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About
Welcome to Commentoid, home of Comments of the Week!

Commentoid is where we take the full range of comments; the ones that make you think, the ones that make you laugh and the ones that make you cry (but also laugh), and compounds them into an entertaining package for the viewing pleasure of you, the Destructoid community.

We do take requests from time to time but be forewarned that messages about insightful commentary, brilliant wit or heartbreaking failure are much more likely to get checked if you send them to the correctly listed officiator for that week.

The combined group of commentive officiators (That lay down the weekly sermon of commentacular commentitude within a relay system of commentatoratiativenessisation!):


5. Sean Daisy the wise!


1. Xero the brave!


2. Knutaf the strong!


3. Xzyliac the courageous!


4. LawofThermalDynamics the daring!


6. Handy the valiant!

Back ups:


VGFreak the backupest of the backups!



We try to go live Wednesday - Friday just to leave some room in everyone's schedules and make sure that there's enough time to post. If a post doesn't go up on Wednesday then don't worry as we're probably not dead.
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Following (10)  




Oh. Never mind. You keep it.

Welcome to Comments of the Week Extra! It's the stuff that didn't make it into Comments of the week after people complained that 10 pages of pictures don't count as a comment. They had a fair point, but I also noticed that a lot of people didn't care and loved it.

We'll be playing fast and loose with previous conventions such as categories, and skipping straight to great comments you may have missed from around the interspace.

Let's roll!

From Full COG armor? Also, transgender Link pics. Also also, Spider-Man pics.


From Good gay, fine sirs and madams.


























From Hello Dtoid [Beware My Overuse Of The Word, .. Community =p]




After all that, I think it's time to end on a song.

Sing along with my Captain Busmunk remix! (WARNING: Not recommended for dogs or the capable of hearing)

What a thrill...
With darkness and silence through the night
What a thrill...
I'm searching and I'll melt into you
What a fear in my heart
But you're so supreme!

I'd give my life
Not for honor, but for you! [Snake Eater]
In my time there'll be no one else
Crime, it's the way I fly to you! [Snake Eater]
I'm still in a dream,
Snake Eater!

Someday you go through the rain
And someday, you feed on a tree frog
This ordeal, the trial to survive
For the day we see new light!

I'd give my life
Not for honor, but for you! [Snake Eater]
In my time there'll be no one else
Crime, it's the way I fly to you! [Snake Eater]
I'm still in a dream,
Snake Eater!

I am still in a dream,
Snake Eater!
[Snake Eater]

Sean Daisy








13 months ago, this happened:



From Occams thoughts on a Wednesday




5 days ago, this happened:



From Sean Daisy's Inbox





Here is my tribute to one of the guys who got me back on the site, and got me back into doing Comments of the Week. I'm going to look back on his Commentoid contributions and pick some of the highlights. This is all GoldenGamerXero's original flavor.



From: EA wants Dead Space to be as big as Resident Evil



I prefer games that keep all the good things in other games but always add in something fresh to not be too similar.



From: Angry Birds boss claims consoles are dying




This guy is acting like Kanye West of video game developers. No one wants to be the Kanye West.



From: The nature of the videogame review




NOTE TO ALL COMMENTERS!
Disagreement with any way that game reviews are treated in the industry will get you in the truth section on my weeks.

NO EXCEPTIONS ícept if youíre a dick about it because that just ainít cool brah





From: Halo 4 start of a new trilogy, coming Holiday 2012




Before I used to feel bad when I missed a troll and saw great material like this go to waste but now I like to fill in the blanks of what they actually said. Right now Iím imaging a very posh sounding gentleman writing about how Halo ďcannot satisfy his intellectual need for depth that only a PS3 could attain. Or tits.Ē



From: Square Enix: Wii U needs a strong launch lineup






OH SNAP!



From: Indie rock band 'The National' lend song to Portal 2




They all look so excite



[b]From: Molyneux: Fable 3 not so great, Fable 4 must amaze you




Okay Peter I get it. You like including finer details rather than important gameplay features or hiring decent writers but all I wanna know is where are our acorns and WHERE THE FUCK ARE OUR TREES?!



From: See Sentinel, Hsein Ko in hot Marvel vs Capcom 3 action





Manrection is one of my new favourite words from the Dtoid dicktionary. Right after clitbutter.



