You may remember a certain contest that Dtoid ran recently that I and some other fantastic community members won, yes? Well, when Hamza contacted me about where to send the shirt, he also added that he'd like to see my whale entry on a shirt. Great guy, Mr. Aziz. Anyway, when the shark speaks, you listen, so here you go:



Not really sure how the whole Teextile thing works, but I've already got a few votes without having actually spread the thing around, so I'm hopeful. Let me know what you think of the design or if there's anything I should tweak. Oh, and thanks again to Hamza and the other judges for picking my picture!

Have you played FlOwer? I haven't, because I don't have a PS3, but that hasn't stopped people from asking me about the game. See, as it turns out, a member of the team that developed the game, specifically, the 3D artist, has a name that's very familiar to me. Familiar because it's mine.


Third from the bottom.

This was first pointed out to me very shortly after the game came out by our own Reverend Anthony, who sent me a message on Steam inquiring if it was me that he saw in the credits for the game. Initially I was very perplexed by his question. Then I looked up thatgamecompany's website and found the above. You can imagine my amusement. What's really funny to me is that Mr. Haas and I apparently have a great deal in common, he's just much further along. I'm currently in college, studying art and computer science. After school, I could easily get into something like 3D modeling, and if I did, a job at a place like thatgamecompany would rank very highly on my list of absolute dream jobs. Maybe this guy is me from the future.
Anyway, after Anthony asked me, I laughed about it and then promptly forgot the whole thing. That is, until today, when another friend of mine, who apparently just finished playing FlOwer, asked me the same question. So just in case any of you are spurred on by kauza's article to play the game, the answer is no, I didn't work on the game. But lord do I wish I did.

Quick primer for those who are not familiar with Heroes of Newerth: It's the incredibly popular Warcraft III mod, Defense of the Ancients, but built on a brand new, custom-made engine and released as a standalone game by developer S2 Games. Yes, I know, we've heard that promise before with Demigod, but this game doesn't take quite so many liberties with the formula. In its beta build, it already has clones of almost all the original DotA heroes, as well as some new ones built by S2. Combat takes place on exactly the same map. Basically, this is DotA, rebuilt to be strong enough to stand on its own two legs. It's currently in a closed beta, and should release sometime this year (I think) for $30. I'm not sure if its going to be digital distribution only of it'll show up in retail, but something tells me the former.

So I think I'm allowed to talk about it? The NDA says I can't post any screens, so you get a logo and a big ol' wall of text, but that's better than nothing, right? Oh, and before you ask, I'm out of invites. But if you ask really, really nice, I'll pass your email along to a bro and he might invite you.





Let me get this out of the way right now: I never played Defense of the Ancients. I played through most of Warcraft III when I borrowed it from a friend, but I never bought the game, thus I could never play online and get into the custom game scene. I had friends who did, though, and they're the same people who got me on HoN. Point being, you're getting impressions from someone who has very limited experience of this game's direct predecessor. This means two things for you: first, that I will be unable to comment on some of the more subtle changes between the two games, such as character tweaks, map changes, etc.. Second, it means that I'm going into the game fresh. I think this should make for a more objective opinion on the games core strengths and weaknesses, regardless of whether or not they were present in DotA.

Taking a cue from Jon Holmes, I'm just going to use the bullet point format. Let's start with the pros.

Things I like about it:

