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Cblog Recaps

Schedule:

Mondays - Luna Sy
Tuesdays - Script
Wednesdays - StriderHoang
Thursdays - ShadeOfLight
Fridays - TheDustinThomas
Saturdays - Dreamweaver
Sundays - Pixielated

Reserve Recappers:

Nanashi
Nihil
GlowBear
Scissors
PhilKenSebben
Crackity Jones
Macmanus
smurfee mcgee

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Tigger warning: This recap contains images of characters from Winnie The Pooh and tigers with heads made of rubber, bottoms made out of spring.

I had something I was going to say here, but given it ended up being long, rather personal and not terribly fun, I decided to set it aside for my own personal blog in the interest of  getting this recap up with no further delay. It just didn’t fit the spirit of the recaps.

It also sounded grumpy and wasn’t sending the entirely right message, so I pulled it.

OMG CENSORSHIP!

Anyway, I have that and a new "Agenda" planned, but for now I must get back to work. Enjoy the recaps!

* - Dreamweaver brings more Comments of the Week.

* - Fenriff   writes a beginner's guide to the Souls series.

* - The best blogs of March 2015! So much topsauce it will bury you.

* - Cblog Analytics from March, too! Be buried in numbers.

M - n0signal wants more From Software remasters.

M - Literary criticism vs. video games vs. rabbits vs. Bloodborne

M - ashamasha  talks about the Tower of Latria.

 

R - TheKodu  reviews Jazzpunk and thinks it's kind of okay.

V - Forgotten Bastion recommends this CoD video.

L - Luckrequired celebrates Easter by making art with eggs in Leon S. Kennedy's inventory.

F - Easter began with a fail

S - This one needs more meat. You have cows on that farm, right?

F - Easter sadly ended with a fail, too.

FPotD

 









Click here for last month's analytics

And so another month of blogging has passed. I gotta say, as my first time doing it, creating last month's entry ended up being a rather tedious and time consuming task, to no one's surprise. Opening the Excel file every other day. Inputting new data from the day(s) that just ended. Rechecking the previous days for errors and updates. Miscounting because someone posted a new blog when you refreshed the page in the middle of recording. Feeling depressed when you realize that your brain lapses in some occasions and skips the number 15 while counting… And that this is a problem you've had ever since you were a child…

...analytics! So this month, I've decided to only work on these once a week now. It sure helped alleviate some of the stress brought in by the previous way of doing things. As always, I'm all ears for anyone who can think of a much better way of doing this.

A total of 335 blogs were posted this month!
At the time this post went up, of those blogs have been promoted to the front page!
- That's less than last month's 341 blogs & 16 promoted blogs (current record highest).
- 1 blog from January and 3 from February were also promoted during this month.

(Consult the monthly recaps for the list of promoted blogs: The Dtoid community's best blogs of March 2015!)

The Cblog Recap team was able to post 33 recaps this month!
- Includes Monthly recap, Analytics and Podgasms.
- Recaps, along with this very blog post are not included in the total number of blogs and all the other stats that follow.

- For curiosity's sake, the 28 recaps have accumulated a total of 491 comments and 453 faps.

139 unique members posted a blog this month!
- That's 3 more than last month's 136.
- This year's current record is 149 (January).

Among those members, may we congratulate TheDustinThomas for posting the most number of blogs at 14 blogs!
- New highest for the year.
- That's 3 more than Mr. Hoffman's (currently RH666) total of 11 last month.

Other top bloggers of this month (as determined solely by post count):

10 - Charlietime
10 - Titannel
8 - RH666
8 - ShadeOfLight
6 - Chist
6 - It's About To Get Gay In Here
6 - Johnny Burnes
6 - SeymourDuncan17

There were 3 monthly musings or any community assignments of any sort for the month of February. This month, we had 2 monthly musings topics, prompting 13 blogs to be written!

Hello Hyrule! Majora's March  - 7
Destructoid's 9th Anniversary: 9 Dtoiders - 6 (plus 6 forum posts)

(Consult the monthly recaps for the list of monthly musings blogs: The Dtoid community's best blogs of March 2015!)

Note: I shall display stats that both include and exclude the promoted blogs, with the latter being the "default". For the former, the promoted blogs will be documented as part of the day it was originally published.

The most blogged day was Tuesday the 20th, with 17 blogs!
- 5 less than last month's 22 (current record highest).

