[11:28:17 PM] Aerox: I googled cock guillotine
[11:28:19 PM] Aerox: Oh man, was that a good idea
[11:28:55 PM] Aerox: 'Choice is yours. The police or your dangling cocks and balls. If you go to prison, those bits are not going to be any use to the girls'.
[11:28:55 PM] Aerox: 'Fuck off....
[11:28:55 PM] Aerox: 'Right I have had enough of you boy', I said to Craig. 'Al untie him, and Sofie, you double band his big juicy cock and balls with my lamb castrator. Whilst they prepared Craig I went to the back of the shed and wheeled forward my home made cock guillotine.
[11:28:55 PM] Aerox: Despite their protests all three lads and developed big erections.
[11:28:55 PM] Aerox: I ran my hands and tongue over Craig's neat body. I took his juicy throbbing cock into my mouth and sucked that veiny shaft hard.
[11:28:57 PM] Aerox: When he was about to cum, we strapped him to the guillotine, so that his cock and balls laid on the base plate, with the gap between the bands in line with the blades strike mark.
[11:28:59 PM] Aerox: I returned to sucking Craig's cock.
[11:29:01 PM] Aerox: By this time, all three were mesmerised by what was going on. They eyed the sharp blade, waiting in the top of its runners.
[11:29:02 PM] Aerox: Craig murmered and threw his head back. Thick hot spunk hit the back of my throat.
[11:29:04 PM] Aerox: I stood up and released the blade. With a thud, it came to a shuddering halt on its base plate.
[11:29:06 PM] Aerox: Crig's big cock and balls arched through the air, came down with a splat on the end of the chute and dropped into the basket.
[11:29:08 PM] Aerox: I hauled out the chopped off juicy cock and balls and tossed them on to my work bench.
[11:29:10 PM] Aerox: 'Another beauty trophy for my collection', I said.
[11:29:16 PM] AgentChieftain: !COCK GUILLOTINE++
[11:29:18 PM] AlsoCocks: Karma for COCK GUILLOTINE is now 48.
NOTE: Unfortunately, this will be the final "official" Late Nite Lulz™. Not only has the name been degraded with it's association to the Project Chanology faggotry, but I picked up an EGM or Game Informer or something recently (Because I ran out of toilet paper, and EGM's content of PC hardware advertisements is great for whacking my dog on the nose when he shits on the floor) and found "LULZ" in bold red letters in a margin describing some joke that was probably unfunny, and electro lemon has kinda-sorta been writing them up/posting YouTubes in their name on a daily basis, and the community has caught on and began doing the same, and this is a very long run-on sentence.
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's blog
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Ok.....k.
Stay tuned tomorrow for my dramatic copy-pastaing of UNCLE'S DARE!
???
I'm confused and I hurt.
That is the greatest title I have ever seen.
And this is the weirdest story I've ever heard.
MIND DESTROYED.
If you want to read the full story yourself (This is "just the tip"!), click HERE!
(There are no pictures on that link, I promise.)
So... uhh.... did you hear about wiisucks?
No, I haven't.
@Aerox
SHITWAFFLES.
So I guess the internet really is serious business after all.
Well uhh he said he was an editor and got banned... again. lol
The "Penotine" is what I know it as.
That was hard to read. Jerk.
Welcome to DTIOD IRC chat, vexed alex.
Cock Guillotine:
I meant the post script you had there.
Why the hell did I click on something titled cock guillotine?
Oh, yeah, eunuch.org! Aerox has it bookmarked too?
*coughcough* I don't know what you're talking about Max.
Hmm, looks like the Sequel to this blog is in the works. Keep your eyes peeled for LATE NITE LULZ™ Scrotum Poaching Edition.
noooooooooooooooooooooooo
You could go on for a while from that site alone.
Really, the eunuchs are very polite.
They really were. When you go into their chatroom they all give you very friendly greetings.
[12:29:07 AM] Aerox: SCROTUM POACHING
[12:29:08 AM] Aerox: OO BABY
[12:29:09 AM] AgentChieftain: wow, don't do
[12:29:17 AM] AgentChieftain: !SCROTUM POACHING++
[12:29:20 AM] AlsoCocks: Karma for SCROTUM POACHING is now 1.
[12:29:28 AM] Aerox: " My name is Gloria Gelder and I'm a scrotum poacher. I've always been interested in castration, partly because of my surname and partly just because the idea fascinated and excited me. "
[12:29:32 AM] Aerox: HI GLORIA GELDER
[12:29:40 AM] MaxVest: that's a pun
[12:29:48 AM] AgentChieftain: !SCROTUM POACHING
[12:29:50 AM] AgentChieftain: oops
[12:29:55 AM] MaxVest: clever scrotum poacher
[12:29:56 AM] AgentChieftain: !SCROTUM POACHING++
[12:29:58 AM] AlsoCocks: Karma for SCROTUM POACHING is now 2.