-General aesthetic of the menus, even if it is mostly stolen directly from Warcraft III (see: all the typefaces, menu panels coming in on chains), is extremely well put together and functional. Lots of great original art was created for this game, and it all works very well.
-The interface has been streamlined to more directly address the core gameplay. Again, this is something I can't directly comment on, being that I wasn't a DotA player, but it's worth noting that I found the HUD and controls extremely easy to learn.
- The core mechanics are solid. The minute-to-minute gameplay is very enjoyable. You simply focus on controlling your hero and coordinating with your team members, stripping away the micromanagement elements that drove me away from RTS's in general. You still have to pay extremely close attention to your minimap (which looks very much how you'd expect it to if you've ever played an RTS) and you'll quickly learn how important the location of your hero is, but overall you should have a good time playing HoN.
- One of the biggest advantages of making DotA into a standalone game is that it instantly solves many of the issues that plagued it. To hear my DotA veterans explain it, issues related to players disconnecting and finding games of the appropriate type have rendered DotA nearly unplayable at this point. You're extremely lucky, they say, if you can find a game that lasts more than 15 minutes with each player remaining in the game. That was the kind of thing that drove S2 to want to make a standalone game, so naturally great effort has been put into the games browser, as well as the way it handles connections to the games themselves.
- The graphics. Again, it doesn't stray very far from its Warcraft III roots, but the engine is much newer, allowing for great special effects. S2 has done a great job with models and voice work for all of the heroes. The end of you match is punctuated by an extravagant destruction animation as your opponents' final structure falls.
- You have the ability to call a vote for your team to concede, which means if your team has essentially already been totally outclassed by your opponents, you don't have to protect your leave percentage by standing around and letting them beat on your team until your final tree falls. This conveniently tends to lead to much shorter games.
- It supports voice chat, which is a nice bonus and should help the all-important team play aspect of the game.
- I'm not totally convinced this should be in the 'pros' category, it's more of a simple observation, but this game is amazingly postmodern. I mean, here we have a game that theoretically will be marketed as its own product, independent of any other game. And yet it's still a mod. It retains all of the ridiculous tropes that made it so painfully obvious that DotA was a fan-made project. When you kill another player, the kill confirmation reads 'Player X pwned Player Y's head!', just as it did in DotA. Hell, it even has the damn Quake sounds! I mean, they're not the Quake sounds exactly, but when a team is doing particularly well, enormous red letters flash across the top of your screen as a deep-voiced announcer proclaims BLOODBATH. And that's just one of many phrases this announcer has. I could really go on about this guy and how he effects the game, but you might be better off finding out for yourself.



Things I don't like about it:
- The userbase. This is sort of a problem that's bleeding over from DotA, as the vast majority of HoN beta testers are DotA vets. As such, they have a very low tolerance for noobs. Disconnecting when a game is going poorly is still a problem, though it is mitigated somewhat by the concede option I mentioned. Still, though, the userbase is a serious problem in the beta, and if they don't expand their audience when the game finally releases, I don't see myself being able to tolerate them for very long.
- Stat tracking. Oh my god, stat tracking. Everything you do in this game is tracked in an extremely wide variety of ways, and its all put on display for absolutely anyone to see. The result is that people become stat whores, for lack of a better term. They'll refuse to play on teams with poor stats, and they'll change their play style to better protect their stats from harm. I mean, the tracking is a fine idea in theory, but it's really all too public at this point. The fact is that engenders play and behavior that is simply not fun, and it could really hurt the game in the long run.
- It's kind of a small complaint, but I'm not really a fan of how the game currently handles clans. My friends and I made a clan so we could more easily keep track of one another within the game, but because being in a clan assigned us all with a giant, obtrusive [FTM] before our names, we found it very difficult to find opponents who were willing to stay in a lobby when the entire other team was sporting the same clan tag. We abandoned the clan very quickly.
- Even though the core mechanics are easily nailed, there is an incredibly punishing learning curve at work for players like me. The fact is, in order to be an effective player, you have to know the exact moveset, abilities, and strengths and weaknesses of every single hero. And there are more than 30 of these guys. Then there is an incredibly deep item purchasing system in place that also needs to be mastered, lest you be endlessly pestered by your teammates, calling you such colorful names as 'mega nab' and 'bad bad baddie'. Yes, seriously. If you've never played DotA, you're in for a very rough first few games. And by first few, I mean first few dozen.


So what's my verdict? If you were ever a fan of DotA, definitely look into the beta if you can. You'll have to decide for yourself if DotA is worth $30 to you. Because at the end of the day, that's what HoN is. I'm simply not convinced that they've put enough into it to set it apart from its predecessor.

Okay, yeah, I get it, people are extremely excited about PAX, which is awesome. PAX is great. It has been great, and it's only getting better. With only a scant few months to go before the event, announcements like Ron Gilbert's keynote and the partial (though already amazing) band lineup, people are understandably hyped to high heaven already. But I'm here to tell you today why you shouldn't give two cares about PAX, and instead start looking forward to its Bostonian counterpart, PAX East.




Reason 1: I can't go to Seattle PAX and I'm bitter about it


As much as I would totally LOVE to share in the absolute orgy of happiness and nerd glory that is the Penny Arcade Expo this September, a very tragic series of events has once again ensured that I will not be in attendance this year. I won't bore you with the details, just suffice it to say that I'm a college student, and that poverty and geographic isolation are both unfortunate implications of that fact. This also makes me extremely unhappy every time I read a new story about what's going to be happening at PAX this year. I hate knowing the awesome stuff and people and games I'm going to be missing out on. So I'm trying to bring some more attention to the event that I will be able to experience first hand, which brings us to...


