Okay, so I'm sure that by now you know the basics about how you're not supposed to act while playing Left 4 Dead, and you know that it's not quite your traditional shooter. So you're aware of how to not be a complete doucherocket, but I'm here to talk about the tricks I've learned to make it look like you really know what you're doing. Being that the game is so heavily focused on cooperation, a lot of these tips will be for groups of survivors rather than you as an individual, so they might not be of much use to you in public, quick game sorts of situations with a group of strangers, but if you and your buddies want to get through Blood Harvest on Expert, this is stuff you'll want to know.

So what are the best ways to convince your friends you know how to play Left 4 Dead? Read on to find out.


Keep it Tight, Bro



Step one is to always move as a unit. Yeah, that seems awfully basic, I know. You learn very early that running off down a dark alley by yourself is only a good idea when you really want to show the contents of your rib cage off to your teammates. But we're not just talking about being around one another, we're talking about performing every single movement together. When zombies are about, keep one or two people on point, crouching to allow your buddies to shoot over you, maximizing efficiency and minimizing friendly fire. Your fourth should remain in back, keeping an eye out for ambushes from behind and watching for the special infected that his mates might miss through the mass of gore in front of them. When investigating small side rooms for supplies, your six man will want to remain outside to warn of any surprise attacks from the horde or an errant hunter. This person's most important task, however, will be shutting doors. No, really. When moving through interior environments, keeping doors shut means the only way zombies in those areas can get to you is by noisily and conspicuously breaking them down, giving you more than enough warning to dispatch them. This is especially useful in versus mode, since the enemy team will almost invariably get a smoker on you from behind if you fail to close all the doors in the stairwells during the first chapter of No Mercy. So know your role in the group and stick to it, and you'll find that you feel much safer. Until the Tank shows up, anyway.


Know Your Surroundings



You might remember that, in some of the game's initial hyping, the designers complained that other games that took you repeatedly through the same set of maps became extremely boring and predictable once the players learned enemy spawns, supply drops, etc.. Valve's solution was to have all of that stuff determined by the AI director, making it a new experience every time, and thus your previous experience with a level would be meaningless.
Well, it worked, for the most part. It is next to impossible to know exactly where the next horde of zombies will come from or where you might find another bottle of pills, but that doesn't mean previous experience with the level is pointless. There are a limited number of locations your supplies will spawn, so you've got to learn where to check and when. Keep track of where you found that pile of pipe bombs. It might not be there next time you play the stage, sure, but it is one possible spawn point. This is especially important with your primary weapons, since there are only a few possible places they'll turn up, and you'll typically only get one drop per chapter, so if you skip over it you'll be shit out of luck. Pistol spawns are also important to keep track of. They might be more common, but when Bill is getting dragged off by a smoker and all you've got is a combat shotgun, you'll be glad you picked one up.
The other important part of knowing your surroundings is knowing where to take cover when the shit hits the fan. You should always be aware of the closest 'closet' space; somewhere your team can cram into that has a very limited number of entrances. If someone gets boomered, staying out in the middle of the street is never a good idea. Know where your side rooms are and when to pile in. This also means you have to take the time to investigate the areas around your 'hold-up points', those times when the game flashes 'Prepare to fight the horde!' across the screen. There are almost always better places to hold out than the one the map seems to have set up for you. For example, there are no fewer than three fantastic closet spaces for the final assault of No Mercy. You'd never know that from the way most people play it, since the obvious way to do it is to use the rooftop with the minigun, but you're actually much better off huddled in one of these closets than out in the open. That is, until the Tank shows up.


