Two weeks ago I bailed out of Comments of the Week, because my dad was in town visiting. Last week I shirked my duties because, well, Halo: Reach
happened. There is some portion of the readers I know will forgive me this laxity.
So what's with editions anyway? Every single thing people do here seems to have an edition attached to it. Surely we can find some new, better way to label our creations? Maybe with model numbers, or version numbers, or the Dewey Decimal system, or GUIDs
Sorry, Xero, for slacking. You can fire me if you'd like; comments of the week is super time consuming when you stress out about doing a good job
. Thanks, VGFreak
, for covering for me last week on short notice. Someday maybe we will gain the same legitimacy as the cappers, but for the meantime we must remain cow
Finally, in the spirit of evolving the column (is this a column now? seems like it would be cool to write for a column, yanno?), I'm going to add a little help for next week's officiator/columnist:
Range of posts analyzed!
Front page: start
Onwards to the hot scoops
From: Enough with all the zombie games!
As someone whose wife loves Halloween more than any other holiday ever, I have to wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment. Grant the poor zombies reprieve just for this month, that they may be celebrated properly.
From: Halo: Reach or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Relevance and Just Write
Law's kind gesture deserves to be recognized. Everyone reading, please recognize it. OK, cool. Alas, the unsightly blemish can never truly be wiped away. At least until Oct. 11. Who knows what could happen then!?
From: Details on why Microsoft dropped a Kinect processor
When you remind me of these things, all I can do is sigh ruefully. I can understand the motivation, though. It goes a little something like this:
From: Bullshit! (Offensive Part 2)
I had to pick this one out because, despite all the big words, he's saying something pretty cool. If I understand it right, the gist is that the more people throw around random curses or seemingly nonsensical phrases, the more our minds quietly adapt towards understanding the underlying meaning of words rather than the literal meaning of what's written. In general, that seems like a useful skill to have built in at an unconscious level. Hopefully I didn't totally mangle that.
From: Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 1 releasing October 13
I know many people who have a fondness in their hearts for the sing-songy Sega boot-up sound. I also remember the "SEGA!" yell from commercials. I miss that, too.
From: Kraid: He's Not Black.....
Seriously, Funk has a ton of hilarious comments. This French accent is totally baffling; at times it reads like a wonky southern accent! I'm doing you all a favor by putting this one on display. For an extra great treat, watch Destructoid LIVE, Part 4
, in which he asks a real live question at the panel that made me bust up big time.
From: I have Jailbroken, Sony.
I don't really need to add anything here. I will say, though, that I'm glad this didn't go run off crazily like Mazmar.
From: What the 3DS should look like.
Since I've got nothing twice in a row, I'll just leave this here. This video has influenced the way I talk in a big way. I'll let you judge if it's for the best.
From: Internet Money Making!
Normally I find Usedtabe's methods to be a little extreme and excessive, but these people assuredly deserve it.
From: Fable III's all-star Hollywood cast detailed
Am I the only one sensing two themes from this week's comments? Money and... Batman? Destructoid is weird. Well, I like money, too.
From: Nintendogs blamed for vicious dog attack
News stories like this always bring out the best, weirdest crap ever. I am quite pleased with this meme, for instance. But this one really made me laugh with its adherence to the theme and its cleverness:
From: Mass Effect 2 – My Moonage Daydream
Seriously, from which woodwork exactly do people like this crawl out of? And how do they find Destructoid of all places?
From: Medal of Honor outrage 'hurt' developer
Is he... praising
Nazis? I can't tell. I'm sorry, but when I read this, all I see is Real Ultimate Power
(as you can see, I prefer the electrical engineer version, since it strikes closer to home).
From: Justify yourself: Convince me that Sonic 4 is sh*t
If nobody cares about Sonic anymore, why is everyone talking about it nonstop? Yeah, I know... I gotta believe! B)
I'm not sure how anyone who's listened to any amount of Podtoid
can really claim that Jim Sterling is simply a troll or has all these crazy biases.
Also, I guess there are apparently three
themes from this week's Commentoid. I hope you enjoyed all of them. The themes, I mean. Well, the comments, too. And me, I guess. Until next time!