The least blogged days were Thursday the 30th, with 5 blogs :[
- 1 less than last month's 6.
- New lowest for the year.

On average, there were about 10 blogs a day!
- 1 less than last month's 11 (12 if you count promoted blogs)(current record highest).


(Move your mouse over the image to view last month's chart!)

First post of the month: Cblog Recaps POGASMS: February 2015

Last post of the month: The worst thing about censorship is ███████ - 041 - Coca-Cola

A total of 4813 comments were posted on the Cblogs this month!
- 5527 if you count promoted blogs.
- Lower than last month's 5697|6838 (current record highest).

The most commented day was Tuesday the 3rd, with 303 comments!
- Lower than last month's 479 (current record highest).

The least commented day was Tuesday the 24th, with 57 comments :[
- Higher than last month's 40 (current record lowest).

On average, there were about 155 comments a day!
- 178 if you count promoted blogs.
- Lower than last month's 203|244 (current record highest).

19 blogs received no comments :[
- 4 more than last month.
- New highest of the year.

The most commented blog was Dtoid's 9th: My 109 French Girls by Roberto Plankton, with 130 comments!
- Lower than last month's 137 (current record highest).


(Move your mouse over the image to view last month's chart!)

In total, the Dtoid community fapped 2807 times!
- 2962 if you count promoted blogs.
- Lower than last month's 2089|3212 (current record highest).

The most fapped day was Tuesday the 3rd, with 157 faps!
- Lower than last month's 204 (current record highest).

The least fapped day was Tuesday the 10th, with 34 faps :[
- Higher than last month's 25 (current record lowest).

On average, there were about 90 faps a day!
- 95 if you count promoted blogs.
- Lower than last month's 100|114* (current record highest).
*I erroneously wrote 140 on the last post.

22 blogs went through the month fap-free :[
- 4 more than last month.
- New highest of the year.

The sluttiest blog was Dtoid's 9th: My 109 French Girls by Roberto Plankton, with 58 faps!
- Higher than last month's 52 (recorded then at 50).
- Current record highest is January at 72.

34 blogs (including promoted ones) received at least 20 faps this month!
- Lower than last month's 51 (current record highest).

Other most fapped blogs of this month:

Note: In the interest of saving on space, we're only listing down the top 13 most fapped blogs (should be 10 or some other round number, but there are ties) We'll change the criteria on what is shown here according to what's appropriate for that month. Commentoid, Monthly recaps, Analytics and other community "features" not included.

47 - 9 Dtoiders I'd Like To F**k
46 - Occam Thoughts: 9
43 - Career Interview with Phil Ken Sebben of Sebben & Sebben
28 - Career Interview with a Literal Shield
27 - Termina Destroyed in Daylight Saving Mishap
26 - You've once again stepped into the world of fuckin' nerds
26 - The Shit Box volume 2: Never Belieb Never
25 - New Opportunities Thanks to Old Friends.
25 - Destructoid Announces Bible Burning Game Jam
25 - Cold William and the Nifty Nine +1
*23 - Do not spend your tax refund at GameStop
23 - A Masterclass in Art: The Legend of Roberto Plankton
23 - Sick & Tired of Being Sick & Tired.

*Promoted


(Move your mouse over the image to view last month's chart!)

Note: Keep in mind the the tally for the number of comments and faps may not be 100% accurate. The data for each day are recorded every weekend (Saturday or Sunday) and only once all the blogs for a given day are pushed to the next page (which usually takes about 2 - 3 days). Naturally, when a blog is very popular or gets promoted, it may continue to gain additional comments and faps after theirs have been recorded. I do try to check back on the data recorded on the previous week to make sure it's as accurate as possible.
___________________________________________________________________________________

This month did not enjoy the same level of activity we had in the previous month. Though the final blog count is close to equal, February had three less days than March, making the daily average smaller. Lower scores all across the board. With that said, when blogging activity is concerned, I'd say March was… so-so!

Always do take note that the actual quality of the blogs posted this month are an entirely different subject matter, and that the data displayed here cannot and should not be used to measure that.

