Combining that word with that phrase should give every gamer goosebumps, but the problem remains that video game movies have a greater potential for greater terribleness than any other movie adaptation. Indeed, I am pumped. The thought of an exceptional on-screen adaptation has crossed my mind, but it doesn’t step out of the shadow of the fear, the fear it’s going to suck harder than a little sister’s big syringe.

Why do video game movies fail to tell a decent a story or portray captivating characters when adapted to film? One of the biggest problems is that books, plays, television shows all already have narrative as where games have gameplay. The narrative has to be filled in. Often the experimental garbage they jam in that gap sinks the movie—especially when’s its actual footage from the game. Thank you much, Uwe Boll, for ruining House of the Dead, not to mention Alone in the Dark.

Other game movies such as Mario Brothers and Double Dragon drifted too far from the source material to seek out a plot. The problem is that these movies have a built in fan base, and the going perception seems to be that if a PG-13 rating is stamped on it then it can at least make some money regardless of the content. Bioshock can easily suffer this fate, cheap action marketed to simple minds.

The movie needs to be R, period. The subject matter is mature. It’s Ayn Rand meets Locke meets gore fest. Do not dumb this one down, so teenagers that button mashed through the game’s back-story anyway can populate the theaters. For once, we have a brilliant narration interwoven into the gameplay. This could work. It just has to be done right. Hollywood, would you kindly, not ruin Bioshock.