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5:56 AM on 07.30.2015

Cblogs of 7/27/2015 + Videogame Narrativisims

In the past decade or so, we have seen the importance of videogame narrative be increasingly emphasized. We have seen games celebrated for their narrative oomph, while other ridiculed for purely story related reasons. In the middle of all that, we have seen a number of videogames heralded as equal to movies or books in their narrative strength. Many argument about the validity of videogames as high art exploded when famed movie critic Roger Ebert (Rest his soul) challenged the idea that games can ever be considered narrative art. For the sake of argument, I am purposely constraining art to be something of narrative value.

Five years ago, I would have unequivocally considered Roger Ebert wrong. Videogames can have a unique narrative strength. The story of Shadow of the Colossus can only be delivered properly if the player themselves participated in the killing of the Colossi. Games like Okami and the Legend of Zelda offer a unique narrative experience by thrusting you in their unique worlds.

Games did their own thing, and thus had a unique way in which narrative and gameplay melded together.

Never a bad moment to talk about SotC

The first Bioshock constructed an entire world underwater, and it invested you the player through both the major choices regarding the girls, and the minor choices of HOW you are playing the game. Similarly, Mass Effect 2 gives you your own story to star in. You become the Shepard of your choice, and it gives you enough moments to truly feel connected to your team. In my opinion, Mass Effect 3 was garbage because it focused more on the universe than the actual characters, but ME2 was like a space spaghetti western.

However, lately, I have noticed that games tried more to mimic movies instead of being their own thing. The Last of Us got a lot of attention the year it came out. A movie could have done that story with no problems. Bioshock Infinite was a disappointment; there were neither major nor minor choices to be made. Of course, the worst offenders are games that completely try to be movies, as The Order 1889 (or something) tried to be.

I remember Jim Sterling saying that the videogame industry has a hard-on for the film industry. Unfortunately, if videogames try and be movies, they are simply not going to be better than the thing they are mimicking.

 Okami was like playing inside of a Japanese portrait

P- PStoid is planning to have a podcast with Jed. I expect this to go smoothly and without any incident in the comments section (who am I kidding?).

B- This royalty wannabe, Lord (who is he kidding) Spencer wrote about how Mega Man is better with age. Poor sod only got one coment out of it (Tears).

S- Are you intrested in Laserdisc games? OrochiLeaona is continuing with his Laserdisc reviews in a second installment focusing on Freedom Wars, a frankestein mess of a game.

Would have been better as film

E- The head honcho himself announces change is coming to Dtoid.

S- Hyper Orange Buster Handgun (HLBC) finally popped his confrence cherry. He share the experience graphicaly and invites you to do the same.

C- The Internet can be a scary place. TuxedoKnight looked at the abyss associated with Five Nights at Freddies, and he thinks it is just too much. Just a tip, if you look into the abyss it will stare right the fuck back, so just don't look at it.

C- Change is hard, change is difficult, yet it is sometime neccessary. KiiWy reflects on the concept and its relevance to both Dtoid and our Hobby.

T- If you are addicted to Monster Hunter 4, then a dose of addiction to the Binding of Isaac migt be the cure. So says the big boss StriderHoang.

T- What superhero would Rocksteady use next. Totally not Batman might change his name to Totally not Superman.

T- CorruptAI125 shares the notes used to write an earlier blog about the Mass Effect series.

T- TuxedoKnight jumps into the Wii U doom train. I can only say that Nintendo didn't give up on the Wii U, it just doesn't have a chance to make it much bigger than what it is. If the games are as good as they jave been, I am fine with that.

T- JoyfulSanity compares between two major MMOs, FFIV and the Elder Scrols Online, and find that they shouldn't be compared to each other. Makes me wonder who did so i nthe first place

T- Josh Rivers dreams about Beyond Good and Evil 2. With the way Ubi have been conducting buisness, he will probably dream longer still.

D- Crafting is an often used mechanic in videogames. James Internet Ego explores it through two Star Wars examples.

R- Streets of Rage 2 is now in 3D. Shinta thinks it makes it an even better game.

L- n0signal reviews Time of Contempt, another book in the Witcher Saga.

ME2 is basically a seven smaurai in space, except its more than seven

Would have been just as terrible as a movie

F- Esteban Sky Cuevas shares part 6 of his DMC diaries. Except, he never shared parts 1 through 5, and we have no context of what is going on.

You have seen many recaps from me this week. Which I hope is enough Lordisms to last your for a while until I am able to do this again. Reading your blogs and showcasing them is proving to be lots of fun, and I am happy to hear any comments or feedback from you.

-Lord Spencer



5:12 AM on 07.29.2015

Cblogs of 7/28/2015 + 50 Degrees Celsius and Counting

It’s hot here.

Other than the stifling heat, which is almost visible through the shimmering of the air, we also get unbearable humidity. Sometimes, it feels as if I am swimming on land. What’s worse, it is yet to get seriously bad. In the coming two weeks, we expect several days to hit temperatures above 50 degrees Celsius (that’s 122 F for you SI illiterates).

Just now, I am assigned to the Early Works part in upgrading an oil refinery (of course), and I am getting tormented by the heat despite being an engineer. I can only look with pity at the workers who suffer through Saudi Arabia’s modern brand of slavery. True, Saudi is actually the best country in the GCC in treating foreign workers, and much needed reform was passed to protect workers from our unforgiving sun.

This is your worst enemy

Yet, I come from a family that used to work the sun in the past, and toil in this heat. Most of them say it is hotter now than then. No longer do we get the thin shade of palm trees to hide under, nor are we even blessed with the sand that absorbs the sun’s anger.

Instead, we work under pillars of iron that radiate the heat outward, and on top of rivers of concrete that simply bounces the sun rays upward. Heat in the summer months is an almost tangible presence, a brand of energy that engulfs all of us, sapping our strength and stamina.

As I go to work, I am not worried about any pit stains. They are pit puddles now, the fabric is so drenched in sweat it doesn’t allow for more to pass through. Mere moments outside of air conditioned fortresses are enough to regress a smart-dressed man into a disheveled shell of a life-form panting for water and shelter.

Living with this heat all my life, I often wonder about how videogames try to incorporate the concept (often with desert themes) into their game. Often, games are lacking in that regard. Their protagonists rarely registering the facts of heat, despite many usually showing difference to the more familiar cold.

From the top of my head, I remember the desert sequence in Uncharted 3. Simply put, if you are ever stranded in the Empty Quarter desert, you are going to die. Not only will the heat suffocate you, but the quality of the sand is such that any movement is very difficult and more like walking against the surf. If you sleep, you are just going to get buried by moving mounds of sand.

Like a pretty US boy would survive in the desert with all that gear

Some RPG games try and show the effects of heat and desert conditions in their games. Often, deserts are shown as unnavigable labyrinths, with each screen leading to one you have been to before. Some like Secret of Evermore, which I recently completed, rob you of your health as you go through the desert.

Still, I am waiting for the game that captures the oppressive effects of heat. Effects that at once torture you and make you susceptible to more torture. Like a constant rope in the neck, that bites just enough to make you feel constant pain, without ever being able to get used to it.

TLDR, Its fucking Hot here.

*- AvtrSpirit finishes up his series on game critisicim with a bang. Talking about violence in games. Make sure to read his previous 3 entries as well. Great job.

A- What do you think about women bodies in videogames? In well thought out article, jtompkins notes that its not only an issue unique to video games. Also, men with the exception of fighting games suffere from it as well.

 Obviously, its not as hot in Lordran as in the Middle East

E- Our own resedint fairy outlines the direction the community have been going for, with more promotions and topics. Most importantly, she calls for more initiative if we want to continue the Band of Bloggers series.

T- I am not sure if only watching youtube videos qualifies someone to say that the final Five Nights at Freddies game is the best, but TrainerAmy thinks so.

T- This is not the first time I've seen it, but Mr Knives actually took it the blogs to defend Devil's Thrid right to exist as a terrible game. It might be atrocious, but it could still be fun.

T- Is the Newest Nintendo handheld iteration, the New 3DS worth buying? JohnPatChap weighs in his opinion.

T- TuxedoKnight jumps into the Wii U doom train. I can only say that Nintendo didn't give up on the Wii U, it just doesn't have a chance to make it much bigger than what it is. If the games are as good as they jave been, I am fine with that.

T- JoyfulSanity compares between two major MMOs, FFIV and the Elder Scrols Online, and find that they shouldn't be compared to each other. Makes me wonder who did so i nthe first place

T- Josh Rivers dreams about Beyond Good and Evil 2. With the way Ubi have been conducting buisness, he will probably dream longer still.

D- Note to developers, Bows make your games better, according to Totally not Batman. That's probably the Green Arrow talking.

