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David Drake's blog

7:29 AM on 10.28.2011

A Tale Of Irish Folklore...And Mass Effect 3.

This blog post is going to tackle the subject of Mass Effect 3's Co - Op mode and the online pass system. Now, for the record, I'm in favour of both. I love the prospect of playing Mass Effect as a different species with a group of friends and since I plan to purchase the game on day 1 the online pass doesn't come into play at all. Of course, if you're one of the people who dislike the idea of Co - Op and will only play Mass Effect 3 for the story then that's totally understandable and fine too. There's no denying that the franchises core strengths rest solely on the single - player campaign.

Well fella, if everyone fit snugly into one of those two groups then i'm sure, barring the occasional troll who'll show up to say something stupid like "Durr...this multiplayer looks like poo." we could all move on and look forward to enjoying the game. However there seems to be a fairly perculiar section of...humanoid creatures who have a problem with BOTH the inclusion of Co - Op AND the online pass system. If you're against the idea of Co - Op then surely the fact that there's an online pass in place to stop you from accessing it should be a blessing from the heavens, yes?

But no, it seems that some peple's lives are so miserable that they can't cope without having something to complain about. First they complain that Co - Op was put in the game and THEN they complain when the online pass takes it away from them, is this what Samara meant when she said "If you put 3 humans in a room...there will be 6 opinions."??? How can some people be so petty and ridiculous to actually try and play BOTH sides of the coin negatively? How can you say "I hate multiplayer." and then, in the next second, turn around and say "I hate online passes, they took my precious multiplayer away from me!"?

Now, even though gaming is pretty much completely integrated into society, some negative stereotypes still remain. Gamers who enjoy the more "Hardcore" RPG's such as Elder Scrolls and Mass Effect in particular can sometimes be accused as being shut - ins, or whinging little nerds. Now, even though this is utter nonsense and ignorance, it's safe to say that the mindless buffoons who complain about every single decision a developer/publisher makes in the build - up to a big game release aren't helping to prove them wrong. I imagine the perpetrators in question bear a striking resemblance to this:

It's ridiculous, it's pathetic, it's almost inhuman and it reminds me of a good old tale from Irish Folklore that I read a few years ago.

Now, once upon a time in Ireland there lived this royal Prince, he was the ruler of the land and could of had anything that he wanted. He had hundreds of loyal servants at his beck and call, ready to travel to the ends of the Earth to acquire anything he so desired. Surely, with everything going for him, he must have been the happiest, most grateful person on the planet? No, see this Prince was a slimy, whining little snob who couldn't find happyness no matter how hard his loyal subjects tried. He wasn't happy unless he was finding something to complain about, nothing was ever good enough for him.

Now, the Prince did have a fondness for coffee. He enjoyed the boost that it gave him in the morning and had his people travel to the corners of the globe to find the best tasting coffee grounds on the planet for his daily brew. His people were so thrilled at the idea that the Prince may have finally found something that would bring joy to his life that they debated endlessly on how to make his coffee even better. They heard rumours of the sweetest tasting sugar canes growing in the South Americas and they travelled the globe in search of them. As of the time nobody had tried putting sugar in coffee in Europe but stories had been told of Native American tribes saying that sugar in coffee was one of the highlights of human existence and was a great way to enjoy coffee, a usually single - person experience, with your friends.

After a harsh journey across stormy seas and through unforgiving jungles the crew returned with the sweetest sugar to be found in all the world. Some of them had died during the exploration but they were finally ready to make the Prince his superior cup of coffee and bring a smile to his otherwise wretched face. But the snovelling, greedy, over - entitled little dreck of a Prince had other ideas. He erupted in a fit of complaining and crying shouting "This coffee don't need no sugar, that sugar looks like crap. I don't think I even want coffee anymore knowing that it's going to have sugar in it, the existence of sugar has completely ruined the entire experience of coffee for me!".

It came as a shock to the Prince's followers but it was probably just as well. They informed the prince that sugar would no longer be an issue because the Native Americans owned all the sugar on the Earth and if the Prince wanted any more he would have to pay a "Sugar Pass" to acquire it. They were sure that the Prince would go back to being happy, realising that sugar would never again bother him. However this snivelling little worm couldn't enjoy life without something to complain about and went on another of his mad rants shouting "What, how dare they take my precious sugar away from me?!? It's mine, it's all MINE, I am entitled to everything! I can't believe they had the audacity to take the sugar that I never wanted or liked in the first place away from me, this is unacceptable!!! Sugar Passes are the worst political decision in the history of the planet!!! I will never again drink a cup of coffee knowing that I won't be able to put the sugar that I didn't want in the first place into it without paying for it first! I HATE EVERYTHING!!!".

Eventually the townspeople got so sick of this worthless, depressed, self - deluded little ogre's crying and whinging that they travelled deep into the swamps to seek out a famous Witch. They told her of their troubles and she replied to them with a cackle "So, your precious Prince wants something to complain about, eh? I'll make sure he never takes anything for granted ever again!". And with that the Witch cast a spell on the Prince, the over - entitled, arrogant, whinging little freak was robbed of his riches and was given a face more hideous than a Baboon's backside, he was so ugly and poor that he was cast out of the kingdom and was never heard from again.

And the moral of that story is...some idiots in our great gaming community are over - entitled spoilt little brats who whinge and cry over the slightest of trivial things and are a disgrace to real gamers everywhere. But don't worry when you see one of theese trolls crying on the internet about nothing, because just like the Prince in the story they all look like this:

Well fellas, that's all i've got time for just now. I hope you all had a good read and that the wait for Mass Effect 3 isn't too long for ya.   read

3:38 PM on 10.26.2011

Characters I Want To See In Batman 3.

I just recently finished playing through Batman: Arkham City, it's one hell of a game and features just about every major player in the Batman universe that you could think of. However there were a couple of characters that I was personally hoping to see that wound up being absent from the game's massive world. So, i've decided to compile a list of the characters that managed to evade the first two Batman games but who I hope to see in the next one.


Firefly has always been one of Batman's most dangerous enemies, his love of fire causes a huge trail of destruction wherever he goes, threatening anyone unfortunate enough to be near him. His presence could add a lot of depth to the next Batman game, with The Dark Knight having to alternate between chasing Firefly down whilst stopping to rescue some of the civilians caught in his trail of flames, I'd love to see Firefly causing some major havoc on the streets of Gotham (Because let's face it, well all know the third game is going to be set there).


The only villain who can challenge Batman both physically AND mentally. Prometheus is essentially the opposite of Batman, with a pathological need to fight, and kill, officers of the law. Assuming the third game will be set in Gotham we can expect an increased presence from Jim Gordon and his team, which would give Prometheus plenty of reason to show up. This guy could potentially play a big role in the main story of Batman 3, as a charcter who, quite literally, counteracts Batman in every way.

Killer Moth

He might have a stupid name and a campy appearance but the Killer Moth has some of the coolest gadgets in the Batman universe, his creativity rivalling even The Dark Knight. Since the games focus heavily on gadgets and upgrades it would be especially cool if after you stop Killer Moth Batman can "borrow" some of his toys for combat purposes. I'm already imagining blasting some petty thugs with the Cocoon Gun.

Black Mask

We've had Joker, Two - Face and Penguin but Black Mask's mob presence is just as large. Since the ending of Arkham City obviously left a large vacancy in the villain department I think it's time for Black Mask to step up and make his presence felt. He could be the one who initiates the assault on Gotham City, making himself the new mob leader.

So there's my list on the villains who I want to see make an appearance in Batman 3. What do you think? Who would you like to see in the next Batman game?   read

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