Melee



There's a reason melee is bound to the right mouse button. You should be using it frequently. It is without a doubt the single best way to keep rushing hordes at bay, reduce friendly fire, and even deal with the special infected. There is never a bad time for a melee attack. Hunter pounced Francis, but you don't want to replace his midsection with a clip of M16 rounds? Cold clock that son of a bitch and shoot him while he's stunned. [Author's note: I lied, this actually isn't an issue. Survivors are entirely immune to friendly fire damage while pounced. Same goes for survivors constricted by smokers, so fire away! Just watch for when they finish the 'get up' animation.] Smoker is dragging Zoe off, but has cleverly hidden just out of sight behind some trees? Melee Zoe to break the hold, then hunt the smoker down before he recharges. Boomers are also heavily staggered by a melee attack. This is literally the only way to deal with them when they get too close. But here's the best thing about the melee:
You can melee while reloading. This is absolutely invaluable, particularly if you like using shotguns. When you run out of shells during a mob rush, you'd better just mash that right button as fast as you can till you're reloaded. It isn't flawless, and you're liable to be hit once or twice, but it's better than trying to retreat and ending up by yourself somewhere to be eaten.
Just don't melee the Tank.


Keep an Eye on Your Teammates



I know you're probably sick of hearing it, but your team IS the only way you're going to survive, so their health is just as important as yours. Keeping track of who has what, when they need a health pack or bottle of pills, or when they're incapacitated is an absolute necessity. Keep in mind that when the color of the health bar changes, so does the speed at which that player moves. You're going to have trouble speeding the group around a witch when Louis is hobbling around on two broken ankles.
Also important to note here is weapon choice. This is going to depend partially on the map, but you generally want a good balance of firepower. That's going to mean two shotguns and two SMG's for early levels, and a similar split with the second-tier weapons. But like I said, keep the level in mind when picking your guns. Don't just go with the auto shotgun because it's your favorite. They work great on interior stages like No Mercy, but outdoor levels like those found in Death Toll and Blood Harvest call for at least one of the survivors to come equipped with the hunting rifle. Try to balance Molotovs and pipe bombs whenever possible, as well. Always watch those indicators to see which of your teammates have what, and plan accordingly, because if the Tank catches you without a Molotov, expect to become intimately familiar with his fists in a rather short period of time. Because in case you haven't figured it out...


Tanks are Assholes



Seriously, though, Tanks fuck everything up. They have an uncanny ability to make you forget absolutely everything about how to actually play the game in your mad scramble to escape the section of sidewalk hurtling towards your head. Very honestly, I'm not even sure I'm the one who should be giving advice on these guys considering that my record going up against them has been... less than stellar. I can, however, tell you about strategies I have seen work out, usually after my corpse has been sufficiently splattered across the pavement by that meatfisted shitbasket. First of all, don't let him scatter you. If you panic and retreat into the nearest side room, he's just going to pick off your teammates one by one and you'll be up shit creek in no time. There's always the ol' "throw a Molotov and run like hell" strategy that works in many situations, just make sure you can put space between you while you wait for the flames to take the desired effect. If you're unlucky enough to encounter a Tank near the start of a level, it is also advisable simply take cover in your safe room, although I've heard scattered reports of Tanks breaking down safe room doors, so try it at your own risk. If your team is healthy enough to move quickly, (and assuming you won't have to deal with other infected harassing you at the same time) your best bet is going to be swarming around him in such a way that he'll constantly change his mind about who to rush at in a technique known as 'kiting'. He'll twist around and scream at each of you in turn while you pound shotgun shells into his chest. You can also use this tactic to move your team around him to make a mad dash for the safe house, assuming you're close enough. Of course, safe houses are not always the goal. Sometimes you've got to get rid of the Tank before rescue can arrive.
As douchey as it sounds, the most reliable way I've found to get rid of the Tank is to exploit his crummy path finding AI. Tanks have a bad habit of getting stuck in window frames, slowing them down much more than they do survivors. It's especially problematic if he tries to switch targets or directions mid-window, so use that to your advantage. They also encounter similar errors with some frequency when dealing with oddly-shaped props and set pieces, so watch for that whenever possible. If there are other suggestions for taking down Tanks (you know, besides 'shoot at it until it dies'), throw 'em in! I'm listening.