R- New guy TWalken16 shares a review he wrote for another website. I feel that more context is needed about yourself to make the community care more.

That's me with my pet camel....... Not really

C- GamerFaith is rebooting her Pixilized Creations. Wouldn't more pictures and details better encourage people to visit your KS page?

F- I am not sure what Retrofraction was trying to do here, he called satire at the end which made me even more confused.

See that, there is no place to hide from the sun

That's it for this day, with a lot of articel in the Gametoid section. Probably, I will have to work in my sorting skills in the future. But for now, I will try to chill with a glass of cold ice water, in preperation for driving the hot oven known as my car.

-Lord Spencer



4:05 AM on 07.28.2015

Cblogs Of 7/26/15 + A Return Of The Salesman Pitch

Hey! You may remember a month or three back when I talked about an exciting way that Call Of Duty could revitalise the series: Through Call Of Duty: Zanzibar. That it would be an exciting real-time depiction of the Anglo-Zanzibar War. Well, this time I come in the form of a simple suggestion of a patch to Call Of Duty, or perhaps just a part of the up-and-coming Call Of Duty: Black Ops 3.

An on-going concern that has been raised time and time again about military shooters is the casual nature of them towards depictions of war. That they are fun multiplayer landscapes where you gleefully kill your friends as a sport, even sometimes being able to launch a nuclear strike on your own position (by the way, Modern Warfare's campaign mode should have told you why that's a bad idea). This lies in contrast to the grim reality of war where not only lives are lost but people are physically and mentally wounded by the havoc it wrecks upon body and mind.

So, I propose an easter egg to fix this.


The non-fun kind.


While trying to discuss the tragedy that is human injury may be too grim and complex for a Call Of Duty multiplayer setting, I feel it would be possible to impart on the player the tragic nature that is the lives lost by fighting. This would come in the form of an easter egg on the mode Search & Destroy, as the singular life system would allow the player to reflect upon their character's departure from the world.

While usually a player's death will lead to the usual sudden death rattle, I propose a rare chance for an alternative sound to be made. Something longer, desperate and grim. A final scream akin to the deaths in Red Orchestra 2.

 I would hope these are rare enough to be shocking and heart-tugging, without over-staying their welcome to an irritating or humorous level. It is possible the player will go on to lose the match, as they are too shocked to play to their fullest capacity, but I think in the defeat they will go on to face in the game they will walk away with a moral victory. That they have grown as human beings mentally in a similar way that Spec Ops: The Line allowed people to consider some interesting moral conundrums.

I think we need this, and I truly hope you agree with my nefarious plan to put into what is meant to be a fun game horrifying death-screams. As I believe it would help us grow as an industry in the process.

Anyway, on with the recaps.

* – KingSigy considers about what if, like his bass guitar teacher rambles about, video games are a waste of time. I personally can't help but think what is and what isn't a waste of time depends on your values. Like I cherish most things, even ones I don't like (like rap music actually), as most hobbies have the possibility to create happiness and a positive community. Which, to me, happiness and spreading happiness to others is one of the most important things in life. Although I'm sure some outlooks would depict video games as a waste of time.

A – You may remember Steam accounts getting hacked recently. TheKodu considers not only the actual hacking itself but also how the motivation behind the hacking may have been gambling related. It seems like the video game gambling scene may be in its infancy enough to be a somewhat unsafe place, but hey, it is a gamble I guess.

A – Do you know the name “Lawrence Holland”? What about Alien Syndrome? Flegma talks about both, as well as the various amounts of success of space flight sims.

S – Dreamweaver wants you to swallow his sexual innuendos, preferably in one gulp although it is quite the load, in this week's Comments Of The Week.


 If you have time on your hands, I HIGHLY recommend checking out Extra History's lead up to World War 1. It is by the same people as Extra Credits. Although I recommend watching it on Youtube as embedding here seems to cut off the top and bottom of the video, and I haven't quite worked out how to stop the auto-resizing thing C-blogs do these days for videos.

S – It is interesting I think to hear Pixie The Fairy talk about how she started a Knight Of The Old Republic playthrough trying to be nice to people and it quickly descended into being an absolute bitch to everyone. It is similar to what happened to me when I was playing Telltale's Game Of Thrones, how I started off trying to be nice to people and quickly turned into a skulduggery complete bastard. Anyway, hope you're feeling better from the allergies. 

S – Remember that green fella JoyfulSanity? Well, he's back and got a website to boot that he totally wants you to subscribe for and totally didn't pay me money to advertise how you should totally subscribe for it.

N – Jed Whitaker has spread news from the front page into the blogs by keeping people up-to-date about WWE 2K15's Hulk Hogan DLC. He even handily has a “view full story + comments” link to the same blog post. So that's nice.

T – So, when are we going to get a faithful Warhammer game? The type the resembles close to the rules, the large variation of sides (including Ogre Kingdoms) and maybe a Matt Ward tribute to frustrating fans. Mike Wallace wants to know.

T – Sonic429 talks about his experiences with the 6th gen of consoles, as well as his thoughts on the PS2, Gamecube and X-Box. 

A – Gamerfaith shows off some really awesome pixel-art cupcake toppers that she hopes to sell in her store on Etsy in the future. If you're really impressed, she has a Kickstarter going that you can buy some Perler and Hama bead pixel art work from.

? - Perd Hapley wants only one Nintendo console in their life, and needs you to help convince them which one to pick up.

V – So you may have heard about this game called Bears Can't Drift?! which is like a kart game but with bears. So, naturally, Scary Granules had to pop their head around the corner to give it a review. If it is bear-y good or bear-ly functional is something you'll have to see (sorry about the puns, I don't mean to inspire fur-y, just rather paws for thought). They also give Her Story a nice talking about. I recall having to review Her Story for another website and found it personally the most promising revival of the FMV game style currently going about.

F - Come on de BLOO, sell me on it. Tell me why I should buy Streets Of Rage 2 when Streets Of Rage is pretty damn awesome. I ain't buyin' your friendship.


 - Riobux



8:08 PM on 07.26.2015

Cblogs of 7-24-15 + Life Are Strange


I have not had good interactions with mowfuckas (TPB J-Rock inspired) lately. Let me take you through just a couple of instances one by one before we get to recaps:

Scene A-

One of the best skate spots around here is under a bridge, which I also found out the hard way is killer on the ear drums - seriously consider bringing plugs next time. So a lone skate-hobo decided to claim his spot down there and he apparently lives there now. That's all well and good. I don't want to talk shit about the homeless. Well it would be kind of easy if not for the fact that he kept a fire going, all day and mind you this is summer/he wasn't cooking anything on it. He was just setting random garbage he found on fire in a garbage can, to be a dick. It smelled pretty bad and prevented me from some good warming up on the side of the park with the small manny pads before I went on to the higher ones. It seems like a minor complaint but it kind of ruined my session. Skating is all well and good and even in the blistering heat of summer or under an roaring, echoing bridge, but skating when there are newspaper fumes everywhere sucks. It feels like all the air inside of my lungs disappears and becomes an old datsun.

On top of that the guy was just rude, he flipped me off when I told him I didn't have any money then he kept trying to bum cigarettes off of me (which I don't carry as I don't smoke) and he came up with this bit that was humorously sad and aggravating at the same time. He said that he's the troll that lives under the bridge and there's a toll to skate here a cigarette or a dollar. It's kind of cute and maybe I'd give him the dollar had he not turned the park into an upper respiratory hazard. So he said I better bring something for him next time or he'll punch me in the "fucking" face. I didn't start anything but I feel like my response didn't have any show of cowardice, just disinterest. I really wanted the interaction to be over. I don't want to come off like an asshole though, haven't been back to that park next time I'll get him back just as long as he lets me skate in peace.

Scene B - More skateboarding. Last week an awesome company toured down by my state and they threw together a demo. It was great. But there was no shortage of awkwardness and dealing with angry people. Couple pointers if you ever go to a skate demo - I honestly didn't know as it was my first time getting shit signed. 1) Don't bother them while they're skating, even if it's after the demo. It's just rude. Consider them in "no autographs" mode if feet are on board or they're in the skate area. 2) Have the fucking sharpie cap open when you hand them your marker. (Also have markers!) I didn't know that and it wasn't till later I realized why forty different people asked me to take off the cap. Now I'm thinking why would they say that, can't they just do it themselves? Well they want the process to go by quicker. So they can get to the next autograph. So a ready sharpie means they can get an autograph done in a few seconds, or at least a few seconds faster. Finally 3) If it's not a "seated" signing where everyone is at a table and they make everyone line up prepare for bullshit. You will have to go all around looking for the Pros you want to get your shit signed by and it will be annoying and you will also probably miss a few. I ended up not getting about five that I wanted. Still had a good ”haul" though.

