When scrounging around the game industry for a profession, I quickly realized that I cannot be the "best" at any of them. No matter what I did, who I befriended or how hard I worked there would be someone else that was better. I realize this is a very pretentious (and a far stretch) approach for this month’s assignment…but it was either this or how much I rock at masturbating.



Competitive Gaming:
I am a HUGE fan of the Smash Brothers series. So naturally I decided to challenge my skills. So I decided to attend my first Smash tournament. I was quickly found myself feasting on the butthole end of a SHFFLing Marth. I took my broken Ganondorf home and joined an online community of professional smash players. Over the next six months I tinkered with, relearned and mastered my newly acquired skills. I did not think that I was going to win, I KNEW I was going to win. Again, I traveled half way across the state to battle it out in the realm of professional gaming. I won! Next it was time to short hop spike my way through the state tournament. I finished 12th. It was at that crushing moment that I knew I was NEVER going to be the Smash Bros King of the world. But for some odd reason I still play smash brothers religiously. I still look up to those professionals and one day dream of being better than them…




Game Development:
With my excessive passion for the game industry, it was only natural that I would want to pursue a career in developing them. So I started like so many industry designers do, through testing. Over the nearly four years I spent in the Quality Assurance department of a major development studio, I learned so much about the in’s and out’s of game development that I deemed it naive that I ever thought I could be on the same level as Miyamoto or Molyneux . But I continued to build my skills hoping that one day receive my shot. After spending even more time in the development field I realized that even if I one day become a great designer, I will never surpass the greats of yesteryear. No matter what I create, it will have been on their shoulders. It is them that I must credit for the great state of the industry as we know it.




Game Journalism:
I now am trying to break into the overcrowded video game journalist field. I sadly do not have a college degree or even a strong writing background. Disregarding that still here I sit attempting to pieces words together to form a cohesive blog entry. Even if I do manage to become a blogger for a video game site, will I ever live up to those who precede me? Stephen L Kent and others have blazed the path that I would love to even step foot on. This is an exciting new side of the industry that I have loved all my life. Very scary, intimidating and infuriating but oh so exciting.



Why I keep going:
I think Jacques Lacan was onto something. No matter how many times I am beaten down, I will continue to come back. No matter what the insurmountable odds, I will always climb the mountain. These lofty goals are exactly what makes life worth living. Only in the pursuit of a dream will you find happiness. Obtaining the dream is when that happiness will begin to fade. So I will continue to refine my Smash Brothers game, improve my design and write this blog. Do I hope to achieve my goals? Of course! Will I ever reach them? Damned if I know. All I know is that in order to be truly happy, I must chase them.

And I’m awesome at fapping.