Reason 2: These two AWESOME people will be there:


Above, you see myself (left) and my lovely girlfriend Andrea (right). I have succeeded in luring her to Boston under the pretense of sightseeing in a beautiful, history-rich city, as a romantic getaway to celebrate our one year anniversary over our spring break. Little does she know that I have already preregistered BOTH of us for all three days of the Con, and that very soon I'll have a hotel booked, mere blocks from the Hynes convention center. WON'T SHE BE SURPRISED.

Why should you care? Well, not only will it be hilarious, but I'm also planning something special for her as a sort of 'welcome to PAX', and I may require the assistance of some of my fellow Dtoiders. More to come on that in the intervening months.

Reason 3: Nothing is confirmed yet, so it's like a Mystery Convention


Everyone knows that if there's one thing gamers like, it's wild speculation. Well, nothing lends itself to speculation quite like a convention with no confirmed speakers, bands, or exhibitors! Just about all we DO know is the date, March 26th, and the Location, the Hynes Convention Center in Boston. That's a promising space, though, boasting a very impressive contiguous floorspace that could be used for absolutely anything. So what's it going to be, Dtoiders? A massive three-ring circus? One enormous ball pit after another? Lazer Tag? The possibilities are endless! We simply won't know until something is announced! It's Schrödinger's Con! Let the speculation commence!

Reason 4: All the awesome East coast Dtoiders will be there.



Like that beautiful bastard right there. That's Topher Goddamned Cantler, and he's from Baltimore. Baltimore is really really close to Boston. All signs point to this being the absolute perfect opportunity for me to achieve my life goal of buying Mr. Cantler a beer.
Oh, and I guess some other East coast folks will be there too. Samit is from New York, right? Wait, are Yankees fans allowed in Boston? Point being, East coast party is a good party. It won't be quite the same as the one in Seattle, but it'll have a flavor all its own that will, without a doubt, be worth experiencing. You gonna be there, too? Put your name on the list.


Reason 5: It's only 261 days away!

That's right, in just 261 short days, PAX East opens its doors to the gaming public. That's, like... way less than a year. That's not even enough time to fully gestate a human being, let alone gestate sufficient hype for a convention of these proportions. So come on, people! Get excited!

WOO PAX

I am so glad I found out about this guy.

Raheem Jarbo, aka Random Beats or just Random, is an Arizona-based hip-hop artist slash school teacher who also happens to be officially licensed by Capcom. After a few legitimate rap albums, Random has decided to embrace his nerd side and release Mega Ran 9 a ten-track rap CD comprised entirely of songs inspired by, and sampling, the brilliant Mega Man 9 soundtrack.



This thing is amazing.

You can download the free version of the album here, but if you'd rather listen to some tracks individually, you can do that here. You can expect this thing to remain free up until it is released in stores (!), which should be on March 24th. Also, if you're interested in learning a bit more about the man and his music, this interview with Kwanzoo comes highly recommended.

You may have read my previous advice on playing Left 4 Dead and thought to yourself, 'hey, this stuff isn't too complicated. Common sense, really.' And that might be mostly true. Once you learn the basics of surviving campaign mode, there aren't too many advanced techniques to pick up that'll turn you pro. Versus mode, however, is a bit different. Deceptively so. The core difference here is the point structure. In campaign mode, your only goal is to make it from one end of the level to the other. And even though that goal doesn't change a whole lot in versus, the fact that you're scored based on distance traveled, health remaining, and surviving players changes the way you play in very significant ways. First, we'll go over the few ways in which survivor tactics change, then get some in-depth strategies on playing the infected side.


Survivors: Keep it quick, bro

Your Survivor-side strategies will remain mostly the same. Stick together, close doors, move in formation, etc.. You know all that. The central thing to keep in mind during versus mode is to always keep moving. Remember, your main enemies are on respawn timers, so the more time you waste moving around the level, the more times you're going to have to fend them off. Keep the checking of side rooms to a minimum, and keep track of when you've killed most of them and you're able to move mostly uninhibited. Moving forward means earning points, so go quickly as much as possible. Also, if you're aware of a stray smoker or other special infected somewhere behind you, it's sometimes best to just leave him back there. If you can move quickly enough, he's going to have a hard time catching up to attack. That means one less mystery infected causing trouble up ahead.
Overall, just remember that you're fighting a much more intelligent group of special infected from the campaign crop, so they're likely to do things you might not otherwise expect. They've played these levels, too, so they've got a good idea where you're going and what you're thinking. It's a very interesting mind game that typically leads to zombies getting shot through walls entirely as a result of a hunch on the part of a Survivor. Now then, on to the Infected:

