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Don't ask, don't tell
Chad Concelmo | 11:06 AM on 03.07.2009 66 comments




I can’t tell you how I got this, but it involved a tuna fish sandwich, four paraplegic prostitutes, the soundtrack to The Little Mermaid, David Faustino, a shirtless Chinese boy, and a handful of bruised old ladies.

It was all worth it, though. This game is freakin’ amazing.

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Swimming with dolphins: A journey in pictures
Chad Concelmo | 12:30 PM on 02.23.2009 128 comments


First off, I have to thank the Destructoid community for everything you are about to read. Without you guys this never would have happened, so … thank you from the bottom of my heart. <3

As some of you may know, I got to fulfill a lifelong dream of mine this past Saturday: swimming with dolphins.

A few months back a large handful of Destructoid community members chipped it to buy me a birthday present in the form of an Interactive Dolphin Program at Sea World in San Diego.

It was the greatest experience of my entire life.

But let’s start at the beginning.

Honestly, everything from the minute I woke up until I arrived at Sea World was a giant OMG blur. It goes without saying that I was in an extremely happy mood.

But don’t take my word for it. Let these pictures speak for themselves:


OMG I GET TO SWIM WITH DOLPHINS TODAY!


OMG SHOWER!


OMG GETTING DRESSED!


OMG CEREAL!


OMG WALKING MY DOG LUNA!


OMG BRUSHING MY TEETH!


OMG DRIVING TO SAN DIEGO!


OMG MORE DRIVING!


OMG SOME MORE DRIVING!


Boo, traffic.


OMG THE TRAFFIC IS GONE!


OMG GAS!


OMG I’M ALMOST THERE!


OMG I PARKED IN LOT E3!


OMG THE ENTRANCE TO SEA WORLD!


OMG I AM ONLY A FEW STEPS AWAY!

And then I arrived.

The Dolphin Interactive Program.



Once I checked in I was placed in a group with five other people (more on something amazing relating to this later) and brought into a classroom.



Here, we learned a little about dolphins, including what they eat (rainbows!), where they live (an undersea kingdom!), and who is destined to be their king (me!). Seriously, though, the classroom portion was basically just a refresher course on what not to do when handling a dolphin: poke it in its eye, stick your hand in its mouth, or cover its blowhole. Thankfully, I was not planning on doing any of those three things.

Once the class was over, our group was led into a locker room, where I promptly changed into my wetsuit.

I wanted to run right into the GIANT TANK FULL OF DOLPHINS that was only a few feet away, but, sadly, I had to wait for the entire group to get ready.

Okay, now what I am about to tell you is super embarrassing. But we are all family and you would never laugh at me for this, right? Right?

As we walked to the ladder to descend into the GIANT TANK FULL OF DOLPHINS I actually stopped myself because I started feeling a little strange. The rest of the group was lowering themselves into the freezing cold water and I was just standing there like an idiot.

All of a sudden I realized what was happening: I was bawling like a four-year-old girl.

Oh, yeah. No joke. I was so emotional about getting in the water with the creatures I have been obsessed with since I was a little kid that I just lost it.

The trainer (Kelly) asked me if I was okay and I think I made up some lame excuse that something was stuck in my eye. But instead of saying that, it came out of my mouth sounding something like this: “Zi’m pine. I zust fink I *sniff* has zomethink *sniff* stick un my eyebz.”

Ugh.

Once I pulled myself together I threw caution to the wind and just hopped right into the water (screw you, ladder!). I saw the trainer do that as well and wanted to do anything I could to be like her.



The entire session lasted for about an hour, but I swear it is hard to remember the details. I was in such a haze of happiness that I could barely focus on anything.

As a group, we got to swim with the dolphins (a mother and daughter pair that were the cutest things I have ever seen), get pushed around the tank by the dolphins, feed the dolphins, train the dolphins, and pet the dolphins. I, naturally, reached out and tried to pet the amazingly smart creatures every time they passed by us -- all this to the chagrin of the trainer (sorry, Kelly!).

Sadly, I could not bring my camera with me so I was at the mercy of some of the Sea World employees to grab a few shots as I was in the tank. While I would have loved to have more shots of me swimming in the water with the dolphins, the employees did a great job of getting some pretty memorable pictures.

I won’t bore you will all of them, but here are a few of my favorites:


Um, yeah ... that's me and a dolphin.


















The dolphin is making the Chad face. My God, could this day have been any more amazing?!