That does it for today's tips. Take these to heart and you'll be snagging the What are you trying to prove? achievement in no time. Incidentally, if you need someone to help you out, feel free to hit up me or my bros any time you like! We're always up for a game.
You might have noticed that these were all survivor tips that work best in campaign mode, so watch for a How to not look like an idiot in Left 4 Dead's versus mode sometime in the future. Till then, go kick some infected ass. I'll see you out there.

This time it's cereal:

reposting epic gif

Yeah, we all heard last month when the ruling was handed down on our old friend JT, but as you'll recall, the silver-haired menace was given 30 days to close up shop and finish up business with his current clients. Well, ladies and gents, that countdown finally hit zero today at exactly 12:00 AM EST.



Truly the end of an era, my friends. Just thought I'd recognize the occasion as it passed.

Well, here's a pleasant surprise for your weekend.



For the past few weeks, Nerdcore Hip-Hopster darling MC Frontalot has been teasing his fans with trickles of information regarding the release of his third album, Final Boss, the title track of which could be heard in Penny Arcade's recent On the Rain Slick Precipice of Darkness episode before Front ever even mentioned the new album. A few weeks back, the release date was revealed to be November 4th, and we figured that would be the end of it for a matter of months.

So imagine, then, my surprise to discover that, yesterday, Front had posted new information regarding pre-orders for Final Boss. On it's own, not too outside the norm, but what IS surprising is that the reward for putting in a pre-order (only $16!) is the ability to download the entire album in addition to getting the disc come November.
The download is still coming in on my shitty campus wi-fi, but I did listen to the first free single (available here) and there doesn't seem to be any shark jumping occurring. So if you heard Front at PAX, but haven't heard much else, this would be a great time to jump in.

Resident Evil 4 is without a doubt one of the greatest games of last generation. Capcom bravely took one of their strongest franchises and brought it into what was then the next gen, revolutionizing the formula to which the Resident Evil series had stuck for so long, shedding the gameplay shackles of the fixed camera and pre-rendered environments, and created what many consider one of the best survival horror games of all time. It has been repackaged and resold on many platforms since its initial Gamecube release, and has found success wherever it goes. The story is peppered with great characters, cheesy one-liners, terrible writing, terrifying enemies, and challenging boss battles. But for me, there's one guy that really sticks out.

First, let's examine how the player is introduced to The Merchant. To that point in the game, you have literally been killing every single filth-covered villager you have come in contact with. Other than that weird guy you got tied to in the preceding cut scene, no other supporting characters have been introduced. It's just Leon against the world. Having just escaped a dangerous hostage situation involving an axe-wielding maniac, the player is surprised to see a strange looking man in a window call out to them. "Over here, stranger." At this point, you could be totally forgiven for assuming that your next goal would be to introduce the violet-clad creeper to the business end of your shotgun, but in any case you head out the building and round the corner. Capcom, in their wisdom, must have known that their players' minds were liable to be on their trigger fingers, so just prior to allowing the player in firing range of the innocent man, a cutscene is initiated. "Got somethin' that might interest yeh, keh heh!" His trademark purple jacket is thrown open, and the player is introduced to The Merchant's interface.

Yeah, that's literally all the exposition he gets. Next time you meet him, he does get yet another line, just to make it clear to the player that this is someone they'll be encountering with some frequency. But that's it. No name, no backstory, no explanation as to how this crafty motherfucker gets absolutely everywhere before you do, or maybe why all of the blood-thirsty Ganados seem to be perfectly content with allowing him to run freely around their establishments, aiding the guy who's only real purpose there is to murder hundreds of them at a time. Nothing. But in a lot of ways, I think this lack of story interaction is what makes The Merchant so appealing.

