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Argo sucks
Dale North | 12:23 PM on 11.21.2008 25 comments




In response to my recent front page post, I wanted to respond personally to say how much Shadow of the Colossus' Argo sucks, especially when compared to Ocarina of Time's Epona.

First, let me say that Shadow of the Colossus is one of my favorite games of all time, easily ranking above Ocarina of Time for me. So it's not that.

I'm not talking on the story aspects of the horses here. I'm talking about the basic functions required as a transportation/battle horse.

Okay, horses are bred for only one thing (other than Meat in other countries), and that's to run a fucking straight line. Right? Well, this asshole couldn't run a straight line to save his life. Pun? Yes.

I died so many fucking times because of his half-assed running. Move, turn around. go this way you dick.

And what a shit turning radius for a horse when he was turning. All the dude could do is veer. Not turn. Not walk straight. Fucking veer left or right.

Worst is his lack of courage! He gets scared by anything. Even fucking steam coming out of the ground. He rares up on his hind legs like some kind of fucking pansy horse at anything.

I will say that my opinion has changed a bit after finding his move list, though. But he still sucks compared to Epona.

Epona was obedient as fuck. She stayed where you told her to stay, and ran when you called her. That's all I ask for in a horse. Not this veering and pansy-ass raring up.



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25 comments | showing # 1 to 25

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MrSadistic's Destructoid Blog
you are so mean :(
BlindsideDork's Destructoid Blog
I hated horse riding, worst part about the game.
shipero's Destructoid Blog
Mr. Ed is better than the lot of 'em.
Funky Goodness's Destructoid Blog
Goddamn it those controls sucked so much. Luckily overall, it made up for them...
Raccoonus's Destructoid Blog
Yeah, Argo PISSED me off during so many battles when I'd slightly push the analog stick to make him turn and he'd go in the OPPOSITE direction. Not cool, Argo. Not cool at all.
Qraze's Destructoid Blog
Altair's horses were a fun ride but oblivions didn't do so well for me. still haven't played SotC but will eventually. after i do ico maybe.
F Whipple's Destructoid Blog
hahaha
king3vbo's Destructoid Blog
BUT HE DIED FOR YOUR SINS
the Golden Avatar's Destructoid Blog
His name isn't Argo.
brainderailment's Destructoid Blog
I thought his name was Agro, shows how dyslexic I am.
the Golden Avatar's Destructoid Blog
@brainderailment

You're so dyslexic you come right out the other side.
Gregory Hall's Destructoid Blog
I'm sorry but I'm gonna go against the grain on this one. Argo was one of the believable and fantastic animals in gaming history. Of course a horse would get confused and of course it wouldn't always go the way you want, that’s the whole idea of riding a living animal, he's not a fucking car.

They simply gave him a brain, he wants to avoid getting hurt, and he doesn't want to run into walls or run off cliffs. If you want him to run in a straight line then try not running him towards walls or over cliffs for once, you'll find that he runs perfectly straight when travelling through wide-open areas like the wasteland.
Demtor's Destructoid Blog
If anyone has ever actually ridden a horse before, you'd know Agro is the most realistic of the two. Horses don't just go left/right because you want them to. You have to guide them, not drive them. Thats what the developers were going for, its a design choice just like everything else in SotC.

Epona was a lifeless car compared to Agro.
Rockvillian's Destructoid Blog
I thought he was perfect, and controlled like an actual horse does. You want realism in games... there you go.
kawitchate's Destructoid Blog
yeah i think they were going for realism in SotC. sure it was annoying at times, but hey, that's horses for ya.
Tubatic's Destructoid Blog
What those last four guys said.
Wexx's Destructoid Blog
If you weren't so amazing, I'd be mad.
BulletMagnet's Destructoid Blog
Realism is all well and good, but I found myself grumbling at it far more than admiring it, in this case. "Lifeless" she might be, but Epona would go where you told her to, and is definitely my preferred ride, despite how much I like SotC overall.
Marc of Arabia's Destructoid Blog
I can't think of a defense so you...um..suck. a lot.

Meanie :(
Jesus H Christ's Destructoid Blog
Sorry you suck at video games, Dale. SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Joseph Leray's Destructoid Blog
Agro is a better horse because he has a personality: like Gregory Hall mentioned, he has needs and fears and a brain, and he's the only thing in the game with a name. You're supposed to treat him like a sidekick, not a tool.

Of course the controls are a little spotty -- it's a brilliant display of the technical matching the thematic. It's genius.
TheCleaningGuy's Destructoid Blog
His name is AGRO, A G R O.
Just call the horse and listen!
Also, what Joseph Leray said.
link331's Destructoid Blog
@thecleaningguy, thanks for clarifying that. No one can seem to get his freaking name right.
welkstar's Destructoid Blog
Poor Agro... I still <3 him.
Lucca's Destructoid Blog
Agro was cool. Haven't played Zelda, so can't compare.

But you can't be mad at the poor horsie. What would Barbie say?


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