From: I Am Alive now a PSN, XBLA title out this year




Jesus Christ. I fucking love you guys.



From: PS3 owners demand refund for inferior Black Ops




Kudos to the four involved in this beautiful rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. It put a smile on my face as I read through the derp.



From: Best Buy's Black Friday doorbusters revealed




WHAT A TWIST!





And here comes the easy pa... Wait Mattrodroid was banned!



Where the hell am I supposed to find something crazy enough to replace him!

Oh. Oh this will do:

From: Nintendo posts huge loss in first quarter



Seriously guys WTF? For those wondering if I took these comments out of context go check the thread. This pretty much comes out of nowhere.

From: E3: First impressions of Prototype 2




RAGE! DELICIOUSRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!Ē!Ē1!!!!¨



From: In which I break down why Homefront's plot is impossible




Matt is really starting to remind me of a less cool and likeable version of the question:





From: Codies: Gran Turismo 5 could be acused of being boring




Have you ever had a comment just make you go ďwut?Ē because this one just made me do that. It wasnít because of the stupidity of what was said or anything it was just the randomness of it. Look at the comment in context and itís still pretty stupefying.




EPILOGUE


From Comments of the week: Xero is an unreliable bag of dicks edition

Tom and Jerry never stops being funny

Well stuff happened like my internet breaking down, watching the entire first season of Adventure Time, trying to learn C++, designing a small game with some friends and as per usual school so Comments of the Week will be late this week. This is all you guys want anyway so you shouldnít miss me much till Monday Ė Tuesday.

Hereís some awesome C-Blog shit that happened that most you the guys that read this are probably in:




MOAR!!!




EVEN MOAR!!!

In case any of you care about our game idea Ė Itís a point and click adventure game/turn based RPG in the vein of Monkey Island games, Escape the room style flash games, Earthbound and Paper Mario about a astronaut without a face who goes exploring with some other fellow faceless guys on a spaceship in order to find a evil guy whoís warping reality. It starts off in an infirmary and escalates with him buying weapons, items and other miscellaneous goods from the TV shopping channel that are helpfully delivered to him by a space delivery boy.

Itís an unnamed project that weíll probably decide its shit and give up before we actually get anyway half decent but hey at least we tried. As long as we have something to do from the next year or so Iíll be happy. Iím designing the characters, enemies and rooms as well as helping with scripting, puzzle design, music and programming. Some concept art [doodles] by me and friends can be found in the gallery below.


Xero



From Sean Daisy's Sent box













Hey guys! I'm guesting this week. Been a while since I contributed to the C-Blogs but it feels great to be back. Things have been crazy busy. Got accepted into college, working at a local video game store, writing reviews for a site called VideoGameWriters, Tweetin'. A lot has happened since I popped up in here. Only recently have I gotten back into the habit of commenting like I used to.

By the way, if you're not on Twitter you totally should be. A good majority of the entertaining Dtoiders are there and it's awesome hearing their random thoughts and opinions on things video game related and beyond. Plus, it's fun as hell. It is a little weird at first but once you get into it it just becomes one giant forum basically.

Lastly, major congrats to Mr. Andy Dixon who is now our proud community manager!

P.S. When did video enabling die around here? Awww...now this post is gonna be worse than it already is. :(



From: The Jimquistion: Accountability



YES! Iíve always said that the universal $60 standard is one of the stupidest things about this generation. I have yet to find the justification for the $60 standard, especially for small B-list titles. Some will say itís the increase in hardware power and expectations from the community but as the development process is being streamlined and digital distribution increases in popularity how can anyone justify a $60 price tag for so many games? Even more insulting is when you work in the video game retail scene, your friends start breaking into the industry and you begin to learn the real value of hard copies before they go up on shelves. Itís ridiculous.

From: Review: Shadows of the Damned



This is the logic I give everyone and I write reviews myself. If it looks good, play it. Reviews be damned and universal acclaim only goes so far. Experience something you feel mixed about or that you even hate. Youíll learn a lot.

From: Sonyís ĎWelcome Backí Promotion On PSN Ends Today



Can we please stop even acknowledging this kid? Ignore him. No ďYouíre 12,Ē or ďStop being a troll!Ē From an ex-fanboy, he lives for the attention.

Heís not even a fun troll.

