Welcome to Commentoid, home of Comments of the Week!
Commentoid is where we take the full range of comments; the ones that make you think, the ones that make you laugh and the ones that make you cry (but also laugh), and compounds them into an entertaining package for the viewing pleasure of you, the Destructoid community.
We do take requests from time to time but be forewarned that messages about insightful commentary, brilliant wit or heartbreaking failure are much more likely to get checked if you send them to the correctly listed officiator for that week.
The combined group of commentive officiators (That lay down the weekly sermon of commentacular commentitude within a relay system of commentatoratiativenessisation!):
We try to go live Wednesday - Friday just to leave some room in everyone's schedules and make sure that there's enough time to post. If a post doesn't go up on Wednesday then don't worry as we're probably not dead.
Because Gen is an intelligent and sensible human being, she took this kind advice just as an intelligent and sensible person ought to. She took it well. (Also, she's a dental student. You know how hard it is to be a dentist?)
We can all breath a sigh of relief knowing that Modern Warfare 3 isn't just another unobtainable dream.
Okay, I'm just going to say this. Jim Sterling's review of the new PS Firmware update is filled with funny comments. I would have just linked the entire Comments of the Week to that page if allowed. I have just selected a very few from a very large pool of funny comments.
Okay, I'm going to assume that the guy is worried that Jim will give it a bad review. My question is: Why should you care? If you think you're going to enjoy the game then go ahead and enjoy the game. WHY DO YOU NEED A NUMBER'S FUCKING APPROVAL?!?!?!?
I was away for a little while, but now I'm back. I guess Xero had to step out for a little while or something, and The Bus asked me to do some Commetingoid. I wasn't super busy, so I said, "sure!"
This week's Commentoid is in honor of the esteemed Dr. Feynman, who is my new hero, ever since I finished reading his book. I can't say enough good things about it: humor, wit, adventures, and science! Totally worth reading.
What a remarkably complete analysis of a pair of gimmicky gaming spectacles. Are you a doctor or something? The stuff you seem to take for granted that glasses-wearing people know is unbeknownst to me, a glasses-wearer for over twenty years.
I was going to comment, but then I noticed The Sama said pretty much exactly what I would have. Let it be known that there still exist shooters that put everyone on a more or less equal playing field at the start of a match.
I won't tarnish these humorous comments with my lame jokes, so instead here is a video of Feynman playing bongos. He was apparently a reasonably competent percussionist in Brazil, where he went to teach for a while.
As a public service announcement, the best way to get comments to the actual Commentoid officiators is to go to the Commentoid blog, look on the sidebar for who is the current one, and PM them. I was lucky to see it this time, Occams!
You do realize that censorship really wouldn't be a big deal if we were talking about things that everyone agrees are good, right? Someone doesn't seem to understand that censorship only really matters when talking about distasteful, horrendous, heinous, or just plain unpopular things.
I'm not a video game historian by any stretch of the imagination, but I can remember sniper rifles as far back as the Railgun in Quake 2. That's quite a long time ago. Or are you redundantly saying that all FPS gaming is "modern"?
I love a good "sarc". I dunno, I just made that word up. It's stupid. Anyway, I couldn't decide whether to put this in LOL or WUT. Ultimately, I noticed WUT was looking a bit light, so there we go.
As compensation for not having anything witty or interesting to say here, I know you're dying to hear what Feynman says about the train after the end of the previous video. I wouldn't dream of keeping that from you.
See, the thing is, trying isn't quite good enough. If you try to fix a game I paid a good $60 for, but fail miserably (as they appear to have done--there are still major, game-breaking glitches today), then that doesn't count for good will. That just makes you look incompetent. I'm also glad you're not a game developer.
I don't know why people latched onto this particular comment when almost everything related to this post was equally vehement and zealous.
Is your brain a fizzing synaptic mess after excessive chocolate and alcohol overload? Hey, welcome to Easter!
Us British folk have a double-header of holidays - the usual Easter celebrations with Friday and Monday off and the Royal Wedding next weekend meaning...another Friday and Monday off! I guess some of you across the pond may care about this and some do not. The sentiment is pretty similar here (apart from the days off, of course). Still, best of luck to them and all that.
Apparently the wedding is to be streamed live on YouTube. Will it get more hits than Rebecca Black? Only time will tell.
From Mortal Kombat on the 360 - worth your time? From the article DISCLAIMER:
Keep your children away from this one. There, I said it, and I mean it. This one should not be sold, or played by, anyone under 18. I'll go into a definitive reason later in the review (and the reason it only received 3 stars), but the disclaimer had to be there. WHen they say M for Mature, they mean it.
Like going to a curry house with a strong dislike of spicy or exotic food, I'm with ChillyBilly on this one. But then, we would start an argument on reviews and whether someone who dislikes a brand of game can fairly review a game in that group. That's a discussion for another time.
"Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: Why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: Why not marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out? Because you are fired." -Cave Johnson
I couldn't really think of anything relevant for a header image, so here's a reminder that Portal 2 comes out in less than a week.
