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Cletus the Fetus's blog

4:20 PM on 06.19.2008

Modern Classics Vol 1: Futuristic Hover Frisbee to the Death

Modern Classics is a review-esque thing I'll be doing every once in a while, mostly just because I can, but also to keep my writing skills alive over the summer(even if they were barely alive in the first place). There are no indents because it won't let me for some reason.

What do you get when you cross basketball, rugby, and professional wrestling, replace the ball with a space-age Frisbee, throw in some robots and ninjas, and pump everything with 14 thousand gallons of steroids? You get the best fucking sports game ever. Deathrow, developed for the Xbox by SouthEnd Interactive and published by Ubisoft in 2002, is the best sports game you've probably never heard of.
Deathrow, contrary to the what the title might make you think, is not a game about prison. The name refers to a charged up throw that explodes when it hits something. It is one of the few games that actually makes up its own sport that could really only be played in a videogame. The premise of the game is a futuristic sport called Blitz, a competition between two teams of four to get the space-age anti-gravity Frisbee through the other team's goal, by any means necessary. You can choose play with rules, but, honestly, who wants to do that? There are two overall modes in the game: sports view, which has an overhead camera, and action view, which has a Zeldalike 3rd person camera. Action view is much more fun to play.

The best thing about Deathrow is simply that it's really fun. The game obviously doesn't take itself too seriously, what with all the robots and Ninjas and excessive swearing and Mortal Kombat style violence. This is game in which a Robot will scream "Fuck you, Bitch!" in his electronic robovoice, roundhouse kick someone in the face, and run off with their Frisbee. The teams are pretty nuts, consisting of robots, ninjas, mutants, space marines, cyborgs, women in wetsuits with ridiculous Russian accents, asteroid miners, convicts, and a few others. Each team has two arena's specific to them, one for action view, and one for sports view. The sports view ones (which can also be played are your basic rectangles and ovals, but the action view levels are much more interesting, with jump pads, multiple tiers, and other obstacles.

The game also has more depth than you might think at first. Once you get used to the controls, you'll learn to time your attacks, how to use the slide kick and tackle for more than attacking, when and how to throw the disc for maximum accuracy, how to curve a shot, how to use Deathrows, and other tactics. There's even a dedicated flip the bird button (as seen above), which can be used to distract enemy AI. The game has 4 player splitscreen (with the game's excellent AI filling in the empty spots), and 8-player system link, but sadly no online play. One of the Unlockable modes adds two more Frisbees to the game, which is chaotic as hell, but fun as hell too.
However, the game is, of course, not perfect. The movement controls can be annoying sometimes, particularly when strafing, though eventually you'll get used to it. There's no online play, and splitscreen could be a bit difficult to play on smaller TV's. the game can be pretty hard in single player, and it will take a pretty long time to unlock everything without cheating.

There are tons of unlockables, mostly teams and arenas unlocked in the career mode, but there's also a cheat if you want to skip all that: just enter SouthEnd as your profile name. The game has terrible techno music, but thankfully gives you the option to use custom soundtracks. I recommend "King of the Surf Guitar: The Best of Dick Dale & The Del-Tones." The surf rock is a perfect fit for the game. If you have a 360 you can play the game too, since it's backwards compatible. The graphics have aged pretty well, so it won't hurt your little eyes if you're spoiled by fancy modern graphics. Gamestop sells the game used for really cheap, around 5 bucks. If you see it, get it, you won't be disappointed.

Deathrow is an over the top, action packed, excessively macho sports game that is definitely one of a kind. It's awesome.   read

12:38 PM on 06.18.2008

Various Stuff

So, as I've said before, I've taken it upon myself to play all the awesome games from the PS2/Xbox/Gamecube generation. I'm going to write about each game either as I play it, or when I beat it. I'll probably throw in some older games and portable games too. I know that a lot of other people are doing similar things, so I'll try to do games that they haven't. The first one will be up on Friday.

In other News:

Crappy TV channel VH1 is doing "I love the New Millenium," which is stupid, since we're only 7 years into it. Unless they have a time machine.

This guy made a kickass metal tribute album commemorating Castlevania 3. It rawks.

Here's an awesome retro gaming site I found.   read

5:16 PM on 06.16.2008

Probably The Best Video Ever That Involves Bunny-girls, Darth Vader, Radishes, and Electric Light Orchestra

So I was reading the Wikipedia Article on Fooly Cooly, one thing led to to another, and I found
myself watching an awesomely ridiculous video. Specifically, this one, the Daicon IV opening, made by Gainax, and featuring the song "Twilight" by ELO, one of the best bands ever:


Mind: blown.   read

1:00 PM on 06.16.2008

My Game Room/Collection

So, I thought I'd start off my C-blog with a photographical tour of my Gaming Room/Collection/Underground lair. So, without further ado, Here it is:

My gaming setup is in the one furnished room in my basement, hence the concrete floors and the dimness (only one window). The darkness is good for gaming and movie-watching, though, since there's usually no glare. Pretty comfy room other than the concrete floors, though every once and a while I have to lug the Vacuum down the stairs and wage war on the bloodthirsty hordes of spiders that crawl in from the dark, foreboding wilderness of my basement. My childish fear of said spiders makes this a whole lot worse than it sounds.

Here is my enormous TV from the mid 90's, and my awesome surround sound. The posters are mostly my brother's, since he doesn't want me filling this place with my nerdtacular posters. I have no idea who Jeff Buckley is, but he has a sweet jacket. Forgot to turn of the camera flash, but oh well.

Here are my game systems: On the left is the veteran of the lot, an N64 I recently got (it's actually my brother's, he got it for Goldeneye). The game in it is Mario 64. Next is my most beloved console ever, and my first non-portable one, the Gamecube. So many good memories with that one. Moving on, we have the fatass American, the Xbox, a console that constantly pisses me the fuck off with its disc read errors. Finally, on the far right, is the Ps2, my second favorite console (after the Gamecube). The N64, Gamecube, and Xbox are/can be hooked up to surround sound, but there sadly aren't enough ports to plug in the PS2. It's okay PS2, i still love you. I have no current/next/whatever generation consoles because I've decided to beat all or most of the awesome games from the GCN/PS2/Xbox generation before I even think about getting one. Eventually, though, I'll get a PS3 so I can play MGS4 and LittleBigPlanet.

These are just some games that I've been playing recently, or were randomly lying around. Xenosaga, FFIX and Jade Empire are some of my favorite RPGs, but FFVII is not, because the fact that they switch from being Lego dudes to being normal dudes constantly irritates me a TON. Also shown here are some random DVD's, including the best sitcom evar.

And here we have my glorious collection of 90+ awesome games, organized by system. Most of the PS2 and Xbox games were bought used. Not shown here are Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams for Xbox, and Twisted Metal Black, Disgaea 2, and Shadow of the colossus for PS2, all of which have been borrowed by friends.

Here's my Brothers stuff, mostly sports and military games, since he was born without an imagination. That mysterious Xbox randomly appeared one day. We use it for LAN Ghost Recon and Halo.

Finally, we have my portable collection, with my DS lite and PSP slim. My first game system was a purple Gameboy Color I got for my 8th Birthday in 1999. It broke right before the GBA came out, so I got one of those for my Birthday in 2001, and then that broke right before the DS came out in 2004, so I got one of those for Christmas. That DS got a broken hinge from a fall, so I gave it to my brother and got a DS lite. Not shown here is Sword of Mana for GBA which was lost, and Super Mario Bros. Deluxe for GBC, which is somewhere in my brother's room.

So, that's all for now, but I'll be back soon with various rad things for you folks.   read

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