So, the CBlogs suck today. Yeah. Thankfully, since this tipped off the Chieftain Counter-Fail System™, I'm automatically taking countermeasures. I have some gasoline, a flamethrower, and an endangered Yew tree (Which contains a possible cure for cancer).

So, gather 'round the campfire, children. Time for some stories.




One day, I was playing Team Fortress 2 with a few friends. I was an Engineer at 2fort. The game just started, so I took the defensive with another Engineer, who was setting a Sentry Gun up on top of the 'Staircase', or the stairs leading into the Intelligence Room. I put my Sentry in the infamous 'to-the-right-of-the-spawn' location (BlindsideDork wasn't in the game with me, so I didn't put one in the enemy Intel Room). Then, "a wild Critic appears!". A Sniper, by the name of [REDACTED BY CHIEFTAIN ANONYMITY SYSTEM™]

[REDACTED #1: 30-something, sounds overweight. A Sniper.]: What the fuck are you doing, monkey?

AgentChieftain: BUILDAN AH SENTRY.

[REDACTED #1]: PUT IT IN THE FUCKIN' INTEL ROOM YOU FUCKIN' IDIOT.

AgentChieftain: ...Why? Camping is for fags.

WildMFThunder: OH HAI, I'LL JUST PUT MY STUFF WHERE THE REST OF MY TEAM CAN'T ACCESS IT. REAL TEAM PLAYING.

[REDACTED #1]: Fuck you, dude. ENGINEERS, PUT YOUR SHIT IN THE INTEL ROOM YOU FUCKING MONKEYS. *Giggling*

WildMFThunder [Friend of mine, a Demoman.]: Are you laughing at your own joke?

[REDACTED #1]: God forbid you get skilled enough to play a real class, like Sniper.

AgentChieftain: What.

TippyTangler [Another friend of mine, a Spy]: Yeah, uh, no.

[REDACTED #1] *Giggling* Shut up, monkey. Go build your Banana Sentry Gun up on the stairs like a good money. *Giggling*.

[REDACTED #2: Twelve. Shouldn't be playing M-rated games. A Heavy.]: Dude, niiiiice.

TippyTangler: WHOA WHOA WHOA. Youngin' right here.

AgentChieftain: You do know that I can't help you guys if one of us set up down there, right?

[REDACTED #1] Build your Banana Dispenser next to it, you stupid fuck. That's what it's for.

TippyTangler: Hahahahaha.

AgentChieftain: Rather than build it where my team can use it? Since Heavies, Demomen and Pyros go through ammo fast as shit?

[REDACTED #2]: DUDE, SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO THE MAN.

[REDACTED #1]: I'VE BEEN PLAYING THIS GAME ALL DAY AND I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYBODY AS STUPID AS YOU.



The rest of the conversation is pretty much a shit-flinging contest between me and this 30-something guy. It's bizarre, because I felt like I was losing the argument, even though I was completely right.

I fucking hate Xbox Live, the ESRB, and the man who invented the Microphone.