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Meet the destructoid Team >>   Conrad Zimmerman
Conrad Zimmerman's blog
★ destructoid | Director of Video ★
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About
Destructoid's head of video operations. An avid player of tabletop and video games throughout his life, Conrad has a passion for unique design mechanics and is a nut for gaming history. Conrad organizes and produces video content for the site (including Sup, Holmes?, Office Chat and Saturday Morning Hangover) and is a regular host on Podtoid.

E-mail: conrad@destructoid.com
Twitter: ConradZimmerman
Jenny: 867-5309


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Death by Cartoon

About Rodney Dangerfield:



The mere inclusion of Rodney Dangerfield can vastly improve anything. Films, music, toasters, anything. In particular, the force of Rodney Dangerfield could elevate video games to the level in which they are accepted by the mainstream as a true art form, bringing together people of all races, creeds and tax brackets in peace and harmony.

RIP Rodney.
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I mentioned yesterday in the recap that I might have an announcement today. I've been working on this for the last few weeks and I'm hoping it'll entertain everyone. Check tomorrow for the first installment





Back in the dark days before Super Smash Brothers, gamers longed for an opportunity to see their favorite video game characters clash beyond the boundaries of their respective cartridges. Little did we know that Nintendo and DiC were hearing our plaintive cries. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.

In 1989, Captain N: The Game Master was unleashed upon television audiences around the world, caught in the grip of Ninfluenza (like Pac-Man Fever except it's a lot harder to recover from and there's no cure). The show put together many of the easily identifiable characters from Nintendo games into a universe that blurred the lines between game worlds and placed them all in a desperate conflict for the fate of that universe. At least, that was the intent.

What ended up happening was a horrible distortion of these beloved figures and places. Apart from the physical representations of most characters, very little actually resembled them. Mega Man was less a domestic robot turned unstoppable mech-killing machine than a croaking luchadore. Pit is called by the more recognizable name of his game, Kid Icarus, and somehow manages to be more annoying than said game's level design. And, in what's possibly the most egregious disservice payed to any animated character ever, Simon Belmont was turned into a vain, self-obsessed pretty-boy instead of the ass-kicking vampire hunter we'd come to know and love.

You cannot convince me that Captain N: The Game Master was a good show. I have far too much evidence to the contrary, evidence that I will be giving to you as I undertake the most perilous journey of my blogging career. Each week, in a new series starting tomorrow, I will provide detailed analysis for each episode of Captain N. This will go on until I have completed the entire run or the experience so utterly saps my will to live that I commit suicide. Either way, you win.

Welcome to Death by Cartoon.




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Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)


Why do you people love to hurt yourselves so much?
I'm really looking forward for this one.
IT BURRRNNNNNNNSSSS
Needs more Mother Brain.
Can't wait.

OR CAN I?????
I actually really liked captain N when I was like 4-6, funny how i knew the characters were gamebased, and i had or at least had played those games, yet I never made the "wait...something's wrong here" connection until a couple of years ago when i watched an episode on youtube.
Yeah they really fucked Simon up, but yet I watched it everytime it came on.
oh yeah. THAT Mega Man.

cute, I guess, but wow . . .
I remember my imagination making this more amazing then it was when I was a kid.
You are a tougher man than I
Can't wait for this one
I've always tried to imagine the brainstorming session that led to the reinvention of Simon Belmont.

Writer: We don't have a preening narcissist in the show to provide comic relief.
Exec: What about the vampire guy with the whip?
Writer: Simon Belmont? The hunchbacked trudging warrior of good against the forces of darknesses?
Exec: Yeah, now he's a blond, goggle-wearing tanned L.A. pretty boy with a faux-British accent. Also make all the bad guys vaguely racially offensive while you're at it.
Now in 2008 its a bad bad show, as a kid I loved it. Just as much as i loved the super mario bros super show ,the Super Mario bros movie, both mortal kombat movies and Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling?
They are all bad shows but they give me unrivaled nostalgia when i watch them. you cant watch them now as an adult and not cringe, but they're always good for a laugh.

yeah captain N taught me Mega Man was a snarky guy from Brooklyn. and that mother brain was the tranny from rocky horror picture show.

also I can't wait for this one either.
Oh, boy...this is gonna be a great column. You won’t just be covering videogame-related cartoons, will you? Like that Sonic TV show...
Even the description makes me want to go back in time to persuade the creators that this will be a horrific idea...
HE PLAYED FUCKING TETRIS IN IT. HOW CAN YOU SAY IT'S BAD?

ALSO IT HAD LARRY BIRD. FUCK YOU.

At least that's what I remember from it.
Oh also, you should go read the stories from the real Captain Nintendo, it's pretty cool stuff.
Hooray!
that's a long as story. I'm not surprised about the shitty corporate management the guy dealt with. that's corporations in general.
I am so excited! I'm really glad you decided to go through with this!
Conrad, your hard work is mind boggling. I can't wait for this.
This sounds fantastic. When I was a young'n and didn't know any better, I never missed an episode. In my later years I've discovered that nostalgia is the nemesis of good taste. I'm definitely looking forward to your take on it.
Alvin, Simon- THEODORE!
1.final fight cartoon
2.mortal kombat cartoon
3.Street Fighter cartoon (BISON!!!!!)

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