Regardless, here's hoping this April will be much better for the Cblogs, and the entire community as well. But don't just hope. Be better ♪


これはこれであり | kounog [pixiv]

- Luna Sy

Photo Photo Photo









First, I want to talk about the Season 5 finale of AMC's The Walking Dead, which means major spoilers for TV show and comics. When the opening scene showed Morgan, I almost squealed with delight at his mere appearance, and it was much more tempting when Morgan kicked two people's ass with a bo staff. For context, Morgan is a character that only appeared in two episodes prior to Season 5, acting almost like a cameo character. However, starting with the Season 5 premiere, we saw a glimpse of Morgan who left his "safe haven" behind to travel on a journey. For a couple of episodes after that, he's not mentioned again... until he finds a church Rick's group was holed up in, and finds a clue to Rick's whereabouts in the form of a map. He was the one to save Rick's life in the first episode, and inform him of the zombie apocalypse years ago, so he's surprised to know he's still alive. And now, after saving Daryl and Aaron on a run gone bad, he asks Daryl if he knows where on the map they are since he got lost... and Daryl takes him to Alexandria Safe-Zone to meet Rick.

Rick, on the other hand, is being judged by the community for what he did last week, and it was pretty cool to see this entire arc play out. Rick plans to appeal the decision... but also plans a coup d'etat should things not go his way. "Unfortunately", as cool as that would've been, Rick doesn't actually stand trial because, after seeing that the gate has been left open, he follows a trail of blood to find that Walkers have gotten inside. The scenes then constantly cut between testimonies vouching for Rick and Rick trying to kill Walkers, and for one particular Walker, he actually shoved a gun in its neck, pushed it up to its brain, then shot it dead in one of the more cooler kills of the show. It evokes feelings of the "Baptism" scene in The Godfather, which was awesome. Anyway, after Rick finally shows up at the trial with a bloody face and a dead Walker, he gives an awesome speech about how they need to adapt to survive, with my favorite line "How many of you do I need to kill, in order to save your lives?"

The coolest part of all this? Pete, the drunk Rick got into a fight with, came in with a blade to kill Rick, and Deanna's husband dies in a struggle to stop him when Pete accidentally slashes his neck open pushing him off. For context, Deanna recently lost her son on a run gone bad, and when Rick told her that he needs to kill Pete after finding out that he's beating his wife and son, Deanna refused on the account that they don't kill people. Rick, however, tells her that people WILL die, and that a leader can determine who does and when... or it can be decided for you. Previously, Deanna didn't listen, because after losing her son, she tells him that "it was already decided". Now that Deanna's husband is dead, Deanna coldly turns to Rick and says "do it", and without a moment's hesitation, turns around and executes Pete... just in time to reunite with Morgan, who is horrified.

Even more horrifying is how brutal the next group of enemies are: the Hunters. While people are anxiously awaiting Negan and the Saviors, which is the antagonist for this big comic event called "All Out War", the Hunters kill people without much discrimination. While I don't think they're as bad as the cannabalistic Termites, whom slaughtered people, drained their blood, and smoked the meat with an almost casual demeanor (they were light-hearted while slashing people's throats), the Hunter sets Walker traps and purposely avoid destroying your brain so that they can add you into their group. And now they know where Alexandria Safe-Zone is (or at least its existence). While fans are disappointed that there's no major event such as a big character's death, I thought this was a great way to end a season, in my opinion.

Speaking of deaths, last week's Justified had my jaw open for one very powerful scene (major spoilers inbound). Two characters, Wynn Duffy and "Mikey", have been allies for the longest time, but after finding out that Wynn was a snitch for the cops, Mikey knocks him out and cuffs him to a table. Furthermore, he calls up the person looking for the snitch and reveals who it is. This soured my opinion of Mikey, who seems like a lovable lug of a bodyguard instead of the gruff stereotype ("you look a-plexed"), but the resulting scene totally made up for it. When the person wanting to execute Wynn arrives and gives a speech about how she needs to avenge her husband's death, Mikey has a change of heart: instead of leaving Wynn to die, he asks her to consider merely letting him go to fend for himself in the criminal world, obviously with him by Wynn's side. The woman declines and, annoyed by his proposal, shoots him... but Mikey doesn't go down easily, and even after being shot through the torso, manages to kill the woman.

Everything about this scene was just amazing: the classical music playing in the background was hauntingly beautiful, and the camera cuts were well chosen, especially when Wynn, hiding under a table, sees Mikey's blood dripping down, or having to stare at the woman's open eyes when her body slumps over. Then, with the last of his strength, Mikey gives Wynn the keys to his handcuffs, which Wynn uses to immediately tend to Mikey's side as he bleeds out. The saddest part of this though? Mikey asks Wynn to hold him as he passes away, having said scenes prior that he was mostly heart-broken by Wynn's status of a snitch because Wynn was the closest he had to family.

