UmUhUhUmmYouKnow.mp3

This is my tribute to Mr. Browntown himself, Destructoid's own Samit Sarkar. Podtoid listeners have called him out for his abusive use of "um" and "uh" and "you know," you know. Give the mix a listen -- at the end you'll hear a string of all the individual ums and so forth pulled out of ONE episode of Podtoid.

Special thanks to Conrad Zimmerman for the inspiration and the help with the cutting up of audio.

Also like:
-community/readers (best fucking people on earth)
-unique voice
-co-workers
-paycheck

As performed by Thomas the Tank Engine


Come on run away
You don't have to stay
We're nearly outta time
But you're doin' fine
So stay on track
And don't look back
Just feel the pace
Come on now race
Everybody's Super Sonic Racing
Try to keep your feet right on the ground
When you're Super Sonic Racing
There's no time to look around
We're just Super Sonic Racing
Running to the point of no return
Everybody's Super Sonic Racing
C'mon let the fire burn

Everybody, everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody, everybody
Everybody
Everybody!

Everybody's Super Sonic Racing
Try to keep your feet right on the ground
When you're Super Sonic Racing
There's no time to look around
We're just Super Sonic Racing
Running to the point of no return
Everybody's Super Sonic Racing
C'mon let the fire burn

Don't you know
We really have to go
To a place
Where you can feel my heart just race
(Yeah, yeah)

Everybody's Super Sonic Racing
Try to keep your feet right on the ground
When you're Super Sonic Racing
There's no time to look around
We're just Super Sonic Racing (Super Sonic Racing)
Running to the point of no return
Everybody's Super Sonic Racing
C'mon let the fire burn

Everybody, everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody, everybody
Let's go
Super Sonic Racing
Everybody, everybody, everybody, (oh yeah)
Let's go
(Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah)
Super Sonic Racing
Let's go
C'mon c'mon yeah
C'mon c'mon yeah
C'mon, c'mon
Let's go
Everybody, everybody, everybody
Yeah everybody
Let's go
Super Sonic Racing
Oh, yeah
Super Sonic Racing (Let's go)
Yeah
Everybody, everybody
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Let's go
Everybody
Everybody
Everybody

First off, the Dtoid community is fucking amazing. I keep putting this off, but here it is now.

1. I get ridiculous road rage. One one now infamous roadtrip with friends, I punched out a windshield in heavy traffic. The next day, while everyone was out partying, I was getting my windshield fixed.

2. I have an earring. I don't wear it much anymore. It's leftover from my wannabe rock star days.

3. I've had almost 40 jobs. The list is far too long to mess with now, but I'll put it up some day. Highlights include: Chimney sweep, medical tech assistant, fast food manager, computer technician, piano teacher, film developer, onion ring maker...

4. Music is my other life. People know about my connection to the OneUps, but they don't know the other things that I do aside from my full-time job as a geek journo. They don't know that I've sold songs as a songwriter to several publishing companies, work regularly as a musical engineer, have worked on going on 70 albums or projects for various independent artists and clients, and have a signed a contract to work on a pending Xbox 360 title next year as a composer.

5. I used to own a computer store. It was a local upstart that was making 10s of thousands in profit monthly by its first half year. Co-owned with four partners. We did service and repair for school districts, custom builds for public. Then a corrupt treasurer started stealing. The end.

6. I look like shit in a hat. I can't wear hats. They look fucking stupid and unnatural on me.

7. I've been arrested so many times that it's not even funny. Never convicted. Always arrested. Some things I've been picked up or questioned for : hit-and-run assualt (seriously), theft of WWII medals, theft of scrap metal, drunken fighting, throwing molotov cocktails, not shipping an eBay sale in a timely manner...

8. I get extreme motion sickness. I will not sit in the back of the van. I will not play FPS on anything bigger than 60" screens. And those simulated roller coaster rides? They fuck me every time. There's one at Disney World that goes through the human body on a virtual tour. It nearly killed me.

9. I grew up in Tokyo. From just after Kindergarden until almost 7th grade. When I go back to visit, it's not the Japanophile in me that takes over -- it's childhood memories. There's a fondness that I experience there that I can't explain, and it has nothing to do with games, anime, or manga. I love that city with all my heart.

10. I'm a former fatty. It was short-lived, but not easily forgotten. For the majority of my life, I've been excessively thin. Enough so that a teacher called a parent conference to question my 'rents for malnourishment. I stayed that way until the fall of the store in item #5. I got a bit depressed for about a year. Started working part-time selling games at Babbages (remember that shit?). I got over the depression quick, and I think food helped. I've always been a foodie, but with all that time doing nothing else, I ate and gamed and ate. Went from being thin to hitting a high I'm embarrassed to mention. Now? I'm normal. I have a very healthy diet and weigh in at about 185lbs.. In the end it worked out. Now I'm not scarily thin (size 29 jeans anyone?) and look like a normal human being.

I had a problem with my bank account. I always do as a full-time blogger. I call the bank and ask for help. And instead of that help, I get this:

"Which team are you rooting for?"

I respond: "The anti-sports team."

She scoffs and goes about fixing things for me. Not my income, but that's another c-blog post.

It just reminded me of how much I dislike sports. The face painting, the tailgate parties, the unnatural support thrown behind a group of men that just happen to live in the same town you do. Or men that go to the same school.

Or your life centered around a ball.

It's just fucking silly. I understand being a fan of things, like I am of videogames. I just can't relate to those that are on a one-track path to Super Bowl Sunday. They don't know anyone on the field. Nothing is going to happen in their lives if their team wins or loses. Nothing in their live changes (unless they're betting).

When they scream at the television, no one hears them. No one cares about your sporting-themed clothing except the others that wear it, and maybe those that wear an opposing team's garb.

Sport fans -- if you're that into a ball going back and forth, play a sports videogame! At least then you'll be entertained by something you can control.

Ok, i'm starting to sound stupid myself. There's even a .org page for all of the haters. I wouldn't go as far as saying "free our schools!" or whatever they're trying to say.

I'm just saying that sports aren't that big of a deal. Stop freaking the fuck out.

Seriously? Read this and compare this man's crisis to your life:


DRAMA

The second page of this thread gets pretty classy as the conversation moves to the above pictured avatar of one member.