which is more than what I can say for Psychonauts, in which I just got a lot of blank stares as I explained the premise of that game. Overall, I like the response I'm getting, and maybe, for our school newspaper, if we can get out a review for Brutal Legend, maybe we can convince some other people to give the game a try. Which, would be good. Really good.



I get a lot more split-second responses when I mention Borderlands though, which means either of 2 things:

Changing the art style has brought a whole shitload of customers for Gearbox

-or-

People knew about this shit before.

Either way, it's nice to see some excitement from the next to months for games. Maybe with that PS3 price drop, I can actually have people I know in real life on my PS3 instead of just Dtoiders. No offense guys, but I have friends in real life too.

On Shadow Complex: KindaSortaNotReally Rant

First Off, I don't have a 360. I really want one though, but until then, I'm going to have to mooch off friends and Gamestop before I take another plunge and buy my second 360. Because Shadow Complex looks hot.

But there has been a lot of controversy surrounding Shadow Complex, all stemming from it's Kinda-Co-Writer, Orson Scott Card. Now, I know, Card is a dick when it comes to certain subjects, including homosexuality, and yeah, what kind of last name is Card anyways, but really, the subject matter of Shadow Complex is based off of one of his books. And that's pretty much it.



The story of Shadow Complex is written by Peter David, who apparently wrote some of the Hulk comics. I didn't know that last part, but I have read one of the Hulk comics he wrote, and it was good stuff. He's going to get some good cash off of this game's earnings.

This game uses the Unreal Engine 3, by Epic. Epic, and Cliffy, are going to make absurd amounts of money from this title. That's how Epic Games rolls, guys. I wish I could work for them. I hear Cliffy is a pretty cool bro.

Shadow Complex is an Xbox Live exclusive. Microsoft is going to take some of the absurd amounts of money Epic will make, and make Absurd amounts of money with it. It's also how MS rolls. The greedy bastards.

And then there is Orson Scott Card, who, knowing Microsoft and Epic Games, will make less than chump change on his games. He probably won't complain, money is money, and he's follow up books, as well as the Ender's Game movie will probably make up for whatever losses he might make with how Shadow Complex's earnings are handled.

When I get a 360, I'm going to buy Shadow Complex. Orson Scott Card is a writer and a public speaker who writes books for a specific audience and speaks for one just as specific. No amount of money (whether you, me, or the unsuspecting public who probably could really care less) we give him is going to make him any more threat than he is now. Which is pretty minuscule, since this is the first time we are actually talking about him since forever. All he's getting that could potentially melt some ice is free publicity.

And I don't even think he knows about it yet.

Spring 2010

What happened?

What sick bastard decided to tell all the video game companies that Modern Warfare 2 is going to be THAT much of a blowout and they should sell their games in the Spring? Why would you do something like that? WHY?

Ok, Ok, I know, MW2 is some big stuff, but to tell you the truth, I was perfectly ready to drop whatever is left in my leftover account on games this Christmas. MW2, Brutal Legend, Borderlands, Bayonetta, hell, even fucking A Boy and His Blob, and I don't even have a Wii. And a whole lot else I can't seem to remember at the moment right now, because the list was honestly, really big.

Now I gotta wait for some of the titles to drop in 2010. Well, least I'm getting Scribblenauts soon. That should hold me.



Last And Not Least

I'm going to stop selling my games.

It's something I've wanted to do ever since I started buying games, until I found out you could trade them in for money, or sell them to inspecting suckers on the corner. Ever since I got my Gamecube, I've been able to buy a respectable amount of games at least every 2 months (1 or 2, to be politically correct). By that math (I got my Gamecube in '02), I should have a collection of, 42 to 84 games, comprised of various PS2, Gamecube, and DS titles, including Freekstyle, SSX Tricky, Mario Kart Double Dash, Star Wars Battlefront 2, and Luminous Ark.

I have 10 games, 6 PS3 titles, 2 PS2 titles, and 2 DS titles. This does not count games bought on PSN or through Steam.

What happened to my Gamecube? It resides at my Uncles house, where it gathers dust next to the Phat PS2 that is used exclusively for Guitar Hero. Most of my Gamecube titles were sold to create money for my Launch 360 and Kameo: Elements Of Power, which went away when I wanted to get money for the Warranty for my PS3. I still have the box for The Legend Of Zelda: Wind Waker, though the disk is, well kept at another cousins house. They framed it. How nice.

The list on my profile bar is horribly outdated and needs to be updated as well. It makes me sad to look at all that stuff I used to have.