I honestly didn't know some of those rules, which makes me wish I went to a signing before this, of a similar type, but of a brand and team I didn't care as much about, just so I could pick up these rules and be ready for this one. Because I've been waiting for this one for years now. Anyway the shittiest thing that happened here was when I broke rule number two and pissed off someone who I was most looking forward to meeting. Did not get his signature that's for sure and I'll have a different approach next time around, whenever that may be. One thing you do learn though is who the chill people are. Some of the team riders were super amped to sign my deck and talk, others didn't give a shit about the pen cap thing and one dude already had a marker so you didn't need one. I forgot so he was my first autograph. Then I borrowed a sharpie off of some random guy at the place. Sharpies are key.

Scene C - And finally this bucket of shit. (Sorry for all the expletive by the way, I think I should get a pass for these stories though). No list of horrible human interactions experienced would be complete without a mass transit story. So it's a good friend's birthday, we ate at some fairly upscale place where you end up hungrier than what you paid for, by quite a bit. I'm coming home by subway and it's crowded, as usual. I don't notice at first because of headphones cranked up but I keep bumping into some guy sitting down. And apparently I had done this five times throughout the hour we were both there. The awful part is the guy has a crutch with him, presumably it's not a handicap but for a temporary thing like a broken bone or whatever. At exactly one stop before mine, he gets up and is inches from my face and his mouth moved. For that initial second I wanted to do the subway taking thing where you kind of notice someone or something happening but then ignore it because whatever. But it wasn't that simple he was talking to me, I just didn't hear him. Okay he wanted his space. He didn't curse or anything but he was clearly quite pissed. At like midnight on the subway coming home from drinking at a friend's birthday I'm not looking for trouble. I said sorry at least once and two times told him I'd move away so it wouldn't happen again. He sat back down. Awkwardness ensues. It was nice that the next stop was mine but I couldn't help but feel to have just accidently been a part of a "scene" in public. Next time I'm on the bus or train or what the fuck ever I'll be sure to nightcrawler it up and suction cup my ass to the ceiling. That way I won't bump for a second into anybody.


That was my last week. Dealing with all sorts of strange interactions. I'm actually hoping to see something top all of these. Maybe next week I'll be sitting in the last pew at church and for a single moment every last head will turn towards me and then back again.

No theme this week, only random pictures.


[url=][b]*[/b] - I hope some of you can take a moment to go read this article and leave something, Forsakeneyes is dealing with the type of problem that no one should have to go through.[/url]

[url=][b]*[/b] - That dose of Occams you've been waiting for, it's here![/url]

[url=][b]*[/b] - Gaj does that thing I like, which is screenshot blog-let's plays, in his entry for the better with age blogger's wanted assignment.[/url]


[url=][b]S[/b] - Strider dashes on by to tells us about ninjas and shit. Oh and to sell me on this game I kinda feel bad about missing out on now.[/url]

[url=][b]A[/b] - It's always cool to see someone go back and replay one of their favorite games and try to critique it, hold it up to the great lenses of time and see if it aged well or not. This blog should've probably been under the "Better With Age" Banner :P[/url]

[url=][b]S[/b] - Adam P brings us another edition of his blog Challenger Approaching in which the challenger this time around is Xenoblade Chronicles characters.[/url]

[url=][b]A[/b] - Kazama is back to teach us more history on Fighting Games. Honestly I had to skim some parts as the technical detail go way way WAY over my head and I'm simply content with sitting in the comfort of my own home, facing a television screen and waggling a stick on my lap (for fighting games). But here Kazama talks about the honest to god importance of having the right version of a fighting game for a tourney.[/url]

[url=][b]A[/b] - If you ever wanted to see a bunch of different Wii games categorized according to how they employ use of the Motion function, Felgma has you covered![/url]

[url=][b]P[/b] - My Podcast did a thing, go check it out, or don't but you might miss out![/url]



[url=][b]F[/b] - WE came WE saw WE CON-solequered!! - Playstation FNF.[/url]


[url=][b]R[/b] - Lord Spencer Reviews MadWorld, a game that I have heard so much about and wanted so badly but already abandonded any love for Nintendo and it's Wii by that point.[/url]

[url=][b]T[/b] - Mike Wallace shares a video talking about Gaben's ultimate trump card Half Life 3 and some reasons it may not have been released yet. Personally I think it's time to move on.[/url]


[url=][b]A[/b] - CO Jakyl shows us his art and a cool tool to make pixel art with.[/url]



No fails this week except for me!




2:50 AM on 07.26.2015

Cblogs of 7/25/2015 + Origins of Lord Spencer and Username-isms

So this is my first attempt at a recap, and its actually 3 days earlier than it should have been. Thus is life in the Reservist shed; we are the paramedics of the recap team. Which is not bad at all, because it allows us to keep the Recap machine well oiled and running, all so that you guys can see what's happening in the C-blogs; the real reason you stay in Dtoid.

I always found user names in websites to be an interesting mystery; the choice of which reveals a lot of about each poster. Someone should do a study on that, pronto. Invariably, my own user name has its story and importance for me. When I first joined an online forum, the name "Lord Spencer" immediately jumped to mind. At that stage, the memories of the name have long became irrelevant, yet the name strongly suggested itself to me as my online persona.

So who is Lord Spencer?

To understand who Lord Spencer is, we first must understand where he came from. A long while back, I used to play a game with my cousins using Legos, we called it playing Kings. In that game, we basically used all of our Legos to craft a world that can only be described as a three-person MMO. It was a cutthroat world influenced by everything we knew, from family affairs to cowboy movies. In each era, one of use controlled the king character, and the game world flipped on its head.

In the beginning there was a tyrant, who was deposed by a popular revolution. The popular king tried to expand the influence of his "republic" and he invaded other countries, only to be invaded himself by the monarch of a large empire. The monarch installed his son, who's only goal in life was to die on the tunes of One Winged Angel (seriously, that was his goal) as he rebelled against his father. This paved the way for the lawless gangster era, which came to an end when Vikings came in and installed order in the land. However, the Vikings proved to be weird tyrants, who exiled anyone who did not have facial hair, and they were deposed by another popular revolution. This time, the kingdom thrived under the new king, and continued to expand, only to fall in civil war after the great king died. From the ashes of the Civil war came another great king, who finally made the country into a global force, only to fail to invade Japan, his homeland. After the last king's death, the country became a true republic, with voting rights and political parties. Then, we grew up, the Legos started to break, and the game fell under its own enormous weight as more complexities made it difficult to change.

This was the castle we used. That Ball was used to assasinate a few people

In this world Lord Spencer was born.

The central conceit of the character is in his name; his mother named him Lord because she wanted to push the idea of greatness in his mind, and that being a Lord is not only a birthright. Lord Spencer realized early on that only through money and connections does he stand a chance of fulfilling his namesake. I don't what attracts me to Lord Spencer to this day; perhaps because he is my opposite in many way. A lot of things which I feel are important and decent are only obstacles to Lord, who feels loyalty, compassion, and integrity are only obstacles to his goal. Yet, because I controlled him, wouldn't he have some of that buried in?

By the end of the game, Lord Spencer became such a powerful entity in the game's universe that I couldn't play as him anymore. He simply was too powerful, and thus I had to let him go. In the end, he sailed into the golden sunset, sailing in a golden boat.

I like to think that it wasn't retirement. In the end, Lord Spencer did not care about the money, nor about power. He really wanted to just put one over other's heads. He wanted to win the chess match more so than the reward. No, Lord Spencer would live on, being a conman until he dies, probably because Karma finally caught on with him. Or maybe he manages to pull one over Karma itself.

This really Lord Spencer with a hook for a hand.

That is my name. What is yours?

*- James Internet Ego shares his most satisfactory moments in gmaing, and asks you for yours.

This was the dice of fate. It controlled the outcome of everything.


Isn't this a guy you would trust with your life?

If you got conned, its really for fault.

T- Isn't that something, NinjaSpped talks about Metroid Federation Force with some hope instead of anger

D- Do you want to know how to completely ruin your Kickstarter campaig, darrenhupke has your back. Not at all related to Red Ash.

In super saiyan mode.

C- GamerFaith is rebooting her Pixilized Creations. Wouldn't more pictures and details better encourage people to visit your KS page?

I didn't want to start my first Recap with a fail blog included. I also didn't want to start it with the LEAST amount of blogs recorded this month.

Anyway, I look forward to writing other recaps. Here is for more blogs in the future though.

-Lord Spencer



6:30 AM on 07.25.2015

Cblogs of 7/20/15 + Social Media, Schmocial Schmedia

Ah ha! Despite it not being Sunday at all, I'm here to do an intro (or, as they call it in the Destructoid community blog recapping industry, an “ism”). So, let's talk about something fun. Let's talk about social media.