In terms of actual plot importance, The Merchant's role could just as easily have been played by a box with guns in it. His real role is just to enrich the gameplay, to give the player a sense of empowerment when they buy that new, even shinier shotgun that can carry a dozen shells in a clip. So why did the game designers give him such a rich character? His thick accent and frequently hilarious lines about his wares, coupled with his truly enigmatic nature, make this glorified vending machine more charming than he's got any right to be. Capcom took what could have easily been a pretty boring, routine game mechanic and made it into one of the most memorable characters in the entire franchise. And you never even get to see his face! I mean, do you remember what that one guy's name was, the one who could turn his arm into a big knife? What about that midget with the freaky-looking body guards? No, you don't, but I bet you remember The Merchant.

Even Mega64 had to stand up and recognize in one of their very best shorts:


Looking forward, The Merchant's future is unclear. Based on gameplay and a few interviews from Resident Evil 5, we know that at the very least there is a mercantile system of some kind, but who will be running the show remains a mystery. Capcom knows that The Merchant is a fan favorite, so I sort of doubt we've seen the last of him, but where he might turn up again is, like the man himself, a complete unknown.

Hi Destructoid Community. Nice to meet you.

This is my first blog here, so I thought I'd do something sort of introductory. I'm going to tell you the story of how I met Destructoid, tracing as far back as my gaming memory will take me. It might be a bumpy ride, and you'll probably think to yourself 'where is this asshole going with all this?' but just trust me, it all links together and the end result is Destructoid. Buckle up.


The story starts with Dance Dance Revolution. I started playing, oh, about six or so years ago, and I got pretty good. So good, in fact, that I started thinking maybe DDR wasn't challenging enough. That's when infamous DDR knock-off In The Groove took off. It offered the same addictive gameplay of DDR, but prettier, louder, and most importantly, harder. The difficulty of the uppermost level of songs went far beyond any DDR player's wildest dreams. I was hooked of course, and it just so happened that two of the songs on ITG's songlist were from an artist named MC Frontalot. While simplistic, I found his two entries on the game completely addicting. Laughing along with the lyrics as I danced like an idiot, I started to wonder if this guy did anything else I could listen to. I ravaged his website for any and all of his free MP3's, and before long his first CD was in my mailbox. Browsing around his site for more hilarious tidbits, I came across recommendations for various webcomics. No stranger to the world of internet hilarity, I was already familiar with most of the comics he mentioned.

One stuck out though, with a particularly glowing recommendation and a name I was only vaguely familiar with. Penny Arcade. "Ah!" I thought to myself. "Could this be the mysterious namesake behind Frontalot's PA Theme? I could never turn away the Front's advice, so I took to reading PA immediately. I know, right? Being introduced to PA by Front? I can guarantee that almost 95% of the time that process runs in reverse. But I digress. In the following months I went through the painstaking process of learning to appreciate Tycho's writing. It worked, eventually, and now I can't put the stuff down, but it took some doing. During that time, I noticed that he would frequently link me to videos on Gametrailers.com when he had a specific game to talk about. After watching a few of these videos, I decided to see what else this mysterious new website had to offer, and before long it became a favorite bookmark. I started watching videos on GT almost daily, including their original programs like the Bonus Round.

Now think back to about... One year ago. Okay, it might have been closer to about one year and two days, but try not to be so nitpicky. Do you remember if Destructoid and the Bonus Round had some sort of interaction? I'll give you a hint. The Bonus Round ran an episode focused on the gaming blogosphere, and one of their guests for the episode was none other than Ron Workman. His flippant manner, vulgar vocabulary and frequently hilarious one-liners really made an impression on me. (Missed that episode? Don't worry, I got you covered.)

"Jesus God!" I thought to myself, "This is exactly what I've been looking for in someone to report hardcore gaming news to me! Whilikers!"
Immediately thereafter I was here. If you've been keeping track, that would place my first visit to Dtoid somewhere in the vicinity of July 23, 2007. Ever since then I've been relying on Destructoid as my very first source of hardcore gaming news. After a full year of lurking, I've taken the plunge to become a real live C-Blogger.

It feels good, Destructoid. Feels real good.