So yeah, I'm going to start trying to keep the games I buy, starting with Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner 2. I don't get that game, I can't get into it for the love of me, but still, it'll make me look more like a collector and not like a guy who sells everything for quick cash.

Except for LittleBigPlanet. I fear that game might not stick with me for long, and if I need a new one, there's that Game Of The Year Edition with all that nifty DLC in it. And Water.

They love this as well.

The upcoming months are going to be some of the most exciting months in gaming history.

This year’s Electronic Entertainment Expo was, in my honest opinion, the best in a few years. Nearly every company had something exciting to show us, and even the disappointing conferences weren’t that disappointing (ok…maybe Square-Enix). The fans where let back in, the booth babes came back, and you could smell it in the air, even if you where watching it on TV hundreds of miles away from L.A., that a bunch of gamers were in need of a new pair of pants. Man, I wish I could have gone to E3, I would be happy to lend those guys some shorts, but alas, I’m here, typing out to you my impressions on this year’s Expo.

Needless to say, I was happy.



Let’s begin the general Big 3 run down, starting off with Nintendo, and their impressive DS/Wii lineup. Oh woe was last year, as gamers alike cried in anguish at the horrible presentation that was given to them. No core titles, none of the familiar titles, just a whole bunch of Wii-headliners, and not much else. Enter E3 09, when Nintendo redeems themselves with some big drops. Golden Sun DS, Metroid: Other M (By Team Ninja, none the less. Bring on the Girls!), New Super Mario Bros. Wii, Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Now with more Yoshi!), not to mention other titles, such as the now exciting looking Wii Sports Resort (Packaged with Motion+), Scribblenauts, Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box (evil box heads, unite!) Mario and Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story, Sin & Punishment 2, and of course, the concept art of the next Legend of Zelda, now with Motion+ Support. And the Vitality sensor, which, if used properly (and you can bet there will be at least one game that does it right), can really bring some new enhancements to gaming on Nintendo’s White (and Black) Box.



Of course, we also have your Red Steel 2, which is looking to be infinitely better than the first, Rabbids Go Home, which is looking to be one of those Wii games which has one of those modes you could just spend months on (talking about customizing your Rabbid inside a WiiMote, of course), The Conduit, Gladiator A.D., The Grinder (man, High Voltage just churns out them Wii games), the recent announcements of Fragile and Tatsunoko vs. Capcom, both of which were previously not coming to the States, and don’t forget WiiWare, with its Cave Story Wii, BIT.TRIP Core, and Bit Boy. Overall, I believe Nintendo had an excellent showing at E3; they definitely stepped up the games the core audience wants, and games I can have fun with. The money for my soon-to-be Wii can’t come soon enough.



Next up is Microsoft, which pleased me greatly as well. First and foremost, we finally got something on Alan Wake, and while it might not look impressive to the masses, the narration going on in-game almost makes me think that I’m playing a game about a person writing a horror novel…about righting a horror novel (that comes to life). Meta doesn’t being to describe this, and the game looks excellent as well, with its focus on lighting. Expect trippy light based puzzles and boss battles.

Of course, you have your Halo: ODST, which does looks to improve on the money-maker that is Halo 3. Now that you play a human, looks like you won’t be able to jump 50 feet in the air, (or dual wield, or have enhancements), but hey, the old Halo 1 pistol is back. It’s fucking time to drop, bitches. If not, you’ve always got Modern Warfare 2; while not exclusive…do I really need to say anything? It’s fucking Infinity Ware; it’s fucking Modern Warfare, it's fucking snowmobiles. You were going to buy it regardless if it was a Zune HD exclusive game. But if that's not your cup of tea either (you freak of nature), ODST has a multiplayer beta invite for Bungie's new Halo: Reach, now with 100% more Spartans, guaranteed or your money back.

Not Really.



The Beatles Rock Band is going to be a must have for me. I don’t know about the Beatles themselves, as I’m not that much of a fan, but the way the game looks, plus the fucking tripped out dream sequences, and the badass looking, “I could have sex with that” instrument peripherals have sold me on a purchase. It’s time I finally got into owning a copy of Rock Band myself, I really need to jump on that NIN and Coheed and Cambria DLC anyways.



But we all know the real showstopper was Natal. From the incredibly slick menu integration, to the 3D space cameras, to the instant scanning, to Skyne...ahem, excuse me, Milo being fucking scary and yet interesting, Natal is going to be some serious shit to contend with. I’m sold on menu integration alone, all I need now is to re-buy an Xbox 360.