Hunter



Why don't we start the Hunter section off with a quick video:

The HD version comes highly recommended

Here's the thing about the Hunter: the game never actually teaches you about some his most important gameplay mechanics. First, the Hunter is capable of doing fairly significant amounts of damage just with his initial pounce as long as he jumps from a good distance away. This, combined with his truly absurd wall jumping ability, makes the Hunter a real threat in able hands. With a truly immaculate leap, you can do as much as 25(!) damage before you even get to slashing at their throat. It's difficult to learn and a bitch to master, making the Hunter easily the deepest of the three main infected types. I mean, you can even wall jump off of freaking power lines. What the hell.
Another thing Hunters are particularly good at is being loud. The shriek emitted when they leap is one of the more recognizable sounds to survivors, and you know they'll be looking for you as soon as they hear it. Use this to your advantage by drawing their attention away from your teammates, allowing them to move in for the attack. This works especially well in areas like the street in front of the pawn shop, the parking lot outside Burger Tank, or similarly open arenas.
And this might be more of a general tip for any infected, but do your best to draw the survivors' fire towards unintended targets like alarmed cars and Witches. A couple of stray bullets towards these bastards and they'll get a whole lot more than they bargained for.


Smoker



The basic key to a great Smoker pull is staying out of sight. Your ideal pull will take one of them out of the group and around a corner, safe from direct fire, forcing them to make a major detour to take care of you. In my experience, the best way to make that happen is by striking either from above or below your target. Below is typically the best, since the survivor will usually have serious problems climbing back to wherever you pulled them from, and you're more likely to get the bonus damage from pulling them 100% to you instead of strangling them from afar. Unfortunately, opportunities to do this are fairly uncommon (one room in the subway and the finale of No Mercy come to mind) so you'll more frequently have to stick with smoker pulls from above.
The tongue attack itself takes some getting used to. You don't always grab who you think you'll grab, and it can sometimes be hard to tell why some grabs take and others don't. My advice is to be patient with it. Take time to pick your target and when to strike. Try for survivors that aren't moving around too much; if they move a lot and something interrupts your line of sight before the grab locks on, you'll lose the grab and do nothing but give away your position. But stick with it, and you'll be slurping up survivors with the best of 'em.


Boomer



Boomers are responsible for one thing: bringing chaos to an orderly group of Survivors. The disorientation and confusion brought on by a stream of Boomer bile is nothing short of pure panic for them. Unlike the Smoker and Hunter, who work best on isolated survivors, Boomers are most effective when survivors are clustered together. More often than not, Boomer attacks are the impetus for Survivor separation, creating those ideal Smoker and Hunter moments. The challenge for the Boomer is getting close to as many survivors as possible without being spotted. One great way to do this is to pretend you're playing as a Pyro and just hide around corners, springing your attack before your prey can react. But in general, just watch for when they're distracted. Sure, Boomers are awfully loud and easily recognizable, but it's not too difficult to slip under their radar while they deal with a Hunter or foolishly investigate a side room without backup.


Tank



You've fought Tanks before, so at the very least you know what doesn't work. Your team scatters, some of them rush ahead in a foolhardy attempt to finish the level solo (only to get Hunter pounced seconds later), some attempt to take it head on, others just hide in closets till danger has passed. Your goal as a Tank is to recreate those situations. Coordinate with your team so that when a Survivor runs off by himself to escape your unbelievably massive pectorals, one of your Hunters will be there to take him out.
But don't play like the AI plays it. You might see AI controlled Tanks smashing repeatedly at downed survivors as if a prize might come out, but that is not the way to do things. Your only goal here is to incapacitate the survivors, so just move on after you get one down. One kill is not worth the damage it's going to cost you to stand totally stationary, a massive damage sponge trying desperately to turn Louis' face into a puddle of goo.
The other insanely useful tool at the Tank's disposal is the ability to throw otherwise completely immobile objects at his targets as if they were whiffle balls. Most stages have this tool available; urban environments have cars, wooded maps have large downed trees just aching to make some Survivor's day much, much worse. Chapter 4 of No Mercy even has a forklift for you to bat around like a kitten with a ball of string. So if you're ever feeling a little sluggish, remember, these objects, despite their size, will travel much faster towards your target, if given the correct motivation.


Well, that does it for my Versus mode guide. Hope you found it at least somewhat informative. The Infected might be the scourge of the planet and one of my greatest fears, but I'll be damned if they aren't fun to play. As always, I invite you to add me to your Steam friends list! I love having new 'Toiders to play with. And I'm getting a little tired of having the entire other team rage quit after round 1.