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12:56 PM on 06.10.2009

Mommy Are The Monsters Gone - Episode 2

It's been over a year since sir Joe Burling and I recorded episode 1 of Mommy Are The Monsters gone. It was, at that time, a live video dealie. It is no longer that kind of dealie. It is another kind of dealie altogether. We have fired up the podcasting engine and are now joined by Sumizzle and Billzilla to deliver weekly geek-speak.

Hit this link (or click it, gingerly like you would an injured bird) if you'd like to know more about Joe's E3 experience, how Billzilla got stuck in Final Fantasy 4, how Sumizzle doesn't take much care to spare innocent passers-by in Infamous, or if you'd like to hear my incoherent ramblings.   read

1:35 AM on 06.06.2009

A- Out of Ten

I was out on Dell's gaming site ( listed a 15% off coupon for the site), and thought I'd share their rating system with you. Enjoy the screengrab (or don't).

Wow, I haven't posted anything in a long time.   read

2:47 PM on 11.20.2008

Zelda Commercials for your Eyeballs

Ok, here's what I know about this commercial. Link is probably a girl. Zelda is a girl, but has a man's voice. Together, they will defeat rubber puppet Gannon through dance.


Fact: This commercial is the inspiration for the next iteration of the Wii. Stick Puppet Control.. gonna revolutionize the industry.


I'm going to translate the girl's lines into English for you. "Eeeh, Uhhhh, OOoooeeooww."



[embed]112176:15940[/embed]   read

12:23 PM on 10.19.2008

$800 Ma$t3R cH33f$.. for.. oh man, HaloWeen?

Yeah. Halo Ween. Not funny, doesn't hafta be. This costume is $800. I want one for doing yard work in. I'd be the envy of the neighborhood.



5:59 AM on 09.12.2008

If this doesn't make you smile, you are dead inside.

As I watch the video, I am reminded of Revalation Chapter 13, Verse 4. Reflect with me, as you watch the video, won't you?

"And they worshipped the dragon which gave power unto the beast: and they worshipped the beast, saying, Who is like unto the beast? who is able to make war with him?"


Ya.. ya know?   read

11:58 PM on 06.04.2008

3 Things: GTA Driving - GRID Wanting - Batman Punches Shark


When I picked up GTA IV, I had just earned my "A" license in Burnout Paradise and was well on my way to the next (whatever that was.. "plaid" license, or "wookie" license or whatever). Burnout epitomizes arcade racing and, after spending some time with its cars, you feel like you've got absolute control over your vehicle. Switching over to GTA, I suspected I'd need some time to adjust to its driving model, which immediately seemed floaty and imprecise.

I'm 35 hours in and it still seems floaty and imprecise. All but a couple of the cars control like a 95 Chevy Astro with a raised suspension.

Don't get me wrong, I've been digging GTA IV, but I find myself taking cabs everywhere now because driving just isn't much fun. In past iterations of the game, I loved driving around and, save maybe some required cross-state trips in San Andreas, always enjoyed just getting from one place to another. I've still got my copy of Vice City, so I may go back and see if either A) The driving really was better before or B) My arcade driving tastes are just super-refined and now I'm a snob about it. Either way, everyone I've brought it up to seems to feel the same way, so I don't think I'm entirely alone on this one.


I was actually motivated to write the bit above after playing the 360 demo for GRID tonight. I didn't think I'd be game for a racer any time soon after Burnout and GTA, but the demo really impressed me. I just can't decide if I'd rather have it on PC or 360. The 360 is in the living room which is home to all the best gear in the house. Also, my chances of finding people I know to play online with are 100% better on console. While the PC might suffer a smaller display and inferior audio rig, I do have a decent Logitech wheel. If a game is actually designed to make proper use of a force feedback wheel (and considering that this is a Codemasters game, I'm sure it is) then its a much better experience with one than without (and I know there's a 360 wheel, but I don't have it and dont necessarily want a wheel that sits in my lap anyway). Lastly, although I know its sort of a non-factor, I'm pretty sre this is meant to be the successor to the Race Driver franchise and it just feels more at home on PC.


The impatient may want to skip directly to 2:20 for the goods. There's some funny to be had up to then, but if you really must skip, then thats where you need to be.

[embed]89164:11925[/embed]   read

1:38 PM on 06.02.2008

Cinci NARP - I ate a lot of wings. Like.. a ton.

I'm just now returning to the land of the living after a long, NARP-induced hibernation. I remember arriving, loading up a WiiMote candy despenser with Smarties, and setting up the PA. From there, its hot-sauce-soaked blur of wings, Amber Bock and people in GTA shirts partying like it was 1999 (it may have been!).

I had a blast playing, and huge thanks to everyone who hung outside and gave a listen. GuitarAtomik absolutely tore shit up (well done man!). The Call of Duty tourney and Rock Band marathons were both suitably epic. Joe, Ninoog, and Ron got this thing up off the ground in style. I was very impressed with how it all came together.

I wish I'd been around Friday night so I could have gotten to know some of you a little better, but it was awesome putting faces to names and meeting you all! Next time (and it seems clear there will be an epic NEXT TIME) I'll be sure to hang out at whatever hotel/brothel/bakery/baby-food-factory the crew is at for the duration.

I spent about 20 minutes snapping pics at the end of the night (beginning of "round 2" of the night ;-) ) but they pretty much didn't come out (Britini put up a flickr site, to which I posted the handful that are almost passable). Except the one below. That one is awesome (see Steamy, I told you that one out of every hundred would be cool! I think I said that, anyway. Maybe I said something else entirely. Something offensive and troubling. But I'm pretty sure I said the first thing!!)