Now, let’s talk Sony.First off, I don’t like the PSP Go, it looks way to ugly for my tastes, but I’m glad they're moving away from UMD, semi-glad at least, I won’t be able to do my yearly hand-me-down to my cousins, since I always give them awesome shit I don’t play anymore (I had to part ways with Wind Waker, really depressing, since I secretly kept the box), but hey, if I go out to buy a PSP, I know what games I’ll be getting: Jack and Daxter: Lost Frontier, Pixel Junk Monsters Deluxe, Echochrono, Half Minuet Hero, Rock Band: Unplugged, and, if I can find one, a copy of Burnout Legends, so EA can port Burnout Paradise to the PSP.

On the PS3 side, we got the admittedly fun looking ModNation Racers, which I hope becomes something new for me. I didn’t really like having to shift through the trash on LBP to find some good levels, so let’s hope thinking "racing levels" make things easier for people. Then there was The Last Guardian, which looks really fucking amazing, and I really wanna get my hands on it…now. And of course, God of War 3, which look incredibly fun. I need to get my hands on that game too.



We saw some MAG, which proves the 256 player thing can work, and I hope that when it drops, we can get the Destructoid Community together and wreck havoc among the world of MAG. We shall unite, we shall fight, and we shall conquer. Uncharted 2 looks simply delicious, I just hope it doesn’t have that weirdo ending like the first one did. Also, to my surprise, Heavy Rain looks really, really damn deep, although, I know when I play, everyone is going to die, and I can’t wait to see what happens after that, as apparently, the game keeps going after all the main characters are killed.



There are the new Metal Gear Solid titles, and at least I’m hoping for Rising to ease up on the story and produce something fun. I would have really have liked to see another Ac!d, and I liked the PSP title strangely enough, but hey, Kojima is a cock teasing bitch. Where’s my Boktai, you sick twisted fuck?

And Final Fantasy XIII, you say? Who gives a shit; it’s all about Final Fantasy XIV. I was a little excited…and now it’s an MMO. Oh well. Maybe they can produce something that doesn’t include bosses that take countless hours to spawn, and upwards of 24 hours to beat (I know they’ve been nerfed, but it shouldn’t have happened in the first place). Hopefully, and I’ll start believing in the power of the Holy Ghost if this comes true, but hopefully, it’ll be free to play, and if not, it better have one amazing free month of play, or mark my words, Square, and mark them well; I will not buy Versus XIII, IF IT EXISTS, since we saw close to nothing this year. TGS? Maybe…but I don’t want to wait that long, gotta make a decision quick, FFXIII or Vs XIII. My money hinges on this meng….



Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about Sony’s motion controller stuff as well. I wasn’t really impressed, but it does look nice. I just don’t trust Sony to follow through on the games. I mean, the Playstation Eye by itself has Eye of Judgment (FUCK THAT NOISE, I’m sticking with MTG), and….not much else. If Sony or someone else can get some good shit on that stuff, I’d be willing to make a few sacrifices…not really, but hey, money is money, whether it’s from me or from my Grandmother, Sony wants it.



Lastly, the announcements that I just want to single out by themselves. Let’s start with Left4Dead 2, which I, personally, am glad it’s coming out on disk. I haven’t bought Left4Dead, which means I’d have to buy the game in the first place, and then wait for close to 6 hours for the game and its massive updates finish downloading on my PC. The same time, I could have downloaded the complete Eureka 7 and its movie in Full HD.



Moving on, the Facebook/Twitter on the 360 deal means the hipsters (and Destructoid) can finally not move to update they’re bliggity blogs/facey pages. I would have personally wanted some Tumblr, even though it’s the most Apple-Fanboy accented blogging service in the universe, it’s much nicer than what Twitter has to offer, in my opinion (that, and Workman has a Tumblr). But fuck all of that, Last.fm? Hell yes, one step closer to having all internet radio available for stream while playing games. Imagine what if Burnout Paradise had a real live radio station instead of the in game one. Bliss, I say, true bliss.



Then there’s Bayonetta. Gunna have LOTS of fun with that game, especially with the fact that it seems like her hair makes up her clothes, and spells, and the irony in killing angels. It’s like playing Dante’s Inferno…inverted…and with tall and hotness…



Spirit Tracks looks amazing. I don’t care what anyone says, we need more Toon Link. We need more hilarious expressions on his too-fucking-cute face. We need more hilarious situations for the unlucky motherfucker to end up in, and Japan needs more Tetra/Mini Zelda fan service…I mean, Japan (and the US) needs online multiplayer train cannon battles. You don’t know how sick that would be. Please make this exist, Spirit Tracks, please.



