So, the CBlogs suck today.
Yeah. Thankfully, since this tipped off the
Chieftain Counter-Fail System™, I'm automatically taking countermeasures. I have some gasoline, a flamethrower, and an endangered Yew tree (Which contains a possible cure for cancer).
So, gather 'round the campfire, children. Time for some stories.
One day, I was playing Team Fortress 2 with a few friends. I was an Engineer at 2fort. The game just started, so I took the defensive with another Engineer, who was setting a Sentry Gun up on top of the 'Staircase', or the stairs leading into the Intelligence Room. I put my Sentry in the infamous 'to-the-right-of-the-spawn' location (BlindsideDork wasn't in the game with me, so I didn't put one in the enemy Intel Room). Then, "a wild Critic appears!". A Sniper, by the name of [REDACTED BY
CHIEFTAIN ANONYMITY SYSTEM™]
[REDACTED #1: 30-something, sounds overweight. A Sniper.]: What the fuck are you doing, monkey?
AgentChieftain: BUILDAN AH SENTRY.
[REDACTED #1]: PUT IT IN THE FUCKIN' INTEL ROOM YOU FUCKIN' IDIOT.
AgentChieftain: ...Why? Camping is for fags.
WildMFThunder: OH HAI, I'LL JUST PUT MY STUFF WHERE THE REST OF MY TEAM CAN'T ACCESS IT. REAL TEAM PLAYING.
[REDACTED #1]: Fuck you, dude. ENGINEERS, PUT YOUR SHIT IN THE INTEL ROOM YOU FUCKING MONKEYS. *Giggling*
WildMFThunder [Friend of mine, a Demoman.]: Are you laughing at your own joke?
[REDACTED #1]: God forbid you get skilled enough to play a real class, like
Sniper.
AgentChieftain:
What.
TippyTangler [Another friend of mine, a Spy]: Yeah, uh, no.
[REDACTED #1] *Giggling* Shut up, monkey. Go build your Banana Sentry Gun up on the stairs like a good money. *Giggling*.
[REDACTED #2: Twelve. Shouldn't be playing M-rated games. A Heavy.]: Dude, niiiiice.
TippyTangler: WHOA WHOA WHOA. Youngin' right here.
AgentChieftain: You
do know that I can't help you guys if one of us set up down there, right?
[REDACTED #1] Build your Banana Dispenser next to it, you stupid fuck.
That's what it's for.
TippyTangler: Hahahahaha.
AgentChieftain: Rather than build it where my team can use it? Since Heavies, Demomen and Pyros go through ammo fast as shit?
[REDACTED #2]: DUDE, SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO THE MAN.
[REDACTED #1]: I'VE BEEN PLAYING THIS GAME ALL DAY AND I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYBODY AS STUPID AS YOU.
The rest of the conversation is pretty much a shit-flinging contest between me and this 30-something guy. It's bizarre, because I felt like I was losing the argument, even though I was completely right.
I fucking hate Xbox Live, the ESRB, and the man who invented the Microphone.
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's blog
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For anybody who plays TF2, this should be mildly amusing.
No, I'm not buying the PC version.
Buy the PC version. Do it. I know you want to.
Damn! I was totally posting that you should play it on PC... then you ruined it.
It was amusing though.
Another heartwarming story.
One day, I get two meme-spouting kids in a game of Rainbow Six Vegas. They were 14-ish. I'll keep it short, since all 4chan 'newfags' spout the same shit.
AgentChieftian: Alright, so I'm gonna set some tripwires over here to protect our base. Who's gonna be in here with me?
[REDACTED]: Sure, I herd u liek Mudkipz?
AgentChieftain: ...
I was then filled with rage, and sent a message to a friend on the opposing team to target the kids specifically. They were wearing blue armor with orange bandanas.
Just for the record...
~insert russian here~Get behind me doctor ^_^
You shouldn't play on the PC because the Dtoid server is awesome and you would have so much fun you would probably skip off a cliff in glee.
Also, I posted so therefore the Cblogs can't have sucked today.
Also also, that person is the worst TF2 player ever and you should have just stood stood in his way when he scoped for revenge.
Also also also, who the fuck gets skilled enough to have an ego playing sniper on a controller? It's hard enough with a mouse to be half decent. You have to be on a shit load of caffeine or cocaine to get that twitch.
@Surf
He said he was playing for a week. Lol.
I was outscoring him on a 4:1 ratio. You know, the whole 'I'M ACTUALLY RUNNING OUT AND SHOOTING PEOPLE' thing is a big factor in that.
Lol TF2 on XBL. That is all.
When I play as engineer I usually get bored and go commando with the wrench. This either results in me A) embarrassing a whole lot of people and giggling like a school girl or B) getting ponied and my sentry raped by a spy.
I love me some melee kills though.
Bonesaw > Wrench.
Wrench: Going Ratchet & Clank on their ass.
Bonesaw: Going Greg House on their ass.
I lolled
I never want to play this game on XBL its hard enough to play halo without thinking about maiming some of the douchebags on there. On a different note sniper rifles are awesome for charging people in counter strike!
I don't know how it is on PC (maybe I will soon), but TF2 on XBL is extremely frustrating. Everyone plays soldier or sniper, and no one works together. I love scout and spy but am often forced to play engi for the good of the team.
Usually I just flick my mic off and yell.
I was hoping someone else would share a story or two, not talk about how much TF2 sucks on Xbox Live.
Wanna hear a real story?
I played Halo 3 once. I has fun time. The end.
Wow, this demonstrates that not only in Halo people act like morons.
STORYTIME!
Defense on dustbowl level 3, the offense has taken the first cap, but can't quite turn the corner. I'm a spy. I sap the sentry the offense has guarding their front door and stab-stab an engi, medic, two demos and a heavy. One of my teammates, seeing the kill notifications says, "Why do we have a spy on defense?"
You could say "good job," asshole.
007, that was the best story I've ever heard.
I actually don't mind TF2 of on 360. When you find a good team and crush the other guys in 30 seconds on the first stage of Dustbowl is good stuff.
I broke my bottle on someone's head twice in a row tonight, he got revenge though. Snuck up and wrenched the hell out of me.
[/storytime]
Speaking of Greg House, I can’t wait for House to come back.
TF2 on PC is really fun...seems to be a slightly older crowd on most servers, which usually translates into less dinks ruining it.
Counterstrike is the equivalent of XBL on PC...lots of tards. Yet I cannot stop playing it. Please help me.
@vishusdelishus
That's the absolute only reason I would play it on the PC.
I should get back on TF2 with you guys, but one of my friends is borrowing my copy of the Orange Box. =(
I miss playing with you and BSD. I would play with you guys again, but I played that game to death from October to December and can't imagine picking it up again unless new maps come out.
TF2 on PC is roughly equal to liquid crack in sheer unadulterated fun. Check it out.
Sounds like I missed a good time...send me his Gamertag and I will go flame his sniper rifle!