Quantcast
Community Discussion: Blog by Chris Carter | I suck at games: D/o/t/A: Die/odible/tabanid/AssholeDestructoid
LIGHTS:  ON | OFF
surf dtoid with arrow keys

HOT GAMES
REVIEWS VIDEOS COMMUNITY FORUM SHOP

pc PS4 PS3 NEXT XBOX XBOX 360 WII U 3DS PS vita ANDROID APPLE

REMOVE ALL ADS?
Guaranteed contest entry?
A new video show?
Something else?

Vote in our membership poll


Meet the destructoid Team >>   Chris Carter
Chris Carter's blog
★ destructoid | Associate Editor ★
click to hide banner header
About


Listen to this as you read my profile

Chris (Magnalon) has been enjoying Destructoid avidly since 2008. He finally decided to take the next step, make an account, and start blogging in January of 2009. Now, he's staff!

-------------------

Twitter - @DtoidChris

I'm in my 20s, I'm married, and I've been playing games since I was 4. I still remember buying my own NES system at Sears and going home and playing Mario/Duck Hunt. Fast forward to the present, my wife and I now own a PS3, 360, Wii, and Wii U.

As far as contemporary systems go, I also own an iPhone 4 (which I game on very heavily - check out HookChamp), a 3DS XL, the Kinect, the PS Move, a PSP-2000, and a Playstation Vita. If I had to choose a system I had the "best times" with, it would be a two way tie between the Sega Dreamcast and Sony Playstation 2. My favorite game series is Mega Man Classic, but I own every Metal Gear, Devil May Cry, Zelda, Kingdom Hearts, Wario, Tony Hawk, main series Final Fantasy, and Resident Evil game ever released in the US (and a lot more), so it's a close call!

There are too many good games out to count now, but I'm always itching to play my backlog of old PS2 action titles. I'll play anything and everything action-adventure, so if you have a game in mind, drop me a line! I have strong opinions regarding the financial decisions of many publishers, but at the end of the day, I'm willing to give anything a chance; especially if it comes recommended by a community member.

Oh; and in 2012 I started contributing to Destructoid.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Are you not satisfied?

Here is my story, from my humble beginnings as a c-blogger.

Here's an in-depth 10 things about me post that will enlighten you further.

Here's another in-depth 10 things about me post, when the community brought it back.

I was also interviewed.

-----------------------------------------------------------
Carter's Quests (previously Magnalon's Quest):

2011 - Zelda
2012 - Resident Evil
2012 - Tony Hawk
2012 - Kingdom Hearts
2012 - Wario
2013 - Mega Man Classic
2013 - Devil May Cry
2013 - Mega Man X
2013 - God of War
2013 - Metroid
2013 - Mega Man Spinoffs
2013 - Splinter Cell
2013 - The Elder Scrolls

Future - Mario
Future - Pokémon
Future - Platinum Games
Future - Kirby
Future - Clover
Future - Castlevania
Future - Metal Gear
Future - Tenchu
Future - Ninja Gaiden
Future - Onimusha
Future - Ape Escape
Future - Disgaea
Future - Twisted Metal
-----------------------------------------------------------

Destructoid Reviews:

Street Fighter x Tekken

Babel Rising

Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor

Tekken Tag Tournament 2

Guild Wars 2

Realms of Ancient War

New Super Mario Bros. 2 DLC

Dance Central 3

New Little King's Story

Skylanders Giants

Dokuro

Punch Quest

Orgarhythm

New Super Mario Bros. 2 DLC #2

Razer Kraken Pro Headset

Need for Speed: Most Wanted mobile

Assassin's Creed III: Liberation

WWE '13

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Splitz

PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale

Mighty Switch Force! Hyper Drive Edition

Tekken Tag Tournament 2: Wii U Edition

New Super Mario Bros. 2 DLC #3

Uncharted: Fight for Fortune

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater HD DLC

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim: Dragonborn

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (iOS)

Skylanders: Battlegrounds

Black Knight Sword

Crimson Shroud

New Super Mario Bros. 2 DLC #4

Anarchy Reigns

Joe Danger Touch

Might & Magic Clash of Heroes (iOS)

Fire Emblem: Awakening

Skulls of the Shogun

The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Historia

Puddle (Wii U)

Call of Duty: Black Ops II: Revolution

Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed (PC)

Omerta: City of Gangsters

Dungeonland

Razer Orbweaver Gaming Keypad

PlayStation All-Stars DLC

Bentley's Hack Pack

Urban Trial Freestyle

Assassin's Creed III: King Washington DLC: The Infamy

Halo 4: Majestic Map Pack

Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 Plus

Dollar Dash

DmC: Devil May Cry: Vergil's Downfall

Kersploosh!