Brutal Legend. I’m not a total Jack Black fanatic, but I need for him to high-pitch scream once in game, and I’ll buy 60 copies. His metal scream is godly, in my opinion. That, and Tim Schafer. Fucking damnit, I need this game….



And finally, Starz, and it’s awesomeness to bring Gurren Lagann, as well as other hit anime, to PSN. Hell, a lot of other services are bring stuff to PSN Video (ADV and hopefully Elfen Lied, Viz and hopefully Big O, and maybe Bones will sign on some more stuff…like Eureka 7...), but damnit, I watched half of Gurren Lagann a few weeks ago, and I WANT MORE.



And there you have it. It’s going to be an exciting 2009/2010, technology growing, games getting better, and overall, fun’s making its big comeback. This year’s E3 has got me so happy, I randomly brake out in smiles now. From Nintendo and it’s slew of games making their way onto the Wii and DS, to Microsoft and Sony first steps into new and exciting control schemes, to Gurren Lagann, the only thing that could make this better is if I somehow landed a high paying job to pay for all the new shit I want to get.

So…anybody know anyone who’s hiring? I need to make bank.

That's right everyone, the steampunk themed, free MMO is getting into its closed beta phase with this new Golden Ticket fiasco. Can't say I'm surprised, this is Atlus. Could of guess they liked Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory.

NeoSteam; The Shattered Continent is the first endeavor for Atlus Online, based upon an old outing of the MMO formaly known as NeoSteam Global. Now, after its announcement late last year, Atlus has let out plans for letting people in the closed beta for the MMO. Starting today, it's as simple as a random email contest; you get an email with the Golden Ticket, you win a trip to Willy Wonka's...err, you win access into the closed beta. Just be signed up to Atlus Online and you should be good to go.

I'm really looking forward to this MMO. One of the things I'm most excited about it the rumored ability to pay for "Real Life Cash" items with points you earn, possibly from playing the game, or frequenting the forums. That alone has sold me on a "I gotta fucking check this out." Plus, it'll get me to start forum posting again, and I don't really do that anymore, except to get Pokemon. Hey, gotta make sacrifices in the name of BIGCOCKZARD.

Oh yeah, and did I mention the MMO is steampunk themed? Gears, Trains, Zepplins, Elf's with wrench's, and lots of the gaseous form of water are looking to make it into this MMO. Even these cute little beings called Pom's are getting it on with large beards and brown clothing and the rumored ability to punt them like footballs. Oh yes...

So, if you're interested in NeoSteam, go ahead and sign up for Atlus Online. Since this is closed beta, it probably won't be long off until we get into open beta/official release anyway.

[via Atlus Online Forums

“05-26-20XX

[insert name of next of kin here]
[insert address of next of kin here]


Dear [insert next of kin name here],

We are sorry to inform you of [insert deceased soldier here]’s untimely death in the service of the [insert name of faction here]’s fight for [insert cause for fighting here]….”

It would probably start something like that, an informative letter to inform you that that your little worthless henchmen/soldier for the “evil” army I whole heartedly dismembered without any remorse, what so ever, has died. I mean, c’mon the loser was attacking me. What the hell was I supposed to do, just stand there and take it? (Hell no, is the correct answer, if you were wondering.)

But I’m not writing this to degrade your failure of a son/alien freak; I’m writing this to the parents of said son/alien freak, who raised the now dead son of a bitch. And if the parents aren’t alive to read this, well hell, the world's a better place...And I didn’t take into account that such an idiot would have siblings….



First of all, what the hell went through the mind of you guys while you we’re getting busy, huh? “Oh, when we have a child, let's turn it into a useless kill statistic for some hot-shot gun toting hero who can actually aim worth a shit.” What kind of parenting is that? If it were me, I’d set the kid up with a Gameboy Color and some Cheetos, like a normal child, and not condemn him to death because the “Deceased” pay plan is good.

But if you absolutely must, at least have the little porker trained to fight before you send him out to yours truely. Little idiot didn’t even pay any sort of attention when I blew about six or seven shot gun shells in his back, and then knifed the fucker in the neck, in which he then proceeded to scream in agony like the retard he is. I mean, even my own teammates are pretty retarded at times, but hell, at least they know to duck out of the line of fire after getting shot a couple times, unlike your worthless offspring. He must love the smell of lead up his ass, huh?



