BEHOLD!! THE FIRST ANNUAL DESTRUCTOID UNOFFICIAL COMMUNITY AWARDS!!



Before we begin, I’d like to personally thank the community for such an outstanding turnout for what initially started as a drunken revelation. While it may be a bit flawed, this is the Destructoid Unofficial IRC’s holiday gift to everyone.

Along with the standard awards fare that you might find with any end of the year feature, the IRC has come up with a few awards that are representative of the unique qualities of Destructoid. In addition to a quick description of each game, I have included some notable quotes from past c-blogs that are related in some way to each game.

Love them or hate them, here are your picks for the best games of the year!


BEST RACING GAME



Burnout Paradise (PS3, Xbox 360)

This category wasn’t even close. Criterion Games did a great job creating seamless transitions from their single and multiplayer environments. Add that to the plethora of free DLC that they keep churning out, and you have one of the greatest racing games of all time.

Here is what the community thought....


“Overall I'm in love with this game. The open world enviroment plus all the exploration to be done coupled with the online co-op challenges and the mayhem included caused me a great amount of joy.” -- CronosBlade

“Paradise... If you looked it up in the dictionary, it'd refer you towards Burnout Paradise, which in return would refer you to the word fun. Which is the most accurate description of the first hour I had with this game. Pure, unrated, unadulterated, uncompromising, fun.” -- Daxelman

Best Sports Game


NHL 09 (PC, PS2, PS3, Xbox360)

It is rare that a sports game earns high acclaim from both the hardcore and casual videogame communities. NHL 09 was the first game in a long time to break the mold of what a sports game should be. A simplified control scheme (NHL 94 controls) for the casual gamers, and robust “Be a Pro” and Online modes for the hockey enthusiast, guaranteed that this game could be a resounding success in all gaming circles.

Here’s what the community thought...

”...grab a few friends, a case of Molson and throw on some toques and enjoy this wonderful piece of software.”--CelicaCrazed

”NHL 09 is the pinnacle of hockey gaming -- and it may very well be the best sports game I’ve ever had the sublime pleasure of playing.”--Samit Sarkar


BEST FIGHTING GAME



Super Smash Bros Brawl (Wii)

HOLY CRAP WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!?!? Seriously!?! In a year that saw the release of epic fighting game releases like Super Street Fighter II: Turbo HD Remix and Soul Calibur IV, you saw it fit to vote a children’s game as fighting game of the year? Blasphemy I tell you!!

(I kid.. it was a decent game, but over SFIITHDR!?!?!)

Here’s what the community said...

”or once, I'm on a level playing field with my other Smash-loving friends; I can play as Snake and have just as good a chance of beating Falco since he can't do his little short-hop laser thing anymore. I'm intensely worried that we'll find some Brawl equivalents to L-cancelling and wavedashing which will stupidly be accepted by the Smash community as perfectly legal, but, for now, I'm really enjoying myself.”--Rev. Anthony Burch

”...the game is simply fun, which is the most important reason to play any game. Despite my gripes, I still have a blast playing against friends and the computer alike. It’s one of only a small handful of games my girlfriend even attempts to pick up and play with me, so that means a lot to me, too.”-- B-Radicate

BEST RPG



Fallout 3 (PC, PS3, Xbox 360)

When asked to describe Fallout 3, most people would just say that the game plays like “Oblivion with guns.” However, this doesn’t even begin to describe the amount of content and detail that Bethesda have packed into this game. While I think Persona 4 would have given Fallout 3 a run for its money if it would have come out earlier, Fallout 3 is unquestionably one of the greatest RPGs of this year.

Here is what the community thought...

”The recreation of the D.C. area is amazing. At one point I forgot to ask an NPC where the National Archives were for one quest, so I looked it up on Google maps. Turned out that it was exactly where it was supposed to be.”--Professor Pew

”Heads explode nicely in Fallout 3.”--Randombullseye


BEST USE OF FACIAL HAIR IN A VIDEOGAME



Fallout 3 (PC, PS3, Xbox 360)

A Kotaku article quoted Bethesda’s Todd Howard saying,

“There are not scars or tattoos you can pick. But, there are beards. And not just any beards. We have them all. We have the most ridiculous list of beards in any game, ever. One of our artists went crazy with beards and didn't stop.”

This doesn’t even begin to explain the level of epicness that these beards reach. In fact, they are so epic, that pictures of said beards cannot be captured by traditional means. One actually has to go in game to experience these amazing beards. Well played, Bethesda... well played.

BEST SHOOTER



Left 4 Dead (PC, Xbox 360)

When asked for a paragraph explaining why Left 4 Dead was worthy of the “Best Shooter” accolade, IRC delivered.

“vexed alex: Zombies + Co-op = Win
vexed alex:That is all
topgear: L4D let's you shoot zombies in a team
[Shitmas]:PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS”

Thanks IRC...

Here’s what other (sober) community members thought...