I admit social media is probably my least favourite part of trying to be a games journalist, as I consider myself a somewhat private person (despite being open as well, oddly). I dislike putting myself on the public centre stage and screaming out to the masses various one-liners. Especially as said one-liners are often not allowed enough characters to create a sense of “okay, this is what I think, but if you think otherwise that is okay”. Usually you have to be blunt and to the point, like the worst knife that rips and tears rather than cuts and slices.

This has led me to keep my more odder ideas safely tucked away deeper in my head and to keep in mind particular phrases never to use (e.g. never, EVER, bring up ANYTHING to do with feminism, BAD!) as I wouldn't have the characters to say “but no, wait, I didn't mean to offend a huge chunk of people” and doing it in another post may lead to said post being missed. I feel okay sharing the stranger conclusions I have arrived to to you (e.g. videogame portrayal of female sexuality is weird, especially in games with a pre-built main character, as they seem to either be non-sexually inclined or lesbians, at at least bisexuals), because I trust you not to look at what I say with the gravest intentions and with a certainty I definitely lack.

I'm not even certain about my lack of certainty or the extent of it.

I trust you Destructoid to challenge me, and not look down on me for being wrong (e.g. “What about games such as Valkyria Chronicles where the main female character clearly falls in love with the main male character? Also, consider the amount of males without a show of sexuality, why is this necessarily a bad thing considering sexuality is often not relevant to the game? Like for example in a war game like Call Of Duty?”). However, once you utter something that can be construed as a bit off on Twitter, well, good luck because that is a stain as long as it exists undeleted and it seems someone will one day dig it up to show how much of an idiotic awful person you are.

That last part, well, perhaps I wouldn't mind if I was regular weird me with my bag of odd tricks (“Yes? Sometimes I'm wrong. I'd rather speak out and be corrected than stay quiet and ignorant.”), but games journalism seems a field where you're meant to show who you are. Well, most of it, except the parts that people would look upon in ire and disgust. Audiences often want a sense of a real you rather than an uncanny valley version of a personality, which is fine... Up to the point where you reveal too much of you (e.g. half-baked ideas you don't mind being corrected on) and offend the masses. Which the idea of a “simulation of you” is forever an unsettling concept to me, like comedians who are told “I liked you more when you were funny” when they stop trying to make people laugh and lift down the performance mask (which is more disgusting when you consider how many comedians learned humour in the first place so people would actually like them, as they grew up miserable and socially isolated).

What is even more awkward to me about social media generally, specifically to a field like games journalism, is self-promotion. You really have to go out there and sell yourself by doing weird small summaries of reviews, while linking in the developer so they may hopefully retweet it for their followers. That hopefully you get more traffic than you would have anyway to what you just wrote. After all, even if you're not currently getting paid in page views, you still need to make a name for yourself. Which what gets retweeted and what lies cold and unnoticed is, well, a bit unpredictable.

Self-promotion feels roughly as narcisistic as it sounds.

For example, despite all the heavy praise and excitement I've thrown at Telltale Games (even a Game Of The Year declaration) and how prevalent they feature on Twitter, I have never had a favourite or a retweet by them. For added context, I personally have reviewed every single Game Of Thrones and Tales From The Borderlands episode to date with high praise (well, mostly anyway).

In contrast to this, a day or two ago at this point (when your sleep pattern can be boiled down to “SOMETIMES I TIRED, FALL DOWN, SLEEP!” days mush together), I tweeted a review I did of The Red Solstice. It was the type of tweet where I was in an unnecessarily-snarky mood. It read “The land of red, black, brown and no other colours, @TheRedSolstice is still a fantastic co-op multiplayer.” along with the review address below. It was retweeted by not only the developer but also the publisher.

Perhaps (read as: likely is) it is a size problem, with Telltale Games being a huge towering juggernaut that doesn't notice the puny website I work for, or potentially something else I haven't noticed. It still disappoints me to not even get a hat-tip in recognition (i.e. a message or a quick “favourite”) if not a retweet, but perhaps it just hurts more because of my love of Telltale...

Anyway, to Luna with the recaps (explanation below).

- Riobux

The usual facilities offered by a net cafe. More so if MOBAs are involved.

A - Kratos282 lists his 4 favorite Western/Cowboy games. Ever! Interesting choices on what some would count under the genre.

Wrong image on the Harvest Moon entry. That's from Farmville 2.

A - Pixie is back on her "Post-game Juggling Act" of trying to decide what to play next by playing everything.

S - I was quite fond of Virtual Kazama's "History of EVO" series of blogs. Today, he gives us some additional moments mentioned by readers and some highlights from the recently concluded EVO 2015.

B - Nikosho spends his first blog telling why Shadow Hearts: Covenant gets better with age.

Some spacing errors with quotation and punctuation marks.

C - Jed clarifies on an old video and character he made, which appear to have been brought up once more and used against him by some of his detractors.

R - Dinosir grew up with Jet Set Radio Future and has become one of his go-to games. Repeated playthroughs has made him appreciate how wonderfully silly it is.

R - n0signal's wife stops by an shares her glowing review of "Hipster Simulator Game" Life is Strange.

D - CO Jakyl can't seem to get that jumping animation right for his game, Tales of Riva. At least the controller support is working fine.

F - Manchild is filled with fond memories of Kung Fu Rascals, as he gets reacquainted with the schlock B movie of his childhood, now available on YouTube.

Wanna know what else is internet sufferring? Editing a blog, writing additional content, uploading and inserting images, and transferring everything over from the draft to a new blog, on a phone, while in a moving vehicle. Perhaps the most harrowing experience you can make for yourself in this blogging space. The editor is simply not designed for it. Had do some improvising with embedding images since the "copy" button in the images list does not show up (I found out that you can edit the URL of the thumbnail slightly to get the full image) Also, if you happen to press a button such as the "view source code" button while in the wrong orientation, you're gone. No exiting that menu anymore since the buttons go past the screen. Add all of those to the blog's tendency to bug out sometimes when saving your progress.

I ain't no Kazuma Kiryu.

I'll be the failtoid again. I am very sorry for the late recap post again. 5 days late, that's unacceptable. The recap portion was already done back in Wednesday, but I am still having difficulties coming up with something interesting to write for that "isms" portion of the blog, which is why I got Rio to work on that instead. The next time around, I'll only "call dibs" on a Monday when I already have an "isms" ready to go. There is another blog I'm working on. Hopefully, I can get it done this weekend, also as a small way to make it up for all of you.

- Luna Sy @l_unaSy
Image source: これはこれであり | kounog [pixiv]



12:11 PM on 07.24.2015

Cblogs of 07/23/15 + Equivalent Exchange of Trump Cards

I've been a bit absent from Dtoid this week. In fact it's safe to say I've been a lot absent. Now I'd like to tell you that I had a perfectly valid reason for not being around, and frankly I should have had a valid reason.

But the truth is, I watched Akame ga Kill! and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. Yes, both. From start to finish. I blame this entirely on Nekro and extatix.

- Okay, so perhaps not blame per se.

I've mentioned this a long time ago (almost two years if you want to be specific), but I adore disturbing dark anime. I realize how unhinged this is going to make me sound, but there's just something about characters dying in droves or going completely off their rocker (and then killing the still sane characters in droves) that gets me completely invested in a series. It doesn't just have to be gore either, dark mysteries and horrifying revelations also work for me. Give me eldritch abominations, heads exploding, limbs being cut off, desperation, the works. I particularly love what I've dubbed 'the crazy-face'. That one face anime characters pull when they've gone waaaaaay off the deep end

I'm talking about series like Hellsing, Deadman Wonderland (patron saint of the crazy-face), Attack on Titan, Dangan Ronpa, Future Diary and From the New World.

- It's okay, he's the good guy...for a certain definition of 'good'.

So now that you know that, it should come as no surprise that I loved Akame ga Kill! and Fullmetal Alchemist

Akame ga Kill! depicts what is probably the most corrupt government this side of Star Wars. Those with power loot, pillage and kill indescriminately while those without power can't do anything other than shut up and take it. The protagonists are a group of assassins with ridiculous combat skills, superpowered weapons, and zero mercy. You know the famous sword Murasame (Muramasa's counterpart), the legendary demon sword that kills anyone with just one cut? The protagonist has it. She doesn't rely on it too much though; while a cut on someone's finger would be enough to kill them, she likes to decapitate people for good measure. Just to know they're really dead.

Meanwhile the primary antagonist enjoys torture just a little too much and later puts together her own anti-assassin team. The members of which aren't necessarily what one would call 'sane'.

- This dude with a big-ass flamethrower and creepy mask? He's the friendly one.

