Listen. It's the future. We're playing videogames with our feet and if you look around you you'll notice everyone is wearing silver jump suits, has crazy future glasses on and we all live and work in terribly angular houses and buildings. That's right the predicted future of every bad 1980's movie has actually come true. It won't be long before the impending Apocollypse occurs and we all dress up like gay bikers and start battling it out in Australia or that sewer system thing in LA.

So while we still have time and civilization is about us let me introduce to the greatest word ever conceived by man. Gorglenox. In the future, which is now, it will mean cool, awesome, bad ass. Or I guess it does mean cool, awesome and badass since now is then in this case. The point being Gorglenox is here to stay. Even my hip and with it girl friend uses it as is evidenced by this Gmail chat.

Ashley: what is Gorglenox?
me: it'll mean cool in the future
I made it up
Sent at 9:00 AM on Tuesday
Ashley: ohhhhhh...that is so gorglenox
(Note: I did not actually make up gorglenox. The future did.)

Indeed it is. But you may be asking yourself, "Gee, I really like that word because it is from the future, which is now, and because it is awesome, but how do I use it? I don't even know how to speak future speak." Don't worry, this is a very normal reaction to learning of future words which are actually right now words. It's quite simple. Even a future baby, which is a now baby, could do it.



Note in the above picture the ease with which the baby is saying gorglenox. It is in fact so easy he's also taking a dump at the same time. If you do not believe this is a future baby please note the future hair and the future aura being given off by him. Also of note is that the child is speaking in apocolypitc style lettering further warning of how extremely fucking nigh the end is. But I digress back to the words use. All you have to do is put it in a sentence in place of words from the past, which is not now, like cool, awesome, badass, rock, eloquent, interesting, pope, ram rod or suplex. There you have it, you're using a future word with grace and ease. Let's take a look at how Bobby and Sara do it in this retro style Japanese video for teaching English which some how predicted the use of gorglenox because the Japanese actually live in the future, which isn't now because Japanese now is our future and while our future is now their future is even further away.



As you can see it's very simple. So start getting to it because otherwise you won't be able to use it anymore thanks to the gay bikers and the aliens who look like they're made of plastic. They'll hate the word and make you say something like "flamhammer" which is just stupid.