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Listen to this as you read my profile

Chris (Magnalon) has been enjoying Destructoid avidly since 2008. He finally decided to take the next step, make an account, and start blogging in January of 2009. Now, he's staff!

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Twitter - @DtoidChris

I'm in my 20s, I'm married, and I've been playing games since I was 4. I still remember buying my own NES system at Sears and going home and playing Mario/Duck Hunt. Fast forward to the present, my wife and I now own a PS3, 360, Wii, and Wii U.

As far as contemporary systems go, I also own an iPhone 4 (which I game on very heavily - check out HookChamp), a 3DS XL, the Kinect, the PS Move, a PSP-2000, and a Playstation Vita. If I had to choose a system I had the "best times" with, it would be a two way tie between the Sega Dreamcast and Sony Playstation 2. My favorite game series is Mega Man Classic, but I own every Metal Gear, Devil May Cry, Zelda, Kingdom Hearts, Wario, Tony Hawk, main series Final Fantasy, and Resident Evil game ever released in the US (and a lot more), so it's a close call!

There are too many good games out to count now, but I'm always itching to play my backlog of old PS2 action titles. I'll play anything and everything action-adventure, so if you have a game in mind, drop me a line! I have strong opinions regarding the financial decisions of many publishers, but at the end of the day, I'm willing to give anything a chance; especially if it comes recommended by a community member.

Oh; and in 2012 I started contributing to Destructoid.

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Are you not satisfied?

Here is my story, from my humble beginnings as a c-blogger.

Here's an in-depth 10 things about me post that will enlighten you further.

Here's another in-depth 10 things about me post, when the community brought it back.

I was also interviewed.

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Carter's Quests (previously Magnalon's Quest):

2011 - Zelda
2012 - Resident Evil
2012 - Tony Hawk
2012 - Kingdom Hearts
2012 - Wario
2013 - Mega Man Classic
2013 - Devil May Cry
2013 - Mega Man X
2013 - God of War
2013 - Metroid

Future - Pokémon
Future - Splinter Cell
Future - Mega Man Spinoffs
Future - Elder Scrolls
Future - Mario
Future - Platinum Games
Future - Kirby
Future - Clover
Future - Castlevania
Future - Metal Gear
Future - Tenchu
Future - Ninja Gaiden
Future - Onimusha
Future - Ape Escape
Future - Disgaea
Future - Twisted Metal
Future - Deception
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Ranked

Fire Emblem

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Guides:

Street Fighter X Mega Man

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Bravely Default talk

[url=http://www.destructoid.com/opinion-titanfall-s-campaign-failed-to-draw-me-into-its-universe-271869.phtml]Titanfall campaign talk
[/url]

Memory Card


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Promoted (before I was staff):

Playing with Others: Phantasy Star Offline

Magnalon's quest to beat every Zelda in 2011

Tips for Securing Your Xbox Live Account

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My top 20 games (in no particular order):

Resident Evil 5
Fallout: New Vegas
Dragon Age: Origins
Dark Souls
Demon's Souls
Skies of Arcadia
Lunar 1 and 2
World of Warcraft: All Expansions
Super Mario Galaxy 2
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3
Tenchu 2
Devil May Cry 3
Phantasy Star Online
Ape Escape 1
Rockman and Forte (Megaman and Bass)
God Hand
Jet Set Radio Future
Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
Donkey Kong Country
Final Fantasy Tactics

Bonus:

Dark Souls II
Deception IV: Blood Ties
Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes
South Park: The Stick of Truth
Strider (2014)
Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy
The Wolf Among Us
Bravely Default
NES Remix
Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare
Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze
Super Mario 3D World
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon
Dead Rising 3
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Guacamelee
Pokemon X & Y
Super Mario 3D World
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Halo 4
Mutant Mudds
Far Cry 3
Assassin's Creed III
Retro City Rampage
Guild Wars 2
Bayonetta
Binding of Isaac
Kingdoms Of Amalur: Reckoning
Fez
Zone of the Enders 2
Xenoblade Chronicles
Kid Icarus: Uprising
Batman: Arkham City
Skylanders Giants
Kingdom Hearts II
Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance
Diablo
Diablo II
Diablo III
Amplitude
Dust: An Elysian Tail
Tomb Raider II
Metal Gear Solid 4
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
Bastion
Zombies At My Neighbors
Super Bomberman 2
Mass Effect
Mass Effect 2
Mass Effect 3
Spelunky
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2
Tony Hawk's Underground 2
Assassin's Creed II
Onimusha 3
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
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The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
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Demon's Crest
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Okami
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Rayman: Origins

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The following are a few of my favorite fictional characters, compliments of SuitcoatAvenger

-My favorite video game character of all time: Magic Emperor Ghaleon.

