Now I’m not usually one to venture into the brick-laying, boob whistling depths of The Sun newspaper, Britain’s lowliest paper, but for some reason whilst at work, I picked up a copy laying around and found this tidbit of information. Apparently playing computer games can help you stay slim.

Now before we all cry the foul of the “casual gamer” and how Nintendo and Wii Fit have once again broken the masses, it wasn’t just ‘that exercise game’, as my Mother puts it that they were harking on about. They too mentioned Grand Theft Auto and Call of Duty 3.

Apparently even sitting down twiddling a few thumbsticks will burn on average 40 per cent more calories than sitting doing nothing. The research team leader, Dr Alison McManus of the University of Hong Kong, said that, “Physically active video gaming may be part of the antidote to the poisonous growth of sedentary entertainment.”

Now whilst it’s just common sense than any activity at all is better than sitting on your fat one thus resulting in more calories being burnt, it was surprising to hear this out of The Sun newspaper that just trails The Daily Mail on video game hate.

However this begs the question: If video games like Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto help you burn calories, then just what the fuck does Jim Sterling actually do with the games he buys, because he sure as hell ain’t playing them.

[Note: Sorry, Jim. I love you really.]

[Source]

First a quick note. This is my first blog for quite some time now. Some of you may remember
me doing the European Virtual Console release reviews. While this went on for quite some
time, unfortunately my work load got the better of me. Then there was the case of the
diminishing bank funds. And now, just to cap off the reasons/excuses I'm no longer able to
play my Wii online or download any new VC/Wiiware because I enjoy Brawl too much. If I
update my Wii I am unable to play Brawl. Quite a pickle, eh? I can tell you not as much of a a
headache I'm going to get when Megaman 9 comes out. I'll have to choose between my two
loves!

Anyway, enough of that. Onto with the reason I actually decided to blog: EPIC FAILURE!

I found this on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0to1HDxtkM4

I'm speechless. He is so not gamer. I can't allow the poor guy and his song to be
associated with out beloved past time when he fails as epicly as he does. Either he goes, or I
go, make your choice internets.

EDIT: What the hell is wrong with the embedding! Niero! NIERO! I NEED YOU!

So these fortnightly reviews are getting a little tedious, eh? Not to worry, I�ll try my hardest to keep up with it this week. Here�s the releases for the past couple of weeks. As usual there�s an embargo on a certain console.

April 11th Releases
Wonder Boy � 400 points


Right, so Wonder Boy then. Hands up where you�ve seen this before? Yep, that�s right. This game is exactly the same as Hudson�s Adventure Island released a few weeks back. Now this is where I usually lay into it but actually I�m kind of glad. Well obviously not personally, but for you guys I am. See if you read my review of Hudson�s Adventure Island you would know that I really liked the game. In fact, and I quote, I said that �I would really recommend downloading this game. It�s extremely fun and shows the modern day platformers how the classics were done.� With a recommendation like that you can�t go wrong.

Now the reason I�m glad for you guys is that if you didn�t download Hudson�s Adventure Island then download this right now. At 400 points it�s a little cheaper than its NES counterpart and, personally, it looks a little better. Couple that with the fact the main character no longer sports a moustache and I�d think that to be a winning deal.

DanGale scores: 4/5


Fantasy Zone � 400 points


A second Master System game and also a second good Master System game at that. Fantasy Zone is a side scrolling shoot �em up, but you can scroll both ways. Now being a shoot �em up I can tell you that I sucked at the game and couldn�t actually get past the first level so maybe you shouldn�t take my word as gospel on this. That�s not to say I didn�t have fun however, quite the contrary, I had a ball.

The graphics are nice and bright, not like your Ikaruga�s and R-Type�s (maybe this is why I�ve heard it referred to as a �cute �em up�. No?) And it plays very smoothly. The controls were a little loose for my liking but then again I did suck at the game and a person that doesn�t have a shoot �em up deficiency might actually get further than me with this game.

I would actually recommend this, but only if you think you can handle it, otherwise you may waste 400 points on a game you can�t beat the first level too. GRRRRR!!!

DanGale scores: 3/5



April 18th Releases

Phantasy Star III: Generations of Doom � 800 points


Now if you cast your mind back, you may recall that when Phantasy Star II was released I didn�t look on it too favourably. There was just something that stopped me from getting involved with it. The movement, the battle system. It all seemed rather ancient to me. Now surprisingly, although I�ve not played too much of this yet, I did find myself getting into it a lot more. It�s a game I�ll probably play a fair bit in the future.

There was just something that drew me in. The visuals looked far better and the movement was quite frustrating. Also the battle system, although absolutely confusing, was interesting to say the least. There�s no text only icons. Needless to say I�m a man and don�t read manuals or instructions so it took me a far while to actually learn how to fight. I was just passing turns for the first dozen battles or so whilst getting my arse kicked.
This gets a recommendation from me, which I was pleasantly surprised with. And any game where a father would insensitively throw his own son in the dungeon after his bride was just kidnapped has to be good, right?

DanGale scores: 4/5




Well that�s that. I was pretty surprised we didn�t see Super Mario Kart leading up to the release of Mario Kart Wii, but I guess I�ll never understand Nintendo. Maybe they�re waiting to release it in America too.

So I�m never usually around on Fridays which means that Euro FNF for me is usually pretty rare. However this week I was planning on playing along until the 360 I stole from a blind kid kept connecting me to Live for ten seconds, then kicking me again. Spending an HOUR trying to rectify the problem resulted in nothing more than an Angry Dan and an unquenchable thirst. It doesn�t help that it�s pretty warm today where I am and all I want to do is connect to Live.