And now for some of the highlights (well, the ones I remember/were conscious for):

-I got to train the mother and daughter dolphins on my own once. Using a simple hand motion, I instructed them to swim to the other end of the tank and return to me “walking” on the water with their tails. Yup, doing that made me cry again. :/

-Every time you kissed the mother dolphin on the head it would make this ridiculously cute sound -- kind of like a baby laughing. It was amazing.

-One of the guys in my group contacted the Sea World people beforehand and had them put a note in a giant plastic bottle that the dolphins use for a toy. During the training, the dolphin brought the bottle to this guy’s girlfriend. She opened the bottle and read the note. THE NOTE ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM! There was even a ring attached! You better believe I cried after this happened! Note to whoever is going to propose to me someday: this is how it needs to happen.

I obviously don’t need to say that Saturday was the best day of my entire life. I truly feel like my life changed after the experience of swimming with the dolphins. Call me overdramatic, I don’t care. You can call me anything you want! I got to swim with dolphins and I am so freakin’ happy!

Thanks again to the people that made this happen. There aren’t enough smiley face emoticons to express my eternal gratitude. :)

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February 21st will be the greatest day of my life
Chad Concelmo | 1:13 PM on 02.11.2009 57 comments




Back in September, a group of Destructoid community members (a.k.a. the greatest human beings that have ever lived) pooled their hard-earned money to buy me a present. That present turned out to be a dolphin interaction program at Sea World. Basically, I was given the opportunity to study and swim with a bunch of dolphins for a few hours.

It goes without saying that I was eternally grateful for the incredibly nice gift (if I ever have forty children, they will all be named after you guys).

Unfortunately, due to a combination of a ridiculously busy schedule and the end of the dolphin swimming season, I never had a chance to redeem the amazing gift last year.

Well ... the new season is just starting ... and I just reserved a spot to -- man, I can’t believe I am actually typing this -- swim with dolphins.

So, it’s official: On February 21, 2009 I will finally get to experience something I have wanted to do my entire life.

I know this sounds so dramatic, but for people that know me this is obviously a huge deal. Like, I-may-die-of-a-heart-attack-once-I-get-to-touch-one-of-these majestic-beasts huge.

I will try to take as many pictures as possible once I make the drive down to San Diego in (OMG!) less than two weeks.

Thanks again to the people that contributed to the gift. I am so excited I don’t think I can even type anymore.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D


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Puppy Bowl recap!
Chad Concelmo | 2:26 PM on 02.02.2009 47 comments




I am happy to report that last night’s Puppy Bowl V was the best Puppy Bowl of all time.

I was a little nervous on Saturday when I set my TiVO to record the show and noticed that is was only 2 hours rather than the traditional 4 (to mirror the length of the simultaneous airing of the Super Bowl).

But, honestly, the shorter runtime actually helped the show.







Things started off nicely with the classic Tail Gate party -- a group of dogs hanging out on lawn chairs and watching the Puppy Bowl on T.V.



After that, for the first time ever, a bird named Pepper the Parrot came out and “sang” the National Anthem. This was a little odd since the bird wasn’t really singing and just more or less opening its mouth in front of a prop microphone. The song that was playing did sound like a parrot singing, so who knows? Maybe Pepper just got stage fright and they had to use a taped track. Regardless, it was amazing.





The big event itself was, of course, the most incredible (and incredibly cute) thing ever. The puppies were adorable and it seemed like the writers had an extra fun time with the proceedings.

Here are some highlights:

-Since this was the Puppy Bowl’s 5th anniversary, multiple “Hall of Fame Moments” were shown throughout the event. They mostly focused on past MVPs (most valuable puppies) and great plays from the past. I loved how they were shown in muted color and mostly slow motion. It was a great addition and I loved each and every one.



-During the first half one puppy started biting the goal post and wouldn’t stop. It was amazing.



-The world-famous Kitty Half-Time show was, of course, awesome. I was a little disappointed with it last year, if only for the strange choice in music (it was something akin to easy listening). This year, though, the sassy techno-y music was back. As was the pink stage and colorful lights.









To make this Kitty Half-Time show even better, confetti fell down halfway through and most of the kittens freaked out. God, it was so funny.

-The referee (same guy they use every year) was, again, great. His delivery of each foul call was extra over-the-top, which was perfect. Honestly, though, that guy has my dream job and I hope the stars are aligned and I get to take his gig next year. Let’s hope my (multiple) letters to Animal Planet actually get read this year.



-Speaking of the referee, he made quite the scandalous call in the second half of the game. One of my favorite puppies Griffey (SO CUTE!) was wrestling with another puppy. When it got a little too rambunctious the ref gave Griffey an “Unnecessary Roughness” foul call. I was fine with that, but then seconds later the ref called the same foul and actually kicked him out of the game!



