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So, I watched The Real World last night ...
Chad Concelmo | 12:40 PM on 01.08.2009 65 comments


That revelation alone is enough to make fun of me for months, but please just hear me out.

Looking past the unbelievably obnoxious young people who think they are the coolest human beings on the planet, there was one shining light of amazing.

Well, before I tell you about that, let me just vent about one of the obnoxious people.

His name is Ryan.



He is 19-years-old (this is important to the story) and just got back from serving in Iraq. Noble cause, sure, but all respect and admiration I could have had for this guy went out the window after this dialogue exchange:

Random roommate (to Dan): You were in Iraq?
Ryan (in a I-am-so-cool tone): Yeah.
Random roommate: What made you go?
Ryan (super serious): 9/11

Now, let’s do the math.

During 9/11, RYAN WAS ELEVEN-YEARS-OLD!

Ugh.

I still get douche chills just thinking about it.

But now to the part of the show that actually made me not want to kill myself.

There is a guy on the show named JD and, no joke, he is a dolphin trainer. A DOLPHIN TRAINER! Who really does that for a job?!



After he announced it they showed a montage of him swimming with said dolphins for, like, five minutes.



It was absolutely amazing.

I want to be JD.

And, yes, that is the saddest thing I have ever typed in my entire life.

Oh, also, newly discovered gay lizard:



Discuss.



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65 comments | showing # 51 to 65

prev 50 comments next

Samit Sarkar's Destructoid Blog
I still love you, Chad.
Artemus's Destructoid Blog
Chad... Chad... Chad... Oh, Chad.
Real World is one of those strange, stupid things that once you start to watch, you can't look away from, then suddenly you realize you watched an entire episode.
It also doesn't help when Mtv plays back to back episodes!
Damn them!
That's why I avoid that channel all together!
Just because the lizard "wears" pink does not make him gay. Gawd.
Necros's Destructoid Blog
That lizard looks pretty pimp.
superflossy's Destructoid Blog
aww, the gay lizard looks so happy!
Darkanubis87's Destructoid Blog
the best part are the douche chills. Would you spend a day with ryan, including a lunch (copped by you) to swim with the dolphins for 5 min? Would you consistently vote for an american idol if they were a dolphin trainer?
aborto thefetus's Destructoid Blog
Real men wear pink motherfucker! That lizard will break you in half for calling him gay Chad!
Zac Bentz's Destructoid Blog
I just saw this and thought of you. Liam Lynch's "Dolphin Song." Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L5F0whATrA
lv99ron's Destructoid Blog
Chad we met like twice, I'm still pretty new here, but really Real World? Come on. You would have been better off watching a Uwe Boll film.
Naitsu's Destructoid Blog
Who doesn't want to be such a ballin' liz?
kwaselow's Destructoid Blog
Wasn't there also a tranny this season?
Bizznet's Destructoid Blog
I know I'm late to the party, but BS3 Owner, that is the scariest tattoo I've seen EVER.
Mr Gilder's Destructoid Blog
I can't imagine ever watching the Real World . . . unless it was the Mad Real World ala Chappelle's Show.
Helenaquestion's Destructoid Blog
That lizard is fabulous, he would look great next to my pink DS and pink 360 controller.

oooh maybe I can teach him how to play!
Maromi's Destructoid Blog
Ryan - annoying? Oh yes. And JD is not only the nicest and most sane person in that house, he's a dolphin trainer. Is doesn't really get any better than that. I just feel bad that he has to live in that house with everyone else. Don't feel bad about watching it Chad. It's like a car crash; you just have to look. Plus, it's either watching Real World or ever stupider Brett Michaels' Rock of Love Bus. I think I can speak for the entire world when I say you better be watching Real World instead of that crap... and yes, Real World is not crap when compared to that.
Verol's Destructoid Blog
@BS3 Owner
If I ever get a tatoo, I know now what it will be of.


Still shows like Real World make me wish I could do one of three thinks.

1. Telepathically communicate through the TV. Angrily.
2. Pyrokinesis


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7. Lost Odyssey
8. Kingdom Hearts
9. Paper Mario
10. Final Fantasy XII

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3. Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis
4. Sam & Max Hit the Road
5. Grim Fandango
6. The Secret of Monkey Island
7. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
8. Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge
9. Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
10. Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure

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2. Super Metroid
3. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
4. Resident Evil 4
5. Shadow of the Colossus
6. Beyond Good & Evil
7. God of War
8. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
9. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
10. God of War II

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5. Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos
6. Ratchet: Deadlocked
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9. Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn
10. Little King’s Story

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3. Wii Sports Resort
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5. Super Punch-Out!!
6. Mario Golf
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8. Pilotwings 64
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... First-Person Shooters:
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4. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
5. Resistance 2
6. Left 4 Dead
7. Perfect Dark
8. Killer 7
9. Resistance: Dawn of Man
10. Call of Duty: World at War

... Racing Games:
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3. Mario Kart 64
4. Mario Kart Wii
5. Mario Kart: Double Dash!!
6. F-Zero GX
7. F-Zero X
8. F-Zero
9. Wave Race 64
10. Excitebike 64