ATV Wild Ride 3D

Darkstalkers Resurrection

Assassin's Creed III: King Washington DLC: The Infamy

Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity

Ms. Splosion Man (iOS)

BattleBlock Theater

Toki Tori 2

Slayin' (iOS)

Halo 4: Castle Map Pack

Metal Gear Rising Revengeance: Jetstream

Tekken Card Tournament

Sonic Dash

Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner: Soul Hackers

Call of Duty: Black Ops II: Uprising DLC

Injustice: Gods Among Us (iOS)

Fish Out of Water

Logitech G700s Rechargeable Gaming Mouse

LEGO City Undercover: The Chase Begins

Assassin's Creed III: King Washington DLC: The Redemption

Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus R

Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen

Witch and Hero

Haunted Hollow

Way of the Dogg

Jack Lumber

Star Command

Color Commando

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance: Blade Wolf
DLC

Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D

Plants vs. Zombies Adventures
-----------------------------------------------------------

Ranked

Fire Emblem

Clover Studios and Platinum Games

Castlevania

-----------------------------------------------------------

Guides:

Street Fighter X Mega Man

Anarchy Reigns

Fire Emblem: Awakening

Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

God of War: Ascension

Soul Sacrifice

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Dragon's Dogma

Star Command

A guide to playing more games

Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D

-----------------------------------------------------------

Promoted (before I was staff):

Playing with Others: Phantasy Star Offline

Magnalon's quest to beat every Zelda in 2011

Tips for Securing Your Xbox Live Account

-----------------------------------------------------------

My top 20 games (in no particular order):

Resident Evil 5
Fallout: New Vegas
Dragon Age: Origins
Dark Souls
Demon's Souls
Skies of Arcadia
Lunar 1 and 2
World of Warcraft: All Expansions
Super Mario Galaxy 2
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3
Tenchu 2
Devil May Cry 3
Phantasy Star Online
Ape Escape 1
Rockman and Forte (Megaman and Bass)
God Hand
Jet Set Radio Future
Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
Donkey Kong Country
Final Fantasy Tactics

Bonus:

Gravity Rush
Dragon's Dogma
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon
Pandora's Tower
Persona 4 Golden
Bioshock Infinite
Pokémon Silver
Tomb Raider (2013)
Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon
Brave Fencer Musashi
Shenmue II
Dark Cloud
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
Ikaruga
Asura's Wrath
Halo 4
Mutant Mudds
Far Cry 3
Assassin's Creed III
Retro City Rampage
Guild Wars 2
Bayonetta
Binding of Isaac
Kingdoms Of Amalur: Reckoning
Fez
Zone of the Enders 2
Xenoblade Chronicles
Kid Icarus: Uprising
Batman: Arkham City
Skylanders Giants
Kingdom Hearts II
Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance
Diablo
Diablo II
Diablo III
Amplitude
Dust: An Elysian Tail
Tomb Raider II
Metal Gear Solid 4
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
Bastion
Zombies At My Neighbors
Super Bomberman 2
Mass Effect
Mass Effect 2
Mass Effect 3
Spelunky
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2
Tony Hawk's Underground 2
Assassin's Creed II
Onimusha 3
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Ninja Gaiden Black (Xbox)
Power Stone 2
No More Heroes 2
Ultima Online
Aladdin SNES
Super Punch-Out!!
Demon's Crest
Disgaea
Secret of Mana
Sparkster
Borderlands 2
Final Fantasy IV
Final Fantasy X
Super Mario RPG
Super Mario 64
Super Mario World
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
Super Mario Galaxy
Super Mario 3D Land
Mega Man 8
Okami
The Lost Vikings
Actraiser
Bujingai: The Forsaken City
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Odin Sphere
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy Kong's Quest
Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence
Call of Duty: World at War
Chrono Trigger
Call of Duty: Black Ops
Jeanne d'Arc
Half Minute Hero
Kirby Super Star
Super Meat Boy
Jamestown: Legend of the Lost Colony
L.A. Noire
VVVVVV
Outland (XBLA/PSN)
Shantae: Risky's Revenge
Mighty Flip Champs
Child of Eden
Kirby's Dream Course
Shadows of the Damned
Knights of the Old Republic (KOTOR)
Rayman: Origins

-----------------------------------------------------------

The following are a few of my favorite fictional characters, compliments of SuitcoatAvenger

-My favorite video game character of all time: Magic Emperor Ghaleon.

