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About Me
I am the Deputy News Editor at Destructoid. I write about videogames for a living. That last sentence is as awesome as it sounds, though not always in the ways you might think.

I also play host to Destructoid's live streaming satellite studio, Couchtoid. From there, we broadcast Backlog, an attempt to work through my stack of old games one hour at a time (Weeknights, 10pm Pacific) and Saturday Morning Hangover where Dtoid writer Jordan Devore and the always lovely ImpossiblePlant play often painful games for your amusement (Saturdays, 10am Pacific).

I'm fond of all types of gaming, either on a screen or a tabletop. In terms of video games, my interests vary wildly from platformers (2D preferred) to RPGs and the occasional FPS. The greatest game of all time is Mega Man 2 and any suggestion otherwise will be met with swift vengeance.

E-mail: conrad@destructoid.com
Twitter: ConradZimmerman
Jenny: 867-5309

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Geometry Wars 2 (XBLA)


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About Rodney Dangerfield:



The mere inclusion of Rodney Dangerfield can vastly improve anything. Films, music, toasters, anything. In particular, the force of Rodney Dangerfield could elevate video games to the level in which they are accepted by the mainstream as a true art form, bringing together people of all races, creeds and tax brackets in peace and harmony.

RIP Rodney.

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F*** YOU DVDDESIGN - The Finale Video
Conrad Zimmerman | 7:45 AM on 05.29.2008 32 comments


The long odyssey is at an end and I've learned many things. I discovered the hard way that you can't take love for granted, that it must be cherished, else it might leave you. There are things in this world for which there is no easy fix and some which can never be undone.

I've also learned that six large is way too much to pay a third-rate private eye for a week's work. And a good lawyer delivering a fat settlement can go a long way towards easing pain.

And now, I give you this: a final tribute to my lost GTA.







Godspeed, my friend.



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32 comments | showing # 1 to 32
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ParaParaKing's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 07:53
ParaParaKing
I can't believe it's over.
This made me cry.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 07:54
Maurice Tan
Epic video, may you dwell in the world of teetees for a long time!
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 07:59
Bob Muir
Hey, it's only 12 points, not 15!
Brilliam's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 08:02
Brilliam
I laughed. I cried. I didn't realize that dtoid shirt existed.
Conrad Zimmerman's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 08:04
Conrad Zimmerman
@Necros: Thought that might get your attention.

On another note, I'd like to thank some people without whom none of this would have ever been done. My friends P3T3Y, Waldo, Laura, Dan-o and Des were absolutely invaluable for the inspiration and hands they lent. This was really a lot of fun for me to do and I hope I haven't tormented too many of the blog readers with being goofy.
Conrad Zimmerman's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 08:05
Conrad Zimmerman
@Brilliam: I got it from nerdyshirts.com when they had a $1 blowout sale on them about a month ago. So, it's probably not for sale from them anymore.
BigPopaGamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 08:09
BigPopaGamer
You know you look like Peter Dinklage?



Awesome video.
Das Inchworm's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 08:13
Das Inchworm
*slow clap*
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 08:15
Justice
That is one awesome side-parting!
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 08:40
MaxVest
This video moved me right down to my bowels.
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 08:41
Aaron Mxy Yost
I'm going to go hug my copy of GTA IV right now.
Demios's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 09:03
Demios
epic sadness.
Hoygeit's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 09:13
Hoygeit
Words cannot express...

so... beautiful...
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 09:16
wardrox
I cried, that was beautiful.
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 09:32
Cowzilla3
LOL, Zork! Brilliant...but no.

Also thanks for reminding me of the saddest moment in gaming ever by using that song. Now I'm just going to think about a poor little girl losing her father and learning about death through the Elite Beat Agents.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 10:03
king3vbo
Win and God.

It was... amazing
Chocobo Knight's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 10:08
Chocobo Knight
I shall miss this greatly. :(
Spartacus's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 10:38
Spartacus
That was...so beautiful...
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 11:30
Darren Nakamura
We're... we're done? We're done!

I actually won't be able to touch my copy for another few days still, on account of me being incredibly popular.

And yes, we'll play Camelot next time. Maybe at PAX? I've already got a Catan date with Colette set for there.
gotdurnrite's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 12:13
gotdurnrite
That was hilarious. I have enjoyed this tale of intrigue. I'm sad to see it end.

I hope you used protection with GTAIV. It's been around.
Guagloves's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 12:33
Guagloves
Beautiful video. Really awe inspiring to say the least.
DJDuffy 's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 12:50
DJDuffy
*tear* so many memories. *hugs copy of GTA* I <3 uuuu
DaTgUy's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 13:17
DaTgUy
lol, ITS FINALLY OVER!
tsunamikitsune's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 13:25
tsunamikitsune
Oh god, that was beautiful. I almost cried.
A Humble Mr Perfect's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 13:31
A Humble Mr Perfect
we need an acronym for crying. Instead of I lol'd. I wlab'd (wept like a baby)
Rifter01's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 13:36
Rifter01
I'm shedding a tear, I don't know if it is a happy tear or sad. Either way, it was memorable.

Now, can we plz NOT have any contests where someone must NOT play the game to win? Isn't that just kinda defeating the point of playing to win? Not playing games = bad mojo! LOL
P3T3Y's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 14:59
P3T3Y
It's what he would have wanted.
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 16:16
BluDesign
I give this 100 points.

Bravo sir, Bravo.
Wexx's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:52
Wexx
You're so brave!


...
Qalamari's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/30/2008 00:16
Qalamari
I haven't laughed so hard since... well, since the fake porn site you made. This whole thing has been spectacular. Bravo!
The GHost's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/01/2008 20:48
The GHost
That was incredibly moving :)

Thanks for the inclusion in the epic credits man!
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