Today I realized the main draw of Apple's ipod touch: I can check my email while delivering a KO to the bottom of my toilet in the form of a pounding corn-crap. What's a corn-crap? It's the kind of crap that's filled with yellow specks and synonymous with a distinctive shade of mustard brown. It's usually taken the day after ingesting a few healthy cobs of corn. Maybe two days after if your ass doesn't like you.

Anyways, it's great. Web-browsing on the ipod touch is great, that is. Definitely not the thing that closely resembles these delicious Italian-roasted chicken breasts. The load times are a bit slow on some of the more flash-intensive sites out there, but I was able to load Destructoid and Facebook without too much trouble. In fact, Facebook even has a browser optimized for the pint-sized screen and itsy-bitsy processor of the ipod touch. It's stripped down in a number of ways (ie. can't view all tagged pictures of friends, only the first twenty or so) but gets the job done in terms of the basic features.

The revelation that my ipod touch provides viable entertainment while on the can soon dripped into my thoughts on the battle between print and online media. You know, that tired argument that never fails to resurface again and again. While I was able to explore the web via ipod touch with relative efficiency from within the walls of my yellow-tinted (it's painted yellow, not sprinkled in pee, you animal) bathroom, the experience was still far from optimal. The point being...



...the point being, print media is still valuable for its highly accessible portability in just the way that an ipod touch or zune is. Even more so because firstly, not everyone owns a portable device capable of web-browsing. Secondly, the majority of these devices only have functional internet while in range of a wireless access point (not all of us can afford an iphone plan). And thirdly, struggling to weave past internet filters at work in an attempt to read game-related news or watch porn over lunch break simply isn't easy.

The idea here is that you're not going to haul your computer to the bathroom and set it up so that you can browse the internet for the two minutes it takes to squeeze out last night's potato salad. Nor does everyone have a portable means of browsing the web to supplant the aforementioned (and ridiculous) notion. If they do, it's not 100% reliable anyways. Have fun trying to harness precious wifi access while on the bus or while waiting for Gojira to bite the lines running from your Japanese fishing boat in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Not to mention the perpetual string of disappointments that accompany your attempts to tap into wireless internet access that isn't password-protected or pay-by-the-minute while sipping a mug of oddly addictive coffee in downtown's Tim Hortons.

Honestly, what if you work at Backwater Reservoir? It's doubtful that you'll be able to read Destructoid over lunch break all the way out there. On second thought, you're either a mad scientist or a research specimen chained to a wall in their secret underground pig-cloning plant, so the logic of this article probably doesn't apply to you. Seriously though, until we all have have high-definition monitors mounted to our bathroom vanities and holographic images of the blogosphere orbiting our heads, print media will remain viable reading material for its take-anywhere, read-anywhere accessibility. On the can or out and about.