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Commentoid avatar 4:46 PM on 04.02.2011
Comments of the Week: CaptainBus watches you when you comment Edition

Natalie Portman in When Carrots Ruled the Earth (due out in Spring 2012)

Greetings, true lovers of the comment! As you may or may not know I have been keeping myself mighty busy with Debatoid, which is doing pretty well. If it wasn't working out though, did I have any backup plans?

Yes Sir, yes indeed I did.

Stickytoid
I review the latest in videogame hardware in peripherals; after they have been dipped in maple syrup. Was planning on making it a big hit with the Canadian audience.

MeatLoaftoid
I send a load of consoles and games to the legendary rock musician Meat Loaf, along with my email address and instructions on the kind of reviews I'd like to read, and hopefully he responds with some good reviews.

Drinktoid
I review games, with the added twist of taking a shot every time I died. My first games were going to be Demon's Souls and Super Meat Boy, so I might hold off on that one for a while.

Cockneytoid
Don' knaow if ya cud get yer mince pies round this lil' cracker guv'nor, but the ol' Jackie Chan was to do the ol' blummy Bananarama in proper ol' cockney mush! Right ol' pudding that'd be I tells ya! Knees up Mother Brown!

Poetrytoid
Videogame stories in rhyme (or verse)

Thus, did I once chance upon
A preview of that Duke Nukem;
My eyes did scour, and thus did find,
He slapped a dainty femme's behind.

No doubt, you may have heard decree,
The Press (in their indignity)
Did rule the game as one to vex,
The equality rule of sex.

Seriously; the Poetrytoid one might be a keeper. Look out for that one.

Freudtoid
We look at videogames and see how everything reminds you of a dick with a kink in it.

For instance, play a bit of Tetris a while...



Ah, looken sie now! Das purple shape ist ein dick mit a kink in it. No qvestion.





From Jokes aside...

From the article
Dude. I had the weirdest dream in a long time. It was even better than that time when I dreamt that Microsoft threw a console comparison party and Christian Slater was rapping at a nightclub. In this dream, our editors were answering phones, receiving faxes, and drawing our posts all day as if we were living back when Game Counselors roamed the land -- a time before the Internet would drive them to extinction.





I hear you, man, but for me it was going to be an international call, so I chose to in order to keep money in mah wallets. Doesn't mean I don't regret it...


From Max Payne 3 isn't dead, here are two new screens







Once the game is released, one of these comments will remain! We'll have to wait and see as to which.


From Interviewing the Interviewer: A silly chat with LawofThermalDynamics





Despite the fact that LawofThermalDynamics is one of my Commentoid bros, I defy anyone to contest Occams' true words.





From Comments of the week: Now subsidized under new parent corporation





No, don't worry, we're not going anywhere! Unless Stevil has some evil plan in 5 months time dun dun dunn?


From Technical Difficulties: A true opponent stands before me





Occams illustrates the hidden danger of buying preowned.


From NOT VERY MUCH X3






You are all invited to the raptor evangelist disco. If you are under 6.


From Retailer buys 3DS units from one store to sell preowned in another store
From the article:
UK retailer GAME has admitted that it got staff members to buy 3DS units from another store in order to re-sell them as pre-owned items at its own outlets.

While small, independently run stores sometimes re-sell cheap supermarket products, it's not often you'll get a major videogame retailer pulling a stunt like this, especially on such a freshly released product. Tesco was offering a launch deal where the system costs £175 when bought with a £34.90 3DS game, which GAME took advantage of. Up to £1049.50 was spent per trip to Tesco, amounting to five bundles' worth.





From the article
Nintendo has addressed the situation, confidently stating that it "won't significantly influence" the 3DS' chart performance.

Though you could argue it adds a new, dimension, to it?



From Review: WWE All Stars, Tony Schiavone Edition





Hmm, so the wrestlers would have to have their picnic in the park...what would that look like?




From Live Show: We're playing Dishwasher 2 early on Hangover






Seriously; Max isn't gonna like you for saying that, Corduroy!


From Revisiting the first Half Life: Why it is my favourite PC game of all time





tldr but all their avatars looked cool so I pit it in mah blawg dawg.





From Nintendo dislikes small indie studios but also loves em





IV Backstab MC wrote to Epic complaining about the language in Bulletstorm... he said it wasn't sweary enough.


That was it. There weren't any other wut comments! Seriously man, I looked really really hard!
Oh, ok, I did find one:


From Gorge on these lovely Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim shots!





Not only did I have to re-read this comment three times to understand it, but the guy's finger on the screenshot doesn't look like Stretch Armstrong's arm at all! In fact, it looks like a dick with a kink in it. Isn't that right Dr Freud?


Ja, dat is unqveschunably a dick mit a kink in it.


Please remember to tip your waiter and PM Commentoid if there are any comments you would like included in next week's roundup!

CaptainBus

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