And then there's Fullmetal Alchemist. While this series also has plenty of gore, the dark disturbing part also comes from a heaping helping of horrific implications. Perhaps more so than any other series I've seen. I only have to say "Nina" and I'm sure that everyone who's watched the show will grimace in horror. Poor, poor Nina. :(

Even apart from the inherently gripping qualities of dark disturbing anime, I liked this series a heck of a lot. There's some really great character development in here, to the point that even characters I disliked at first (Ling) ended up being cool and contributing to the plot. And then there's Roy Mustang, who is up there with Alucard and Esdeath as far as "stupidly overpowered" goes. Gotta love the stupidly overpowered ones. The combat is great too, and it's nice to see how even the normals keep on pulling their weight even though there's what may as well be magic afoot.

One thing I will say against this series is that I don't like Edward (the main protagonist) at all. I have this a lot, usually the main character is the least interesting person to me if I don't outright hate them. I didn't like Tatsumi very much in Akame ga Kill! and I didn't like Edward here. He's just way too much of a hot-head, which is a character trait he keeps even after his heaps of character development kick in. I thought Alphonse was a much more interesting character. He's a lot more stable despite being the one with the most trauma to go through. He's also a lot more heroic than Edward is; he always seems to be sacrificing himself to save someone else. Being a living suit of armor kinda helps with that.

At the end of the day, I enjoyed both series a lot. I wouldn't call Fullmetal Alchemist the best anime ever like some people seem to do, but it's still pretty high up on the list. Akame ga Kill! wasn't as good per se, but I still found it highly enjoyable in its own right. Either way, both were nicely disturbing in their own unique ways.

As for now I'm out of things to watch, but I hear Berserk gets pretty horrifying...

- Cat girl and midriff? Best girl confirmed.

S - Part 2 of the ads for Nintendo Gamecube games, back from when we still had video game magazines. And yes, Baten Kaitos IS interesting.

A - Will Steam refunds be enough to keep Valve on the straight and narrow, or will it take more than that to prevent crap releases?

A - Mad Max: Fury Road did the post-apocalyptic setting right where the Fallout series falters.

I - You can ask Lord Spencer anything about what it's like being a new reserve recapper!

F - PC FNF + New city, new everything.

T - The new Dragon Quest game is a lot like Minecraft...and maybe that's just fine.

P - Theo & Lizzy looks and sounds like a game that's right up my alley. You can give me VVVVVV-esque gravity mechanics anyday.

T - Link Narukami is getting deep into Heroes of the Storm.

A - Jinx made pretty pictures for Steam's grid view. Go check them out!

C - I think we can all agree that we need a new Primal Rage, but the formatting in this blog needs work and it's a copy from another site.

- ShadeOfLight
May you always find water and shade



12:14 AM on 07.24.2015

Cblog Recaps of 7/22/15 and STRIDERISMS

I'm waiting for Binding of Isaac: Rebirth to download to my New 3DS right. I'm just not a true PC gamer, with access to hundreds of games on Steam and deep discounts yet I can't treat my machine (not a machine, a laptop, so that's a factor) as an actual gaming machine. I mean, yeah, it's a laptop, so it can't play a large majority of games. I did finish Steamworld Dig on Steam though, which makes my 3DS copy of it irrelevant mostly. But I have BoI on Steam but never got into it. I'm thankful to Steam for letting my relive Psychonauts, which is a Double Fine game from an era of goodwill game design, before the era of Kickstarters. But I do most of my gaming on dedicate consoles. It's just how I"m hardwired as I grew up playing consoles.

Steam is also poisoning the well when it comes to actually purchasing games. Everyone has a mentality of, "buy it when it goes on sale," now. I'm surprised indie developers make any profit in this environment. But thrive they do, I guess. But what do I know? I play Monster Hunter obsessively, unlike a lot of Dtoiders who couldn't get into it. I'm an online gamer now, and hearing people complain about a lack of local multiplayer and co-op is likewhite noise on my brain. You trudge through it and deal with it.

That's what makes Seth Killian's new game, Rising Thunder, sound appealing. A game built from the ground up to be online. Rising Thunder is a dream team of fighting game legends of the west coming together to solve many problems inherent to the design of a fighting game. Like, I scoff at people who say they can't do fireballs or other special moves? Are you kidding me? No, you aren't, because those skills are muscle memory in me now, like a basketball player throwing a pass blind or a football player running his route (thanks Eyeshield 21!). Rising Thunder blends elements of fighting games and MOBAs together to form something uniquely fighting game, while also bringing the Cannon brothers' new GGPO3 netcode to the battlefield, and I love me GGPO. Basically, any game that doesn't describe their netcode in depth is a sign that you're going to hate its online. Capcom never discussed Marvel 3's online and when we get our hands on it, we ride through peaks and valleys. Third Strike Online though, paraded the much lauded GGPO and we know how that handles and we know the online will be pretty servicable. Rising Thunder is promising a new age of netcode with GGPO3, much like how developers talk about Unreal Engine 3 and moving on to Unreal 4. And speaking of the MOBA flavorings, special moves are cross between Smash and League: one button to do a special move, three different special move buttons, no additional input needed, moves are on a cooldown to prevent spamming.

Ideally, this creates an environment where beginners from both fighting game legacies and complete scrubs can push through the initial barrier faster and get down to the real brass tacks of competitive fighting: mind games. Will he DP on wake up now? Will he throw the fireball again after this one? Is his jump in a meaty aerial or an empty jump?

This is exciting to me. I know fighting games. I love listening to Super Best Friend Cast's fighting game dissecting tangents where a lot of listeners may be sending in mail criticizing their jargon tangents. I love following talk on how viable a character is because he's good at controlling space with zoning and reversals and normals. But that doesn't mean I'm perfect with my own execution. I still get flashes of my time in SFIV vanilla when I'd go for ultra and see a DP come out instead because I rushed my execution (for Rufus, I go for Space Opera Symphony and get Snake Strike instead). Distilling gameplay to just the one-on-one mind games sounds thrilling. Like, playing any grappler is a great deal of mind games, trying to figure out patterns to get pasting zoning and mentally guard break your opponent once you get in with your own brand of pressure. But doing 360s and other inputs in the heat of the moment, a moment which is hard earned, can be daunting.

Rising Thunder is an F2P fighting game coming to Steam soon with a beta. F2P runs the gamut of serviceable to scummy, but here's hoping I can play it.

Speaking fighting games, I may be the only recapper to mention EVO (I think) but this deserves a mention.

If you want a basic rundown of what made EVO, EVO this year, this is a fairly good place to digest. I agree that KaneBlueRiver's victory at Marvel was a double pronged celebration as both a victory for players with character loyalty to low tier characters and the first Chilean to take home 1st place at EVO.  KBR's dedication and execution of such misunderstood and problematic characters (Hulk/Haggar/Sent) was a sight to behold. Gamerbee's heartbreaking loss despite Momochi's sketchy looking controller unplugging redeemed by his melancholy embrace with his fiance (rumor has it Momochi had his stick unplugged in order to snap Gamerbee out of his concentration, throwing him off despite handing him a round). And so, so many displays of arrogance and failure on several fronts, including the Guilty Gear Xrd moment which may go down as a new EVO moment to demonstrate the folly of arrogance.

BTW everyone, this is the year of waiting for localization announcements. Still waiting on Dai Gyakuten Saiban and Monster Hunter Cross localization news.

* - The story of a man, his daughter, and D&D along with Bobgoblin the half-orc

* - Understand, truly understand, the history of the videogame crash of the 80s

A - What's next for Kojima. I sure hope it's movies

A - What is it about certain games that make us want to replay them? Overlord Zetta also admits to sucking at Monster Hunter

I - Now that we have Spencer's blood, he categorizes the woe that is his blog

R - Doopy's non-doopy review of Arkham Knight

R - NOsignal reviews Journey but decides to use promo art since screenshots don't PROJECT JUSTICE

F - Mike is concerned for Bob on the controversial movie, Pixels

C - What is Fallout Shelter? It's a game. It has features. Cool.




