Ron "named after Harry Potter's bitch" Workman is back! I've seen it with my own eyes as he stumbled down some stairs into a back alley to give a hobo some oral pleasure for money. Jokes on him, hobos don't have money!
I assume in his absences he was attempting to out drink me by traveling to Tijuana and consuming rare tequilas that give you massive drunkenness power (but seriously decrease your Eve). I laugh at this, as I traveled there too and replaced all the tequila with ill tasting water! You're only acting drunk, Ron, stop faking and man up. Meanwhile I've deposited more liqueurs in my body than David Hasselhoff, Mel Gibson and Lindsay Lohan on a bender in LA.
Not seeing straight, Ron? Fuck that, I've gone blind.
Can't walk easily? Bullshit, I've resorted to crawling and even that is getting really hard.
Vomiting up lunch? Are you even trying Ron? I've puked up my stomach so I can't even eat lunch in order to vomit it up.
Listen, Ron, buddy, pal, dude, gaylord, if you really want to catch up try these:
But for cereals Ron, good to have you back telling me how much I suck. Feel the love? Good, cause I'm so drunk I can't feel anything!