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Coonskin05 avatar 12:49 PM on 08.12.2009  (server time)
Contest: Become Coonskin05 for an hour at PAX

The excitement in my pants is bubbling like dynamite in my grandma's toilet, as PAX is just three weeks away! There are a ton of people planning on going from the Dtoid Community, and I have a surprise to share with you for all of you guys and gals going to PAX on Friday. I'm going to be busy drinking on Friday, so we have a special yob for anyone that's interested doing something unusual.

Be Coonskin for an hour. Yup. Worst job ever.

All you need to do to become Coonskin is call dibs in the comments below and meet me at my hotel (and don't bring the police) to arrange costume logistics and wacky pose training. YOU MUST HAVE NO SHAME, DECENT LOOKS, A STRONG GAG REFLEX, AND AN IRON-LIKE LIVER. The captain's hat weighs about a tenth of a pound and has the propensity to attract the ladies. However, seniority will be granted to long-time members of Dtoid (and people who bestow sexual favors on me). It is preferred that you wear your birthday suit. You too, ladies. We don't discriminate, but we'll get you out of that dress and do you like Hefner.

What does Coon do? Mostly drink. You’ll be taking shots with your fellow Dtoiders for hours each as you ham it up, take photos with people and do things that will make you flaunt your sexuality.

Everyone that helps out by becoming Coonskin will get a beer on me and a dick rub. The PAX show hours haven't been released yet, but it doesn't matter because all this will be taking place at bars, and you'll be asked to sign a waiver that you totally love alcohol poisoning.

Until then, go call dibs!

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