We are Destructoid: The Chronicles of Mazmar

[Hey gang! Last week, I challenged some community members to tell us why Destructoid's community is so important to them. Don't let them be the only ones! Tell us how you feel in your own blog. -- Kauza]

If you’ve been around on Destructoid long enough, you have no doubt witnessed some amazing things happen in the comments. The members here have made commenting an art form, often swooping in and saving the day. They can take a mundane news story or a small blog and turn it into something truly special. Whether it's cascade of hilarious pictures or a meme created on the spot, magic frequently happens in the comment section.

My favorite example of this was the creation of Mazmar, the lizardetective.



Chapter One: The Birth of a Hero

It all started when our own personal muse, Beyamor, posted a drawing as a bit of friendly encouragement. He gave a few short details and I’m sure went on with his night unaware of what he had created. This seemingly random picture quickly hijacked the blog, and sparked a flurry of comments. People instantly hailed him as a leader of men and called for his presidency. A few comments down, the infinitely talented Handy posted some amazing dialog between Mazmar and his police chief, solidifying this character and fleshing him out with a little backstory. What happened next would come to be known to as the Chronicles of Mazmar.

Borrowing heavily from every bad cop stereotype, Mazmar was described as a loose cannon cop who “never played by the rules”. He would do whatever it took to get the job done, regardless of the body count he left in his wake. What made this all the more ridiculous and awesome was that Mazmar was a giant lizard detective in a trench coat. His reptilian descent was brought up often and seemed to make the other characters in the story uneasy. He was an animal, after all. Who knew what he was capable of? He could fly off the hook at any moment, inflicting his unique brand of cold-blooded justice on anyone stupid enough to get in his way.

It wasn't long before someone took it upon themselves to give Mazmar his own account. He began showing up in the comments and even posted a blog the following day. While the blog itself seemed to miss the humor mark a bit, the comments stepped in again and took over. My Mazmar fanboyism was in full effect now. While everyone had something great to contribute, I consider Handy's offerings to be official Mazmar canon.



Chapter 2: A Villain Shows His Face

It was in the comment section of Mazmar's blog that things began get weird. A rotten criminal by the name of Charlie Gambol (who looked remarkably similar to Charlie Rose) showed up, taking credit for some art work that had recently been stolen. He bragged that, not only had already blown it all sky high, but that the police station was next to go. A nemesis was born. Charlie revealed himself as the criminal leader of the group known as the Gambol Boys, a ring of thieves that Mazmar had crossed paths with before. Things were heating up.

It appeared as though Mazmar had met his match. The pure evil that was Charlie Gambol even began to threaten the other commenters, telling one in particular that he was going to kidnap his sister and make her give the all the Gambol Boys blow jobs. It seemed that Charlie had crossed a line and there was no turning back. His comments began to evolve into a strange combination of ransom note and spam bot ramblings. He started advertising that he had quality discounts on replica Air Jordans, acai berry and 'Louise Vutton' bags. Clearly, he'd gone of the deep end.



Chapter 3: The Death of Charlie Gambol

Greed had completely consumed Charlie. He had gone after some Aztec gold and gotten lost in the Espa desert. Now dehydrated and hallucinating, he sent Mazmar a final message scrawled a torn piece of paper. He explained that he'd kicked one of his accomplices into a well and taken the map. The letter stated "the Air Jordans were a lie", and was sealed with a bloody hand print. Charlie Gambol's lust for Aztec gold ultimately drove him completely bat shit crazy.

It would seem the Chronicles of Mazmar had come to an awkward and abrupt end. Charlie Gambol’s account was banned shortly afterwards, due to spamming I suppose. The joke had run it's course and the fun was over.



Chapter 4: The Gift

That is until until the following day. A person calling themselves 'formerly known as charlie gambol' posted a blog that seemed entirely out of character. In an apology of sorts, he explained that he never intended to destroy Mazmar, and only wanted to “help fill out and enrich the Mazmar mythology". He sounded tired and humbled, a far cry from the dastardly villain who had terrorized Mazmar and the citizens of Destructoid for the last two days straight.

What he left as his farewell was a surprisingly amazing tribute to our reptilian hero -- "The Ballad of Mazmar and Charlie Gambol". It almost brings a happy tear to my eye when I listen to it. To think that a simple drawing could evolve into legend worthy of song over the course of just a few short days is as crazy as it is amazing.

It's also just one example of the magic that happens here at Destructoid everyday. Enjoy. <3