I believe that here at Destructoid we would mint the typical daisy-picking sing-a-long advertisement a fail. By all means, a gigantic fail. But what do you call a commercial so sickeningly cutesy that it could leap out of the screen and wink a rainbow at you, instantaneously decreasing the circumference of your testicles? Well, first let's try to endure the blurb itself:



Okay, so you've beheld the seventh dimension of cute and we can now conclude that it's "fruity", it's "ghey", and it's a number of other terms that aren't politically or socially correct. We can't shovel it off as cleverly concealed eroticism since that would be crude thing to do, so let's find another excuse for its existence...

Never mind, I've unearthed evidence that condemns this commercial to a lifetime sentence for unbridled flamboyance: "Everyone loves a sunshine-y day! We're gonna keep it that way!" I want to punch that guy directly in the nads, as any aggravated individual who's spent the past three hours twitching and killing things in Gears of War should. Come to think of it, everyone who partook in the development of this ad deserves a randomly assigned burst of groin pain.

Perhaps this lame marketing scheme was one of the reasons Sunshine didn't quite live up to the commercial success of Super Mario 64 (though Nintendo still pushed approximately 5.5 million copies to consumers; an impressive feat on the Gamecube). I honestly don't see what demographic this ad might appeal to. Butterflies, maybe?

As far as the game itself is concerned, I thought that Super Mario Sunshine was excellent even though it failed to live up to its legendary predecessor. Then again, Galaxy also fell short of that benchmark in my eyes. Regardless, mark my words: this commercial is the product of people who have either been sexually harassed to an extensive degree and seek escape or people bred purely on Franklin story books and the belief that they were brought into this world by storks wearing adorable Postman Pat hats.