If I was there I would have been one of those fans that yelled and threw things at the referee. Griffey was being rough, but he shouldn’t have been kicked out of the game.



-WATER BOWL CAM WAS BACK!



-In one of the most inspired, hilarious segments I have ever seen, near the end of the Puppy Bowl a “streaker” ran out and interrupted the game. The “streaker” was one of those crazy, shaved, skinny dogs with only some small tufts of fur on its head and tail. The producers of the show actually added a black bar near the “private region” of the streaker as he ran around the field causing mischief.



Before all the puppies got too riled up, the ref ran out, wrapped the nude offender in a t-shirt, and escorted him out of the stadium. It was so amazing.



-The MVP of the game was Madeline the Beagle.



Now, Madeline was cute, but I voted for the incredible Eli. Not only was Eli super cute, he seemed to perform the best in all the various plays. He also scored a few touchdowns!

Here are a few pics of Eli and his brother Moose:











While I was happy for Madeline, I felt Eli was robbed!

-By far the cutest thing of the entire show was anything involving puppy Schroeder. I really don’t think I can describe how jaw-droppingly cute Schroeder was.

Basically, Schroeder slept through everything.

I’m not kidding.

While all the puppies were playing with toys, Schroeder was sleeping. While the pups were tackling each other and wrestling, Schroeder was sleeping.

Here are a bunch of pictures of Schroeder at different points during the event:









It really was the cutest thing of all time.

All in all, the Puppy Bowl V delivered. It was the most entertaining, enjoyable, cutest Puppy Bowl yet. I am a little disappointed Eli or Schroeder didn’t take the MVP crown, but I was still happy with all the results.

I already can’t wait for Puppy Bowl VI.

BEST TELEVISON SHOW EVER! :D

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IT'S PUPPY BOWL WEEKEND!
Chad Concelmo | 11:55 AM on 01.30.2009 38 comments




It’s finally here: the best weekend of the year. This Sunday, during the (stupid) Super Bowl, is the 5th annual Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet!

Some of you may not know this, but I have a lifelong goal to have the Puppy Bowl get higher ratings than the actual Super Bowl. It’s a lofty goal, sure, but I will be able to die happy once it happens. Help me reach my dream by watching the BEST SHOW ON TELEVISION this weekend!

Like I said, it’s on during the Super Bowl on Animal Planet. You can click here to get all the details.

God, I am so excited about this year’s event. Not only is the Kitten Half-Time Show making a grand return, this weekend’s Puppy Bowl V marks the premiere of Pepper the Parrot singing the National Anthem.

For anyone that hasn’t seen the Puppy Bowl (for shame!), it really is the greatest thing of all time. You kind of have to see it to appreciate its splendor, but let me just give you a few bullet points of what to expect:

-Water Bowl Cam – The producers put a camera in the water bowl to get shots of cute puppies drinking water when they’re not on the field.

-Kitten Half-Time Show – As mentioned earlier, during half-time a huge pink stage rolls out -- as well as a disco ball and accompanying techno music -- with a ton of kittens playing with toys. Amazing.

-Puppy Bowl Referee (a.k.a. my dream job) – Not only does he wear an official outfit, the Puppy Bowl referee makes real foul calls as the game commences. Examples: “Rough housing!” when the pups get a little rambunctious and “Number Two on the field!” for when ... well, that is pretty self-explanatory.

I have a feeling this is going to be the best year yet.

Things could change, but here are my early picks for MVP (most valuable puppy) of the starting lineup:

Charlie Brown



Charlie Brown is a 9-week-old Doberman mix. His one blue and one brown eye might be the cutest thing I have ever seen.

Eli



Um, seriously. Look at Eli. Amazing.

Griffey



Griffey is a 10-week-old Labrador Retriever mix and reminds me a lot of my dog Luna. OMG TOO MUCH CUTE!

Mac



Mac looks really scrappy and I think that could take him far in the competition.

What do you think? Are you unbelievably excited about this like I am? If not, what is it like not having a heart? Which pup in the starting lineup is your favorite?

Check my community blog on Monday for a recap of some of my favorite moments. Nope, I'm not kidding. :)

Oh, and next year I am determined to be hired as the referee.

OH MY GOD I CAN’T WAIT FOR THIS!

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I am sorry about my comment on the podcast
Chad Concelmo | 1:39 PM on 01.25.2009 91 comments




On Thursday’s RetroforceGO! we were talking about something … honestly I can’t even remember what the conversation was specifically about. All I know is it had something to do with heaven.

