Destructoid's Features Editor. Chad loves the Super Nintendo, pinball, Pixar, and dolphins. His dream is to one day be taken to the undersea kingdom of the dolphins and made their new king. Since that may not happen right away, he bides his time writing features for Destructoid and managing all of the original content that is posted to the site.
He absolutely adores Destructoid and the incredible community that goes along with it. The site has truly changed his life for the better.
If you are reading this, you will be spared when the dolphins take over the world. I give you my word.
What I'm playing: Darksiders II New Super Mario Bros. 2
Be my friend! Wii: 2357-3047-5937-7707 Xbox 360: Optiville PlayStation 3: Optiville 3DS: 1375-7200-0771
My Top Ten Favorite (updated as I play) ...
... Role-Playing Games: 1. Final Fantasy VI 2. Mother 3 3. Chrono Trigger 4. Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King 5. Final Fantasy IV 6. EarthBound 7. Lost Odyssey 8. Kingdom Hearts 9. Paper Mario 10. Final Fantasy IX
... Adventure Games: 1. Day of the Tentacle 2. Full Throttle 3. Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis 4. Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box 5. Sam & Max Hit the Road 6. King�s Quest III: To Heir is Human 7. Grim Fandango 8. King�s Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow 9. The Secret of Monkey Island 10. Professor Layton and the Curious Village
... 2D Action/Adventure Games: 1. Super Metroid 2. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past 3. Cave Story 4. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night 5. The Legend of Zelda: Link�s Awakening 6. Fez 7. The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass 8. StarTropics 9. Shadow Complex 10. Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime
... 3D Action/Adventure Games: 1. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 2. Shadow of the Colossus 3. Beyond Good & Evil 4. God of War II 5. God of War 6. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater 7. Metroid Prime 8. Okami 9. Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots 10. Ico
... Survival Horror Games: 1. Resident Evil 4 2. Dead Space 3. Resident Evil 2 4. Dead Space 2 5. Resident Evil 6. Dino Crisis 2 7. Resident Evil 5 8. Alan Wake 9. Silent Hill 10. Dino Crisis
... Open World Games: 1. Red Dead Redemption 2. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas 3. Bully 4. Grand Theft Auto IV 5. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City 6. inFamous 2 7. inFamous 8. L.A. Noire 9. Prototype 10. Crackdown
... 2D Action Games: 1. Contra III: The Alien Wars 2. Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos 3. Gunstar Heroes 4. ActRaiser 5. Contra 4 6. Ninja Gaiden 7. Gunstar Super Heroes 8. Viewtiful Joe 2 9. Snake Rattle 'n' Roll 10. Viewtiful Joe
... 3D Action Games: 1. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves 2. Uncharted 3: Drake�s Deception 3. Gears of War 2 4. Bayonetta 5. Sin and Punishment: Star Successor 6. Ninja Gaiden II 7. Gears of War 3 8. Vanquish 9. Gears of War 10. No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle
... Strategy Games: 1. Valkyria Chronicles 2. StarCraft 3. Fire Emblem 4. Pikmin 2 5. Advance Wars 6. StarCraft II 7. Advance Wars: Dual Strike 8. Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones 9. Pikmin 10. Plants vs. Zombies
... Sports Games: 1. Punch-Out!! 2. Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! 3. Wii Sports Resort 4. Wii Sports 5. Super Punch-Out!! 6. Mario Golf 7. Mario Tennis 8. Pilotwings 64 9. Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour 10. International Superstar Soccer 64
... First-Person Shooters: 1. Half-Life 2 2. Portal 2 3. Portal 4. BioShock 5. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare 6. Singularity 7. Deus Ex: Human Revolution 8. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 9. Resistance 2 10. Call of Duty: Black Ops
... Racing Games: 1. Uniracers 2. Mario Kart DS 3. Diddy Kong Racing 4. F-Zero 5. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 6. Mario Kart 64 7. Wave Race 64 8. F-Zero GX 9. Excitebike 64 10. Mario Kart: Double Dash!!
... 2D Platformers: 1. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island 2. Super Mario Bros. 3 3. Super Mario World 4. Super Meat Boy 5. Rayman Origins 6. Donkey Kong Country Returns 7. Mega Man 2 8. New Super Mario Bros. Wii 9. Mega Man 9 10. LittleBigPlanet 2
... 3D Platformers: 1. Super Mario Galaxy 2 2. Super Mario Galaxy 3. Banjo Kazooie 4. Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando 5. Super Mario 3D Land 6. Super Mario 64 7. Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time 8. Jak 3 9. Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy 10. Jak II
... Fighting Games: 1. Super Smash Bros. Melee 2. Mortal Kombat 3. Super Smash Bros. Brawl 4. Street Fighter IV 5. Super Smash Bros.