NARP Flickr

Pedro's (kickass) pics

{edit: did I do like a 10 minute awful cosby impression in the hotel? Is that on a memory card somewhere? Can that memory card be destroyed/burned/fired into space?}

{edit 2: I put up this page a few days ago for shaemeless self promotion. So, uhm Click Here SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION!!!   read

10:57 PM on 04.26.2008

Okami Drawing Contest at DeviantArt

DeviantArt and Capcom are having an Okami themed contest (details here). The grand prize is a Wii, a copy of the game, and a DeviantArt subscription package. Not a bad haul :-)

This is my contest entry, drawn on my Tablet PC using Art Rage Starter Edition (which is the free version. It's a great app, check it out). Click the pic to get to a higher res version.

[embed]83512:10809[/embed]   read

3:45 PM on 03.06.2008

Zelda in Legos.

Just random GameVideos amusement. Should I be working right now?

[embed]74040:8876[/embed]   read

2:39 PM on 01.28.2008

MATMG: Episode 1 Follow-Up

That logo is all washed out. I'd fix it, but I recently picked up Rock Band and now I can't be bothered to do anything but rock the junk off those plastic drums.

Anyway, I thought I'd give a brief follow-up report on Episode 1 of Mommy Are The Monsters Gone?. Despite all my testing and Rock-Band-avoidance in getting set up for the thing, we had last minute technical difficulties with the audio. We went on about 15 minutes late and weren't able to grab audio for the promised podcast.

Technical glitches aside, I think our 8 viewers all enjoyed themselves. It was downright entertaining, as first tries go, and I'm prepared to call it a success. A Success. And then there was Joe's ass.. but then, I think that's how most stories end (don't believe me? Go read A Tale of Two Cities and TRY and tell me the ending isn't an elaborate allusion to Joe's ass).

There was ranting, there were unsubstantiated rumors, and there were Mad Libs.. which I'm going to call Mad Gibs or something. Look for Episode 2 this Thursday night. I'll post the details here a bit before-hand. Topic suggestions welcome (and possibly ignored)!

Ep1 Highlights:

* I can't change my GamerTag region. Angels weep.
* Squeenix might love on the 360 more than you think.
* UMD: Now with 80% less Vin Diesel!
* Joe's pretty positive you're never going to see a Blu Ray player on the 360. Like, very positive.
* Don't be shocked if GTA IV slips its release date one only one of the two systems. Why? REASONS!
* MGS: Snake Eater sold WAY better than I thought it did.

Namelessted was kind enough to capture some screens.   read

2:37 PM on 01.25.2008

Tonight! Buck F1tches and CosbyTron live: Mommy Are The Monsters Gone?

Hello All!

Tonight, Joe "Buck F1tches" Burling and I will be recording our first podcast, "Mommy Are The Monsters Gone?" and you can help! (Please help!!!). Joe will regale us with tales of his CES adventure and will answer dtoider questions about the event, to the best of his ability (mediocre at least!) using a mysterious conveyance city-folk call 'CHAT'.

We will be broadcasting live at 8:00pm TONIGHT via ustream, which you will be able to access by clicking THESE VERY WORDS.

The password is: mommydtoid

A trimmed down, audio-only copy will follow, but the wise and the knowing will witness the event LIVE.. sorry, caps lock.. live this evening.   read

4:40 PM on 11.22.2007

MassGivings! - Thanksgiving Mass Effect Happiness

As two, maybe three of you know, I am an American presently residing in Canada. Canadian Thanksgiving was last month, so today was business as usual around here. I have decided, however, that holidays ought to accompany the person, not the place. So I sneaked out of work a little early today (I didn't so much sneak, as I walked confidently out. This is a technique I developed back in high school, realizing that one is much less likely to draw attention to oneself if one does not appear to be sneaking about.. doesn't one?

I arrived home and, once the rush of newly acquired freedom had subsided, realized I had nothing to do with myself. Everyone else was at work. Daytime TV is hot, stinky garbage. I'd exhausted my gaming supply last week after playing entirely too much Ace Combat 6 (this is untrue.. you can't play too much Ace Combat 6.. only too little). Does this spell defeat for our hero?!

Not nearly! You see, I don't have Mass Effect, which is to say, I've yet to experience TEh FX. But payday is not until tomorrow, and I blew my last ten bucks on gas. I started writing up a list in my mind of games I'd be willing to trade in at EB. I'm sure this is a mental exercise we are all familiar with. For the unknowing, it goes something like this:

Should I trade in R6:Vegas? I mean, the sequels coming out next year, so it's not like I'm gonna need both.. but what if I feel like playing it again before the next one comes out? I haven't played Table Tennis in a while, that can go.. of course I never did beat it. When was the last time I even touched Gears...

I knew that without making some serious sacrifices to the collection, I wasn't going to get anywhere near the retail price of TEh FX. So it occurred to me that I should round up all of the loose change in my bedroom. I don't really spend change so much as discard it. I had a healthy pile of silver on my nightstand, and some more scattered around my computer desk. So I loaded up a plastic bag and hit the grocery store for to coinify their Coinstar machine.

I had a lot of change. Like.. a bunch. Rather than tell you the grand total, I thought I'd show you what I was able to purchase with the bounty (that bit in the lower left is a KFC Chicken Bowl):

It's a Thanksgiving day miracle!!! So, I I may be far away from home and family on a holiday, and I may have failed to secure for myself the prized Rock Band kit (congrats Guitaratomik!), but sipping a cold beer and firing up Mass Effect seems like a half-decent consolation.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

:)   read

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