12:52 AM on 07.22.2015

Cblogs of 7/21/15 - HLBC Rap + Mewtwo-isms


"HLBC Rap" by Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon

What up y'all?
It's your boy HLBC
Busting flows on the mic that's juicer than Hi-C, uh
Flow is so enticing
"damn he cold!" like Ice Man
Throwing haters to the atmosphere like Guts Man
It Cuts Man, leaving you gashes I know it hurt man
Popping metaphorical lemons into your dome man
You trash man
Better watch yourself you being brash man
I'll bust a Hard Knuckle to your jaw like I box man
I'm Top Man
Round the world they call me Rock Man
Defibrillating the rap game, leave em' in Shock Man

Switching my flow cause I'm a genius like Wily
Slyly, crafting evil bars that are so vilely
Marvelous, miraculous
Some even say blasphemous
Make you practice abstinence
From the rap game
You that lame
Your flow's tame with no aim and all shame you should blame
Yourself, your bars are bottom shelf alcohol
While I'm off to the skies like Mary Poppin's parasol

A journeyman rapper but I spit it like a legend
My flow's a deadly weapon
So let this be a lesson
For all my doubters and challengers,
let it be known
That my flow is universal like Rosetta Stone
I'm a monster that's hungry and always on the prowl
My shit is so nasty I'll leave you with a scowl
On your face
You're full of disgrace,
I can see
That you lack the necessary skills to go against me
Cause I'm an original
So cease and desist
Professor HLBC's done
Class is dismissed

Best "isms" intro ever? You bet your sweet ass it is. I'm a rap connoisseur after all! Anyway, hola everyone! It feels great to finally throw my hat in the ring and put my writing skills to use as a reservist recapper. Introductions, am I right? I’d love to gush more about how excited I am, but I have an opening shift tomorrow morning, so let me get to my “isms” for the night. Handsome men need their sleep; especially when your current job is in sales.

You came to the wrong neighbourhood motherf***er.

Roy was my boy for a while in Smash when he was first released, but for some reason I fell back in love with Mewtwo again. Maybe it’s his badass attitude. Maybe it’s his high-risk/high-reward playstyle that makes me reminisce of Akuma from the days of Third Strike. Maybe it’s his absolutely catastrophic moveset. I don’t know. Sure, he’s a glass cannon in every sense of the word, but good GOD the things you can do with that genetically modified monster! His fully charged Shadow Ball DECIMATES shields, applies pressure, and is my go-to punisher for any opponent who is foolish enough to be too predictable. One of my favorite things to do is grab an opponent and perform a down throw followed by a fully charged Shadow Ball IF the opponent doesn’t change their trajectory and I catch that reaction in time. Or follow up a side-b Confusion with a down-smash or a fully charged Shadow Ball for kicks! Man, I may be an amateur compared to most people, but I love Smash. It’s fun for what it is.



* - James is tired of fetch quests, and quite frankly, I am too. Discover what ambivilance really means.

* - DmC has more angst than a thousand Cloud Strifes at a "Smells Like Teen Spirit" concert.

* - Gameboy SP's are dope. So is this blog.

I - Megaman Legends was a great frikkin game. This intro isn't too shabby either. Stop by and say "what it do" to LapisLovesLawrence!

T - Voltech's an intelligent guy, so check out his musings about intelligent design in gaming. He also offers a very interesting perspective I haven't heard before. And yeah, 2014 sucked.

T - TheKodu suggests that Rocksteady's next major IP should be The Green Hornet. Personally, I thought the movie was pretty bad, but that doesn't mean the IP itself isn't. I wouldn't mind a high-speed car chases with guns and missles attached.

R - rrrrrrrrrRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIDGE RA- *ahem* Here's n0signal's interesting retrospective on The Witcher "Enchanced" Edition. I feel like they should be calling viagrified boners that. Yennefer is best girl.

M - Alpha is at it again. And let me tell you, there is nothing Fractured about Alpha's new album. Seriously, it's really good. Go check it out, LIKE NOW!!!!

A - Arcades are few and far between these days, but that doesn't stop ashamasha from showing his love for the quarter sucking machines. "Quarter Sucking Machines" is the name of my avant-garde mathcore porno bachata band.

C - I see potential here, but many of the concerns over Federation Force have already been said. Give me something a little different and longer, por favor?

C - I'm not a big fan of copypasta blogs, but this one isn't bad. JRPG's are definitely on the rise, but I wish this blog would expand upon that a little more.

F - Four sentences and a picture is a forum post, not a blog.





1:47 PM on 07.21.2015

Cblogs of 7/19/15 - New Occupants In The Reservist Shed


So, after some re-enactment of ancient rituals spoken in a tongue no one really understands with the incomprehensible words replaced with various dick jokes (thanks Dreamweaver, your legacy exists in the Reservist Shed); we have come to a conclusion of who to bring to the Reservist Shed. Lord Spencer and Hyper Lemon Buster Canon have been initiated through the winding daunting path from the Recap House to the end of the garden. A third name had been drawn and we tried to contact them. However, again the Royal Mail went on strike and I guess the letter has been delayed. To anyone else who applied, don't worry as we'll keep you in mind if a space is freed up.

As Lord Spencer and Hyper Lemon Buster Canon arrived at the wooden home-away-from-home, we quickly realised that there wasn't enough beds. In fact, there were no extra beds as the unused ones were broken to make a pig-pen (y'know, for the monkey-jockeying pig-racing gambling, you have to do SOMETHING on a Friday night).

That was when a note appeared. No one had noticed it before on our cork board, but the typewriter font hinted it was from the house. We had first figured it was a recap that needed doing, and thus the homemade ouija board was brought out (with our own...Adjustments). On closer inspection though, with a tone from a stern traditionalist mother to her improper child, it was a promotion letter. Nanashi and I was to make our way to the house, sign in blood an NDA (I had heard rumours but didn't believe it until after I had signed, as the pen had a needle that drew blood as it wrote without the user noticing) and then do weekly recaps.


Although considering my time at The Reservist Shed, I was remarkably unphased by this process and the deception around it.


Well, I'd like to talk more about the moving in, but, well, blood oath and all that. Just, now Nanashi will be covering Fridays and I'll be doing Sunday. Anyway, let's change the topic.

One aspect of games I'm constantly surprised again and again is done in a lazy manner is comedy. From all our experience with games, films, books, TV shows, theatre, stand-up and even our daily lives, I really believe we should know the difficulties of stirring a laughter or even a smirk on the lips of others. That even if the joke is sound and perfect, if the delivery or timing is even a slightest bit off it could lead to people just sighing heavily. I think it is also a genre without a safety net (possibly the only genre without a safety net), as even failings at other genres (e.g. drama) could lead to some comedy reapings (e.g. even though Tommy Wiseau's The Room fails spectacularly as a drama, it unintentionally succeeds as a comedy due the problems that plague it).

When I speak of comedy in games, I more consider games that have a constant stream of jokes. They wouldn't have an odd rare joke where if it falls flat then its no bother (unless if it is a particularly offensive joke, although I think that goes without saying), but rather about once every ten to twenty minutes it'll chime in with a joke. It is these games that I'm always flabbergasted at the humour they provide, as they tend towards what feels like one of the laziest forms of comedy around today: Referential humour.

In the latest game I'm reviewing (which I'll leave unnamed) for a website, in one dungeon I was in awe that they made both a Monty Python and an arrow-to-the-knee reference. I also soon later noticed an eerily familiar phrase, and realised it was an Indiana Jones reference. It also happened when I had to deal with The Incredible Adventures Of Van Helsing 3. It managed to bravely avoid just making reference to jokes, but instead tried its hand at subversion in the bluntest way possible. Like a village tradition including a bandit always ransacking their caravan, and being asked to clear out the normal bandit spot. To a lesser degree was the first Borderlands game, where sometimes weird references would be littered.


Which, to be fair, if your reference is a joke that was better done over ten years ago by Jim Carrey... Perhaps you should pick a better reference...


It just strikes me as odd that a game will not just use the rare joke or quip to lighten a mood, but will constantly do humour without trying to put the effort in or getting professional comedy writers to help out. As the weird jokes from before not only didn't click, but made the game noticeably worse for not clicking due to the quantity of said humour.

So it is a let down that I now have to dislike a game a lot more due to a failed attempted at humour; as I do cherish games that try to push the boundries and try things out just because they can. I'm just really sick of games relying on references to carry the joke. I'm even more so sick of games struggling to decide if they want rare quips or a full-on comedy game and then deciding instead to go with a middle ground where people have to put up with a large collection of awkward jokes (written by those somewhat unfamiliar with comical writing) through-out the adventure.

Especially as these are done in that smarmy arrogant tone you'd normally find in Youtube comments arguments about genres of music. The arguments where the punchline is “who sodding cares? Why does this matter in the great scheme of things, or even in the small scheme of minute things?!”. I'm just so fucking sick of developers scattering half-baked humour in games like littering fucking toxic waste in developing countries.


Okay, that was a bit much at the end. I'm really sorry.


Anyway, cool... Calm... I believe that got a bit more ranty towards the end than I hoped, so I better get into the recaps.



* - Fire Emblem: Awakening's Support system is insanely addictive, as OverlordZetta found out the hard way. I recall being swooped into its warm embrace, starting as a simple half-joke half-genuinely wanting to make Robin (or as I called him, Cock-Robin (gold star to who gets the odd reference)) date Lucina. Imagining Cock-Robin explain to Chrom “uh, by the way, I'm breaking the timeline by dating your daughter” made me smirk. Although it snowballed from there, and soon the game for me was doing match-making. Damn you Awakening... Damn you...