From: Selling Violent Videogames to Children



This happens so much more than people are willing to realize. I canít tell you how many times Iíve head [SarahPalinAccent] ďOh, I donít like him playing this game but heís played it some much by now at his friendís house,Ē [/SarahPalinAccent]. Thatís like me saying ďI donít want lung cancer but I smoke already so I might as well keep smoking.Ē

Oh wait, that happens too. [/sigh]

From: GUYS, GET OVER IT! Girls Games. Some Donít



Usually I never waltz into these posts because itís always the same tired conversation. Someone says something about how girls play video games and someone says itís a tired subject and people agree, end scene. This however I thought was a surprisingly insightful transaction.

---

People usually post videos and stuff in their responses. I donít know if Iíll be able to find anything relevant so Iíll drop this here:


The real mu'fuckin' Harley Quinn!



From: Spoiler warning: non-final build of Gears of War 3 leaked



From: Shadows of the Damned Gets A Launch Trailer



Truth be told this whole thread was great but this was what was on my hard drive.

---

OOPS! I actually didnít keep a very good eye out for this one. Hereís another video:

Alice Dixon?



From: The Jimquistion: Accountability



How did I come up with this particular WUT? I printed out all of mattrodroidís comments, blindfolded myself, threw a dart, and WHACK!

From: Itís the Prototype Facebook game youíve been waiting for!



Wow. Okay.

1. You foresaw this travesty and therefore decided to stick it to the man by buy the alternative title that isnít even a direct competitor?

2. In order to protest against this diabolical act you decided to buy the game where you could run around fucking up the city that is based on a city that has seen massive natural disasters?

3. How the hell does this show favor for hacking in any way, shape or form? Does infamous 2 show support for beating the shit out of street performers?

4. The fuck does ďf@ckingĒ mean?

Wut?

From: Shadows of the Damned and Mexican machismo



God, stupidity parading as enlightenment is fascinating.

---

Well this was fun! Really late but fun nonetheless. Thanks to Sean ďCaptainBusĒ Daisy for the opportunity! Iíd like to leave my legacy by sharing a wonderful image our own Occamís shared with me.



Iíll see yíall in the comments! And on the Twitterz! AndÖaround. How do hang up this thing? Did that do it? I think so. So anyways, Iím in the shower and next thing I know I heard Donít Stand So Close to Me but Iím the only one in the house so I walk out, and I donít think to wear a towel becauseÖoh is it still on? Shit, here you hang it up.


Xzyliac










Yoho Dtoid! A lotís happened since Iíve been doing real world stuff and not coming by here as much. It feels... smaller than before. And did we get rid of the trolls? This place seems pretty relatively troll free compared with before. Maybe people are getting less stupid (or maybe Jimís just not writing as much) but itís an improvement. Because I was so happy to be back Commentoiding I decided to make up for no one covering last week as well. And then I remembered what happened these last two weeks.I remembered E3. All 13 Ė in headline format Ė tabs of it.

Oh Dear God. And so it begins.



From: http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-server-hacked-no-casualties-202902.phtml



You know at the beginning of this mess I supported the hacker side of the dispute as it seemed like the way that lead to most freedom of what you could do with your console but then Sony got hacked, credit card information was stolen and every bit of moral high ground that way had was promptly shat upon.

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-microsoft-conference-stream-and-liveblog-202897.phtml



Just to note: I donít hate Kinect or think that most people do and I expect everyone to go back to just not giving two shits by the end of next week but Iíll be damned if Microsoft expects us to keep on letting that thing suck up precious E3 stage time till it dies. It wasnít cool when Wii Music did it and itís not cool now.
From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-fable-the-journey-is-a-kinect-rail-shooter-202961.phtml



Pfft no one is that-




I stand corrected. My faith in humanity has just halved; and to think I didnít consider it possible to divide by zero.

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-pikmin-3-is-officially-coming-to-wii-u-203253.phtml



I think everyone whoís ever played a Pikmin game will agree with this sentiment.




From: http://www.destructoid.com/uncredited-l-a-noire-devs-speak-out-202757.phtml



Part of me was attempted to put this is truth in an attempt to be meta. The other parts beat the crap out of that part for using the word meta.