I cannot tell you how long I kept my jaw open. That scene is among one of my favorite moments on television. I literally had to pause the recording when it went to commerical, instead of fast-forwarding through them, to just sit there and reflect on it. Damn good television this week.

For the last awesome thing I saw on TV, the Steven Universe and Uncle Grandpa crossover was just as cool as I was expecting. Though both shows may not have the brand name as The Simpsons, Family Guy, or Futurama, and it was only a 10 minute segment, it was actually pretty entertaining. It also had a couple of of meta-jokes, like when Uncle Grandpa openly states that this episode isn't canon, or the character's reaction to hearing that he's everyone's "uncle AND grandpa". While my hopes of seeing characters interact with one another is dashed (other than one character eating another in a pretty humorous surprise), which is my favorite part of a crossover, overall the episode was great, and Uncle Grandpa might even hint towards another crossover with another chubby cartoon child.

Man, if there's an The Amazing World of Gumball crossover with Steven Universe or Adventure Time, my three favorite TV shows on Cartoon Network, I would actually squeal out loud. I love Steven Universe now that I got into it, and one episode still makes me tear up everytime despite seeing it a handful of occassions.

In unrelated news, it's been a little disappointing to me not to have talked about videogames (least, not on THIS site) for a while. I wanted to talk about my impressions of my recently purchased PS4 and Bloodborne, but these TV shows were so amazing that I had a lot to say. I also miss porn blogs, because I'm always finding some I want to talk about but don't have the time.

I am also salivating over Burger King's Bacon Cheddar TENDERCRISP Sandwich. I tried one of those, and every bite felt like it was gonna give me a heart attack. In other words, it's pretty good.

* - Retrofraction is announcing that he will be working on a documentary about Destructoid's staff members and the start of the site, and he needs YOUR help! Click here for details!

* - It's About To Get Gay In Here has news of an Indiana game developer who wants to raise money by announcing something that worked for a certain pizzeria...

M - Dreamweaver's hosting Band of Bloggers this month, and the topic ("From Software, With Love") is about anything from developers From Software!



T - The Drunken Crow isn't too drunk to say what he thinks about the newly released Bloodborne, and how it's a game of trial-and-error that's not afraid to be harder than other modern games.


? - Titannel continues his short story series with "Another Friday Night", which he debuts for the first time here for anyone else's eyes!



- Dreamweaver

FPotD

Photo Photo Photo








Good morning Dtoiders, it's your favorite beard again (or second favorite, depending on your style), and I'm here to bring you some encouragement this morning. 

So, as most of you know, I'm a youth pastor and work full-time at my church. Now, this isn't going to be a Theisms talking about Christianity because of what this weekend represents for me, but I just want everyone to realize that there's always hope.

Now, I just happened to find hope when I met this Jesus guy, but I know that religion isn't everybody's thing. but there's still hope to be found. In the words of the poet Jamey Jasta:

"Sometimes, it looks very bleak, but you gotta keep hope. And you know what? I've heard people say sh-- like 'Hope is for the weak.' Fu-- that, hope is all that we have."

He's very eloquent, obviously.

What I'm getting at is that life is too short to be miserable all the time. Go find the things that you love and do them. Unless it's meth, don't do meth. You want to write? Start writing. You want to get in better shape? Start going to a gym. Dare to take risks, and don't be afraid of failure, even Michael Jordan missed over 3,000 shots in his career.

I love to write and I love creating the video content that I do. Yes, it's frustrating to put so much hard work into something that so few people are going to see (at least right now), but I do those things because I genuinely love doing them. Maybe my videos aren't as good as something like a JonTron, and maybe my writing sucks, but I love doing those things, and if something I do can brighten someone's day or encourage them in some way, that's more important to me than a video getting one million views.

There's always hope, guys. It's all we have.

What better way to transition than to go from talking about hope to talking about something very bleak and foreboding. I'm, of course, referring to Axiom Verge, which is what I've been playing.