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2. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island
3. Super Mario Bros. 3
4. Mega Man 2
5. LittleBigPlanet
6. Super Mario World
7. Banjo Kazooie
8. Super Mario 64
9. Mega Man 9
10. ‘Splosion Man

... Puzzle/Variety Games:
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3. Tetris Attack
4. Shatter
5. Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box
6. Braid
7. Wario Ware: Twisted!
8. Katamari Damacy
9. Pac-Man: Championship Edition
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... Rhythm Games:
1. Elite Beat Agents
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3. Rock Band 2
4. Rock Band
5. Guitar Hero
6. Karaoke Revolution Presents American Idol
7. Karaoke Revolution - Volume 2
8. Guitar Hero II
9. Karaoke Revolution Party
10. Karaoke Revolution

... Shooters:
1. Ikaruga
2. Star Fox 64
3. Gradius III
4. Air Zonk
5. Space Invaders Extreme
6. Galaga Legions
7. R-Type III: The Third Lightning
8. Omega Five
9. Sin & Punishment
10. R-Type

... Party/Multiplayer Games:
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2. Mario Party 2
3. Mario Party 6
4. Mario Party 7
5. UNO
6. Mario Party 3
7. Mario Party 5
8. Mario Party 4
9. Wario Ware, Inc: Mega Party Game$
10. Pac-Man Vs.

... NES Games:
1. Super Mario Bros. 3
2. Mega Man 2
3. Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!
4. StarTropics
5. Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos
6. Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse
7. The Legend of Zelda
8. River City Ransom
9. Ninja Gaiden
10. Zoda’s Revenge: StarTropics II

... Super NES Games:
1. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
2. Super Metroid
3. Final Fantasy VI
4. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
5. Chrono Trigger
6. EarthBound
7. Final Fantasy IV
8. Contra III: The Alien Wars
9. Super Mario World
10. Tetris Attack

... TurboGrafx-16 Games:
1. Air Zonk
2. Devil's Crush
3. Neutopia II
4. Neutopia
5. Bomberman '93
6. Bonk's Adventure
7. Alien Crush
8. R-Type
9. Cho Aniki
10. Bonk's Revenge

... Nintendo 64 Games:
1. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
2. Paper Mario
3. Banjo-Kazooie
4. Super Mario 64
5. The Legend of Zelda: Majora�s Mask
6. Goldeneye 007
7. Conker's Bad Fur Day
8. Star Fox 64
9. Banjo-Tooie
10. Diddy Kong Racing

... PlayStation Games:
1. Final Fantasy IX
2. Final Fantasy VII
3. Metal Gear Solid
4. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
5. Final Fantasy VIII
6. Resident Evil 2
7. Spyro the Dragon
8. Parappa the Rapper
9. Dino Crisis 2
10. Ape Escape

... GameCube Games:
1. Resident Evil 4
2. Beyond Good & Evil
3. Pikmin 2
4. Metroid Prime
5. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
6. Pikmin
7. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
8. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
9. Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance
10. Metroid Prime 2: Echoes

... PlayStation 2 Games:
1. Shadow of the Colossus
2. God of War
3. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
4. God of War II
5. Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King
6. Kingdom Hearts
7. Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando
8. Ico
9. Final Fantasy XII
10. Okami

... Wii Games:
1. Super Mario Galaxy
2. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
3. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
4. Punch-Out!!
5. Wii Sports Resort
6. Super Smash Bros. Brawl
7. Boom Blox
8. Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure
9. Super Paper Mario
10. Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn

... PlayStation 3 Games:
1. Valkyria Chronicles
2. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
3. Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
4. LittleBigPlanet
5. Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time
6. Resistance 2
7. Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune
8. Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction
9. Resistance: Fall of Man
10. Killzone 2

... Xbox 360 Games:
1. Half-Life 2
2. Portal
3. Lost Odyssey
4. Bioshock
5. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
6. Batman: Arkham Asylum
7. Gears of War 2
8. Dead Space
9. Street Fighter IV
10. Prince of Persia

... PC Games:
1. Day of the Tentacle
2. Full Throttle
3. Sam & Max Hit the Road
4. Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis
5. Grim Fandango
6. The Secret of Monkey Island
7. Roller Coaster Tycoon 2
8. Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge
9. King’s Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow
10. King’s Quest III: To Heir is Human

... Game Boy Advance Games:
1. Mother 3
2. Fire Emblem
3. Wario Ware: Twisted!
4. Advance Wars
5. Drill Dozer
6. Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
7. Advance Wars: Black Hole Rising
8. The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
9. Metroid Fusion
10. Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga

... Nintendo DS Games:
1. Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story
2. The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
3. Elite Beat Agents
4. Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box
5. Advance Wars: Dual Strike
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7. Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime
8. Contra 4
9. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
10. Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney

... Xbox Live Arcade Games:
1. Shadow Complex
2. Braid
3. 'Splosion Man
4. Castle Crashers
5. Pac-Man: Championship Edition
6. N+
7. Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2
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