I have therefore given up.

But the fun can still continue for today I picked up Mario Kart Wii. I went into GAME, gave them my copies of Red Steel and Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz and walked out with it for a grand total of �4.99. Bargain!

I am hereby proposing that we break away from those 360 �fags� and play some Mario Kart Wii online. So if anybody is up for it then leave your friend code below and we shall commence around 9pm GMT. I would ask any Americans to join us if they were around but, well, you know, we got it before them.

My friend code is: 2621 2743 4735.
Conan-san: 1160-9838-6084
njsykora: 2621-2738-6562
wilbo: 3351-4186-8539
Prof Pew: 0173-1438-7954
Anus McPhanus: 2750-1243-3076
Dan CiTi: 3308-4769-3351

If you want to chat then join irc.dynastynet.net and type '/join #dtoid-kart'. Any problems then let me know. I�m not exactly the master of organisation so something�s bound to go wrong.

Thanks to Professor Pew here is his guide to getting IRC up and running. Thanks Pew!

P.S. Real men use the wheel.

Also, maybe later on we can play some Brawl, if anyone is up for that.

So I�m afraid that once again I�ve left these reviews to rollover for a fortnight. I�ve been super busy and with it being Easter break I�ve been yo-yo-ing between home and uni, which means I get to play less games. However that shall not happen now as term has started and I now spend most of my nights alone crying into my pillow. Oh and besides that playing games. So now I get to review two weeks worth in this blog. Of course anyone who read the last blog I did will remember that out of protest the Commodore 64 games will not be seen here as I refuse to pay 500 points for a game when I could probably batch buy 20 at a car boot sale for that price. If you really want to know if they are worth it then go see njyskora�s blog or whatever he�s called.

March 28th releases

Cruis�n USA � 1000 points


The N64 wasn�t really known for it�s �realistic� racing games, in fact come to think of it, I actually don�t remember knowing anybody that actually had one. There were legends of them told but i never actually played one. My racing bug was usually kept at bay by F-Zero X and Mario Kart 64, which by the way are on the Virtual Console already and should have been downloaded by you all by now. Oh and there was Aeroguage but as anybody that has played it can attest, is probably the worst racing game of all time.

Playing this though actually shows why I never bothered with �realistic� racers. You can definitely see ancestral features here that were applied to later games such as Burnout but the problem with this game is that it�s just so damn boring. Also the visuals are horrible. Now I don�t mean that as a look-how-old-the-graphics-are-lol, I actually mean that in N64 terms. Though the N64 was blur-tastic with the occasional fog, as were most games in that age, there are some games that do look good. Cruis�n USA however just looks horrible compared to the games it was released with back then.

It�s also quite slow and sluggish for a racer. Maybe it�s because I loved F-Zero X that had me whizzing round at 1000km/h, but this game feels excruciatingly slow. I really can�t recommend this game to anyone. I can�t even say that it hasn�t aged well because that would mean that I�d have to acknowledge that at some point it was a good game. Steer clear.

DanGale scores: 1/5


April 4th releases

Yoshi�s Cookie � 500 points


Well I was really excited about this game. I remember having this on my Gameboy and playing the hell out of it. I thought nostalgia would kick in and I would be taken to heaven. Well that was the plan. As soon as I played it I realised it wasn�t what I thought it was. I was in actual fact getting mixed up with Mario & Yoshi which was what I had actually played all those years ago. So Yoshi�s Cookie] is actually a game I�ve never played before.

Now I was slightly more excited at the prospect of playing a game I�d never played before. Only this time I wasn�t disappointed, I actually liked it. It�s a puzzle game where the aim is to shift lines of cookies along to for a complete column or row before more cookies are added either from above or to the side. As you can guess if you don�t clear fast enough and the clump of cookies reach the side or top of the screen you fail.

Surprisingly it�s actually quite fun and I would recommend downloading it. Of course there is an SNES version which is probably slightly better but that may not show up for quite some time, so in the meantim you can�t go wrong here. It�s a fun little puzzler that doesn�t cost too much and will keep you entertained for a few hours at least. It�s even two player in case a friend wants to come over for buttsex. You hear that Cowzilla? We can two player after buttsex/

DanGale scores: 3/5



Well that�s that for this week. I was hoping that Super Mario Kart would rear it�s head last week giving me a full week to �get in the mood� for Mario Kart Wii. I mean it made sense didn�t it? Alas it was not meant to be. I�m pretty sure we�ll see it tomorrow though. It�s just a shame I�ll be too busy getting to know the new one. (Actually come to think of it can any US residents clarify if you have Super Smash Bros. 64 yet? Considering Super Metroid came out before Metroid Prime 3: Corruption and Super Mario Bros. 3 came out just before Super Mario Galaxy I would have thought so. I just don�t remmeber Chad screaming �BEST WEEK EVAR!� at any point).

That�s me for this week.

So, two blogs in a day. And not related to the European Virtual Console. Can't you tell it's Saturday night and I've nowhere to go. Just saw this video on YouTube and was thinking how awesome it would be to live here.



Onett from Earthbound in 3D, but based on the original sprites. Pretty sweet, huh? Who wouldn't kill to live here.

On a relatively related note, I got to thinking before, how would you personally pronounce 'Onett'. The reason I ask is because I've always pronounced it "On-Ett", since I first saw it in Smash Bros. but I was actually playing Earthbound the other week and noticed that the other towns were called 'Twoson', 'Threed' and 'Fourside'. Would that then mean it was pronounced "Won-ett"?