I didn't know much about Axiom Verge before I got a chance to play it at Pax East, but after I played that demo, I knew it was a day one purchase. I played Super Metroid for the first time last summer, and ever since then I've been on a Metroid kick. Axiom Verge pushes all the right buttons and checks all the right boxes to make it appear as a straight Metroid clone, and while there's no doubt what the inspiration for Axiom is, there's enough done differently to separate it from the iconic franchise.

I don't get the sense of lonliness that I did from SM due to the fact that you have the Rusalki speaking to you throughout key points in the game, and one even says "I'm always with you," not that she can actually do anything about it, but it does make me feel like I have support, whereas in Super Metroid, you knew that it was you and only you.

I'm not too far into the game yet. In fact, I've reached my first 'bang my head against the wall' moment and don't know where to go or what to do in order to progress, and I can only backtrack to a certain point, so my options of where it is that I could possibly go are limited. And if you're wondering (and want to help me out), I just reached the surface of the planet where there are rocks falling and what not. I probably should have taken the time to go and find out what that area is called, but I'm not going to, because...well, laziness.

So far though, I'm really enjoying it. I've taken out three bosses so far, and they've all been pretty easy, but I just love their designs so much, especially the one that's multi-tiered. The weapons are different and interesting, and most importantly, you can switch to your preferred weapon without the use of a menu system by a simple flick of the right analog stick.

The 'metroidvania' genre is perhaps my favorite outside of your traditional platformers, so Axiom Verge is right up my alley, and I've loved every second of it. The story actually has me reeled in pretty well, and I can't wait to see where it goes.

I also got around to finishing Captain Toad Treasure Tracker. And by "finishing" I mean that I've beaten all the levels. I still need to go back and 100% each one, and now that I have a Toad amiibo, there's an even greater incentive to go back, but there's too much stuff for me to play at the moment, so I'll probably save that for the inevitable summer drought.

Lastly, what game should get with for my Club Nintendo platinum reward? I've narrowed it down to Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga and Pushmo World. Everything else I either have or don't care about, so suggestions are welcome.

Recap time!

* - I think we can all agree that AmiiboMania has run a little too wild.

* - According to Busterofwar, Demon's Souls > Bloodborne

* - Could this be the end for the Smash series? Nintendette brings up some solid points.

A - Here's an update from Fenriff. Glad to see you back, sir. We missed you in your absence.

A - Kodu lists some games that will offend your grandma [NSFW]

A - Bought a New 3DS or planning to? Read this blog from Forgotten Bastion to avoid any tragedy when transferring your data.

A - N0signal gives you a quick walkthrough of the entire Souls series.

S - Jim goes on a rant in the latest "Censorship" blog. I love when that crazy German dude rants.

A - Literary Criticism versus Videogames. FIGHT!

F - Some Diablo action on this weeks Xbox FNF

F - You could have killed Nanners in Battlefield 4 on the PS FNF

E - Contact RadicalYoseph if you want in on the unofficial Super Smash Bros. Tourney

F - Some MK8 on the EUFNF. That's Mario Kart 8 and not Mortal Kombat 8, because that would mean you're playing Mortal Kombat Armageddon and nobody wants to play that one.

V - The latest edition of my Hall of Game series covers the pro wrestling classic WWF No Mercy on the N64.

P - Kooram gives us some first impressions on Rampage Knights

N - Titannel tells the tale of his Amiibo Wave 4 horror story.

T - Kesskuron dreams of a world of Dynasty Warhammers.

T - Hey, why not give Aether a shot? ScreamAid did and he recommends it.

 Happy Easter to those of you who celebrate it. And remember, as always, go out and do something good for somebody else today. It'll make you feel good, I promise.

-TheDustinThomas

FPotD

Photo Photo Photo








Yo community. We're back to bring you “Podgasms” for March 2015! For those that missed post #1, this is a complement to the new Monthly recaps but with podcasts. The best of the month out of the community that is applied directly to the ears. It really helps the various talented podcasters that Dtoid has to offer.

March was a bit slower than expected, I know for a fact a couple of our usual podcasts came through for what was probably a cold, rainy and unusual month for many of us. Nothing beats the bad weather like a good Destructoid community podcast to listen to! Thanks to everyone that listens to these and especially the dtoiders that put the time and effort into making them. And with that I hope you enjoy what this month has to offer and I will be seeing you again at the end of April!

As a disclaimer I’ve only included podcasts that have put up cblogs for their episodes, and for the future, please use the “podcast” tag with your blog to make sure I don’t miss it!

