Good day to you my brothers and sisters of Destructoid. First off, a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the greatest community site on the internetz. That's right, Facebook just turned.... joking joking. I don't even have Facebook, probably the only person in the world, so I've decided that I will start telling everyone that I was the first guy kicked off the site and am now bezzie mates with Tom "look at me in my white t-shirt, I'm so fucking Weezer" Myspace.

I digress, oui oui. So, yes, I have just moved uptown. I was living in the right end of Tottenham, which is still very very very wrong in many many many ways. I am now residing in Kentish Town... That's in North London to all you ignoranuses out there, I love you all without question. It's a nice little place, in a carpeted (ooooh) apartment building that makes me feel like Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta are about to bust around the corner eating Big Macs.


* near my road, maybe 5 minutes walk. I past this in a van the other day. Jealous? Yes.

So, why that title about being "out in the cold"? I hear you ask the way little Oliver begged his master for sloppy seconds. I tell you why, chap: I haven't been able to play much of my PlayStation 3 (most powerful console on the market) over the past week. you know what, I played a couple of matches of Fifa 09, offline manager mode, you know how we do... But even that felt a little off as I have no internet connection at the mo.

Basically, I'm in ALPHA "we are the shiz" TEAM on KILLZONE 2, the most amazing looking game to NEVER hit a 360 this side of the world ending, but I haven't been able to join a match since last Friday. That's a whole week and I'm only on two fucking stripes so far. I ain't even got a star and mother Fs are all gonna be running around with sniper rifles picking off my arse like it was a can of Dr. Pepper on a corner shop shelf. Don't even start, that's not racist, even though I'll probably be done for using black lettering and talking about Samuel L. Jackson.

Help me help you. Once I get back in to the swing of things, I'll be running maps like it's everyone's birthday, but, right now, I'm gonna be sitting there... not now, I'm at work. Tonight! I'm gonna be sitting there tonight staring at Warhawk thinking: "What teh fuck is going on? I'm craving you so badly, for the first time in six months, and I can't even play you." Damn this cruel place, but I shall return, so don't forget me yet.

Everyone well?

Ps. Yesterday was my four-year anniversary with the misses. She's been very good to me! I love her!