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About Me

I am the Deputy News Editor at Destructoid. I write about videogames for a living. That last sentence is as awesome as it sounds, though not always in the ways you might think.

I also play host to Destructoid's live streaming satellite studio, Couchtoid. From there, we broadcast Backlog, an attempt to work through my stack of old games one hour at a time (Weeknights, 10pm Pacific) and Saturday Morning Hangover where Dtoid writer Jordan Devore and the always lovely ImpossiblePlant play often painful games for your amusement (Saturdays, 10am Pacific).

I'm fond of all types of gaming, either on a screen or a tabletop. In terms of video games, my interests vary wildly from platformers (2D preferred) to RPGs and the occasional FPS. The greatest game of all time is Mega Man 2 and any suggestion otherwise will be met with swift vengeance.

E-mail: conrad@destructoid.com
Twitter: ConradZimmerman
Jenny: 867-5309

Currently playing:
Pinball FX 2 (XBLA)
Pac-Man Championship Edition DX (XBLA)
Geometry Wars 2 (XBLA)


Old Features


On the Table


RetRose Tinted


Death by Cartoon

About Rodney Dangerfield:



The mere inclusion of Rodney Dangerfield can vastly improve anything. Films, music, toasters, anything. In particular, the force of Rodney Dangerfield could elevate video games to the level in which they are accepted by the mainstream as a true art form, bringing together people of all races, creeds and tax brackets in peace and harmony.

RIP Rodney.

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Gamertag: Conradtoid

Following (31)

Archive: Death By Cartoon Conrad Zimmerman | 5:21 PM on 04.16.2008 4 comments

What is Death By Cartoon? A masochistic exercise in which I watch episodes of really horrible cartoons based on video games. Each week, I write an in-depth synopsis of a single episode, riddled with commentary, screen captures and, occasionally, multimedia clips. Plus, you get to witness the slow spiral of my sanity leaving me. Why would you do this to yourself? At first, I thought it would be funny. It's not funny. These shows are really, really bad. What is the "SLITOMETER"? This SLITOMETER is a measure of how much an episode makes me want to end my own life. It's a one-to-ten scale, running up the arm. The worse the episode, the longer the cut. What other methods of scoring does Death By Cartoon use? This list is prone to addition as new ideas come to me. You'll see these other scores pop up from time to time: -ICUS Count: The number of times Kid Icarus uses his trademark vocal tic, adding "-icus" to the end of a word, per episode. While an exact number is used for early appearances of this score, it will likely be a percentage in the future. MEGA- Count: Like the -ICUS Count above, but counts the number of times Megamn prefaces a word with "mega-". When do new editions of Death By Cartoon appear? Right now, they won't. The series has been placed on indefinite hiatus. Previous Death By Cartoon columns: 04/16/2008 - Introduction to Death By Cartoon 04/17/2008 - 101: Kevin in Videoland 04/24/2008 - 102: How's Bayou? 05/01/2008 - 103: The Most Dangerous Game Master 05/08/2008 - 104: Videolympics 05/15/2008 - 105: Mega Trouble for Megaland 05/22/2008 - 106: Wishful Thinking 05/29/2008 - 107: Three Men and a Dragon 06/19/2008 - 108: Mr. & Mrs. Mother Brain 07/03/2008 - 109: Nightmare on Mother Brain's Street 07/10/2008 - 110: Simon the Ape Man