Hey guys. Freak here again, filling in for knutaf. I know this week's post isn't quite on schedule, but writing these things take a lot more time than I expected. Lot of respect for those who do this regularly, I have a hard enough time as a backup.
We got a new interface for the cblogs now, huh? I predict big things happening in Dtoid soon. Maybe we can see Podtoid 2.0 resurface? Hint hint?
Seriously, it's been too long since Podtoid ended. I want to see a new one rise!
Now I'm not going to lie, was kinda hard to find this week's comments. Seemed like not a whole lot happened in the comment sections; its one of the reasons why I was kinda late getting these up. However, if anyone can find better comments from this week, feel free to rub it in my face. I'll admit it, I haven't quite gotten used to the job, and I will accept my lack of experience showing.
I picked this one for a few reasons, but the primary one being that DF brings up some good points about us and reviews. We keep saying that we are tolerant of other reviewers' differing opinions, yet I still know of people who I normally respect will get angry at other people just because they didn't like a game you did. I'm guilty of this as well, and I've tried to stop this as of late. I can't stop anyone, but I would like to remind people that there's a difference between having a counter-argument, and a slam on the person in question. Just consider what it is you're saying before you say it. But you probably don't need me to tell you that. Also, there's a difference between not taking a reviewer seriously, and taking his opinion with a grain of salt.
But in all honesty, the whole blog was filled with great opinionated comments. Debatoid is truly a great idea, and I hope it flourishes.
This is why I stay at Destructoid. No one can match the kind of Community we have. Oh, and Holmes? If you read this, know that I'd gladly send you my regards in currency form, but alas, I am jobless. So all I can send is my hope that you're able to get everything straightened out to the best of your ability, and that they catch the jackholes who burgled you.
That post doesn't have enough F-bombs in it. I also didn't read a whole lot in the post about people being disappointed with Bulletstorm or buying it solely for the purpose of playing the beta, but whatevs.
Natalie Portman in When Carrots Ruled the Earth (due out in Spring 2012)
Greetings, true lovers of the comment! As you may or may not know I have been keeping myself mighty busy with Debatoid, which is doing pretty well. If it wasn't working out though, did I have any backup plans?
Yes Sir, yes indeed I did.
Stickytoid I review the latest in videogame hardware in peripherals; after they have been dipped in maple syrup. Was planning on making it a big hit with the Canadian audience.
MeatLoaftoid I send a load of consoles and games to the legendary rock musician Meat Loaf, along with my email address and instructions on the kind of reviews I'd like to read, and hopefully he responds with some good reviews.
Drinktoid I review games, with the added twist of taking a shot every time I died. My first games were going to be Demon's Souls and Super Meat Boy, so I might hold off on that one for a while.
Cockneytoid Don' knaow if ya cud get yer mince pies round this lil' cracker guv'nor, but the ol' Jackie Chan was to do the ol' blummy Bananarama in proper ol' cockney mush! Right ol' pudding that'd be I tells ya! Knees up Mother Brown!
Poetrytoid Videogame stories in rhyme (or verse)
Thus, did I once chance upon
A preview of that Duke Nukem;
My eyes did scour, and thus did find,
He slapped a dainty femme's behind.
No doubt, you may have heard decree,
The Press (in their indignity)
Did rule the game as one to vex,
The equality rule of sex.
Seriously; the Poetrytoid one might be a keeper. Look out for that one.
Freudtoid We look at videogames and see how everything reminds you of a dick with a kink in it.
For instance, play a bit of Tetris a while...
Ah, looken sie now! Das purple shape ist ein dick mit a kink in it. No qvestion.
From the article Dude. I had the weirdest dream in a long time. It was even better than that time when I dreamt that Microsoft threw a console comparison party and Christian Slater was rapping at a nightclub. In this dream, our editors were answering phones, receiving faxes, and drawing our posts all day as if we were living back when Game Counselors roamed the land -- a time before the Internet would drive them to extinction.
I hear you, man, but for me it was going to be an international call, so I chose to in order to keep money in mah wallets. Doesn't mean I don't regret it...
While small, independently run stores sometimes re-sell cheap supermarket products, it's not often you'll get a major videogame retailer pulling a stunt like this, especially on such a freshly released product. Tesco was offering a launch deal where the system costs £175 when bought with a £34.90 3DS game, which GAME took advantage of. Up to £1049.50 was spent per trip to Tesco, amounting to five bundles' worth.
From the article Nintendo has addressed the situation, confidently stating that it "won't significantly influence" the 3DS' chart performance.
Though you could argue it adds a new, dimension, to it?
Not only did I have to re-read this comment three times to understand it, but the guy's finger on the screenshot doesn't look like Stretch Armstrong's arm at all! In fact, it looks like a dick with a kink in it. Isn't that right Dr Freud?
Ja, dat is unqveschunably a dick mit a kink in it.
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I was going to start this week by telling people my process of how I do Commentoid, but to celebrate the possibly hostile takeover by the new CEO of C-Blog Enterprises, Andrew Kauz, I think I'll go with a corporate office theme this week.