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About Me
I am the News Editor at Destructoid. I write about videogames for a living. That last sentence is as awesome as it sounds, though not always in the ways you might think.

I also play host to Destructoid's live streaming satellite studio, Couchtoid. From there, we broadcast Backlog, an attempt to work through my stack of old games one hour at a time (Weeknights, 10pm Pacific) and Saturday Morning Hangover where Dtoid writer Jordan Devore and the always lovely ImpossiblePlant play often painful games for your amusement (Saturdays, 10am Pacific).

I'm fond of all types of gaming, either on a screen or a tabletop. In terms of video games, my interests vary wildly from platformers (2D preferred) to RPGs and the occasional FPS. The greatest game of all time is Mega Man 2 and any suggestion otherwise will be met with swift vengeance.

E-mail: conrad@destructoid.com
Twitter: ConradZimmerman
Jenny: 867-5309

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Geometry Wars 2 (XBLA)


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About Rodney Dangerfield:



The mere inclusion of Rodney Dangerfield can vastly improve anything. Films, music, toasters, anything. In particular, the force of Rodney Dangerfield could elevate video games to the level in which they are accepted by the mainstream as a true art form, bringing together people of all races, creeds and tax brackets in peace and harmony.

RIP Rodney.

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CBlogs of 4.23.08 + Zimmerisms
Conrad Zimmerman | 11:09 PM on 04.23.2008 19 comments





And recap time is upon us again. Blogs were really busy for the 6 hours I was sleeping for some reason and then returned to a more reasonable pace.

OH! I know what the fucking reason was. You're all posting GTA shit up in mah cBlogs! There's so much of it that I've given all those posts their very own section in the recap. There's another reason they're on their own, though. I haven't actually read any of them. I want to go in as blind as possible on this game, so you guys are on your own. It could be porn of a furry fucking an actual, real-life dog for all I know. I've made my best guesses as to what's probably in them but I take no responsibility for RickRolls, porn or other irritations. Venture into those blogs at your own risk.

This is my last day this week, so you've all got ceark back tomorrow night. Now, the recap, Zimmerism's to follow.


*- Virtual Girl graces us with more cosplay
*- Shot Monopoly could make the game fun enough for me to play again
*- This would be my choice for the T-shirt contest
*- I can't believe I didn't get this into the recap, as it's exactly how I feel about the GTA shit on the blogs right now.


A- Are there too many limited editions? (Tamz)
M- Glitching out (SPJglitches)


C- CBlog Xbox Scavenger Hunt (Ends 4.30)
C- that audiosurf contest (Ends 5.2)
C- Does it Suck? contest (Ends 4.30)
C- Design the next Dtoid shirt
E- Sterling's entry in the t-shirt contest
E- BlackSheep shows of some t-shirt designs
E- Winner of Viewtiful Joe contest


E- Board gaming at Dexter's place this Saturday (I wish I could go)
E- Pre-party photos of the Cincinatti NARP
E- Dtoid Meet-up in NYC
F- It's Wednesday Night WarCawks!
F- European Shitty Movie Night
C- RDCarneiro going to hospital for potentially fatal surgery
C- Rio McCarthy gets tons of stuff from Dtoiders
I- This would be fail, but dude's working on Metroid SR388 and I couldn't bring myself to do it
H- Athiestium shows us her kit (I wish it were as naughty as it sounds)


N- Sam Houser's feelings on the 360
N- Audiosurf coming to XBLA? (Rumorsmashed later)
N- Daily mail bitches about video games again
N- EA bringing Monopoly to consoles
N- DMC4 was Amazon's deal of the day
N- Bikes coming to Burnout Paradise
N- More info on bikes in Burnout, screenshot of EA Monopoly, audiosurf now not coming to XBLA
N- Iron Man to appear in new Hulk game
N- Echochrome demo drops on PSN tomorrow
V- That incredibly awesome SR388 trailer that got frontpaged
V- Strange Pokemon patch makes the critters little girls in costume
V- Vid after Vid after Vid of Robo's theme (Chrono Trigger)
V- Zero Punctuation: Brawl
V- How not to sell DS units (old Nintendo ad)
T- Is Nintendo failing at marketing WiiWare?
T- The rise, fall, rise of co-op mode in gaming
T- Help Xelothath figure out what game they'll play next
T- Bunch of new Castle Crashers info
T- RJG visits Activision
T- If someone would tell me what this game is, I'd appreciate it.
T-nilcam things Ogre Battle 64 should be on VC
T- What The Sims 3 needs
T- Upcoming Gears 2 footage announced
T- Mario Kart Wii is frustrating
T- Pendleton21 remembers Zombies Ate My Neighbors
T- Did we learn to drive on racing games?
T- QA gets the short end of the stick
T- Excited for Sims 3?
T- EDS' top ten game intro levels
T- With all the retro series getting remake love, what else is deserving?
T- What would you like to see in an FPS?
T- MWKopf wants Echochrome


A- Scans of the Yggdra Union art book
F- A top ten list of anime
L- More beautiful Dtoid sonnets


R- Religion that believes in penis theft
R- Somebody else's blog you should apparently be reading
R- Jack Thompson sends letter to Take-Two chairman's mom? Par for the course, if you ask me
V- Preview of new Venture Bros season


S- We saw this Gyrostarr vid yesterday
S- Monopoly game finishes faster than you
S- I couldn't actually visit this blog for some reason, but I'm pretty sure I've seen this story a dozen times
F- Don't spam your other site here
F- Remake shitty games? You just actually said that? Really?
F- Thank you for acknowledging your fail.
F- Failure.
F- Another fail intro


IV- Intro
IV- Gameplay footage (dead link is dead)
IV- More footage
IV- Some pre-order item
IV- Info on the radio stations
IV- more leaked footage
IV- Intro again
IV- PAL version in the wild
IV- Probably commentary on the leak
IV- Footage (but it's Reaprar, so he's probably fucking with you)
IV- A live stream of footage
IV- Don't know. Don't care.
IV- More footage
IV- Likely commentary
IV- Commentary
IV- Discussion on the impact of release
IV- Pew's impressions of the PAL release
VI- Rockstar releasing GTA early due to leak?