... Puzzle Games: 1. Tetris Attack 2. Planet Puzzle League 3. Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords 4. Meteos 5. Puzzle Quest 2 6. Tetrisphere 7. Tetris DS
... Rhythm Games: 1. Elite Beat Agents 2. Parappa the Rapper 3. Rock Band 2 4. Rock Band 5. Guitar Hero 6. Um Jammer Lammy 7. Guitar Hero II 8. Karaoke Revolution - Volume 2 9. Karaoke Revolution Party 10. Karaoke Revolution
... Shooters: 1. Ikaruga 2. Star Fox 64 3. PixelJunk Shooter 4. Gradius III 5. Air Zonk 6. PixelJunk Shooter 7. Galaga Legions 8. Space Invaders Extreme 9. R-Type III: The Third Lightning 10. Omega Five
... Party/Multiplayer Games: 1. Mario Party 2. Mario Party 2 3. Scene It? 4. Mario Party 6 5. Mario Party 7 6. UNO 7. Mario Party 3 8. Pac-Man Vs. 9. Mario Party 5 10. Mario Party 4
... Collections: 1. God of War Collection 2. Metroid Prime Trilogy 3. God of War: Origins Collection 4. The ICO & Shadow of the Colossus Collection 5. Final Fantasy Anthology 6. Final Fantasy Origins 7. Final Fantasy Collection 8. Sonic Mega Collection
... Beat 'em Ups: 1. Castle Crashers 2. River City Ransom 3. MadWorld
... LEGO: 1. LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4 2. LEGO Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures 3. LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes 4. LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7 5. LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean 6. LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga 7. LEGO Batman 8. LEGO Indiana Jones 2: The Adventure Continues 9. LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars
... NES Games: 1. Super Mario Bros. 3 2. Mega Man 2 3. Mike Tyson�s Punch-Out!! 4. StarTropics 5. Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos 6. Castlevania III: Dracula�s Curse 7. The Legend of Zelda 8. River City Ransom 9. Ninja Gaiden 10. Snake Rattle �n� Roll
... Super NES Games: 1. Super Metroid 2. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past 3. Final Fantasy VI 4. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island 5. Contra III: The Alien Wars 6. Chrono Trigger 7. Final Fantasy IV 8. EarthBound 9. Super Mario World 10. Uniracers
... Genesis Games: 1. Gunstar Heroes 2. Earthworm Jim 3. Sonic the Hedgehog 4. Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master 5. Shining Force 6. Beyond Oasis
... Nintendo 64 Games: 1. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 2. Paper Mario 3. Banjo-Kazooie 4. Super Mario 64 5. The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 6. Goldeneye 007 7. Star Fox 64 8. Conker's Bad Fur Day 9. Banjo-Tooie 10. Diddy Kong Racing
... PlayStation Games: 1. Final Fantasy IX 2. Metal Gear Solid 3. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night 4. Final Fantasy VII 5. Resident Evil 2 6. Final Fantasy VIII 7. Spyro the Dragon 8. Parappa the Rapper 9. Dino Crisis 2 10. Ape Escape
... GameCube Games: 1. Resident Evil 4 2. Beyond Good & Evil 3. Pikmin 2 4. Metroid Prime 5. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time 6. Pikmin 7. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door 8. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker 9. Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance 10. Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
... PlayStation 2 Games: 1. Shadow of the Colossus 2. God of War II 3. God of War 4. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater 5. Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King 6. Kingdom Hearts 7. Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando 8. Ico 9. Final Fantasy XII 10. Okami
... Xbox Games: 1. Halo 2. Ninja Gaiden
... Wii Games: 1. Super Mario Galaxy 2 2. Super Mario Galaxy 3. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess 4. Donkey Kong Country Returns 5. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption 6. New Super Mario Bros. Wii 7. Kirby's Epic Yarn 8. Punch-Out!! 9. Wii Sports Resort 10. Super Smash Bros. Brawl
... PlayStation 3 Games: 1. Valkyria Chronicles 2. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves 3. Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception 4. Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots 5. LittleBigPlanet 2 6. Demon's Souls 7. LittleBigPlanet 8. God of War III 9. Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time 10. Final Fantasy XIII
... Xbox 360 Games: 1. Half-Life 2 2. Portal 2 3. Portal 4. Lost Odyssey 5. BioShock 6. Red Dead Redemption 7. Rayman Origins 8. Enslaved: Odyssey to the West 9. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare 10. Batman: Arkham City
... PC Games: 1. Day of the Tentacle 2. Full Throttle 3. StarCraft 4. Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis 5. StarCraft II 6. Sam & Max Hit the Road 7. King�s Quest III: To Heir is Human 8. Grim Fandango 9. King�s Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow 10. The Secret of Monkey Island