S – Dreamweaver has released the weekly Comments Of The Week! Quick! Go see if you were funny enough to make it to this week's!

B – TheGentleGamer ponders about Final Fantasy VI, and the many parts of it that leaves them in absolute awe of the final form. Such as the bold move to not have a main protagonist, but rather instead allowing the game to focus on everyone you find as you go along. That it isn't just a tale of saving the world, but also of characters learning to live with the world, to over-come past grievances and to still live on despite all the hardships.

A – Assassin's Creed appears to be in this awkward rut where they've some how made sci-fi dull. Kooram shares his frustrations with the series and, in particular, how the only thing Animus manages to correctly simulate is some form of Hell.

S – RadicalYoseph, temporarily exacerbatingly called “Fine I changed my name”, charts out some more music for your delicious ears.



Get it? Because it was in Skyrim and then the internet popularised it and then... Aahh.. Nevermind... You don't get it... Nevermind, contest over then.



S – Did you hear about when someone made a game in RPG Maker called Destructoid Story R? The one unsurprisingly about Destructoid users? Well, Fevoki has managed to do a Let's Play through it.

D – StriderHoang contemplates having so many roles in his life right now, as well as the recent Monthly Musing topic and his work at Disneyland. Just remember: The suggestion box for front page is always open.



T – TuxedoKnight got asked recently if they prefer PSN or X-Box Live Gold. After some pondering, they arrived at an answer and the reasons behind it.

T – Mike Wallace loves Earthbound, and is able to sum up the core reason of why it is the Mother game that means the most to him in three simple words.

R – Android games are an area somewhat under-reviewed formally due to how often they are released, so it is good to see Capitan is reviewing Fantasica on the Android.

P – TheKodu talks a bit about Raging Justice which looks to be getting a release on X-Box One and Steam soon. I admit the graphics remind me of those cheesy fighting games you'll see in arcade shots in 80s or 90s films like Terminator when they want to show an overly-realistic game a 16 year old with a backwards baseball cap would play. The type where you expect the next scene to be ollie-ing over a security guard while sharing rad puns and sick burns. Maybe it is just me?

R – Hey! Got a Game Boy still about that still works?! Lea wants you to pick up Battle Bull because it is “totally tits”.

T – General Mills44 is cracking through their back-log, and just got to Resident Evil 4 on the Wii. It ends in crippled controls rendering it unplayable.

T – Should you get God Of War III: Remastered? Agent Prince thinks so and has five reasons why.



Remember the good comedy games? Oh, how they've intertwined themselves into gaming culture... 



Let's just enjoy some other kind of comedy.





- Riobux





6:24 AM on 07.19.2015

Cblogs of 7/18/15 - Too much feels for me last week


Well, I've been through quite the emotional trip last week.

I missed out on watching [i]Girl Meets World[/i] for a while, but I'm so glad I caught the last two episodes because "Girl Meets Hurricane" brought back two major characters from the original [i]Boy Meets World[/i] series. Angela, Shawn's girlfriend from the original series, made a return in a pretty "out of the left field" moment that feels a bit too sudden, but I won't object seeing her again. Previously, I said I disliked what they did with her character since she left Shawn between the two shows, and when she said she was married when she came back, I felt my heart sink a bit. However, the writers somehow managed to make me okay with Angela's decision, but also kind of given her my blessing. The quick gist is that even though she wasn't ready to be married when she was with Shawn, she used their relationship together to help springboard her new relationship, and she suggests that he does the same with his potential new love interest. D'aw.

What's even neato is that Shawn's father came back for another cameo. In the original series, Shawn's father died from a heart attack, but his ghost comes back every once in a while to provide some kind of guidance. A bit hokey for a otherwise realistic show, but it's a nice emotional angle that works. I wouldn't have guessed that he would appear so soon, so I kind of wish this episode didn't telegraph it right before he showed up: see, they hinted at the possibility when Angela told Shawn her dad died, and that he "doesn't show up" when he's needed for "important decisions" like Shawn's father do. When Riley told Shawn that the decision to ask out Maya's mom was an "important decision," I felt like it was too "on-the-nose": if we see Shawn's dad, then we know Shawn considers this to be an important decision. Then again, it IS a kid's show... but at the same time, it's surprisingly emotional for a live-action show that airs on Disney Channel.


Honestly, when [i]Girl Meets World's[/i] "Girl Meets Mr. Squirrels Goes to Washington," I am not ashamed to say I almost teared up. First of all, I came in very skeptical about the episode because it felt too out there: Cory's goofy brother was running for mayor? Even if he was only in the running to lose, I still felt like it was a little unbelievable. However, Cory's history lesson involving the first televised debate between Nixon and JFK (I learned something?) was pretty on-point, proving that the underdogs could win. Then another worrying aspect of the episode were Eric's forced antics: whereas they were executed near-flawlessly in his initial appearance, they felt more shoehorned for this episode, and I keep getting the impression that the actor himself, Will Friedle, knows that. However, it was pretty cool for them to have him meet his reformed bully face-to-face in a pretty funny exchange, and seeing him with a big bowl of Cocoa Puff was a really obscure reference that was lovely and goofy.

The biggest part of this episode was the reveal. When Eric was in need of a campaign manager, someone named T.J. Murphy offered his assistance. At first, it seems like he was doing it because he hated the other guy, but during the debate, he showed off his true identity at a nice time. When Eric was faced with a criticism that, if he never had kids of his own, that he has no idea how to run the country for the kids, T.J. revealed that his full first name was Thomas Jonathon, whom Eric used to call "Tommy." Back in the original series, Eric became a "big brother" to him when he was an orphan, and although Eric really wanted to adopt him, he didn't realize it wasn't practical until the adoption agency broke the rules by allowing him to see the file of another family that would've adopted Tommy. Knowing that Tommy would be better with them, Eric gave up Tommy in an emotional scene, and seeing Tommy again brought tears to my eyes. The flashback montage was icing on the sad cake.


I know it's weird, but I develop an attachment to lot of waifus for plenty of TV shows, and [i]Steven Universe[/i] is no exception. Pearl has always captured by my heart: even though she is so totally a lesbian (*heart breaks*), I love everything about her like her personality, her know-it-all attitude, her passionate side... all of it. She also feels damaged, which makes me just want to hug the hell out of her. The episode that made me realize I had feelings for her was "Space Race," when she was depressed for not being able to travel to other planets since the warp pads on Earth is disabled. However, seeing her snarky skepticism when Steven showed her his mock spaceship turn into a passionate desire to reach the stars when she realizes it might be possible to build an actual spaceship was adorable.

She does build a working spaceship, but it wasn't perfect, so it started breaking apart while trying to get through Earth's gravity. Steven, who was with her, warned that they weren't going to make it... and seeing the longing, almost desperate look in her eyes as she stares at the stars is one of the most emotionally poigant moment I've seen from a cartoon (so not an anime like[i]Clannad[/i], which is too full of feels). I seriously tear up everything I watch it, which was last week.

Yeah, last week was so full of feels that I felt emotionally drained almost every day. The good part was that [i]Steven Universe[/i] "introduced" a new character (if any other episodes are of any indication, we'll probably never see her again) called Sardonyx who jumps straight up to my list of favorite characters in that show despite her two minute appearance. She's this upbeat, enthusiatically theatrical comedian that has a lovely manner of speaking, and I would love to hang out with a girl like her in my life. Just check out of her entire spotlight with the clip blow; words can't do her justice.


[url=][b]* -[/b] SigfriedLion lends his account to his pal Firebrand who wants to talk about his own ideas of what a card battle-based game of [i]Touhou[/i] would be like, complete with their own mockups and set of rules! There's a lot of details put into this so check it out![/url]

[url=][b]* -[/b] Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon knows that everyone has a couple of habits that they just can;t help but do in videogames such as jumping through the boss door in [i]Mega Man[/i]. What's yours?[/url]


[url=][b]A -[/b] I won't go into my feelings about emulators, but Esteban Sky Cuevas thinks they're nifty because they were the reason he took a chance with several videogame series that he ends up loving.[/url]

[url=][b]A -[/b] TheKodu takes the time to explain why the idea of "nerdcore porn" being such a bad thing is a laughable stance on the matter, saying that it's not just the ladies who gets sexualized.[/url]

[url=][b]A -[/b] Forgotten Bastion hasn't forgotten about how bad [i]Dishonored[/i] made him feel for being a ruthless killer, and how some games could stand to do the concept of mortality better than keeping it black-and-white.[/url]




[url=][b]T -[/b] Maybe it's because I agree with the fella, but Manchild successfully defends the upcoming "controversial" videogame [i]The Flock[/i] by likening it more to an experimental experience rather than a quick cash grab.[/url]



[url=][b]? -[/b] Jed Whitaker stops by the Cblogs to talk a little bit about Gearbox's Randy Pitchford, a little something about his open sexuality, and some chick who can't decide what race she wants to be.[/url]

