Dear Mr. Workman, - Destructoid

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Names Matt Razak and I'm just a gamer with a Wii and a 360 and PS3. I'm also really, really, really, ridiculously good looking and a ninja...and humble. I'm the Editor and Chief at Flixist.

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9:49 PM on 08.05.2007

I hear you drink...

and from the rumors and insinuations it sounds like you drink often and well. I applaud you as drinking is one of mans finest and most ancient sports. But, my good man, if that is true why are you not keeping us completely up to date on Sommelier DS which launched in July on the DS!

How has it changed the worlds wine making decisions? Are the Japanese now better at getting drunk off of wine than Americans are? What about the British? Have they even topped the French? Why is the man in this video the worst spokes person ever? Did he get beat up by Japanese wine aficionados for using a DS in a wine store? How will you get answers without Japanator? I seek your advice and help in all these questions and more.

But wait, maybe the fact is that wine is not your drink of choice. This is a choice I make with you, good sir, as I find wine can lead to a nasty hang over in the morning, especially if you drink the entire bag. But NAY! This is not an excuse for you or any man with such great power as the front page of Destructoid and a tag line as stupendifurous as "look I drink..." For if, my fine fellow, you look closely at the above image, and magically read Japanese, you shall see that Bartender DS is coming out later this year! A DS game designed around helping you and all others mix drinks. What kind of drinks, you ask, with baited trepidation? Who knows!? The secret drinks the DS may hold could sky rocket your drinking ability to astronomical heights! Think of the power of the Mario Mud Slide, the awe inspiring knock out punch of The Super Punch Out or the subtle cool stupor of the Metroid Mojito.

No I don’t think it’s a gay drink. Moooojjjjjitooo.

Now I am sure the gentlemen and ladies of this fine page have been aware of these games even if no front page post has been made (that I can find via search), but even if there has been one and even if all of America knows, I humbly request to know what you, as lead drinkinator of villages, are doing about the games Japan only release. Mr. Workman I must request...NO I MUST DEMAND that you do everything in your awesome power to at least bring this country Bartender DS in the future if the opportunity arises. Think of the service you could do: The poor house wife, who until now has only used her DS for training her brain, could finally sink her sorrows in alcohol via the DS; the lowly worker may mix a drink at lunch while claiming to simply be playing a game; the under age drinker could finally responsibly mix drinks without tipping off his parents; the drinking games that college students would create will bring a tear to even the driest eye. You have the power; your main page is viewed by millions! A petition, a protest, a movement, a revolution is needed, oh lord of the post.

Please do anything you can so that one day I, much like you, can drink...

Your humble servant in drinking

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