... Game Boy/Game Boy Color Games: 1. The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening 2. The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons 3. The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages 4. Metroid II: Return of Samus 5. Final Fantasy Adventure 6. Final Fantasy Legend 7. Golf 8. Tennis
... Game Boy Advance Games: 1. Mother 3 2. Fire Emblem 3. Wario Ware: Twisted! 4. Advance Wars 5. Drill Dozer 6. Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones 7. Metroid Fusion 8. Advance Wars: Black Hole Rising 9. The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap 10. Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga
... Nintendo DS Games: 1. Mario & Luigi: Bowser�s Inside Story 2. The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass 3. Elite Beat Agents 4. Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box 5. Advance Wars: Dual Strike 6. Professor Layton and the Curious Village 7. Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime 8. Contra 4 9. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney 10. Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective
... PSP Games: 1. God of War: Ghost of Sparta 2. God of War: Chains of Olympus
... Nintendo 3DS Games: 1. Super Mario 3D Land 2. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3. Resident Evil Revelations 4. Mario Kart 7 5. Pilotwings Resort
... WiiWare Games: 1. Cave Story 2. World of Goo 3. Mega Man 9 4. Fluidity 5. Mega Man 10 6. Final Fantasy IV: The After Years
Hey, everyone! If you havenít taken the Retrolympics quiz on the front page of Destructoid, stop reading this right now. I mean, you can read a little further ... but stop before you get to the part where you have to scroll down.
These are the answers to the Retrolympics, a quiz on all things retro games. Hopefully you are in the process of taking the quiz right now. (If not, click here to participate!) Just start scrolling down to see all the correct answers. You can keep this window open as an answer guide as you make your way through the questions.
Okay, this is the last warning. I am going to post all the answers below. DONíT SCROLL DOWN IN FEAR OF BEING SPOILED!
So, what is in store for this year? Well ... it is not really decided yet. (Or is it?) Some ideas are working themselves out, but nothing is officially set in stone. (Or IS it?!)
Either way, we need your help! Just like the last two years, please leave some yes/no questions in the comments about this yearís upcoming E3! They can be about anything! What games do you want to see announced? Who will ďwinĒ the press conferences? Will Sony completely ignore the recent PSN controversy? Or will they handle it with humor?
Pic unrelated. I just love Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem.
Hey everyone! I need your help!
As some of you may know, last year I went to a real-life Los Angeles psychic to have her do some E3 predictions (you can read the post right here). I wanted to see if a random woman who knows nothing about videogames could make better predictions than the highly paid analysts that seem to just make educated guesses for a living.
The entire experience was incredible, ridiculous, and surprisingly accurate. The psychic did a pretty good job of predicting what would or would not be announced at last yearís big show.
Well, this year I am going to do another prediction post ... although this one will be a little different.
One thing that is not changing, though, is I still need a bunch of yes or no questions from you guys!
Last year you all did not disappoint when I asked you to provide a list of yes/no questions about things that could or could not happen at E3. In fact, the questions you provided were fan-freakiní-tastic! So letís do it again! (To get an idea of what I am looking for, you can click here for last yearís question post.)
Basically, just have fun and ask anything you want Ė as long as it is a yes or no question.
Curious if they will announce a certain game? Want to know if a new console will be revealed? Interested in proving or disproving all the E3 rumors that are already starting to circulate? Anything relating to E3 is welcome!
I may not be able to select all your questions for the upcoming prediction post, but please feel free to ask as many as you want. The more I have to choose from the better!
Sorry to keep the subject of all this a mystery. But, just like last year, I will save the big reveal for the actual post in a couple weeks.
Rest assured, though, that these yes/no questions are going to be put to very interesting use ...
NOW GET TO ASKINí! The more creative and varied the better!
