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Daxelman's blog

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Daxelman avatar 5:41 PM on 09.02.2009  (server time)
Confessions And Resolutions

I have a small confession to make.

This will come as a shock to most, if not all, of the hardcore gamers out there, and I have shamed myself accordingly. In fact, Iím still waiting for the eternal wrath of Cthulhu to be brought down upon myself. Actually, you have to send in some paperwork, including a resume. Really, the process is complicated, so Iíll just skip it and get to the confession;

I have only truly completed less than 10 games in my 10 years of gaming.

Yes, I know, blasphemy and what not, ďhow can I call myself a gamerĒ, ďhave Neiro ban this sick individual,Ē (please donít, I love Destructoid), but first, allow me to clarify what I have just said with some background information.

I have played a whole two ton truck load of games, and, as I mentioned in my previous blog, while I might not still have the 70+ game collection for my ex-Gamecube and on-his-deathbed Playstation 2, I did spend time with each and every one of them.

I just never completed them.

Honestly, I canít tell you why I have the inability to complete most of the games I buy. I know itís not time constraints, even with an advanced class, I still find time to burn/snipe/bonk people in Team Fortress 2, or get my ass kicked in BlazBlue. Hell, Iím starting to get over the fact that I lost all my game saves from when I had to get my PS3 exchanged, and Iím planning to go through Burnout Paradise to get my Burnout License again.

Iím also sure itís not having an abnormal amount of games to play either. Like I mentioned earlier, I have a very small game collection, if you can even call it that. Iíve given all the games in my possession, as of right now, at least 4-8 hours of my time, the prize champion being Pokťmon Diamond, earning a whopping 400+ hours. I havenít touched Diamond in 5 months.

Go figure.

I know itís not the enjoyment factor. I greatly enjoyed the time I had with Fallout 3, but I havenít even picked up the box since May, and I bought the game in January. I remember having a blast killing all the people in Megaton with the Fatman, but lately, I have no urge to do that, or anything like it, even though I know Iíll have fun doing it.

And damnit, I still enjoy gaming. I (80% of the time, at least) enjoy the games I buy. I still buy games old and new. I just never complete them.

What seems to be the ďproblemĒ is that Iíll reach a point in playing a game where Iíll just stop and forget said game existed in my meager collection. Hell, I have to remind myself I bought a copy of Psychonauts from Steam. Itís as if something subliminal in my subconscious makes my mind reset itself, and once itís finished rebooting, it already has a new game it wants to play, with no plan to go back and finish the old game what so ever, for no certain reason.

To speak truthfully, Iím fucking tired of that happening.

So yeah, I know Iím making a lot of changes in my gaming lifestyle (a lot being 2). I understand Iím 9 months late to New Yearís Resolutions and what not, and more importantly, I have only a few months till the Spring í10 Game Rush, but damnit, I want to be a better gamer. I want to be able to, one day, post my collection of games, my collection at that moment being over 80 games. I want to be able to sit down and talk about gaming more fluently. Hell, I want to make games for a career, and I believe that itís these subtle changes that are going to help me accomplish those goals.

So Iím going to complete the games I buy, starting now. Iíve got a list, and I think I can finish it by the time Modern Warfare 2 drops, so Iíll be ready for that. Iíll keep my priorities straight, promising to give the unfinished games more time than the new ones (I can always play Scribblenauts at school). Iím going to complete all the games that come into my possession , unless said game is like Resistance 2, in which case Iíll try to get all the Achievements/Trophyís I can before my eyes bleed.

Play me off, Hall & Oats.

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