-Legato Bluesummers from Trigun: classic villain.

-Although obscure, Zero Beat is among my favorites.

-My original avatar.
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I made this a short while back, but I figured I'd share my thoughts on Resident Evil 5 with you guys for fun, considering it's near release. Enjoy!




Resident Evil 5 has had its fair share of controversy. In addition to Xbox gamers taking issue with its outdated control system, a small fraction gaming community also claims that it is racist. Thought to be racist long ago when it was first revealed that the location of the game was in Africa, angry mobs subsided for about a year with no apparent reason. Recently, Eurogamer has re-ignited the racism controversy in Resident Evil 5. Fear not readers, this is nothing new: Resident Evil has always been racist.



Resident Evil hates Hispanics



Every Hispanic “protagonist” found in the Resident Evil series dies a terrible death. Compound this is the fact that every enemy in Resident Evil 4 is Hispanic. When Leon Kennedy isn’t busy rescuing the American president’s daughter, he’s supporting America’s “hidden agenda”. The enemies, called “Ganados” (racist) hail from Spain, but they sound stereo-typically Mexican. Is this because Capcom didn’t understand the difference between the two nations, or is this the work of an even darker force? If this isn’t Bush-era propaganda, I don’t know what is.



Resident Evil hates animals




What did a wild pack of dogs say when Umbrella corp. injected them with a virus, turning them into rabid zombified versions of their previous selves? Dogs can’t talk: but if they could, they probably wouldn’t like it. These poor defenseless pooches were rounded up one day and turned into killing machines because Capcom felt like it. But Resident Evil doesn’t stop at dog murder; you also must euthanize crows, snakes, worms, and crocodiles. One area of Resident Evil 3 even requires a killing spree in a local Zoo. There hasn’t been this much human-on-dog violence since the un-aired Scooby-Doo episode. Even then, this is probably worse.



Resident Evil hates Religious folk



Practice religion around the protagonists of Resident Evil? You’ll probably end up being blown to bits by a Rocket Launcher. One entire level in Resident Evil 4 is in a monastery: apparently, religion in enclosed spaces makes you hostile. Religious folk also evidently love hording tons of gold and machine guns in their holy haven of death. Japan is a nation known for it’s agnosticism and all around God-less-ness: Coincidence?

Resident Evil? More like Resident Atheists.



Resident Evil hates Germans



Capcom goes out on a limb for this one. Not only is the sole German character in any Resident Evil a villain (didn’t see that one coming), but his name is also just as ridiculous: Krauser. If that name doesn’t invoke World War II-Era hatred, I don’t know what will. Krauser spends the entire game hunting the profilic hero with a knife and a bow. The Japanese are no stranger to making Germans named Krauser maniacally evil (see WolfGang Krauser). Oh; he’s also parasitic. Double entendre, Capcom?



Resident Evil poorly portrays Cyborgs (racist)



Yes, Resident Evil has a cyborg character. Did you know that? Apparently Wesker underwent some “changes” after the first game, and now has super-human abilities much like the Governator’s most popular film character. There aren’t many cyborgs walking the earth these days, and apparently one of the few that exists loves to beat women more than James Brown. Yep, you heard that right. In the above scene, Wesker proceeds to beat Claire into a pulp for no apparent reason. He’s also prone to double crossing, blackmail, and murderous rampages. Albert Wesker: Abusive Cyborg? Or just mis-represented?


Resident Evil hates Women



As mentioned above, most of the main villains in Resident Evil beat women. Many other famous stars have beaten women: James Brown, Ike Turner, and now, Resident Evil 3’s Nemesis. Nemesis stalks Jill Valentine at every turn, and slaps her every time he sees her. In fact, his mission is to kill all STARS Special Forces members, but in actualilty he seems to just like smacking around “the weaker sex”.


Resident Evil hates White People



Finally, Resident Evil hates white people. It was bad enough that the Caucasian Cachaemic Crew were the villains of not only Resident Evil 1, 2 and 3, but they were also recently seen in Resident Evil Zero. In fact, every Resident Evil game but two of them has white villains. Apparently, everyone who lives in a Mansion has to be White, and dress terribly (this is not only racist but economically insensitive).

So there you have it. Resident Evil: Survival Horror? Or Horribly Racist? You decide.


Due to kooky formatting; click the pics below for a better look at them. See you all online in Mercs ;I call Wesker!
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