-Legato Bluesummers from Trigun: classic villain.

-Although obscure, Zero Beat is among my favorites.

-My original avatar.
Player Profile
Follow me:
Twitter:@DtoidChris
Google+:Link
Chris Carter's sites
Badges
Following (182)  



[All of the above quotes were actually said to me at one point in time whilst attempting to learn DotA]

Defense of the Ancients has become a national pastime for gamers: and all of it spawned out of a simple modification for Warcraft III. Taking the focus off waging war as the commander of an army, you are placed within the role of a single entity: a summoner. The common misconception is that since you only have to control one unit, it would be much easier than micromanaging platoons. This fallacy nearly cost me my self esteem, folks.

Since it's initial explosion, "DotA" has evolved into an incredibly popular niche game, and garnered a community of thousands: from strategy enthusiasts to general gamers. However, after just two days of experience with DotA, I concluded that it did not actually stand for "Defense of the Ancients", but instead:

DotA: Die, odible, tabanid asshole!

Def: odible
"worthy of hatred" [due to the player's ineptitude]

Def:tabanid
"blood-sucking insect" [the player is sucking his team dry of resources]



In DotA, a new player can effectively change the tide of an entire match. By "feeding" the other team with the glorious rewards of free experience points and riches upon death: all it takes is one "noob" to bring an hour long standstill of a game to a screeching halt. Then, the insults fly...hard. But before any of this happens, many gamers have engaged in a predictable step by step pattern after becoming intrigued by the notion of a "simpler" strategy game.

From cordial prospect to prospective cord hanging:

1) Hearing about DotA everyday all day, they inquire as to what it is, and instantly are engaged by the prospect of team play.

2) They log in to their first DotA game, aptly labeled "noobs only" [sounds inviting, yes?], and assume that it actually is a "new players only" game.

3) The player is shunned and ridiculed after his first death: his sexuality brought into question, and the moral dilemma of whether or not his parents should have had an abortion is put on the table. The player is a jaded shell of his former self, and vows never to play DotA ever again.

At least, these are my experiences. But, with a little help from my friends, I found out there is still hope for the soon-to-be suicide watch gamer.

Either:

Find other people to enjoy the game with, and play private matches, until they inevitably rise above your skill level

or

Stop playing DotA, and go back to Warcraft III (noob)

Ok, so those really aren't options. As you can clearly see, the situation looked pretty bleak, until only recently. The newly developed League of Legends has attempted to break down the barriers of entry with a simplistic "tips" system for individual characters, and custom tailored items for each player to choose from.

However, underneath it's welcoming exterior is a massive superhighway of rune combinations, skill trees, and advanced tactics that will absolutely fly right over the head of casual gamers.

While I am improving, unless I dedicate three lifetimes to the genre, I have no hope of actually becoming a deciding factor in any battle, and will be forced to play with more forgiving close friends for the rest of my dying days. Considering I'm adept in just about every other genre, my inability to actually become a better player is a perplexing dilemma.

So, fellow DotA bloodsuckers everywhere: unite! Someday, we will be a forced to be reckoned with after our years of hiding beneath the Earth's crust in our private games, and then: "they" will feed us.
Photo Photo



Is this blog awesome? Vote it up!




Those who have come:



Did you know? You can now get daily or weekly email notifications when humans reply to your comments.

Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)


Add me in LoL and/or HoN, i'm "Knivy" in both of them (and steam..and live...and other things :P), me and a couple of friends have been playing a match or two daily, we're still not amazing, but at least we're rarely the "feeders" of the other team anymore, unless of course we're trying new characters.
Great blog Chris. As you know, I have recently discovered the ridicule a new DotA player can receive when trying to learn the game for the first time. At first I absolutely hated it because of this, but after playing with friends I have found a new love for the game.