[url=][b]C -[/b] Kirby-Sonicfan is new to the community, but I think a lot more could've been said about themselves.[/url]


[b]- Dreamweaver[/b]



5:41 PM on 07.18.2015

Cblogs of 7-17-15 + Promoted Nana-isms and some other stuff


As your new Friday Recapper there should be one thing that gets across ... I think differently than most of the people on this website (at least it seems) I certainly feel that way in comments or wherever. It almost feels like I am some sort of extreme-minded outsider and that's how a lot of folk view me here nowadays. But the best thing is that it doesn't matter. Yet another absolute greatest feature of the cblog recaps is that discretion for each blog and how it gets categorized; what 'passes'/'fails'; is left entirely up to each recapper. It leaves a lot of room for varied opinions and beliefs and literally whatever else. A fail to one recapper might be a Topsauce to another because we're all a team operating under the same guidelines but we have the freedom to categorize blogs and speak our minds (like I'm doing now). The Cblog Recaps team is like in the intro to every Assassin's Creed game how they tell you that the game was developed by a group of diverse minded individuals - except we have more than eyeballs and hair on our faces. I think the team exemplifies that, we have all sorts of folk from all walks of life bringing together community blogs. We just had the departure of a Wrestler/Priest Recapper for crying out loud, but more on that in a second. So it's just something I wanted to point out as I'll probably be occupying this position for awhile. You will all have to get comfortable with me, my work, my views and my writing because it might be just a little bit different, Friday's from here on out will be an altered perspective if you will. What's the FMJ quote? "You will not like me, But I am fair". A well written blog that follows all the rules will never be failed for its broader content matter, I can assure you of that.

That also extends to the categories for each type of blog (Ie. under Wordtoid, "Article", "Series" and so forth) these fall under the discretion of the recapper as well and I've already voiced my opinion to the other recappers on what I'd like to see change about the categories. I don't think recappers get held up to a degree on what sub-category they file a cblog under but rather the bigger categories, mostly topsauce or fail, which is good seeing as a lot of the time a cblog can qualify as several different ones. Ideally I think we should consolidate them all together instead of "only wordtoid" has such and such available because sometimes I feel that a "podcast" might be better suited if I put it under "Othertoid" or "Community" for example. But this is something to be taken up with later, right now seeing as people don't pay so much attention to the sub-categories as they do to what gets topsauced or failtoided this isn't a priority issue as the cblog recaps team is doing about a thousand other things that need attention at all times. Maybe we'll do it my way once, or we can choose whatever. I think if I put a "podcast" blog under "Community" every now and again no one will give me too much flak for it. :)

So it was really the latest of "community shocks" for me to see that Dustin will (not 100% but still leaving) be leaving Dtoid including his position as Friday recapper. What can I say but how we've just sorta lost one of the coolest members of this community. Whether it was interacting online through our podcasts and in the cblogs or comments sections of Destructoid or meeting him in person, Dustin was an all around cool guy and someone I consider a good friend. I certainly doubt this'll be the last of our interactions. And I will keep listening to his podcast and asking questions when I come up with some. Best of luck bud!

Before I take over friday duty I also wanted to add that with the departure of Dustin I'm not clear on if he will keep posting cblogs here announcing new episodes, or in other words the ones that would get collected as part of my cblog recap side project, Podgasms. That being the case, we would be looking at a very empty palette of upcoming community podcasts. Dustin's EM podcast was the most active one and usually comprised half of those recaps. I think this more than justifies a brand new call for podcasters. Destructoid has a bustling community and several podcasts that have come out of it. If you look back (what now feels like a graveyard) the forums have a collection of links to dozens of come and gone destructoid community podcasts. I mean there's some stuff in there that I and probably you never knew happened. If there's someone you like here on Dtoid there's a good a chance as any that that person did a community podcast. For instance, before Spencer was with Phil & Spencer's Gentleman's Club that was big on the streaming side of dtoid and they became huge Destructoid celebrities Spencer did the Communicast. I never got around to listening to it but it's amazing to see that. In fact it is very reassuring that they came out of the community rather than nowhere. It shows that there is some sort of upwards mobility at Dtoid (or at least was seeing as Spencer on this site is all history now). But I digress; I'm not just asking for myself but this is honest to god one of the coolest things about this community, it's fleet of unique home grown podcasts. If ever you felt the need to talk on the internet at great lengths now could be the time. Your community needs YOU! If anyone is interested you can hit me up for advice on starting and keeping your podcast going. It would be great to see more of them. I have amassed a little bit of basic knowledge on the subject and would be more than happy to help others get started. Currently we have two staff podcasts, a handful of active community podcasts and several community podcasts that are vaguely on hiatus/record every now and again. We should change that, together.

With all of that out of the way I look forward to being your Friday recapper and all the good stuff that will come with that. Hopefully you will all learn to like me and my contributions here but if not be sure to yell really loudly at me why you feel otherwise!

Theme for this week will be literature/books seeing as I've just today decided to go back to college to get my MFA in writing. Hopefully I can muster up the energy and resources and skill to make a good few dozen pages of writing samples! Also it's a fun challenge now to see what I come up with to name eight different writer's that inspire/inspired me and to write something about each one.


(My favorite writer looking stallion af)

[url=][b]*[/b] - Then he should just make an abstract game about exploding tits :) Manipulate what's perceived popularly as a "good" game, mask something like LSD: A Dream Sim as a new Call of Duty Game. Take your players for a ride like Spec Ops did.[/url]

[url=][b]*[/b] - I really enjoyed how much detail you get in this blog it's like a basket of fruit with an assortment of different flavors and things to enjoy. Personally I'm not following any patterns based on time right now. But maybe that'll change now that I've read this blog![/url]


(Huxley who I admittedly should read more of/know little about and have chosen the least flattering picture of his. He looks like a maniac at worst and the Medic/some Dishonored characters at best. Also he apparently took 30 doses of LSD on his deathbed right before he died. What a psychotic way to go huh?)

[url=][b]A[/b] - OverlordZetta needs your help! His Vita done broke and he doesn't know how to fix it. I would recommend changing the date back a couple of years manually. That worked for my R4 once. Oh well I tried :([/url]

[url=][b]A[/b] - James Internet Ego talkes snobbery and explains the Unity (Engine, not Assassin's Creed [i]Unity[/i]) Image problem.[/url]

[url=][b]A[/b] - Am I the only one that feels butthurt he didn't shoutout to Destructoid at the end? Lol. You're a good writer and I love Evo too and I know you're copying these blogs from elsewhere but it's a [i]little[/i] off-putting, your last paragraph that is. Oh well have fun at your Evo viewing party I hope you actually have an interest in this community because it would be cool to have sorta fellow VF'er to talk to round here.[/url]

[url=][b]A[/b] - Maybe what RP means is that he lost $10 on ACM because he never spent that money on ACM but on Borderlands, maybe his brain worked that into a technicality money that was supposed to be used for ACM is gone so yeah he "lost his money on ACM". Personally I don't trust his word but think we should wait for all the facts to come out.[/url]


(Yet another writer I know but need to know more of Capote is famous for a lot of different reasons and a great writer I often think about)


(H.G. Wells, who I now know looked a little like Mr. Belvedere, was a great and important writer, of special importance for the Sci-Fi genre. I just now finished his classic War of the Worlds and it was brilliant and I want to get more of his work into my life.)

 [url=][b]F[/b] - Playstation Friday Night Fights![/url] (a thing you should totally join if you have a PS console :D )


(This man has been recommended to me all throughout college, must start reading his work.)

[url=][b]R[/b] - Esteban Sky Cuevas brings us a review of the OG Metroid.[/url]


(Important American Playwright and Jack Nelson look-a-like, Tenessee Williams.)

[url=][b]A[/b] - CO Jakyl shows us his art and a cool tool to make pixel art with.[/url]


(A man who should've been top 3 but IMGUR failed on me YET AGAIN IMGUR DAMNIT Anyway. Orwell is of absolute importance on this list, 1984 is my favorite book of all time and I often think abotu it and how Orwell, if her were alive today, would probably be shitting himself 24/7 seriously all the insanity that goes on today, invasion of privacy, government overstepping and so on he must be rolling in his grave so hard he's dug down 20 feet deeper.)


(Say what you will about this man or TWD but he has undoubtedly had a massive impact on writing and comics and if it wasn't for him we might not be numb to the concept of "zombies" in media ... okay that point is actually a strike against him haha I can't help but think of Kirkman as an achievement for writers everywhere to aspire to.)

[url=][b]F[/b] - money, hoes, cars and clothes, thats how all my podcasts roll blowing dro on 24's,  thats how all my podcasts roll[/url]




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