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A Cast of Thousands: Mario
Christiangamer | 9:10 PM on 07.01.2008 7 comments


Mario is the greatest fictional character of all time. Now that that is out of the way, I'll tell you why.


I'ma

He taught me at a very young age to never give up. Ever. Even when your girl rejects you, keep trying. Even when you don't think you can make the soccer team, work for it. Even when you're working on a video project for school and it takes you the whole day to edit the friggen video and your computer just up and quits on you, redo it. That's what Mario does. That princess gets captured, and that Ol' Mario just jumps into action. He does it time and time again. Never complaining. You don't really see that in other video game characters. Heck, Luigi complains in SuperStar Saga. Not Mario. He's a man of actions.


Charging

I'm young. 16, blah blah, y'all might already know that. I've basically grown up with Mario. My parents got me into classic Nintendo at a very young age. I always played SMB3. Favorite game back then. I'd go to school and all my friends would be playing this new crap, and they'd be talking about Goku and Superman and all the crap they'd do, and Mario couldn't do anything. He can jump high, that's pretty much it. Give him a flower and he can shoot fireballs. Give him a cape and he can fly. Mario alone, is just a regular man, adapting to the situation. He doesn't have the muscles like the GI Joes, he doesn't have nun chucks, he doesn't even shoot guns, but he gets the dag gum job done. It's okay to be pudgy. It's okay to be short. It's okay to be hairy. That's what Mario has taught me. Even though, my mom calls me anorexic (who's mom doesn't?), and I'm not short, I've always felt a close relation to Mario. Mario has always made me feel like I ain't got to compare myself to Pecs McAbby and his 10 girlfriends.


My

Mario also taught me that looks don't matter much. Case and point, Johnny Lovits. Oh, and Mario and Peach. It's all about skillz when it comes to da' girlies. Word? Mario taught me, that I ain't got to worry about being the handsomest guy, I need to worry about excelling what I've been gifted with. You don't see Mario shaving his mustache or plucking his eyebrows. Coincidentally, I do both of those things, but that's besides the point.

Laser!

Plus I kind of sorta look like Mario, so I guess that's why I've always felt a connection or bond with him.

Me as an astronaut and Mario as an astronaut. See the similarities?



Mario might not really be the strongest hero or the brightest, but he's got heart. Really that's all you need. Right?
...
...
Right? Yeah, whatever, Solid Snake is lame. All of your favorite video game characters are lame and that's a fact. Unless it's Mario. What? I'm a Christian! I have a license to be close minded! :P



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5 comments | showing # 1 to 5
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king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2008 22:15
king3vbo
Drogas
SalvaPot's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2008 22:53
SalvaPot
Yup, the similarities are irrefutable.
Excel-2011's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2008 23:08
Excel-2011
What's this? A Christian boy using a 4chan meme? Unacceptable!
taumpytears's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2008 23:48
taumpytears
If i was a dick i could say "what about God" but I'm not.
taumpytears's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2008 00:01
taumpytears
I was calling god a fictional, i.e., not real character lol sorry
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