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-power-a-announces-crazy-batarang-controllers-202760.phtml



Robin: Holy arthritis Batman! What the heck are those things!
Batman: The only evil that I canít defeat with stupidity and cash Robin... Stupid cashgrabs. Fear not for the day of this vile villainís victory has yet to come.
Robin: Really Batman!
Batman: Yeah these things will fucking tank in sales. Now come on letís get some hookers and blow.

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-insomniac-to-unveil-multiplatform-game-on-monday-202848.phtml



You see I understand why people think like this as itís basic maths really. When a developer releases on 2 consoles then they have to therefore halve the amount of fun you have with the game. Itís just how video game programing works. Thereís also a machine that runs on play-doh and magic dolphins involved but I think Iíve said too much.

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-halo-4-start-of-a-new-trilogy-coming-holiday-2012-202944.phtml



Before I used to feel bad when I missed a troll and saw great material like this go to waste but now I like to fill in the blanks of what they actually said. Right now Iím imaging a very poosh sounding gentleman writing about how Halo ďcannot satisfy his intellectual need for depth that only a PS3 could attain. Or tits.Ē

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-nintendo-s-project-cafe-is-right-behind-these-doors--202885.phtml



This man is truly a master of the modern metaphor. I smell Nobel prize of literature candidate in the making.

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-the-force-is-strong-with-kinect-stars-wars-details-202899.phtml



The only redeeming quality of Kinect is that it as shown everyone how not to do motion controls. Itís the virtual boy of motion controllers.

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-rumor-nintendo-keeps-it-simple-for-wii-successor-name-202903.phtml



I rewatched Batman Begins a while back and I still canít get the words ďIím BatmanĒ out of my head. Seriously why do gritty Batman interpretations always end up being so laughable.

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-dtoid-discusses-the-microsoft-press-conference-202971.phtml



THE SARCASM READINGS ARE OFF THE CHARTS!

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-how-will-sony-handle-the-psn-issue-tonight--203008.phtml



Handy, bro, never change.

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-fable-the-journey-it-s-not-on-rails--203409.phtml



Mr. Dixon I want you to know it was 11PM when I was that message and I wanted to stop looking for additions till I read the inbox Ė Yes we still do read those on occasions I now have proof! Ė and I saw that you thought you had made a real good funny. I sighed, looked at my monitor and proclaimed that if that comment didnít floor me that I was going to bed and posting this blog Saturday.
...
You got lucky.



From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-the-rubbish-ms-will-announce-for-xbox-360-202831.phtml



Oh Jim. You always bring out the worst in people.

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-what-i-want-for-the-ngp-or-ps-vita-revisited-202867.phtml



Iím actually disappointed that people tell themselves things like this. Tinfoil hat edition was two weeks ago bub.

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-first-impressions-of-prototype-2-201733.phtml



RAGE! DELICIOUSRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!Ē!Ē1!!!!¨

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-minecraft-announced-for-xbox-360-with-kinect-support-202963.phtml



You will all never know how badly I wanted to Truth this comment because of how freaking sick I am of Minecraft.

From: http://www.destructoid.com/e3-hands-on-with-the-legend-of-zelda-skyward-sword-203195.phtml



Dear Taerdin

I understand that the Zelda series isnít your cup of tea but I would request Ė if I may be so bold Ė that you simply quit your bitching in every thread I come across to do with the topic.

Youíre entitled to your opinion but thereís no such thing as a right to spam.

Yours shutthefuckupingly
Xero

And now is a special time in Comments of the Week as I believe a particular user has shown himself to be more of an utter twat than thought humanly possible. I present to you all the remains of The Legendary Biohazard. Such a troll was a perfect example of why fanboys are lower than cockroaches and portmanteaus should be banned (honestly I havenít heard/read someone seriously use the term Xbots since 2009).

So Biohazard when you inevitably arise from your troll grave like a sickly, aged, zombie afterbirth to plague us once again I would like to award you with Commentoidís very first:



Are trolls really just hairy, badly modelled, versions of Mr. Destructoid? We will never know...

Perhaps you will be honoured with the gesture for long enough to realise how stupid youíve been recently and become a helpful and treasured member of the Destructoid community.

But whatís more likely is that youíd come back, call us all Sony hating retards/gays/whatever is the most popular derogatory statement among preteens, then get banned and fuck off again.

Because youíre 12

Thatís it for today guys. I planned on doing both weeks in one blog but I think Iíll do the next part some other time (if none of the other guys volunteer that is)


Xero








Hey everybody! Itís time for Comments of the Week, categorizing comments so you donít have to think for yourself!