All recaps listed according to Alphabetical order:

P - Cblog Fapcast #21: I'm really [heavy sigh] feeling it

An old favorite makes a triumphant return to the Fapcast, this episode Mike and Strider have on Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon and Shade!

P - The Dead Pixels Podcast #15: Battle of the Aladdins

The DPP take on a very ancient dispute among games, Sega or Nintendo Aladdin? Find out what they had to say in episode 15!

P - Error Machine Podcast #44: Adventures in Retail

Listen to this episode of the Error Machine to hear out about PAX East, Vita, OlliOlli 2, Mario vs. Donkey Kong, Ironfall invasion and much more.

Also this month, The Error Machine Podcast posted its 45th and 46th episodes: Resident Hunk & Where Old Jokes Never Die

P - PStoid #20: We Lose the Tumblr Crowd

Join as rotated in host Cornflakejustice takes us through PStoid's most offensive episode to date.

Also this month, PStoid posted its 19th episode: Silent Banana

P - Skateboarding + Destructoid Podcast = Skatetoid!

Phil K. Sebben, Billy 'Cold William' and myself come together for a couple hours to straight talk about what we've done and know about skateboarding. There's just straight audio as this is a one-off podcast.

 

That's everything from March, look forward to one of these each month. Please Please Please, check out the podcasts that interest you and show them support so that the great people that put them out for you can keep up their labor of love.  

Thanks for reading and leave any feedback for this project in the comments!

-Nanashi

____________________________________________________________________________

Would you like to check out other entires in this Recap Series? Click below!










In another edition of "Things I could talk about, but won't", Nintendo Direct. I'd love to talk about it for a bit, but I feel like Strider and Script already covered most of it, so surely you won't need Shade's opinion anymore.

Okay, maybe just a tiny bit. I'll summarize.
1. I thought the Direct was really good, but for every Direct in which there is no Metroid news a part of my soul dies.
2. Super hyped for Mewtwo, Lucas, and getting to choose our own new addition to Smash Bros. I'm still thinking about who to vote for, because I want someone who has a decent shot of making it (ergo, no third-party people. Or are there reasons to think they might have chance?). I'm thinking Fiora or Midna, but I'm going to be googling a list later. I'm overlooking someone fantastic, I just know it.
3. I'm remaining cautious about Fire Emblem. It's really unclear right now whether the US and EU are also getting the seperated version or whether it will be one game. If it's the former that's a very unnintendolike level of dickish. Otherwise, game looks great, want.
4. I'm more hyped for Shin Megami Tensei X Fire Emblem than ever. A lot of people complained that it looks more like Persona than either SMT or FE. I agree, it's not at all what I expected. On the other hand, Persona is one of those series I've always wanted to play, but couldn't. If this game is going to give me something comparable, I'm all over it.



With that out of the way, let's talk some Zelda. 2D Zelda, specifically.

It goes without saying that I'm a big Zelda fan, but for the most part I have sticked to the 3D iterations. OoT is great, MM okay, tWW amazing, TP also amazing, SS should've been better, and PoA is an acronym I just made up. That's all well and good. But I was still missing a number of the 2D games. I played the original, Link to the Past so long ago that I remember nothing about it, Minish Cap, Phantom Hourglass, Spirit Tracks and Link Between Worlds. That means I was still missing Adventure of Link, Link's Awakening, both Oracles, both Four Swords, and Link to the Past is so long ago that you might as well count it as 'missing'.

Fortunately, last week Club Nintendo of Europe finally started offering digital games as rewards, and among them were a couple of those games. With the stars I still had left, I managed to snag a 3DS version of Link's Awakening DX, and a WiiU version of Link to the Past. By now, I already beat them both.

So here's the bombshell: I do not like The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.


I know, I was shocked too. It's just...it's just not very good. At least not compared to the other games in the franchise.

The thing I disliked most was the weird-ass hitbox on Link's sword. I beat the entire game and I still don't know why my slashes hit sometimes but completely whiff at others. I noticed the hitbox is skewed to the left a little bit, which ties in nicely with Link being left-handed but just causes way more problems than it's worth. Enemies take a lot of punishment too, that is until you upgrade to the Level 4 Sword and you can kill bosses in 10 seconds. Not even the Biggoron Sword in OoT made them such a push-over.