So, I was in GameStop last night, plopping down mad cash for the Fallout 3 pre-order (Collectors edition, bitches). We walked in the door with about twenty minutes left until closing, so I was pretty sure the dude behind the counter would be pissed. I remember when I worked closing shifts in retail, the worst thing in the world was a group of people wandering in just before we lock the doors. When time came for us to ring up and leave, motherfucker would not stop talking. He kept trying to show me how large his penis was by naming voice actors from MGS (getting them wrong) and naming "obscure" Atlus titles. I suppose that's preferable to other means of showing how large your penis is, but it was still a bit annoying.

Long story short (too late!), I managed to persuade him to hook me up with the pre-order DVD for MGS4 and gave it a watch last night. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a good little overview of the whole series from its beginnings but there's some things that bother me about it.

I don't know if it's because Kojima can't make up his fucking mind or if it's because of translational issues both over time and with the production of this DVD, but I've never seen a Metal Gear retrospective that has a consistent telling of the story. I know I'm just nitpicking here, but in a story with as much scope and detail as this one, you'd think they could either get all of the story straight in the telling or (worse problem) stop fucking retconning it. I don't know which they're doing here, but it's starting to turn me off to the whole series.

Anyway, I still have a beta code for MGSO (and it's twelve digits). I can't use it, I don't want it. Somebody PM me and take the fucking thing away.

Oh, and if anybody's still sitting on the fence about getting Lost Cities on XBLA, check on Saturday for a review in my On the Table column.



NIGGA STOLE MAH RECAPS



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19 comments | showing # 1 to 19
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tsunamikitsune's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2008 23:16
tsunamikitsune
WHAT CONRAD IS DRIVING HOW CAN THIS BE?!

Great job, Conrad. My friend got a hold of that MGS DVD also, though I've yet to see it. Might have to give that a watch sometime soon.

He's also got a twelve-digit beta code that he's trying to pawn off on someone, if anyone wants it. :P
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2008 23:21
Maurice Tan
Epic recap once again. I'm so glad we don't have any of that Gamestop business over here, yet. I wonder if we'll ever have it what with games being 10%-20% cheaper at "local" online stores.
pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2008 23:23
pendelton21
For some reason, I get such a thrill being on these things and laughing at all the retarded losers who put up failposts.
Revolt in Colour's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2008 23:28
Revolt in Colour
Nice recap.

I'm so fucking tired of GTA IV stuff already.
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2008 23:36
Hamza CTZ Aziz
Whoa, who made the intro photo. That's awesome.
Shin Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2008 23:46
Shin Oni
Grand theft Recap?

That pic makes this blog 200000x winner.
Conrad Zimmerman's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2008 23:47
Conrad Zimmerman
CTZ: I threw it together about an hour before the recap.

It was going to have Sterling in it up until the point I realized that it would then contain the entire cast of Podcastle, which might have been a bit much.
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2008 23:50
HarassmentPanda
Spectacular recap. Looking forward to the Lost Cities review!
DaedHead8's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/23/2008 23:57
DaedHead8
Great recap Conrad. Keep it up.
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/24/2008 00:01
tazarthayoot
Cincinatti NARP, not Cleveland.
Conrad Zimmerman's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/24/2008 00:04
Conrad Zimmerman
@Tazar: Like there's a difference. Sure, Cleveland is more depressing than Cincinatti, but it's like trying to ask which one of Thuper's posts was worse.

I'll fix it, though.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/24/2008 00:08
Darren Nakamura
You should come over for board games! What else are you going to be doing this Saturday?
Conrad Zimmerman's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/24/2008 00:34
Conrad Zimmerman
@Dexter: I'd love to, but I have plans to do Endless Setlist saturday. Plus, it's a six hour hike and I typically work weekends. I'll try to make an LA NARP in the not-too-distant future, though.
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/24/2008 02:53
vexed alex
Damn, Conrad. Your recaps get better and far more entertaining with each one you do. Great work, man.
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/24/2008 06:32
wardrox
Even though you missed me out, that pic is awesome so I can let you off :)
Vlambo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/24/2008 06:57
Vlambo
Damn Conrad, that picture came out awesome.
Brilliam's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/24/2008 08:08
Brilliam
i thought it was the other way around? doesn't Cincinnati out-depress Cleveland?
BlackSheep's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/24/2008 08:45
BlackSheep
finally, the site is letting me comment haha

great recap :)

...yet again
ceark's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/24/2008 11:16
ceark
"motherfucker would not stop talking"
that's when you grab a gamebox off the shelf and slap the sonofa....

Also, I was about to message you for that beta code, and then I remembered how much I hate betas.

great recap. g'luck with that endless setlist. specially if your doing expert (green grass and high tides >.>)
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