After this was brought up I made a joke about coming out of the closet and not going to heaven.

Oh God, if you only knew the hate mail I received because of it.

I am going to say something about this before next week’s show, but I am so horribly upset by all this that I really felt the need to make a post explaining everything.

I was trying (however unsuccessfully) to make a joke about how there are a million stupid, highly ignorant people out there that actually believe this – that if you are gay you won’t go to “heaven.” It was a stupid joke (stupidest joke I have made), but that’s what it was: a joke. Actually, it wouldn’t even call it a “joke.” I am so far from thinking something hateful like this could be true (and assume most of you are as well) that I said it just because it sounded so ridiculous.

In no way did I mean any harm by it, especially something like this that means so much to me.

I hope most of you knew that.

If not (which I totally understand after listening back), I apologize more than I ever have in my life. I never meant to say something so asinine and idiotic. Bad jokes really can be terrible sometimes.

Please accept my apologies for my awful sense at humor. Ugh. And I am not writing this (super serious) blog because someone asked me to. I truly felt horrible after receiving these e-mails from people that I just felt the need to say something.

I need to go punch myself in the face now.

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

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NEWER »

« OLDER


 about me

Destructoid is the greatest community ever.
Also, dolphins! :)

What I'm playing (11/22/09 - 11/28/09):
New Super Mario Bros. Wii
God of War Collection
Metroid Prime Trilogy
LEGO Indiana Jones 2



Be my friend!
Wii: 2357-3047-5937-7707
Brawl: 2320-5805-7379
Xbox 360: Optiville
PlayStation 3: Optiville



My Top Ten Favorite (updated as I play) ...

... Role-Playing Games:
1. Final Fantasy VI
2. Mother 3
3. Chrono Trigger
4. EarthBound
5. Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King
6. Final Fantasy IV
7. Lost Odyssey
8. Kingdom Hearts
9. Paper Mario
10. Final Fantasy XII

... Adventure Games:
1. Day of the Tentacle
2. Full Throttle
3. Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis
4. Sam & Max Hit the Road
5. Grim Fandango
6. The Secret of Monkey Island
7. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
8. Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge
9. Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
10. Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure

... Action/Adventure Games:
1. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
2. Super Metroid
3. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
4. Resident Evil 4
5. Shadow of the Colossus
6. Beyond Good & Evil
7. God of War
8. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
9. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
10. God of War II

... Action Games:
1. Contra III: The Alien Wars
2. Gears of War 2
3. Gears of War
4. Contra 4
5. Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos
6. Ratchet: Deadlocked
7. Blast Corps
8. Gunstar Heroes
9. Ninja Gaiden
10. Viewtiful Joe 2

... Strategy Games:
1. Valkyria Chronicles
2. Fire Emblem
3. Pikmin 2
4. Advance Wars: Dual Strike
5. Advance Wars
6. Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
7. Pikmin
8. Advance Wars: Black Hole Rising
9. Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn
10. Little King’s Story

... Sports Games:
1. Punch-Out!!
2. Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!
3. Wii Sports Resort
4. Wii Sports
5. Super Punch-Out!!
6. Mario Golf
7. Mario Tennis
8. Pilotwings 64
9. Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour
10. International Superstar Soccer 64

... First-Person Shooters:
1. Half-Life 2
2. Bioshock
3. Goldeneye
4. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
5. Resistance 2
6. Left 4 Dead
7. Perfect Dark
8. Killer 7
9. Resistance: Dawn of Man
10. Call of Duty: World at War

... Racing Games:
1. Mario Kart DS
2. Diddy Kong Racing
3. Mario Kart 64
4. Mario Kart Wii
5. Mario Kart: Double Dash!!
6. F-Zero GX
7. F-Zero X
8. F-Zero
9. Wave Race 64
10. Excitebike 64

... Platformers:
1. Super Mario Galaxy
2. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island
3. Super Mario Bros. 3
4. Mega Man 2
5. LittleBigPlanet
6. Super Mario World
7. Banjo Kazooie
8. Super Mario 64
9. Mega Man 9
10. ‘Splosion Man

... Puzzle/Variety Games:
1. Portal
2. World of Goo
3. Tetris Attack
4. Shatter
5. Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box
6. Braid
7. Wario Ware: Twisted!
8. Katamari Damacy
9. Pac-Man: Championship Edition
10. Professor Layton and the Curious Village

... Rhythm Games:
1. Elite Beat Agents
2. Parappa the Rapper
3. Rock Band 2
4. Rock Band
5. Guitar Hero
6. Karaoke Revolution Presents American Idol
7. Karaoke Revolution - Volume 2
8. Guitar Hero II
9. Karaoke Revolution Party
10. Karaoke Revolution