“I suddenly realized that Left 4 Dead gives me almost the opposite feeling to Mirror's Edge. With the latter, I only feel like I can have fun when I'm doing well; when I'm not getting stuck or messing up. With the former, however, I'm having fun all the time - but especially when everything goes completely and utterly wrong.”--SurplusGamer

”Single player is spooky and gives me a boner. I big spooky halloween boner mind you. Boo Berry boner. Count bonerula. Frankenboner. I have to play it in my car so I can hide my boner type of boner.”--Ron NSFWorkman


BEST PLATFORMER



Braid (Xbox 360)

With only 10 votes separating the top 3 contenders in this category, we can be certain that 2008 was definitely great for the platforming genre. Mega Man 9 and LittleBigPlanet had a lot of votes, but ultimately it was Braid that took home the gold. With a mixture of odd time-based puzzle solving and a fantastic story, Jonathan Blow’s masterpiece was a benchmark for videogames this year. It proved that smaller titles can both be thought provoking and emotionally poignant.

Here is what the community thought...

”If Xbox Live Arcade was a radio station, Braid would be the Stairway to Heaven, the Freebird, the Beethoven's 9th played among all the Fall Out Boy songs. Please buy Braid.”--Coonskin05

”This shit stupid as hell. Whoooooooooooooop”--SouljaBoy


BEST ACTION/ADVENTURE



Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (PS3)

It’s funny that a game so saturated with cutscenes would be classified as an “Action/Adventure” game, but what little time you do have control of Snake in MGS 4 is nothing short of amazing. The sheer level of detail put into the graphics and music in this game qualify it for an Oscar, and the newly tweaked “Westernized” gameplay is a welcome addition to those new to the series.

Here is what the community thought...

”Metal Gear Solid Four: Guns of the Patriots: Tactical Espionage Action is an amazing game. If you have a PS3 rent it at the very least, but if you like plot, or guns, or graphics, or awesome, you should buy it. Now.”--CWal37

”The production is top notch, the gameplay is tight, the story, although convoluted, did manage to finally tie up those loose ends from the previous metal gears.”--thebza


BEST DOWNLOADABLE GAME



Castle Crashers (Xbox 360)

Only one vote managed to separate Castle Crashers from Braid in our online poll, making it one of the most arguable results. Some people thought that Castle Crasher’s beyond-broken online mode and wiped saves were enough to dismiss this game from any category. However, the quirky art style and amazing offline 4 player co-op were enough to get people behind Behemoth’s second XBLA offering. With the newly released patch for the game, many people are just now experiencing the full breadth of what this fantastic game has to offer.

Here is what the community thought...

”Castle Crashers is brilliant. The humour is fantastic and the gameplay and scenery surprises are happily welcomed, provided by a slick, cool graphical presentation. The multiplayer is something that should definitely be experienced by everyone and everything. So, if you have no Xbox Live friends, get your cat to play with you.”--Stuart Scofield

”What? What? I don't see what-oh! What witchery is this sir! The image alight on your screen. It moves sir! Of its own accord! This is devilry sir! Devil-what? Oh. Are you certain? Well. I am nerved sir, certainly, but if you assure me this is a work of your advanced science. Still it is so hard to apprehend. How sir--please, who draws those images? Possess you of a servant to shift them so? Amazing. Simply amazing.”--Altered Beets


BEST ONLINE GAME



Left 4 Dead (PC, Xbox 360)

This is undoubtedly one of the greatest online games of all time. Valve managed to take a relatively simple premise, (add a shit ton of zombies to EVERYTHING) and make it fully engaging. The online co-op demands that you work as a team, and guarantees that you’ll be cursing if you don’t play with people you know and trust to have your back.

Here is what the community thought...





BEST HANDHELD GAME



OK.. admittedly, this category is kind of a wash. While our drunken nominations may have been a bit lacking in other categories, the best handheld category was completely borked. We'll just forget that our list completely forgot about (arguably) the two best handheld games this year: The World Ends With You and Professor Layton. We promise to be a bit less drunk when we nominate games for this category next year.

THE VIDEOGAME INDUSTRY AGAINST THE ADVANCEMENT OF MINORITIES.. AKA "The Necros Award"



Microsoft (For allowing Soulja Boy to freely endorse their products)

While racial stereotypes can be found frequently in most types of entertainment media, the videogame industry has had some of the worst offenses lately. However, most attempts have fallen flat against one of the greatest travesties to hit the industry in years. The monstrosity that is known as Souja Boy has not only proudly displayed his obsession with the Xbox 360, but he has managed to do so in a manner that makes everyone around him dumber. Great job Soulja Boy!!! You've managed to make the entire gaming demographic look like uneducated retards.

Here is what the community thought...

