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Argo sucks
Dale North | 12:23 PM on 11.21.2008 27 comments




In response to my recent front page post, I wanted to respond personally to say how much Shadow of the Colossus' Argo sucks, especially when compared to Ocarina of Time's Epona.

First, let me say that Shadow of the Colossus is one of my favorite games of all time, easily ranking above Ocarina of Time for me. So it's not that.

I'm not talking on the story aspects of the horses here. I'm talking about the basic functions required as a transportation/battle horse.

Okay, horses are bred for only one thing (other than Meat in other countries), and that's to run a fucking straight line. Right? Well, this asshole couldn't run a straight line to save his life. Pun? Yes.

I died so many fucking times because of his half-assed running. Move, turn around. go this way you dick.

And what a shit turning radius for a horse when he was turning. All the dude could do is veer. Not turn. Not walk straight. Fucking veer left or right.

Worst is his lack of courage! He gets scared by anything. Even fucking steam coming out of the ground. He rares up on his hind legs like some kind of fucking pansy horse at anything.

I will say that my opinion has changed a bit after finding his move list, though. But he still sucks compared to Epona.

Epona was obedient as fuck. She stayed where you told her to stay, and ran when you called her. That's all I ask for in a horse. Not this veering and pansy-ass raring up.



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25 comments | showing # 1 to 25
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MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 12:36
MrSadistic
you are so mean :(
BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 12:40
BlindsideDork
I hated horse riding, worst part about the game.
shipero's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 12:43
shipero
Mr. Ed is better than the lot of 'em.
Funky Goodness's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 13:06
Funky Goodness
Goddamn it those controls sucked so much. Luckily overall, it made up for them...
Raccoonus's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 13:26
Raccoonus
Yeah, Argo PISSED me off during so many battles when I'd slightly push the analog stick to make him turn and he'd go in the OPPOSITE direction. Not cool, Argo. Not cool at all.
Qraze's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 13:29
Qraze
Altair's horses were a fun ride but oblivions didn't do so well for me. still haven't played SotC but will eventually. after i do ico maybe.
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 13:30
F Whipple
hahaha
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 13:33
king3vbo
BUT HE DIED FOR YOUR SINS
the Golden Avatar's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 13:35
the Golden Avatar
His name isn't Argo.
the Golden Avatar's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 13:38
the Golden Avatar
@brainderailment

You're so dyslexic you come right out the other side.
Gregory Hall's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 14:10
Gregory Hall
I'm sorry but I'm gonna go against the grain on this one. Argo was one of the believable and fantastic animals in gaming history. Of course a horse would get confused and of course it wouldn't always go the way you want, that’s the whole idea of riding a living animal, he's not a fucking car.

They simply gave him a brain, he wants to avoid getting hurt, and he doesn't want to run into walls or run off cliffs. If you want him to run in a straight line then try not running him towards walls or over cliffs for once, you'll find that he runs perfectly straight when travelling through wide-open areas like the wasteland.
Demtor's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 14:21
Demtor
If anyone has ever actually ridden a horse before, you'd know Agro is the most realistic of the two. Horses don't just go left/right because you want them to. You have to guide them, not drive them. Thats what the developers were going for, its a design choice just like everything else in SotC.

Epona was a lifeless car compared to Agro.
Rockvillian's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 14:34
Rockvillian
I thought he was perfect, and controlled like an actual horse does. You want realism in games... there you go.
kawitchate's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 14:41
kawitchate
yeah i think they were going for realism in SotC. sure it was annoying at times, but hey, that's horses for ya.
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 14:53
Tubatic
What those last four guys said.
Wexx's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 14:58
Wexx
If you weren't so amazing, I'd be mad.
BulletMagnet's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 15:28
BulletMagnet
Realism is all well and good, but I found myself grumbling at it far more than admiring it, in this case. "Lifeless" she might be, but Epona would go where you told her to, and is definitely my preferred ride, despite how much I like SotC overall.
Marc of Arabia's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 15:41
Marc of Arabia
I can't think of a defense so you...um..suck. a lot.

Meanie :(
Jesus H Christ's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 16:00
Jesus H Christ
Sorry you suck at video games, Dale. SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Joseph Leray's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/21/2008 17:34
Joseph Leray
Agro is a better horse because he has a personality: like Gregory Hall mentioned, he has needs and fears and a brain, and he's the only thing in the game with a name. You're supposed to treat him like a sidekick, not a tool.

Of course the controls are a little spotty -- it's a brilliant display of the technical matching the thematic. It's genius.
TheCleaningGuy's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/22/2008 14:35
TheCleaningGuy
His name is AGRO, A G R O.
Just call the horse and listen!
Also, what Joseph Leray said.
Onsets Math Jaw's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/23/2008 20:59
Onsets Math Jaw
@thecleaningguy, thanks for clarifying that. No one can seem to get his freaking name right.
welkstar's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/23/2008 21:10
welkstar
Poor Agro... I still <3 him.
Lucca's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/19/2009 06:41
Lucca
Agro was cool. Haven't played Zelda, so can't compare.

But you can't be mad at the poor horsie. What would Barbie say?
32BitSin's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2011 13:06
32BitSin
I had no problems with the virtual animal, Argo. Played both games and thought Argo was x10 better than Epona. Argo held its own in crucial moments for me; like in the giant turtle battle. Plus, I agree with the assessment that a few users described, he was supposed to act like a HORSE, not a car.

The only thing I liked better about Epona was that you called it with an instrument, and not just a whistle. Then again, I like animals that respond by name, which Argo did with no problems when I played.




PS. He could run straight when necessary.

PPS. I cannot wait to play SotC on PS3!
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