Speaking of love (not really), what the fuck did you feed this kid? Why the hell is your kid so fucking super human, yet so fucking dumb? I’d love to know the diet you had this dumbass on, because if anyone can take a couple of well placed samurai sword slices to the chest and not come out with a scratch on him, you must have done something right. But gee, do you think you can put more effort into learning the kid some common sense instead of all of it going to personal health care? Wait, what am I saying, your little tyke is already dead; you’ve gone and fucked it up before it even started.

Cripes man, the guy didn’t even have any friends when I met him. I don’t know if I shot ‘em all or something, but, there he was, all lonely and crap. I shot him dead anyways, but it made me feel a little sad on the inside. Hell, even I have friends that back me up and show me where to go, and I even help them get back on their feet. Did you shelter this kid so much he didn’t have friends? Was he an obnoxious fatty-mc-fat-fat because of all that nutritious food you fed him? Or did he just suck at life, and even if he did, wouldn’t you help the man get some game? Don’t leave a kid hanging with no game, set him up with some Santana DVX or some shit, Jesus.



I guess what I’m trying to convey here in this, hopefully thought provoking letter, is that don’t try shit like this again, it’s just not right. Don’t be a dick, have sex, raise a clinically brain dead idiot who’s built like a tank, send him off to evil corporations who honestly do not require his services, let him do the training program that won't prepare him for the onslaught that shall be my wrath, let him write letters about how he’s going to be some sort of war hero and swat down the oppression, and please, for the love of everything that is right with the world, know that I’m done killing jackasses like the one you raised;

Don’t let him die. It would be unpleasant.

Funny story about the And Yet It Moves demo; I downloaded it last Thursday, so I could play it while at the hotel during my high school annual choir trip. I didn’t play it before Sunday, when a friend of mine sent me a text message, asking if he could play And Yet It Moves when I got back home. I asked him how the hell he knew that I had downloaded it, and we both looked to the stars for an answer, as he was baffled as well.

Although, I know that, in his mind, he thought he was some sort of physic badass, fucking jerk.

Now, let’s begin with the impressions.



AYIM is a simple puzzle platformer if you just looked at it, but then you get to messing with that all mighty thing called reality…err, the camera, and you get what And Yet It Moves is really about. Premise is straightforward; get to point B from point A, with some checkpoints to help you get from point A to point B.

Like they say, getting there is the hard part.



The game uses the plane you’re on (and there’s only one plane so far, so don’t worry) as your way of dealing with obstacles. Rotate the plane 90 degrees to fall through a small-spot, which is now a hole for you to get to your destination. Rotate again to walk up a wall that was previously too large for you to jump over. Rotate to stop a giant bolder from crushing you to death, rotate to reach a new platform you couldn’t by just jumping (your momentum stays the same throughout rotation of the plane), rotate to save yourself from a deathly fall, or to fall forever…Ok, maybe not fall forever, but you get the idea. Rotate to clear shit, in 90 or 180 degree increments, using the arrow keys on your keyboard.

After playing some of the demo, the “rotation” gameplay works quite nicely; this makes for a delightfully challenging game. It’s not so hard that no one but the hardcore crowd can play, but it’s difficult enough to ensure that once you clear a obstacle that has been teasing you for the last 5-8 minutes, whether it was by luck or by skill, you feel a little glee in your stomach. It’s also difficult enough that you’ll keep trying to clear that obstacle until a spot on your favorite TF2 server opens up, or you realize what time it is and stop…only to pick it up again later.

This is all helped by the weird yet freakishly awesome art style. Your character is sort of drawn on a sheet of construction paper, with a worn-out pencil, and then crudely cut out along the edges. The environment has these static-but-moving backgrounds that look like nature magazine tear-outs that give everything that “Hell, I did this for a project in Art class” feeling, and by the looks of it, you probably did, which, at least, in my opinion, is great.



Overall, I can honestly say that if I come across the 15 bucks, I’ll pick this up for pick up and play time, I played the demo in short bursts, and that seems to work best for this game. Clear a level, leave it, come back, enjoy. It also has that Speed Run mode for those who like to challenge themselves, as well as leaderboards and shareable ghost runs of levels you completed that you’re proud of, which is really nice. And it's all not so intensive that it’ll break your PC, which is a nice little present to boot. I’d say check this title out, you might find that you’ll like And Yet It Moves…and find out what the hell that name could possibly mean.

And Yet It Moves is currently available on Steam for $14.99.