I don’t usually like to write movie reviews, but I just got back from a midnight screening of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (after a necessary six hour nap) and had to talk about.

First, it may help to know that I am obsessed with the Indiana Jones movies. As a guy who grew up on these movies, the series is a part of my childhood. I can’t even tell you how many times I have watched Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom, and Last Crusade over the years.

So you can imagine my anticipation for Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. As I was driving to the theater last night I actually started shaking. “Oh my God, I am about to see a new Indiana Jones movie. I have been waiting my whole life for this.” I kept repeating this thought over and over again in my head up until the point when the lights dimmed and the movie began.

This giddy anticipation, though, did not come without some genuine concerns. Although I had avoided all reviews and articles on the movie, I had heard rumors that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull may involve aliens of some sort. Aliens? In an Indiana Jones movie? Say it ain’t so!

So as the first reel of the film began, I just prayed that all of my amazing childhood memories of this iconic action hero would not be ruined. I grasped the whip of the random guy dressed as Dr. Jones sitting next to me and hoped for the best.

So what did I think? Were there actually aliens in the movie? Was Harrison Ford way too old for the part? Was this the Indiana Jones movie I had been waiting for?



Keep in mind that there are some major spoilers from this point on. I try to avoid too many details, but some stuff will most definitely be ruined. I recommend not reading if you want to go into this movie fresh, as I did.

Let me start by talking about the stuff I absolutely adored. And, yes, I said adored.

Steven Spielberg. Wow. I mean, wow. This guy knows how to handle the visual medium of film. It is hard to explain, but Kingdom of the Crystal Skull feels like a movie that was made in the 1980s. And I owe this wonderful nostalgia completely to the talent of Mr. Spielberg.
From the opening Paramount logo that is purposely vintage to the glorious final shot, the entire film is like one giant throwback to old adventure movies. It is marvelous. The grain of the film, the traditional stunts, the special effects, the art direction: everything feels perfect and exactly like an Indiana Jones movie should. Steven Spielberg is such a master of film that every shot displays a composition that just oozes life and energy. The direction is fantastic. No one could have handled the material as well as him.

Harrison Ford. It took a few minutes to get used to him jumping around and performing some pretty unbelievable stunts for someone his age, but once the initial shock set in I got to sit back and watch a classic actor completely become Indiana Jones once again after 19 years.
Harrison Ford is remarkable in this film. He most definitely plays the character older (which is a good thing), but still retains that Indiana charm we all fell in love with. Every line that comes out of his mouth feels like something Indiana Jones would say. Harrison Ford’s performance is perfect.

The action sequences. Let’s be honest: these are the main reasons most of us love the Indiana Jones movies. Luckily, the action sequences in Kingdom of the Crystal are mostly amazing. In particular, an early scene set in Doom Town (an atomic bomb testing site) and an extended jeep chase through the jungles of the Amazon are extra impressive. I don’t’ want to give away too much, but the jeep chase has so many different “stages” of action that it may rank as one of my favorite action sequences in the entire series of movies. From sword battles to a giant swarm of killer ants, the jungle set pieces are jaw-dropping and tied seamlessly together to form an honest-to-God almost 15 minute non-stop action scene. Awesome.

Shia LaBeouf. I know, you are probably just as surprised as me that I typed his name into the “things I adored” category. I didn’t think I was going to hate his character Mutt – as Shia LaBeouf is a good actor – but I was worried he would just be cheesy and out of place in the series. The opposite is true.
Mutt is a greaser and the movie really plays this up, to mostly hilarious results. His character takes himself way too seriously, constantly combing his hair and spinning around his “blade” like he is the toughest guy in the room. Pairing this obviously forced machismo with Harrison’s Ford established badass character and you have a pretty classic duo. Instead of dreading the scenes with LaBeouf I actually looked forward to each and every one. He really is that good.

The overall setting. What I mean by this is the world in which the movie takes place. Set 19 years after Last Crusade, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is set in the mid 1950s, the height of the atomic age and communist paranoia. Luckily, the movie really plays this up, with the Russians and KGB replacing the Nazis. Not only does this work, it breathes new life into the series. Having scenes focused on the atomic bomb, the fear of communism, and the mysteries of the American government really helps the movie feel fresh.



And this actually leads perfectly into the giant elephant in the room: the aliens. So, are there aliens in this film? The answer is yes. Well, yes and no, I guess. But, surprisingly (and I never thought I would be typing this), the concept works ... to a point.

You see, the crystal skull in the title is actually the skull of one of thirteen “alien” creatures that appeared on the Earth thousands of years ago. The reason I put “aliens” in quotes is because they are not the typical aliens from outer space we have all grown used to hearing about. Although they look similar, these aliens come from another dimension of sorts, a “space between spaces” as one character puts it. They are not space aliens, but creatures from a mysterious world humans will never understand.

These thirteen aliens actually helped the Mayans build the Lost City of Gold in South America and were worshiped by the tribes as gods. According to the movie, if the one missing crystal skull is returned to the Lost City of Gold, the owner will be granted the ultimate power. This is why the Russians want to find the skull – and use Indiana Jones to accomplish that – they want to possess any and all power to defeat their enemies.

*MAJOR SPOILER ALERT* There is an actual alien at the end of the movie (although very briefly) and even a (*gasp*) spaceship that emerges from the ancient Mayan city. And, I know, it sounds awful and ridiculous, but it really isn’t. I swear. This was my biggest concern, but it was okay. True, it was a little odd at times with all the extraterrestrial talk, but it all seems to fit well in the Indiana Jones mythology. I mean, think about the other movies in the series: At the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, spirits come out of the ark and melt everyone’s faces; in Temple of Doom, a villain rips out people’s beating hearts and holds them in the air; in Last Crusade, a two thousand-year old knight hands Indy a cup to heal the wound of his dying father. The whole series is a little on the fantastical side.

The aliens in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull work well in the universe mainly because they fit in the time period that the movie takes place in. The 1950s – besides being just about the atomic bomb and communists – was about science fiction and people believing in otherworldly events. The movie tackles this theme with a pretty ludicrous premise, but somehow manages to make it work in the context of the world it establishes. You have to trust me on this one. It also helps that the final sequence in the movie – as over-the-top as it is – displays some of the coolest special effects I have ever seen on-screen before. I won’t ruin it, but it involves Indiana Jones standing on the edge of a cliff and watching an amazingly awesome event unfold right before his eyes. No cutaways. It is a gorgeous piece of movie magic.



God, I could keep writing about all the other things I loved about this movie, but this review is already way too long (sorry about that). Of course there is some stuff that doesn’t work (too much exposition, a Tarzan sequence that is pretty ridiculous), but when the entire movie is full of such wonderful energy, the missteps don’t seem all that bad.

I loved Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I even got a little teary-eyed at a couple of parts: the first time I heard the amazing music, seeing Indy put on his hat for the first time in years, MARION RAVENWOOD (*swoon*).

The movie is full of so much nostalgia and is just really well-made. After the ridiculous amounts of hype this movie was getting, I was sure to leave at the very least mildly disappointed. Surprisingly, I didn’t. What I did leave with was a giant smile on my face and the feeling of genuine satisfaction in my heart. Sitting in the theater last night, I was a child again for two hours ... and that made me the happiest guy on the planet.

The best thing I can say about the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is it feels like an Indiana Jones movie. And a rather good one at that. :)