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Couch Crabs's blog

10:14 AM on 06.08.2013

Megabyte Punch: Better Than That PiPhi Punch That Made Me Blackout at Homecoming

Next thing I knew I was being shown pictures of myself wearing the school mascots giant Thomas Jefferson mask and I'd suddenly become single... but that's a story for another day. Today I'm here to tell you about Couch Crab's new indie game spotlight show: Download Dreams.

So long it's been since I've posted here telling stories of whatever it is we played whilst drinking cheap swill from the six pack shop uptown. For this rendition we journeyed deep into the heart of... twitter. We have retrieved for your viewing pleasure, the alpha copy of a new beat em up called Megabyte Punch.


In this episode (which isn't nearly as teal and orange as Moonrise Kingdom) we answer some of the great questions: What is this game? Is it fun? Where can you get? Who framed Rodger Rabbit?

S0 rejoice in these new tidings. I'm never drinking that sorority's punch again...   read

9:29 AM on 06.02.2013

VeggieTales: LarryBoy and the Bad Apple. The most unintentionally funny game yet

Many suns have set since we last cavorted merrily about our strange times playing the Japanese Rhythm game Project Diva F. We've seen Xbox One and Ps4 rumors come and go. We've seen a young caterpillar grown into a beautiful butterfly (we're not actually sure it was the same one). And we have heard a call in the night asking us that great question, what's a game we've never seen before.

So, we dug through the $5 or less bin at Gamestop and found a gem of gems. A diamond in a pile of old Madden and DDR games. That game is VeggieTales: LarryBoy and the Bad Apple. For an entire dollar sixty we are bringing you this unintentionally hilarious game.  Armed with nothing but our wits and a bottle of Jamieson, we attempt to conquer the first level of this game for your (and our own) amusement. 

We've busy this week since our first episode. We've since done a full play-through of teh first Timesplitters and had a romp with that werird Gamecube game Cubivore: Survival of the Fittest

We cordially invite you to indulge in VeggieTales: LarryBoy and the Bad Apple.

For future videos, we want to hear from the Destructoid community. What games do you want to see in the future? Feel free to leave us a comment and let us know.   read

8:45 AM on 05.28.2013

Presenting the Latest Sensation in Japanese Arcades: Project Diva

A silence. That calm before the storm. You have one moment. Once chance. Will you take it, or will you roll your eyes at this blatant Eminem reference? These are the thoughts buzzing through the heads of the Couch Crabs. For this week, the Couch Crabs face their biggest challenge yet: Project Diva


A few months ago the Couch Crabs embarked on a poorly conceived pilgrimage to Tokyo in search of arcades and reasonably priced sake we stumbled upon an arcade game with a line stretching around the floor.  It was Project Diva, the latest sensation in the Japanese arcade scene. It's an addictive rhythm game that tests your metal and visuals which trial how resistant you are from going into epileptic shock.

The Crabs purchased a copy and brought it back to Pittsburgh where armed with a case of High Life they will fight for the future of their souls. 


It's been a busy time for the crabs. Earlier a round of the Sega Saturn Classic: Bug Too! had them on the ropes. Now Diva has come for the knockout blow. 

Check out this video and learn a little bit about the amazing arcade culture in Japan.  It was an incredible time playing games in an environment that seldom exists back here at home. Feel free to subscribe to our channel to see part 2 of our run with Project Diva which will go up tomorrow morning. Later in the week will release the second chapter of our time with the bizarre Bug Too! and a romp through the first level of Dynasty Warriors: Gundam.

Cheers   read

7:19 AM on 05.23.2013

Have You Ever Contracted Crabs from Your Couch?: An Introduction

What happens when you search "Couch Crabs"? Well, you get a few humourous yahoo answers pages asking about whether or not the aforementioned place of sitting is a hot bed of STDs or STIs (whatever the kids call them now). Yesterday that all changed.  From the depths of a Pittsburgh suburb a new brand of affliction [s]sweet shirts, bro[/s] has arisen.

I present to you Couch Crabs a show where two friends yell at each other while playing Sega Saturn games; inspired by years of tradition. Every year for the past 5 or 6 years we would set aside a day where we would dust off my Sega Saturn and play all of the games I have for it.  Some games we never get past the first level, some are so laughably bad that we give up within a few minutes and one is an "Independence Day" movie tie-in game.


For our first outing we decided to play Mr. Bones. This game may very well be the most obscure, most bizarre, and most "so bad it's awesome" kind of thing.  I'd actually never beaten the first level until about 3 years ago when we decided to give it a shot.

But what does this all mean to you? Is it but a song in the night you dare not to sing? Is it that no smoking sign you want to smoke in front of and have your picture taken while doing it so you can upload it to facebook with the caption #YOLO? We think you'll find this channel like the one who got away. If that 'one' were two guys teeth deep in the unemployment line who like to make archaic movie references.

We decided to make ourselves aware here first because we love this website. We've been lurking in this community for years and figured that well... this is our audience. So please, whether you're just passing through or an indoctrinated member of 'The Shattered' take a peek at our first outing. We're still working the kinks out, and planning out what to do when we run through my rather inglorious Sega Saturn library. 

Now, you may find yourselves still wondering: what are Couch Crabs? We are more than a cheap video card, built-in MacBook microphone and a third of a case of Heineken Light. Simply said - it's your own soul looking into the void of eternity echoing that great question: Why?



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