Quantcast
Destructoid - Cowzilla3's Community Blog




About Me
Hi,
Names Matt Razak and I'm just a gamer with a Wii and a 360. I'm also really, really, really, ridiculously good looking and a ninja...and humble. If you haven't noticed from my selfless self promoting or my Monday reviews I'm a film critic for a living at a local newspaper in Northern Virginia. I write at That VideoGame Blog but my heart will always belong to D-toid.

Right now I'm working on these games:
Mario Kart Wii


Things I've Done or Am Doing

Front Paged
Music In Gaming
What is a Hero?: Sonic
Good Idea, Bad Idea: Casual Gaming
What No More Heroes Really Means
Social Activism in Gaming
Educate Yourself - Castlevania
Start of the Affair
What is a Hero?: Lara Croft
Wii Fit Review

Recognizing Your Gaming Journalist
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Drinks Ron Workman Can't Handle
Metroid Mojito
Mario Mudslide, The Super Punch Out, Princess Peach Schnapps
Pikachu Punch, Triforce Triple
DK Daquiri, Yoshi Jager, Mother Brain Drain (MBD)
Rocks on the Scotch, Bowser Bad Ass

Interviews With Famous People
Nick Frost, Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright
Richard Shepard
Michael Davis
Jason Schwartzman

What Happened?
The First
My Favorite One
To be continued...?
Obviously there are tons more, but I'm not linking them all.

Interesting Walls of Text
Gaming Journalsim
How do we discuss games as art?
MAGFest
My Great Concern



What is a Hero?
Introduction
Link
Solid Snake
Mario
Samus
Master Chief

Educate Yourself
Kid Icarus
Kid Icarus Final Impressions
Splatterhouse
Splatterhouse Final Impressions
Fall Out

Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam:
Battle:
PSN:
Mii: 4283 6222 8765 8660
Gamertag: Cowzilla3
Following (48)
-D-
A New Challenger
Aaron Mxy Yost
Andrew Benton
BahamutZero
BlindsideDork
Bob Muir
Brian Szabelski
Butmac
Char Aznable
Coonskin05
Count Grishnack
Cowzilla3
CronosBlade
dgenerate
DtoidBaltimoreDC
Excremento
FAILCAST
flameon4444
Hamza CTZ Aziz
HarassmentPanda
Hitogoroshi
Jim Sterling
Johnny Blaze
Jonathan Holmes
king3vbo
kwaselow
LethalHairdo
LordRegulus
Morrius
Nick Chester
Niero
Riser Glen
Rockvillian
russiaisHERE
shipero
Snaileb
soul3150
tazarthayoot
the GAMEGOBLIN
The GHost
Tiff
Topher Cantler
Tristero
Tron Knotts
Upgrayedd
VWGTI
ZombiePlatypus
The Original Draft of Nintendo's Wii Remote Cover Press Release
Cowzilla3 | 12:41 PM on 10.03.2007 12 comments


So I'm sure we all turned on our Wii the second we saw that blue disk drive blinking and by now we all know one way or another that we can get a free sleeve for our Wii remote so we don't, you know, harm ourselves or our expensive televisions because we are all five time towards retarded. You realize that people put soft padding around things so that simple people won't hurt themselves? This being said I found the message and the press release Nintendo put out incredilby understanding and could not believe it was what was originally written. So I did some Matlocking and amazingly I found the original draft of the message we all recieved on our Wiis. It follows here:









Dear Valued Nintendo Customer,
You are retarded and its costing us 17 million dollars. In the future please HOLD ON TO THE FUCKING CONTROLLER. I mean really! You threw something at your television! What the fuck did you think was going to happen. Now we know this new Wii remote covering looks a little like a condom but please do not use it as one, we only say this because it is clear you lack any reason or motor skills. In fact you know what, just stop playing. It's not worth it.
Sincerly,
Nintendo

It's the truth...I swear...original rough draft. In fact I couldnt' get the rights to the photo but Miyamoto literally face palmed his face so hard he broke his nose.



Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

0



Post a comment! You can also post a photo below:

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

11 comments | showing # 1 to 11
prev next

king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/03/2007 12:53
king3vbo
epic facepalm
Tino's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/03/2007 12:58
Tino
My wrist strap broke but the remote didn't go anywhere. I was holding it like your supposed to. Idoits that don't know how to hold something in their damn hand.
Das Inchworm's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/03/2007 13:02
Das Inchworm
when i went to the phantom hourglass release at nintendo world, some old lady almost broke one of the huge flat screens. it missed by inches and the controller was obliterated. I bet she wished she had a jacket.
Tristero's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/03/2007 13:05
Tristero
Very funny. If I wasn't allergic to the abbreviation for laughing out loud, I would have typed it here. Good work, my friend.
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/03/2007 13:15
MaxVest
Next stop: Nerf controllers.

Wait, that would rule!
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/03/2007 13:16
Cowzilla3
Triestero do you break out in rashes shaped like emoticons?
-D-'s Avatar - Comment posted on 10/03/2007 13:58
-D-
Cereal business, Cowzilla...nice work!
A New Challenger's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/03/2007 14:35
A New Challenger
............................................________
....................................,.-‘”...................``~.,
.............................,.-”...................................“-.,
.........................,/...............................................”:,
.....................,?......................................................\,
.................../...........................................................,}
................./......................................................,:`^`..}
.............../...................................................,:”........./
..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../
............./__.(.....“~-,_..............................,:`........../
.........../(_....”~,_........“~,_....................,:`........_/
..........{.._$;_......”=,_.......“-,_.......,.-~-,},.~”;/....}
...........((.....*~_.......”=-._......“;,,./`..../”............../
...,,,___.\`~,......“~.,....................`.....}............../
............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-”
............/.`~,......`-...............................\....../\
.............\`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....\,__
,,_..........}.>-._\...................................|..............`=~-,
.....`=~-,_\_......`\,.................................\
...................`=~-,,.\,...............................\
................................`:,,...........................`\..............__
.....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``
........................................_\..........._,-%.......`\
...................................,<`.._|_,-&``................`\
A New Challenger's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/03/2007 14:35
A New Challenger
Stupid avatar, cutting Picard's skull off.
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/03/2007 14:42
Cowzilla3
holy crap challenger that was sweet.
FuriousGeorge's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/03/2007 16:35
FuriousGeorge
no demand for suicide FTL
prev next

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!