So, E3 is next week, Iím sure you didnít notice know because nobody mentioned it lately, but are you ready? Truly ready? Have you prepared food for the conferences? The emergency food for unexpected announcements? The comfort food for the motion control segments? Do you have your excuse for not going to work for a week? Have you prepared your body for lounging around for a week? Have you prepared your mind for crushing disappointment?

Do you have the champagne on ice for when they announce Persona 5 and the revolver loaded for when they donít?





From : Rumor: Europe to receive The Last Story.





Spare a thought for your European brothers/superiors.



From: Hacking group threatens ďthe endĒ of Sony










This is just a crumb of the Truth Sandwich that was the comments section of this story, most of it boiled down to ďfuck hackersĒ along with many interesting ways to mention anal sex...but thereíll be plenty of that later.









From: Corduroy Turtleís caption contest results






From: Brink patched for pc








From: Typhlosion Transformation





This one just cracked me up.



From: Nintendo do not care about you












I concur.



From: Letís Talk Turkey

It all started with this innocent picture



Then, something beautiful happened.

















All well and good, until it went to Knutafís head





From: Mysterious Nintendo film shoot involves Zelda Williams








I ainít nevah had a friend.


Thatís all.




Kill me.



From: Cosplay calendar to aid Japanese relief efforts.











Buttsex seems to be the unofficial theme of Dtoid this week.









From: Thank Christ for that: PSP firmware update 6.39 coming













You decide Dtoid.

Have we missed out on a much better story here?





Huh? Thatís it? Barely any Wut this week, thatís disappointing...well, I mean, itís good for the site and all, but whatever, weíll have more than we can handle with E3 next week.

Well Iíve got nothing left to rant about so I guess weíll just end on that unsatisfying note...





































UH-OH! Did somebody say ďRANTĒ?

You know what that means!

ITíS TIME FOR....


























Look out Chad, theyíre after the dolphins now!




Thatís it for this week. I had lots of great suggestions from the community this week that where a huge help! Feel free to PM the Commentoid account or whoever the current Commentoider of the week is with any suggestions. And remember to watch your manners during E3, because weíre watching you.

Always watching.





Always.





With boners.


Handy








Now that I'm a Dad, Octonauts the kind of stuff I watch. Now, I am giving you get the opportunity to watch it.

It's about a bunch of animals having undersea adventures. Is that underselling it? Apologies if I have, because it is actually very good.








From Justin Wong wins $10,000 at the Mortal Kombat 9 Nationals



I'm all about this when talking about video games in general. If I hear anyone on TV talk about video games, who haven't got a clue what they're talking about, it makes me sick.

I remember the time I heard someone on the radio call Metroid Prime a first person shooter.


From L.A. Noire gets new DLC June 21st



I would play the shit out of a Police Squad! game. Guess the closest I'd get to that would be Sam & Max: Freelance Police.



From Hackers continue to attack Sony, start stealing money



That's all they really waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant
That's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall
When the working day is done,
oh nerds, they want to have fu-un.
Nerds just wanna have...

Nerds, they wanna
they wanna have
nerds they wanna,
wanna have..

keyboard solo





From Comments of the Week: Schrodinger's Cat




From Duke Nukem web game makes women get naked
FTA:In conclusion, this game is dumb and not very sexy, not least of all because the women really don't look like they're enjoying themselves very much. Where's the fun in that?



Remember, Andy, if she wakes up, just say you dropped a contact lens down there. The excuse should work even if you don't wear lenses.



From Bioware talks building up to Mass Effect 3s Ending








From XBox 360 Firmware issue prompts console replacement plan










From Sony 'sorry' if you own all the Welcome Back PSN games






From What new LEGO game would you love to see



At Vajoiner Comments, we triple bake the wut? Starting with a simple LEGO bake, we take the cannibal second bake you may have seen from some of our competitors, and add a third holocaust bake for the flavor you love.






From Venting Anger



Honestly? I thought I was doing a good mexican accent.



From Long Time Listener, first time caller




I agree. He was a much better member of the clan than MC Hammer.


FromThe Bar






From PS3 FNF: May 20th







Please remember to tip your waiter and PM Commentoid if there are any comments you would like included in next week's roundup!

CaptainBus