Turn ons: Cursing, music from the '90s, sleeping
Turn offs: "Games as art," 4chan culture, wet socks
Favorite gaming genres: Beat-'em-ups, 2D fighters, turn-based/real time strategy games
Winners: Don't use drugs
America: Fuck yeah!
Playing right now: Whatever, nobody reads this.
"This ain't a god damned field trip, people. This is a fuckin' war!!"
-Captain Rhodes, Day of the Dead. One of the most badass characters ever put to film.
My personal Hall of Fame: Mega Man II, III, 9, and 10 (NES/XBLA)
Streets of Rage 2 (Genesis)
Contra + Super C (NES)
The Legend of Zelda + Link to the Past (NES/SNES)
Final Fantasy VI (SNES)
RBI Baseball (NES)
StarCraft I + II (PC)
Castle Crashers (XBLA)
Mass Effect Trilogy (360)
Super Street Fighter IV AE (360)
King of Fighters XIII (360)
XCOM: Enemy Unknown (360)
After seeing DaedHead8's recent contest, I was inspired to give back to my Destructoid brethren. So if he wouldn't mind, I'm borrowing his idea and spreading some community love in time for the holidays. In other words, I'm giving away one FREE COPY OF BRAID FOR THE PC to you fools. Well, to one of you, at least.
How do you win your very own copy of this beloved indie darling and favorite of scarf-wearers everywhere? Find me the most ridiculously overblown, absurd argument for "games as art" that is available on the internet and share it here.
(I dunno, man. I shit you not, I searched for "Fancy Pants" and this is what came up. Don't blame me, folks. Blame Google.)
Check out GameFAQs for a justification of Chex Quest's place in the pantheon of artistic expression. Read a random message board and uncover a long-winded love letter to Bubsy. Unearth the crazed ramblings of a devoted Karnov fan. Make something up.
Your task is to showcase the ridiculous nature of the "games as art" debate and make me laugh, and the best man or woman will win.
Deadline: 11:59pm EST, 12/24/09. Whenever I wake up Christmas morning/afternoon, I'll gift the game to the winner of my choosing through Steam.
Note: You must leave your Steam ID somewhere in the comment section below, or you're disqualified. If you don't use Steam, then fuck off. Kidding. But seriously, Steam users only.
(Full Disclosure: Braid is on sale at Steam for $2.49. Cash rules everything around me, C.R.E.A.M. Get the money. Dollar, dollar bill, ya'll.)