" I'm still convinced that Soulja Boy is an incredibly constructed persona by an actually intelligent fellow. Maybe I'm fooling myself, but seriously, the guy is so loud and crass and in your face and yt still talknig about relevant things with completely Dali-esque non sequitur sound bytes like "(Tim is) Mario in the future" (I can't even type that without laughing, seriously) that he HAS to be the construct of a satirical genius. He IS A Modest Proposal. I mean, c'mon! He writes songs specifically to be used as ringtones!"--Brilliam

In reference to one of SB's fantastic tunes..."I fucking hate this song. I tried to figure out which one was more retarded, it or that “Chicken Noodle Soup” one, but my head exploded from the stupidity of it all."--Samit Sarkar

BEST XBOX 360 GAME



With Left 4 Dead winning a couple of the previous categories, I thought that it would certainly be a lock for Best Xbox 360 game. However, the community has elected Gears of War 2 the best 360 game of the year by a slim margin. Fantastic graphics, intense new modes, and a sprinkling of "holy shit" moments cemented this game as one of the pinnacles of this generation.

Here is what the community thought...

"All in all Gears of War 2 is an experience that no Xbox 360 owner should miss. I would go so far as to say that if you don’t own a 360 and you like third or first person shooters, this is the perfect reason to pick up the system."--DaedHead8

"It’s smooth, it’s fun, and the chainsaws make you feel all tingly inside. Seriously, if you love great single player and multiplayer experiences with negligible plot and design issues, then you were born for this game. Between the new weapons, gameplay, characters, and scenery, Gears of War 2 is a memorable journey through the depths of Seras and back. Just don’t talk about Maria and we’re cool. "--Benefactor

BEST PLAYSTATION 3 GAME



Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

I thought that fantastic games such as LittleBigPlanet and Valkyria Chronicles would have kept this category close, but the epic finale of the Metal Gear Solid series annihilated all other contenders. (MGS 4 won by over 50 votes in this category!!) Apparently Destructoid loves cutscenes.... hours and hours of glorious cutscenes.

Here is what the community said...

To this day I've replayed Metal Gear Solid 4 three times. Ultimately, the gamey-play is the most important part of any game. Every now and then I catch myself playing the game the way it's intended to be played. Stealthy. It's fun to pretend you're a super secret spy."--Vexed Alex

"I find myself constantly thinking of the amazing story(shit dialouge, really) and how it really gave the fans something incredibly special. Some of the gameplay sections were infintly memorable."--Mushman

BEST NINTENDO WII GAME



Super Smash Bros Brawl

After an amazing upset victory in the "Best Fighting Game" category, it would be hard not to pick this game as the best game on the Wii this year. A great single player campaign, multitudes of characters, and the inclusion of Sonic the Hedgehog cemented Super Smash Bros. Brawl's place amongst the greatest of Nintendo games.

Here is what the community thought:
"Best game evar? I think not. But its the exact same formula with more stuff, and I love it."--King3vbo

"The SSE is pretty much just a kirby game, and I welcome that because I fucking love kirby."--Reaprar


BEST PC GAME



Left 4 Dead

What is left to say about this game? It emanates greatness from all of its puss covered orifices. In a year that saw many great PC releases, Left 4 Dead once again proves that Valve gets PC gamers better than any other company. Now if they would just drop this episodic content bullshit, and get to work on Half-Life 3.

Here is what the community said...

:Their (Valve) latest release, Left 4 Dead, proves that multiplayer co-op is not dead but that many developers have been doing it wrong. It’s simple, easy to pick up, difficult to master, and a hell of a lot of fun."--Lurfadur

"Best multiplayer game ever. Wish I had a gaming PC for free new levels and mods/better players, but I'm still having a blast."--Grayfox

THE ABORTO THEFETUS "WORSE THAN CANCER" AWARD



Eternity's Child

You really didn't see that one coming, did you? I really can't say anything worse than what has already been said about this game. So I'll leave it to you guys...

"Yeah, there's a level editor, but saying the level editor makes the game better is like giving someone a crudely-drawn picture of a penis along with a pencil, and saying the pencil makes the picture itself better because you could hypothetically improve it."--Rev Anthony

"Whatever you do, don't buy this game. In fact, don't even say its name, for that might give its already unholy form power."--Conrad Zimmerman

[i]"question, did you play with controller or keyboard? because controller is unplayable"--Luc Bernard



THE UNOFFICIAL DESTRUCTOID IRC "BAG O' DICKS" AWARD



Luc Bernard

Not to beat a dead horse, but the D-toid community is an irritable bunch. Dyack and IRC favorite, thebez, kept this race close until the end, but the infamous Luc Bernard pulled out a sizable victory in the end. Congratulations Luc!! Our community has deemed you the person most deserving of a bag full of dickslaps.

Here is what the community said...


AND FINALLY..... THE MOMENT THAT NO ONE HAS BEEN WAITING FOR

GAME OF THE YEAR



FALLOUT 3 (PC, PS3, XBOX360)

In a year ripe with fantastic game releases, two PC titles stood out from the rest. Left 4 Dead and Fallout 3 were the one-two-punch that proved that PC gaming may still make a resurgence. These two games, along with the venerable Metal Gear Solid 4, kept the award race fairly interesting, but Fallout 3 was destined to take the prize.

Congrats to Bethesda for winning such a prestigious award.




I'd like to personally thank everyone that took time to humor us with this project. I'm drunk in TN with a shitty, hillbilly internet connection, and I almost didn't get this posted. I hope everyone stays safe tonight, and a great new year!