Second, the dungeons and bosses are lackluster. Most of the dungeons feel pretty small, and there's not a lot to them. Most rooms just consist of killing all the enemies and breaking all the pots. I only came across a handful of actual puzzles, which I always considered Zelda's 'thing'. The worst thing though is that your items are barely ever necessary. Several dungeon items you can even skip entirely! And then when you get to the boss there's barely any strategy involved besides "hit it till it dies". No clever use of your new item or anything, just hit it and you're good. I can name you every dungeon, item and boss from most 3D Zelda games, but I've already forgotten what some of LttP's equivalents were.

Third, the overworld never gave me much of an incentive to explore. There are Heart Pieces to find, sure, but what usually happened when I went out of my way to explore that cave over there I would get a chest...with rupees in it. Just rupees. Besides that, most 3D Zelda games and even a number of 2D ones give you specific things to do inbetween tackling dungeons. Some dungeons are closed off until you go to a mini-dungeon and find an item, or sometimes you get ambushed by a sidequest on your way to the next dungeon. In Link to the Past, for the most part I could just stroll right up to the next dungeon no problem. Dungeon 4 is literally two screens away from the exit of Dungeon 3, and you don't need any items or whatever.

Speaking of Dungeon 4, let me share the thing that left a bad taste in my mouth more than anything.
This asshole:


For those not in the know, what you see there is the entrace to Dungeon 4, Thieves' Town. It took me forever to find out how to open it. In fact I didn't figure it out at all, I consulted GameFAQs.

Now, how do you think you gain access to that dungeon? Do you find a key? Do you bring a stray thief to the statue and ask him to open it for you? Do you bomb the entrance? Do you charge straight through with your Pegasus Boots? Do you go through the caves to find a switch?

No on all counts.

You pull it.
...
You pull it.
You pull the trident right the fuck off.

WHY? Why would I ever think to pull on that trident? That makes no sense in so many ways. Yes Link has the power gloves on, but all he ever used it for before this bit is lifting heavy rocks. What, am I to imagine that he straight-up bends the spokes and squeezes through? In what world is pulling it more logical than just bombing the thing? ARGH.

So, that's my opinion on Link to the Past. It's quite likely my least favorite Zelda. I mean I wasn't huge on Spirit Tracks or Link Between Worlds, but I'd still play them over this. Considering how many people swear by it I'm sure I'm missing something. But it just doesn't click. 

Fortunately, as luck would have it, I also played Link's Awakening DX.



The Gameboy games are the Zelda entries I know the least about, because nobody ever seems to talk about them. I suppose that must mean they're not all that great?

Wrong again. I liked Link's Awakening a heck of a lot.

Basically, it did everything right that Link to the Past did wrong. Link's hitbox makes sense now, the dungeons all have a neat theme, items are useful, there's stuff to do and characters to meet on the overworld, you can't just waltz into the next dungeon anymore, and even though several bosses still suffer from "hit it till it dies" they're at least a lot more memorable this time around. At one point the floor itself becomes a boss, it's the best. The music is also pretty decent for a Gameboy game, especially the ocarina songs which are catchy as sin.

So yeah, I loved this game a heck of a lot, and it's making me want to invest in 3DS versions of Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages right now. If they're anything like it, it'll be good times.

And that is my unpopular Zelda opinion for today. Link to the Past bad, Link's Awakening good.
Deal with it.




* - Nanashi loves himself some Wolfenstein: The New Order.

* - Pixielated knows what's up with SMT x FE. This blog is at least half the reason why I'm so excited for it.

* - It's not just today's Shadeisms that are about Zelda. Many people wrote great Zelda blogs this month, and Fenriff of the Band of Bloggers team discusses them all!


P - New video and new podcast from DustinThomas! Quite possibly featuring naked Lucario.

A - Here's something I never thought about before: how often does caring for the environment play into video games? JTRipton lists several green games.

A - Do you think the one thing missing from Smash Bros is bombs? If you do, aid Kesskuron in his quest to get Bomberman added to the roster!

A - The good, the bad and no ugly in the latest Nintendo Direct, as seen through the eyes of GoofierBrute.











L - Titannel shares an excerpt of a story he's writing. I wish my parents had named me "Colin Gear".


V - I got really interested by this blog's title, only to find that it's just a video. Son, I am disappoint.







- ShadeOfLight
May you always find water and shade

FPotD

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