As some of you may know, I am obsessed with Showgirls. The movie is absolutely brilliant on so many different levels and has some of the best scenes ever put to film. It also features my single favorite line of dialogue in the history of cinema. I feel a little bit uncomfortable repeating it here, but letís just say it involves ďprevious jobsĒ and ďbodily fluids.Ē
It also helps that I own the Showgirls VIP Edition on DVD, which includes many fantastic trinkets, my favorites being the pin-the-pasties-on-the-stripper game and the Nomi Malone shot glasses.
But I digress. *does signature Nomi Malone hand/arm shuffle*
Late last year, when it was announced that some random German filmmaker was making a sequel to my beloved Showgirls I had two reactions. At first, I screamed in excitement that there would be more Showgirls, but then I was angered once I heard what the movie would be about: something concerning a murder and some kind of vengeful woman and some crazy sex ring ... or something. Basically, the sequel would have NOTHING to do with the original movie and is only using the name ďShowgirlsĒ to grab attention.
But I held in my disappointment in someone not making a proper Showgirls sequel that obviously should take place with Nomi Malone making it in Los Angeles (if youíve seen the end of the first film, this cliffhanger is made very clear). I decided to give the crazy German filmmaker the benefit of the doubt, with the hopes that a brand new Showgirls sequel could be so bad itís good, just like the classic original.
Well ... a trailer was just released for Showgirls: The Return this week, and I have held in my thoughts on it ... until now.
The trailer for Showgirls: The Return is the worst thing I have ever seen in my entire life.
Like it or not, at least the original Showgirls had a budget and looked semi-professional. Showgirls: The Return looks like it was shot for ten dollars.
Okay, just so you can follow what I am saying, you can watch the trailer right here, but please keep in mind it is RIDICULOUSLY NSFW! It is basically porn. Donít say I didnít warn you.
(You can also click here if that first official link doesn't work. Apparently the movie's Web site just blew up. Ha!)
Now that you have watched it, what do you think? Yeah, I know, itís the longest, most boring trailer ever, right?
This German filmmaker is ruining the good name of Showgirls!
Since I am assuming this movie will never be released here, I still hold out hope that a true sequel to my precious will be made someday. Heck, maybe some of you want to work with me to get that done! Iím not kidding.
I give the trailer some ďso bad itís goodĒ props for that HILARIOUS scene when the girl ďhitsĒ the other girl in the head with the gun. That may be the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in my life.
Which, when talking about Showgirls, is the biggest compliment I can give.
Okay, I was going to do various countdown posts all week in celebration of the glorious Puppy Bowl that comes on this weekend, but ... well ... it was a crazy week and I didnít have time. I feel like I let down my precious puppies. Donít hate me, you cute scamps, you.
So, since my week is still out of control, I will make this quick.
Puppy Bowl VI is on this Sunday (2/7) on Animal Planet (during the Super Bowl).
It is by far better than the Super Bowl could ever wish to be.
As most of you probably already know, I am obsessed with the Puppy Bowl. So obsessed, in fact, that starting next week I am going to start a letter-writing campaign to try to be the referee for next yearís show. Sure, I will probably be the only one writing letters, but, hey, if I write enough, maybe it will happen!
For anyone that doesnít know (gasp!), the Puppy Bowl is Animal Planetís counter-programming to the annual Super Bowl. Basically it is a bunch of adorable puppies playing in a stadium-themed pen for two hours.
Not only is it far superior to the stupid Super Bowl (sorry, Samit!), it is one of the most ingenious pieces of television programming ever. I have never missed a year!
To celebrate this amazing, once-a-year event, all this week I will be counting down the days to the Puppy Bowl (2/7 on Animal Planet) by offering three compelling reasons to watch! One new reason today, Wednesday, and Friday!
Obviously, watching puppies play is reason enough to watch, but letís get into some of the specifics that will make this yearís Puppy Bowl one of the best ever!
Reason #1 Ė The starting line-up
This yearís crop of puppies is one of the best ever!
Take a look of these, my early picks for potential MVPs (most valuable puppy):
You can check out the whole line-up by clicking here.
So, what do you think? Cutest line-up ever? Who is your favorite (I have dibs on Kiva and Mason!)? Are you going to tune in? Itís my personal life goal to see the Puppy Bowl get higher ratings than the Super Bowl, so every new viewer helps!
Check back Wednesday for Reason #2!
6 more days ...
[UPDATE: In order to not spam the cblogs and make people annoyed with the Puppy Bowl before it even begins, I am only going to post three of these this week (today, Wednesday, and Friday). I blame my over-eagerness on how excited I get about this every year. Haha.PUPPY BOWL!]