[12:30:08 AM] Aerox: "I'm afraid not," I replied, at which he lost control and start to ejaculate. I acted quickly and performed the necessary finalizing moves and actions. Mr. Hurlburt gave out a sharp cry of pain and then his whole body was wracked by protracted paroxysms of pleasure while he moaned and grunted. I stood up and gently placed his scrotum in a special scrotum storage receptacle that I'd made and brought with me. I looked between his legs and saw
[12:30:19 AM] Aerox: !Scrotum Storage Receptacle++
[12:30:20 AM] AlsoCocks: Karma for Scrotum Storage Receptacle is now 1.
[12:30:32 AM] AgentChieftain: holy shit
[12:30:58 AM] Aerox: "I even did my dad! Hee hee! Dirty old bugger anyway. He'd been exposing himself to me since I was a young girl so he really had it coming. So poaching him was pretty easy."
[12:30:59 AM] Aerox: My god
[12:31:02 AM] Aerox: This is the best website ever
[12:31:11 AM] MaxVest: i'm tempted to make a submission
[12:31:15 AM] Aerox: She jerks off her dad then cuts his dick off
[12:31:27 AM] Aerox: And boy was mom pissed when she found out. So I just went out, bought her an extra-large vibrating dildo (with batteries) and told her to get over it. She really blew up and really acted like she wanted to murder me but I just kept my cool and told her it'd served him right, exposing himself like that to his own daughter. She never did forgive me and I ended up having to move out and go live with my aunt and uncle after that.
[12:32:07 AM] AgentChieftain: !SCROTUM POACHING++
[12:32:08 AM] AlsoCocks: Karma for SCROTUM POACHING is now 3.
[12:32:18 AM] Aerox: After a light supper I packed three scrotum storage receptacles into a small bag, got in my car and drove over to the town next to mine. A few hours later I was driving back home, leaning back in my seat, relaxed, refreshed and satisfied, will all three scrotum storage receptacles full. It'd been so easy. I had merely gone to a porn shop, a porn theatre and a pick-up bar. Finding flabby, pasty, pimply losers who couldn't believe their luck w
[12:32:18 AM] MaxVest: !SCROTUM POACHING++
[12:32:21 AM] AlsoCocks: Karma for SCROTUM POACHING is now 4.
[12:32:24 AM] Aerox: !Scrotum Poaching++
[12:32:24 AM] AlsoCocks: Karma for Scrotum Poaching is now 5.
[12:32:52 AM] Aerox: OH MY GOD
[12:32:54 AM] Aerox: THEY HAVE A PODCAST
[12:33:00 AM] AgentChieftain: HOLY SHIT
[12:33:06 AM] MaxVest: they have a forum
[12:33:14 AM] AgentChieftain: !SCROTUM POACHING++
[12:33:14 AM] MaxVest: topic: Desire to become a eunuch!
[12:33:16 AM] AlsoCocks: Karma for SCROTUM POACHING is now 6.
[12:33:19 AM] AgentChieftain: THEY HAVE TO MAKE A GAME
[12:33:21 AM] MaxVest: I have for several years now liked the idea of being castrated. First it was just a fantasy, but now I belive it would be right for me. I think about it every day, that I really have the desire to become a eunuch and have the cut!
[12:33:21 AM] MaxVest:
[12:33:21 AM] MaxVest: It´s a difficult choice, and I do not feel I have someone to support me in the process. I have a boyfriend that don`t want to talk about it, I can imagine it`s difficult seeing your partner being castrated and become a eunuch.
[12:33:21 AM] MaxVest:
[12:33:21 AM] MaxVest: My boyfriend is a sportsfreak,
[12:33:21 AM] MaxVest: and is in the gym or sportsclub most of the time. when he is finished with his sports, theres not much left in the bed.
[12:33:21 AM] MaxVest:
[12:33:22 AM] MaxVest: We have sex about once a week, and mostly I masturbate him. I could do that as eunuch to, I believe.
[12:33:23 AM] *** ST has joined #destructoid.
[12:33:45 AM] AgentChieftain: !COCK GUILLOTINE++
[12:33:45 AM] AlsoCocks: Karma for COCK GUILLOTINE is now 54.
o wow...
nods head walks aways.
"Cock Guillotine" would be an awesome Xbox Live Gamertag.
Too much text man!
Make the crucial parts bold!
MY BALLS!
Wow. Just when you thought you'd seen everything the internet had to offer.
Cock Guillotine is the winner of my official monthly "What in the fucking shit, internet?" award.
MY COCK!
haha, ahh sorry i was bored.
runs away.
Dear fucking lord. I hate you guys for bringing this to my attention.
Think of all the jail time that could be avoided and all the crime that could be effectively wiped out if only the average cop carried a Cock Guillotine. Then all we would need is like an Ovary Guillotine or something to that effect and we would have everlasting law and order.
I knew lulz before they were famous.
That was one cocky guillotine, never knew they had such strongheaded personality!
yay?
I was looking at the cblogs again this morning and saw one entitled "Say goodbye to my little wii."
I can't think of many times offhand when I was more terrified of a link.
That image is stuck in my head. God damn you.
jesus.