... Shooters:
1. Ikaruga
2. Star Fox 64
3. Gradius III
4. Air Zonk
5. Space Invaders Extreme
6. Galaga Legions
7. R-Type III: The Third Lightning
8. Omega Five
9. Sin & Punishment
10. R-Type

... Party/Multiplayer Games:
1. Mario Party
2. Mario Party 2
3. Mario Party 6
4. Mario Party 7
5. UNO
6. Mario Party 3
7. Mario Party 5
8. Mario Party 4
9. Wario Ware, Inc: Mega Party Game$
10. Pac-Man Vs.

... NES Games:
1. Super Mario Bros. 3
2. Mega Man 2
3. Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!
4. StarTropics
5. Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos
6. Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse
7. The Legend of Zelda
8. River City Ransom
9. Ninja Gaiden
10. Zoda’s Revenge: StarTropics II

... Super NES Games:
1. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
2. Super Metroid
3. Final Fantasy VI
4. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
5. Chrono Trigger
6. EarthBound
7. Final Fantasy IV
8. Contra III: The Alien Wars
9. Super Mario World
10. Tetris Attack

... TurboGrafx-16 Games:
1. Air Zonk
2. Devil's Crush
3. Neutopia II
4. Neutopia
5. Bomberman '93
6. Bonk's Adventure
7. Alien Crush
8. R-Type
9. Cho Aniki
10. Bonk's Revenge

... Nintendo 64 Games:
1. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
2. Paper Mario
3. Banjo-Kazooie
4. Super Mario 64
5. The Legend of Zelda: Majora�s Mask
6. Goldeneye 007
7. Conker's Bad Fur Day
8. Star Fox 64
9. Banjo-Tooie
10. Diddy Kong Racing

... PlayStation Games:
1. Final Fantasy IX
2. Final Fantasy VII
3. Metal Gear Solid
4. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
5. Final Fantasy VIII
6. Resident Evil 2
7. Spyro the Dragon
8. Parappa the Rapper
9. Dino Crisis 2
10. Ape Escape

... GameCube Games:
1. Resident Evil 4
2. Beyond Good & Evil
3. Pikmin 2
4. Metroid Prime
5. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
6. Pikmin
7. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
8. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
9. Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance
10. Metroid Prime 2: Echoes

... PlayStation 2 Games:
1. Shadow of the Colossus
2. God of War
3. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
4. God of War II
5. Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King
6. Kingdom Hearts
7. Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando
8. Ico
9. Final Fantasy XII
10. Okami

... Wii Games:
1. Super Mario Galaxy
2. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
3. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
4. Punch-Out!!
5. Wii Sports Resort
6. Super Smash Bros. Brawl
7. Boom Blox
8. Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure
9. Super Paper Mario
10. Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn

... PlayStation 3 Games:
1. Valkyria Chronicles
2. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
3. Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
4. LittleBigPlanet
5. Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time
6. Resistance 2
7. Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune
8. Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction
9. Resistance: Fall of Man
10. Killzone 2

... Xbox 360 Games:
1. Half-Life 2
2. Portal
3. Lost Odyssey
4. Bioshock
5. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
6. Batman: Arkham Asylum
7. Gears of War 2
8. Dead Space
9. Street Fighter IV
10. Prince of Persia

... PC Games:
1. Day of the Tentacle
2. Full Throttle
3. Sam & Max Hit the Road
4. Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis
5. Grim Fandango
6. The Secret of Monkey Island
7. Roller Coaster Tycoon 2
8. Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge
9. King’s Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow
10. King’s Quest III: To Heir is Human

... Game Boy Advance Games:
1. Mother 3
2. Fire Emblem
3. Wario Ware: Twisted!
4. Advance Wars
5. Drill Dozer
6. Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
7. Advance Wars: Black Hole Rising
8. The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
9. Metroid Fusion
10. Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga

... Nintendo DS Games:
1. Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story
2. The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
3. Elite Beat Agents
4. Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box
5. Advance Wars: Dual Strike
6. Professor Layton and the Curious Village
7. Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime
8. Contra 4
9. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
10. Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney

... Xbox Live Arcade Games:
1. Shadow Complex
2. Braid
3. 'Splosion Man
4. Castle Crashers
5. Pac-Man: Championship Edition
6. N+
7. Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2
8. Ikaruga
9. Sam & Max Save the World
10. Wallace & Gromit's Grand Adventures

 xbox 360 gamertag
 mii friend code:
2357-3047-5937-7707

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