It's very unfortunate though that until I get better the only way I can play is with friends. I might have to give League of Legends a try though, to see if it's really as friendly as you say. Until then, I look forward to trying to kick your ass in more DotA style games. ;-)
This is online play in general. People will do almost nothing but throw insults in most of my experiences with online play. It's why I don't even bother. When I get my PS3 I'm probably playing with D-Toiders, personal friends, and that's. fucking. it.
It's hilarious how seriously they take things even in a noobs only room. This is the main reason why I rarely play any form of multi-player, unless it's with a group of friends. I just get more enjoyment out of not having to deal with that crap.

It's a shame that people are being drawn in to the promise of an easier/friendlier experience only to be met with that ass-hattery.

On the other hand, it meant we got a shiny new post from you!
You know, it's weird how so few "noob rooms" are actually noob friendly. I've noticed this a lot in online FPS games, especially some of the older ones that didn't have matchmaking. Really turns you off.

Also, it's nice to finally know what DotA is. Haha, I kept seeing that pop up occasionally and never did figure out what it was.
People.Are.Assholes.
Hahaha! If you need some help mate, I'm on USWest under "Funktastic" and then I'm on League of Legends as well, under "Funktastic" too. I've been playing DotA (un)fortunately since it first came out on Reign of Chaos, and when it was still "good" and being made by Eul. I already thought Guinsoo made it somewhat difficult for new players to get into the game with his patches, but IceFrog has just fucked things up beyond measure.

Just a general hint for you, and anyone else who is just starting up and all. DotA is a game about SURVIVING . . . NOT killing. The goal is to live longer/simply just not die, as opposed to killing, which is a secondary goal that comes out of not dying. Also, just find a lot of "generic" items that work for all characters and all that may not necessarily be the "best" for your character, but will assist you regardless. Things like Power Treads, Lothar's (to escape), things like that. Or just find your hero's best stat item, like Butterfly for agility, Satanic/Heart for Strength, and then Scepter for intel.

League of Legends seems okay from what I've played it so far. There's a number of niches and such, but the "suggested" items thing is very helpful, but I hate their shop menu. You may also want to try Heroes of Newark, which literally is like DotA, but with better graphics. Also add "sylphx" as well, as he's my fellow buddy and Dtoider that I play DotA with.
Yah. When I started playing 3 years ago I sucked hard. It becomes a lot more welcoming when you have a group of friends to play with until you become competent enough or have tough enough skin to play by yourself. Once you actually become good though, it becomes really fun.

I also have some League of Legends beta invites, if anyone wants one PM me your email address and I can send you one.
HoN username: Rockvillian

Only reason I keep playing is cause I know 2 people who help me learn how to play: Knives and my friend HumanError. Otherwise I'm "more than a noob, and should stop playing and die".
A DOTA post! I'm a huge DOTA fan, but I agree the community is one of the worst in all of gaming, possibly worse then Xbox Live. The learning curve is downright relentless (my friend and I are pretty amazing at the game, and we often take our newly initiated friends "under our wings" and help them...and usually the other team spouts horrible insults at them the entire time for not memorizing recipes or knowing what everybody's moves are).
Still, once you get good the game actually is insanely fun. But still clouded by douchebags. You could be winning 14-0 and if you make one stupid mistake everybody will be all over your ass.
If you ever want to play, my Bnet name is Elihu, my friend's is Mediocrates. We'll be sure and put you on our team...and we don't mind feeders, they just make it more challenging. :)
Oh, also, we are US West all the way. That is kinda important. :P
Playing with people you know FTW. Heck, the few times me and my old roommates teamed up for vanilla Warcraft 3, we got stomped and ridiculed. Not good times if you're playing for fun. At least it wasn't voice chat was it?

Back to Top
DLC   |   BEST Games of 2012   |   Best PC Games   |   Best PS3 Games   |   Best Xbox 360 Games   |   Best Wii U Games   |   Best 3DS Games




All content is yours to recycle through our Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing requiring attribution. Our communities are obsessed with videoGames, movies, anime, and toys.

Living the dream since March 16, 2006

Advertising on destructoid is available: Please contact them to learn more